Odd way to come out

[Sarah Doepner]

I was in guy mode when I went to lunch with former co-workers yesterday, one woman and three men who I enjoy and trust. I've come out to the woman and one of the men, so they were smiling nervously as the conversation changed.

The woman is outspoken about things she considers fashion mistakes, the guys were pushing her buttons and she was playing along. Then one of them started going around the table asking what we wore last week. When he got to me I said "You don't want to know." He insisted he did and I declined once more. On the third request of "I really do want to know." I adjusted my shirt to show them the button I was wearing with the stripes of the Transgender flag and the words "Won't Be Erased" printed on it.

"Do you know what this means?" I asked.

"No, not really."

"These are the colors of the Transgender flag and it represents the attack on that community by those in power who are attempting to chase them back into the closet."

"Okay, and?"

"I'm Transgender, always have been. Longer than anyone here has known me in fact." I looked around the table at two faces with smiles and two with puzzled expressions. "Now are you sure you still want to know what I was wearing last week?"

At that point the conversation shifted to other things. I'm not sure they actually know what just happened, but I'm going to be following up before we meet again.

[mykell]

possibly some interweb searches were done after lunch....

[Allisa]

Sarah it's been said that a good defense is the best offense and visa versa.

[Stephanie47]

Doing a search on the web for "transgender" may leave them just as confused as before.

[April Rose]

I love this, Sarah. I think you handled it exactly right!

[docrobbysherry]

A picture's worth a 1000 words. And, requires no further explanations!:D

[Crissy 107]

Sarah, I think you handled it perfectly, good for you!

[alwayshave]

Sarah, I don't think it was an odd way. I think you handled it well.

[NancyJ]

One word: Courage! Good for you.

[Elizabeth G]

Well done Sarah, I love your handling of the situation.

[Bobbi46]

Sara you did well there, sometimes getting put on the spot stops one explaining the whole thing, leaving things hanging in the air so to speak will give them food for thought and in any case the women you are out to may well do the telling for you.
kudos to you Sarah 1-0 to our community.

[kimdl93]

That was different, yes, but also the most affirming and assertive statement.

[Rhonda Darling]

Sara:

Assuming that you do not regret putting yourself in that way, I say well done. Your approach was lo-key, but you laid it out there in an unmistakable way. I hope they were/are curious enough to follow through and learn more, and I think you need to help steer that so,they do not stumble on all the hate and distortions that are out there.

Now the more important matter. Where can we get that pin? It sounds like a must have.

Best,
Rhonda

[Jean 103]

A picture's worth a 1000 words. And, requires no further explanations!:D

Exactly, when I came out at work I simply pulled up a picture on my phone and said this is me. Simple no discussion required.

I have been out for a few years , still I wouldn't expect anyone to know what this button on my purse stands for.309762

[Teresa]

Sarah,
As they were trusted colleagues I might have been a little more obvious and stated the exact clothes I had worn , if they then pressed for more I would have added the situation with being TG . I'm sure you've reached that point and deserve some recognition for being TG .

[Sarah Doepner]

Unfortunately I had left my phone home that morning and couldn't show them a photo. Next time I guess, unless I show up as Sarah but then would I have to show them a photo of Dave so they know who they are dealing with?

Yesterday the opportunity presented itself again, but this time with the wife of a friend and I had my tablet so she got one of the good photos. Once again it went without a hitch and we continued to chat about things, even some that didn't deal with being transgender.

These folks are starting to make me let my guard down.