Question for people who are not "out" to friends and family

[Sandi Beech]

Hi all,. I am just curious about something. For those of you who have not made friends and family aware of your dressing, do you post pictures here anyhow? It seems kind of risky. I am just wondering if any of you dress in secret, but post pictures regardless despite the potential risk.

Anyhow, just curious.

Sandi

[Tracy Irving]

Very little risk. If friends or family find there way to this site, discover my backside photograph and figure out it is me, more power to them. Probability is close to zero.

[Maria 60]

I posted a while ago of my new shoes or some clothing I bought but never showed my face. After all it's a small world and when I made the choice of staying in the closet, one can't take chances. My wife always tells me if I plan on going any further the next step would be to tell the children before they find out on there own. I don't post any photos of myself dressed and take the chance.

[Patience]

Some of my friends and most of my co-workers are aware of my dressing. Most of my friends and family are not.

Basically, I do post pics but keep the identities separate. Folks IRL don't know about my posts here and vice versa. It seems to work.

[Davina Katherine]

My wife and two adult daughters know and I've come out to two co-worker friends (trusted). I post pictures that clearly show my face.
Maybe I'm playing with fire.

[FrannGurl]

Much of my family knows, as well as several friends of mine who are mostly female. I could really care less anymore who knows or not. For the ones that did find out about me accidently, only one wasn't cool with it ( at least that's my thought since I don't hear much from him anymore) For someone you know to go through pictures on here and pick you out sounds unlikely...Unless they happen to be a crossdresser or trans themselves.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Yes, I DO post pics. I have no fears because I am completely unrecognizable when I am CDing. Not only Female but male "Characters" too Just to play around with different makeup effects is fun and challenging. Being un recognizable is part of the FUN of it all. I have a very versatile face.

[Leslie Langford]

I'm out to my wife, a counselor, and my adult children (barely), and I have posted pics here in the past, but never in "boy" mode...why take the chance? Consequently, I don't worry about being "outed"...I keep my two identities completely separate...separate on-line accounts, email addresses, and social media etc., and so far (fingers crossed!) the two have never intersected.

The way I see it, if someone ever did discover me here and connected the dots, I doubt they would ever confront me about it. After all, what would they be doing on this site and poking around here? Like me, they'd have "...some 'splainin' to do, Lucy!" :eek: :heehee: :D

[Fullerton]

Interesting as I had the same question.
I came to the conclusion the photo section requires 10posts to open
Anyone on here who identifies you is going to be in the same situation.

I think it’s possibly safe to post on here and would just keep the face out and have a plain background to add another layer

[Robertacd]

Before I was out I figured if anyone I know saw my pictures here and outed me they would be outing themselves too so...

After almost 20 years on this site and nobody has "accidentally stumbled across it" yet.

[Patience]

I came to the conclusion the photo section requires 10posts to open


That's as may be, but avatars are always visible to all users and guests.

[RADER]

NO, I have no pictures here, for the reason that someone just might stumble on to this site.
Rader

[Soriya]

I worried about the same thing when I first came here Sandi but once I took a few pictures being fully dressed I noticed I look completely different. In fact my profile picture to the right was the pic that changed my mind. I snapped it from my webcam and couldn't tell it was me.

[Meghan4now]

Well Sandi, this is a perennial question. I'm somewhat out, but that really shouldn't have too much influence in the decision.

1. If you don't want caught, you probably shouldn't do it. Alternatively, if you do it, be ready to own it. Like every other important life decision.
2. There is security here, but it's like a lock on a door. It helps honest people stay honest. If someone really wants to find the goods on you, they will. So refer back to #1.
3. Randomly discovering you here would require the other party to be interested in this sight and you. That's as questionable as your participation. You found me where? Why were YOU trolling that sight, hmmmm?
4. So what? Really, once your caught, what happens? Ruin you world? Wreck your relationship? Seriously, if your world sucks so much that being caught as a CD is totally devistating, do you really want to live that life? Back to #1 and own it.
5. Finally, the problem with lies or subterfuge is that it's a ton of work covering your tracks. Eventually you forget and make a mistake. If you have nothing to hide, this isn't a problem. Refer back to #1.

[TheHiddenMe]

My wife knows I dress and go out, other friends and family don't.

Until 3 1/2 years ago, I wouldn't even write a post here, much less post a picture.

Then I decided what did I have to lose, so I started posting comments and posting pictures. I figured if someone who knew the boy me found me on a crossdressing forum probably had their own reasons to stay quiet.

Then I got over the fear of going out dressed. I've been out over 100 times since then (a little over 3 years ago).

Now I write guest posts on a public blog (thanks Kandi) on my times out, like my post of today...

https://kandis328772669.wordpress.com/2020/01/05/drinks-with-michelle/

So no, I'm not worried.

However, my wife doesn't know I post here, much less on Kandi's Land. But she will never be on here, nor how would she find me on Kandi's Land. And again, if someone found me, why would they be looking on a crossdressing blog?

[Glenda58]

Yes I post pics here and Flickr. Once my wife came up behind me with my pic up and wanted to you who that was. I just don't care anymore who knows.

[Terrylynn]

This site outted me as they so "thoughtfully" send me a an email wishing me a happy birthday which my wife happened to see when I asked her to look at another email! Great, my wife now knows I have an identity on this sight as well as my screen name. Needless to say I rarely post anything on this site due to this breach of privacy.

[RachelWCat]

None of my family or friends know. Just my wife. I first started posting pictures back in the dark ages on a MySpace page and then shut that down and moved to Facebook. I also began posting on Flickr but shut that down after a while. I opened an Instagram account about a year ago but switched to private when a couple of former co-workers of mine began following me. That was WAAAY too much of a coincidence! The Instagram page has since reopened and those co-workers blocked but I guess they could easily create a new account themselves and try following me again. I'm at a point now though where I don't think I'd be bothered if someone I knew started following me again. Life's too short. Screw 'em!

[Patience]

This site outted me as they so "thoughtfully" send me a an email wishing me a happy birthday which my wife happened to see when I asked her to look at another email! Great, my wife now knows I have an identity on this sight as well as my screen name. Needless to say I rarely post anything on this site due to this breach of privacy.

Sorry you were outed by getting an email from this site, Terrylynn, but nobody told you to set up your account using that particular email address. Also, you probably received a confirmation code at the same address when you activated your account, so you knew there was a chance you could get an email from this site at that address anytime.

Forums like this generate such messages electronically and the site administrators cannot guess or be responsible for the coices of individual users. There are many valid criticisms that can be made of this site, but I regret to say that your inadvertent outing was entirely your fault. Sorry.

I set up a dedicated email for my fabulous fem self. Had you done the same, you would not have outed yourself. Sorry. I suggest you do it now, even if the cat is out of the bag in your case.

Maybe your story will serve as a warning to others.

[Stephanie47]

I do not post pictures because I really do not have the skill or the equipment. My wife knows I like to wear women's clothing, but, to what extent I do not know. She approaches my cross dressing like an ostrich....head firmly in the sand. She did come upon this site open with my login showing. All she said was I should be more careful, intimating somebody could come across the open browser.

I think someone would have some inclination a person is a cross dresser and then start searching sites for clues. If someone took the time and perused all the postings of Stephanie47 I'm fairly sure I have posted enough information that a person who knows me will figure it out. No picture needed. If one has the inclination and the time peruse this site without logining into the site and see how much information who can glean about yourself. There are a lot of posts about trips on specific weekends to certain locations and venues. If someone really cared they'll find. A wife? Just install a keystroke program and it's all easy.

[Teresa]

Sandi,
Please don't forget when you post pictures on the forum it's not just family and friends who may come across them , you also visible to much of the English speaking World . I did find that quite scary when I used my first avatar .

I admit I took those risks but now it's doesn't concern me too much apart from pictures can be lifted .

As for people outing themselves by poking around this forum , some people may only visit to discover more about the problems they and their male partner face , lets not forget it is a help forum .

[Helen_Highwater]

Sandi,

Would they recognise you? If you look at the "Boy Vs Girl" posts the differences can be striking. It's amazing the difference a wig and a bit of slap can make to how you look.

A couple of years ago I attended a social group meeting at which there were changing facilities. Towards the end of the night I glanced at the changing room door and saw two men walking out. My first thought was, "Where the hell did they come from?" for just a few moments later the realisation to sink in that ten minutes before I'd been sat talking to their femme selves. Had I not seen them exit the changing room and later passed them in the street I doubt I'd have recognised them.

There are also posts here of folks walking past family members in the street and going totally un-noticed. Don't fret it too much. It's one of those little gremlins that sit on our shoulder whispering about the mob being out to get you.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

Not too many here, but on Flickr I do. Seems like the only people that look at them are people like us and 'admirers' or 'chasers' or whatever name you want to call them. I block the latter as fast as I can. I'm not sure how anyone would randomly happen upon the pics unless they were in the one category or the other.

[Lacey86]

I haven't posted pics but I post on the forums. I haven't had time to dress or take pictures in forever but I don't think I'm cute dressed so I don't think even if I did take pictures that I'd ever be brave enough to post them. I'm out to my wife, and was out to a therapist a few years ago. That's about it. Wife doesn't mind if I do it without her but won't participate.

[mbmeen12]

I put an emoji on my face ONLY because I need a job vs wanting one. Employers will google!

Not only that, any pic you post is likely to be used other than its original intent....

[Sandi Beech]

Thanks for all the responses. It is probably relatively safe for me to post pictures so I may do it soon. There are really only a few people who could cause me some problems. There are a couple of what I would refer to as hostile people in my daughter in laws family who would love to use it against us. It is not likely my wife would know as she does not really talk to people much and does not use social media. Oddly, what almost caused me to get busted is ordering from Amazon. They keep track of order history and it is hard to fully remove their suggestions for purchase of items once bought. Since then I have used a second Amazon account and that helps a lot to prevent my wife from seeing any order history. Of course I have used all separate email accounts for everything and I ship everything to a UPS store. As someone mentioned, there are a long trail of little lies associated with dressing in secret, and it only takes one little mistake to be outed. Until then, I am going to have me some fun - headed to Vegas and Denver soon. I may get some pics. See ya.

Sandi

[Star01]

I have my avatar and have posted a few photos but it doesn't worry me. If anyone I know sees them that means they are looking at this website. If they are here and see my photo that means I know someone else who dresses.

The chance someone in my family is suspicious and trolling crossdresser sites looking for pics of Gramps in a dress rank right up there with getting hit by lightning. My wife finding a pair of panties in the laundry is a bigger concern but I don't worry about that either. She is the one who insisted on DADT so why would she search the web for my pics or Snoop in my laundry basket if she doesn't want to know. Most of the time I do my laundry and ask her if she has anything she wants washed and I do my girlie unmentionables by hand.

Worrying about revealed photos would amount to uneccessary paranoia because it's next to impossible for anyone to find the few I have posted. Someone could look right at my avatar and it's so small it would likely go over their head. I have built computers on and off for 20 years and hide all of my Star photos in an encrypted drive using the open source program Veracrypt to create virtual drives. They'd have to first find my encrypted file, recognize that it's encrypted then figure out how to use the program and guess a sixteen digit password and my Linux user password to find them. The odds of dropping a pair of panties on the way to the laundry room and not noticing are 1000x times greater than anyone ever getting into my stored photos. The password to this site and the fact that I go in here would be difficult to find as well and nobody would know my CD name so they'd have to randomly search posts. I'm not that important that anyone cares that much to try to out me so someone randomly finding my photos is the least of my worries.

[NancyJ]

I gave a lot of consideration to posting a head shot of Nancy here and decided to do so because: It is reassuring to me to see the image of myself in my preferred gender. I realize there are risks. However, there are 360 million people in the U.S. and Canada and I am always careful not to reveal my location. I think my male image (sans wig and makeup) looks little like Nancy. Plus, if someone were on this site and happened to pay enough attention to recognize me, there is a pretty good chance they are either TG or an ally. Plus, in my day-to-day life in male mode I frequently have people tell me that I look like someone that they know or someone famous. So, the odds of someone saying I look like someone’s picture on a CD site? I’ll take the chance. Nancy

[JuliaGirl]

I've posted a few pics of my legs dressed for various threads (and heels), and have posted my avatar picture as well after some internal debate, but it'd be nearly impossible for anyone to both stumble across it who knows me, and then actually recognize me. If that did happen and I am then also publicly outted to anyone else who cares, at this point in my life despite being closeted, I'm at the "who cares" stage anyway. I ptobably will never post full on, up close headshots ... but I *am* getting my makeup done professionally one evening two weeks from now by a delightful makeup artist in Niagara Falls (and still have not found anywhere to step out) and plan on taking better pics anyway. We'll see.

[Krisi]

First of all, as you might have guessed, "Krisi" is not my real name. Second, I believe I would not be recognizable as Krisi unless there was a way to tie me to my home or my wife like walking out of my house or being seen with my wife by someone who knows us both. Third, I wouldn't expect anyone I know to be a member of this group or have access to these photos. A google search for "Krisi" and "crossdresser" might find my avatar photo, but that's pretty unlikely to happen because nobody but folks here knows me as Krisi. I've made an effort not to post my location, hobbies, etc.

Anything we do has its risks. For example, I'm sitting here dressed as Krisi and there could be a fire or earthquake that requires me to run outdoors still dressed. We have to balance the risks with the rewards.

[Krea]

The only photo' i have posted here so far is the one on my profile page, which is visible to members only. (I did run this by my wife first.)
It's more of a gender-blurred look than fully femme, but it could be recognised by someone who knows me. It's a small risk, but i don't really care. If anyone recognises my piccy whilst on this forum, the chances are that they are here for the same genuine reason as me anyway....

[Cheryl T]

Yes I post here and I am not out to family and friends.
When I first decided I needed to meet others and wanted to attend a support group meeting my wife was hesitant for that reason, "what if we meet someone we know at the meeting?"
Well, what if we did? I replied.
Will they go running to all of our friends and say "guess who we met at the crossdressers meeting Saturday". I don't think so and if they did then they out themselves as well. And if the friends turned their backs, then they weren't really friends now were they?
I don't think my friends and family will come here looking.

[Teresa]

Sandi,
I have to totally agree with Helen , I've met people who knew me in male mode back in my old home town and I really have had to spell it out to them before the penny has dropped . I've never done a " Boy Vs Girl " picture and don't intend to , very few of my social groups and no one on the forum has seen me in male mode and that's the way I prefer it , I don't see the point , I'm hoping eventually I may never have to do it at all .

Cheryl,
I have had that happen to me on one occasion . I was in a costume shop in drab and the SA who knew all about me asked if I wanted to buy a jacket a customer had never collected after some repair work . I was trying it on when a good friend and her daughter saw me , she asked what I was doing wearing a women's jacket , I simply told her I was TG and was born like it . She then said , " I can't wait to tell A .. ( husband ) " The SA stepped in and simply said , " Is that being fair ? " and shook her head . That was about 4 years ago , in a conversation recently my wife was in conversation with her and she then told her how long she'd known about my dressing , all water under the bridge now because I'm not concerned what they think .

[Tina Davis]

I have no issue posting photos of me here, even though I am not out to my family. They do not know the extent of my wardrobe or anything about this site, so I don't believe that anyone who knows the male me would recognize me from pictures here. I did post one "Boy vs. Girl" picture, but it's one of hundreds in the 67-page thread, so I'm pretty sure no one will find it.

Everyone has their own comfort level with pictures, and there is always a risk that a picture will be reused somewhere else. But the chances of someone connecting that picture to your male self are really small, unless you have something in the picture that uniquely identifies you. And even then, it's unlikely. So post away in the Photo section, and use your good judgment in this public section.

[ChubbyLeahCD]

I post pictures on IG and share with people I chat. I just don?t show my face LOL

[jacques]

hello Sandi,
I have not taken many pictures of myself and when I do I don't include my face. But I realised that my untidy room is in the background; so I don't post them anywhere.
luv J

[Leslie Mary S]

Hi I have posted photo since 2010. Long before coming out of the closet.
for your avitar you might want to try using 'Faceapp"

[Leslie Langford]

Sandi,
I have to totally agree with Helen , I've met people who knew me in male mode back in my old home town and I really have had to spell it out to them before the penny has dropped . I've never done a " Boy Vs Girl " picture and don't intend to , very few of my social groups and no one on the forum has seen me in male mode and that's the way I prefer it , I don't see the point , I'm hoping eventually I may never have to do it at all .

Cheryl,
I have had that happen to me on one occasion . I was in a costume shop in drab and the SA who knew all about me asked if I wanted to buy a jacket a customer had never collected after some repair work . I was trying it on when a good friend and her daughter saw me , she asked what I was doing wearing a women's jacket , I simply told her I was TG and was born like it . She then said , " I can't wait to tell A .. ( husband ) " The SA stepped in and simply said , " Is that being fair ? " and shook her head . That was about 4 years ago , in a conversation recently my wife was in conversation with her and she then told her how long she'd known about my dressing , all water under the bridge now because I'm not concerned what they think .

A very timely cautionary note about what can happen unexpectedly in the Real World, Teresa. "I can't wait to tell A"... Seriously??? God bless those busybodies...NOT!

Your "friend" may well have known about Teresa over the last 4 years, but the salient point here is whether or not she heeded the SA's admonishment or conversely, if her "need" to immediately spread this juicy piece of gossip about you and bring her husband (and potentially, others) into the loop prevailed instead.

[Victoria_Winters]

I don?t post pictures of me at all! I have posted. Few but I?m certain that no one would recognize me in the pics.. I usually hide my face in pics

[Tahoegurl]

Hi all, I post pictures here and I am comfortable with who I am. If someone decided to give me a hard time about it, I think it speaks more to their character then it does to my love of wearing womens clothes. Cheers.

[Micki_Finn]

This site outted me as they so "thoughtfully" send me a an email wishing me a happy birthday which my wife happened to see when I asked her to look at another email! Great, my wife now knows I have an identity on this sight as well as my screen name. Needless to say I rarely post anything on this site due to this breach of privacy.

Wait, wait, wait! YOU told your wife to go into your email, but somehow this site breached your privacy? I dont think this means what you think it means.

You can also turn off email notifications in the settings.

[NancyJ]

Wait, wait, wait! YOU told your wife to go into your email, but somehow this site breached your privacy? I dont think this means what you think it means.

You can also turn off email notifications in the settings.
Plus, most of us, I believe, have separate email addresses for our female personas. Yahoo and Gmail allow you to establish as many email addresses as you want. Nancy has two.

[Suzie Petersen]

Teresa,

Teresa: ..... I was trying it on when a good friend and her daughter saw me , she asked what I was doing wearing a women's jacket , I simply told her I was TG and was born like it . She then said , " I can't wait to tell A .. ( husband ) " The SA stepped in and simply said , " Is that being fair ? " and shook her head ....
If you did not ask your good friend to keep this secret, and you were trying on the jacket in public, why do you, or the SA for that matter, feel there was anything wrong in her saying she would tell her hubby?

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

Hi I have posted photo since 2010. Long before coming out of the closet.
for your avitar you might want to try using 'Faceapp"

I'm a little skeptical about people not being able to recognize someone when made up but there are some Faceapp looks that really stop looking recognizable.

[Lacey New]

I have posted a few but never a shot of my face or anything too risqu?. Also, any pictures were taken with a camera that is not internet capable.

[BrendaPDX]

I post very few pictures, I don't worry too much. Like others have said, not too many of my family or peers surf this site:battingeyelashes:

[ClosetED]

I have posted nearly 1500 pictures over the many years and not been outed once. The Picture Gallery is visible to members only and not web crawling indexers. I use a different email account just for Ellen. I have a FB account as Ellen and post to Friends only. My avatar are my legs as that is public. I have not posted any of my several boy vs girl pictures, except one 'party' shot with my drab face blurred. If a CDer member recognizes my house, then why worry - they are a CDer as well. My wife knows, but is worried the police will arrest me for this activity, despite it not being illegal. She think it is just like pedophilia and would hide a child from a TG person. Yes, that stupid. My FB profile picture has led to anyone recognizing me, but has led to men trying to become friends with the woman they see. I do let them know once I realize they are confused and not another CDer.
Hugs, Ellen

[Star01]

One thing I neglected to mention when I posted about using an encrypted virtual drive is being stealth with email. I have a separate email address with one of the popular online providers that nobody knows about. I do not write the email or password down and if I access it from my cell phone I use the web browser and do not install the app. When accessing this site on my computer I always open a private browsing window so my online history isn't recorded and I clear browsing history on a regular basis. Admittedly I might be more in tune with tech having built computers and my use of Linux which is more secure but most of what I do is pretty straight forward. I do not visit this site when my wife is up and about doing things around the house but wait until she's planted in front of the TV at night watching her lineup of shows. My computer room is in our lower level and we have hardwood floor and steps so I can hear every step she takes. And never, never, never get up from my computer and leave anything open that I don't want her to see. If I expect her to look the other way in our DADT why would I not take these kinds of precautions to ensure that I keep up my end of our agreement?

- - - Updated - - -

PS, I spent quite a few years doing digital photography and submitting my photos to racing papers and magazines. Aside from the first couple years it was all digital SLR with interchangeable lenses and I still get out once or twice each summer to pad my personal collection. I see comments about taking photos where it's obvious that those posting could use some help. I'm good at photo processing and resizing along with layered graphics and that sort of thing. If anyone here is struggling trying to find answers they can message me and I might be able to help.

One thing I see that I would warn against is being sure to transfer pics from camera to computer and delete from camera. I know better but when I turned on my camera at Christmas while hosting over 30 people up pops pics of me en femme I had forgotten to delete. Meanwhile I've got a line of family deer hunters lined up saying "cheese" as I'm doing finger gymnastics trying to subtly delete a dozen Star pics. That was a close call.

[Marianne S]

What an interesting question, Sandi! Scanning through the responses, I immediately "clicked" with what MarinaTwelve200 said: namely, that "being unrecognizable is part of the FUN of it all!"

Speaking for myself, I have no fear of being recognized here. I can't help thinking of a colleague I used to work with, a world class expert on computer security, who spoke (among other things) of the concept he called "security by obscurity." If we're obscure enough, there's very little risk of anybody recognizing us. And I reckon there's very little chance of anybody we know coming to this site in the first place! Even if they do, there's still only a low probability of their spotting and recognizing anyone's avatar. (Fullerton's observation about having to register and post to get access to the "photos" section is well taken.) Unless, that is, they're crossdressers themselves--in which case they may have a secret they want to hide as well! Imagine them saying to our mutual friends: "Guess who I saw on a Web site the other day! It's called 'crossdressers dot com'" and the friends asking "Well, George, what were you doing on a site like that in the first place?" If they had the same secret some of us share, I suspect they will not be willing to draw attention to what they found!

But here's the big laugh! My little avatar--I have a big eight by ten framed photograph of that same picture standing openly on the square oak-and-glass coffee table in my living room, right next to a similarly framed photograph of myself and my (sadly late) wife taken many years ago. Needless to say, I look very different in both pictures! Apart from the dress and makeup and blonde hair as Marianne, with sunglasses, in the "couple" picture I have my natural brown hair and dark framed eyeglasses, before I adopted contact lenses. Oddly enough, nobody yet has ever asked "Who is the blonde woman in that photo?" I guess they just assume it's a family member. And even if they did wonder, I defy them to identify the blonde as the guy in the "couple" photograph! If they ever did ask, I plan to tell them "That's our very good friend Marianne, pictured on the deck ontside our home when we used to live in Massachusetts." If they ever did guess, I could always tell them I dressed up "for a lark," but I'll bet no-one ever guesses.

As Marina said, that's "part of the fun of it all." What a giggle! :D

[Judy-Somthing]

As far as I know, no one that I know of has seen my photos.

I put a lot of effort in trying to look like a women so I like to show my photos.

[Alicew]

None on this site as of yet , mainly to do with body issues im still dealing with and even then mainly waist down leg shots so nothing incriminating, funnily enough these are the only pictures I have ever taken of my self dressed up or not .So I'm using it as body positivity therapy even had some compliments on my legs too .

[Teresa]

Suzie,
At that time I'm sure the SA thought it was an overreaction , OK I wasn't quite ready for being exposed in that way , now it wouldn't bother me .

[Sandi Beech]

Hi all, thanks for all the input. I guess it is too late now. I just posted some pics of me. Take a look in the pictures section. Maybe I'm Crazy....Maybe I'm Crazy.....

Sandi

[AllyCDTV]

I've posted pics on this site and all sorts of other sites too over the last 10+ years. Nobody has even attempted to guess my secret identity. In makeup and a wig, I don't even recognize myself. A key factor is that I make sure there is nothing identifiable in the background. All the backgrounds in anything I post is either a solid color sheet or heavily blurred out in Photoshop.

[giuseppina]

I don't post pictures anywhere.

[Star01]

As pointed out in another thread all visitors to this site can see are the avatars. They have to become members to see our full size pictures. Everyone in my family does 99.9% of their web searches on their phones so it's a stretch they would recognize my avatar when it's smaller than a postage stamp and if they become a member then I have a new confident.

My wife insisted on DADT so if she wants to expand on that agreement all she has to do is ask. Why would she come here and sneak around looking for evidence when she can simply ask me anything she wants? As far as anyone else my kids would never come here. Some of their kids are at the age where they're identifying as gender fluid and coming out as bi so they've got other things on their mind besides me who they consider their "old clueless and out of touch" dad. To put it another way, what's my lesbian daughter going to say if she finds out her dad likes to dress like a woman sometimes?

No worries on the photos and I think a lot of the fears are due to a lack of computer and internet knowledge or in some cases thinking we are a bigger deal in the eyes of others than we really are. We're just a blip on the radar screen of the internet and these days with all the stuff going on most people have bigger concerns than us.

[Barbara Jo]

Let me relate this to you all....

There used to be a local gay bar (just out of town) that also featured drag show on weekends . It was actually on my way home and a bartender was once my gay neighbor who used to live down the street from me. I was actually good friends with his straight brother who knew nothing about my CDing

He explained that anyone who came there will not say anything about you as everyone there is also gay or a CD.....and they do not want anything said about them either.
Even if someone did, they would have to first explain just WTF they were doing in a gay bar to begin with.

The same can apply to this site. :)

[abby054]

Nope, with the single exception of my Oktoberfest photo from about two years ago. It would be difficult to identify me from that photo...face cropped out and wearing an outfit that I wear but once a year far from home. And no one really cares.