Location, going out en femme and the women in my world...

[Star01]

Reading through posts and commenting about location and difficulty going out en femme made me think about the women in my world. They're more likely to be wearing jeans and t-shirt wearing a ball cap with their pony tail coming out the back and hoisting a beer while whoo hooing about something in a bar. Most live in casual clothes and even weddings and funerals aren't enough motivation to wear a dress. Consequently, when I read about CD's dressing up and going out to big city clubs in places like southern California, New York and Chicago it's obvious that we live in different realities. I even have photos I took of women working on race cars in 95 degree heat so it's becoming obvious that we all have different viewpoints.

It would be interesting to see some comments from others who are in similar locations.

[Leslie Langford]

You raise a very valid point, Star, and the way most GG's dress these days sets the whole concept of crossdressing on its ear, doesn't it? Bad enough that being crossdressing men who prefer wearing dresses, skirts, pantyhose, and heels already sets us apart from the mainstream, the mere fact that we even wear these things in the first place already puts us under unwanted scrutiny regardless of our biological sex.

What to do, what to do? In order to stay true to our "cause", do we now need to also adopt the standard female "uniform" of skinny jeans, leggings, baggy sweatshirts, flip-flops, and ballet flats etc. as well, or - if we happen to feel especially daring - skimpy crop-tops?

Our cherished world is crumbling around us. Sigh! :doh: :eek: :sad:

[Majella St Gerard]

Well, for me I don't want to dress like every other woman, I want to dress as MY idea of a woman and that woman wears dresses and skirts. With that said, you do have to dress for the venue/location that you will be in. I don't wear stuff that I wear to the bar/club to the market or running errands but I do still wear a dress or skirt, very rarely do I wear pants even in cold weather. Everyone has their own style, I don't want to dress like a schlub, I like to get noticed for the outfits I choose and have been stopped and complimented many times by strangers (men and women) on how good I look, and yes I know it is because I am a man dressed as a woman, I'll take that. Most women have to step up their game. Just my opinion.

[tifftg]

I work in a multi-tower office complex with thousands of folks. The dress is generally business casual for both the men and women. The range for the women runs the gamut of jeans to dresses. Flats, to heels to boots. I like the diversity and while I cannot dress enfemme to the office I do let my mind wander as to what I would wear to blend in.

[Dutchess]

Reading through posts and commenting about location and difficulty going out en femme made me think about the women in my world. They're more likely to be wearing jeans and t-shirt wearing a ball cap with their pony tail coming out the back and hoisting a beer while whoo hooing about something in a bar. Most live in casual clothes and even weddings and funerals aren't enough motivation to wear a dress.

Where in the heck do you live ??? I mean , yes I live in SoCal but I've been paid catch rider on the track with both Thoroughbreds and Quarter horses over 40 years now and even muddy and wet I don't dress like the above . I do have a little pride still .
I have worked in Seattle , Portland , OKC , Dallas and Houston and not ever dressed like that .

As far as another poster keeps saying , I also NEVER wear skinny jeans , baggy sweatshirts etc etc & I have not worn leggings since the mid 80's and that was for a couple of months maybe so that's not a standard uniform that I see . Crop tops ??Lmao
I am FINALLY getting to go to Ascot this year and I have NEVER been more ready , I have 7 days worth of dresses , hats , purses and shoes and the like that all adhere to the Queen Anne Enclosure dress codes , really not all of us cis gendered gals dress like ^#&@ just because we don't look like June C or Hyacinth B ..

Plus I am the biggest Seahawk fan that ever lived .

[Davina Katherine]

Just this past weekend, I got dressed up in a flowered purple skirt, white blouse and red wool coat to go to the near by outlet mall.
When I got there it was obvious that I was WAY over dressed. Everybody was wearing blue jeans and puffy coats! It was really cold.

I just wanted to blend, not stand out like a sore thumb.

[JessikaSometimes]

With exception of church-goers, I almost never see girls wear skirts/dresses.

[Diane Smith]

That girl working on a race car in the 95 degree heat won't be wearing heels or long nails while on the job, but she may, as they say, "clean up well" and be seen later on in an elegant dress and stockings, you know. One glance can't tell you everything, and far from criticizing her wardrobe, I'd be intrigued by a woman who had demonstrated technical skills and the confidence to demonstrate them in a testosterone-rich environment. In other words, more power to her!

- Diane

[Tracii G]

Its pretty common the the CD world that guys who dress as women have this image of what a woman in their mind is and sometimes its not quite the current reality.
Some CDs are your 50s,60s Mom types the others 70s and 80s bar going type women they remember from those days.

[RachelWCat]

Echoing some of the other comments here, I think it's common for a lot of CDs to dress in an idealized way. I've always had a thing for heels and leather and spent years dressing up in leather outfits that no woman in their right mind would wear on the high street. In more recent years, as I became more confident in going out in public, it was clear I would have to tone down my fashion sense if I didn't want to stand out. I actually find it more fun now looking up current fashion trends and really making an effort to dress more 'normally' rather than as some kind of fantasy woman that was in my head. I still get to wear my precious leather in the form of leggings and pencil skirts. And high heels never go out of fashion :)

[Star01]

With exception of church-goers, I almost never see girls wear skirts/dresses.

She was on a World of Outlaws pit crew so I doubt that there would be many opportunities to dress until their banquet in the fall. They criss cross the country from February through October chasing up to 100 nights a year living out of their transporters and motels. It's a grueling lifestyle that requires a big commitment and they race on dirt tracks. Most nights they don't get done with maintenance and the car wash until 3am and are out in the motel parking lot working again when they get up. It's highly unlikely that she had time for getting dressed up after work when the work is a lifestyle.

[BrendaPDX]

I am in the Great Pacific Northwest. We went to a large shopping mall over the weekend and I couldn't help but notice not a single dress and only one skirt (relaxed short skirt) the entire day. Well except for sales staff and even then only a few. I was disappointed but that is the norm here now. So yes I have picked up some jeans and flats just to blend in at times. Mind you a nice fitting pair of jeans is really sexy too.

[Sandi Beech]

It seems that people generally dress more for comfort than anything else these days. It kind of explains how ?business causal? came about. Since I have stepped up my cross dressing the last couple of years, I have paid a LOT more attention to what women are wearing. Now I go out of my way to compliment a finely dressed woman whenever I have a chance. Without exception, every single one has been very appreciative of my noticing their efforts. Maybe we don?t give enough compliments these days. Just a thought.

Sandi

[Krisi]

If you want to go out in public as a woman and don't want to call attention to yourself, you should dress like the other women will be dressed for the time and place. You can probably still wear a dress or skirt and blouse in most cases because most women (and men) are expected to dress to a certain standard for their jobs (office workers, sales people, etc.) The key is to blend in so don't wear stripper heels, ultra short skirts, too much makeup, etc.

You can simply go to where you plan to go in advance and see what the women are wearing, then wear the same type of clothes when you go there.

[NancySue]

Yes, I?ve heard and read...if you want to go out dressed, just blend in. Around here...Easier said than done. To blend in around here means no makeup, no skirts, no hose, no heels, hair messy, etc. etc. What you see are mostly jeans, yoga pants, etc., plain top...almost masculine looking. The last time I went out, I dressed down, but still my light makeup, combed hair, low heels, drew stares....very frustrating.

[Star01]

Interesting comments and a lot of different opinions. I'm DADT and wouldn't go out in public until I felt confident that I was passable. That could be a long time or maybe never depending on how therapy and the talk goes if I decide to go that route.

I have the option to spin a yarn and get a room for a night or two every couple of months so I'll be doing that in the coming months. I've got interests that she does not share so that gives me an opportunity to dress. I would never go out as a miad and prefer to blend in which is probably a better way of saying it than passable as I'd never be that.

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Sorry, meant to reply to Diane Smith on her comment about the female mechanic and my phone betrayed me. She was laying in the dirt changing gears in rear end of the race car when I snapped her picture. Admittedly that is not a typical woman but I have seen a lot of that up her in flyover country.

[Kay J]

Dutchess would love to see you in Lambeau Field Sunday at the Seahawk and Packer game in your pretty dress and shoes just kidding go Pack!!

[Cheryl T]

Seems we live in similar areas.
Around me it's mostly jeans or leggings, comfortable shoes and tops. I've been culling my wardrobe because of that and even though I still have a number of skirts and a half dozen dresses I struggle to find somewhere to wear them. In winter it would be a jean skirt and tights, in summer a simple cotton dress but even then I'd be sometimes overdressed.
Be that as it may I find that I'm quite happy just being one of the gals. I no longer need to be "dressed to the nines" to feel the way I want to. Maybe it's my getting older, maybe it's being more comfortable with who I am and not needing all the frills to me.

[Stephanie47]

They're more likely to be wearing jeans and t-shirt wearing a ball cap with their pony tail coming out the back.

I do agree the attire you describe is what I see around my neck of the woods. If GG's are adorned as you describe then every MtF guy undersdressing and wearing jeans and a tee shirt is fully engaging his desire to cross dress. I am a child of the 1950's and 1960's and my idea of wearing women's attire does not include wearing anything resembling pants. No skinny jeans. Before I retired I worked in an office where our staff engaged with cpa's, attorneys and business men and women. Some of our professional staff thought suitable attire was sweat suits, capri pants and sandals, etc. Totally unprofessional. It looked as if people were headed for the gym or the beach. Ugh!

If you want to see women in skirts and blouses or dresses you have to hang out at certain churches or go to Costco after Sunday church services. It seems many of those women and their husbands take the kids for a $1.50 hot dog and soda. I can understand the desire to be totally comfortable with jeans and tee shirt and athletic shoes. That's how I dress as a man. I still "clean up nicely" when required to wear a shirt and tie, suit or sport coat and highly polished dress shoes.

If I am going out for a drive and evening stroll it is going to be in a dress, hosiery and heels, and all the proper undergarments. No pants EVER for me. Where's Karen Hutton when you need her!

[Aunt Kelly]

What to do, what to do? In order to stay true to our "cause", do we now need to also adopt the standard female "uniform" of skinny jeans, leggings, baggy sweatshirts, flip-flops, and ballet flats etc. as well, or - if we happen to feel especially daring - skimpy crop-tops?

What "cause" is that? If it is "to be like all the other girls...", OK, fine. More on that in a bit.

Otherwise, I say "nonsense"! If you're dressing for fun, for goodness' sake, have fun with it. For example, our friend Zoe often rocks the 50's pinup girl look (http://prnewswire2-a.akamaihd.net/p/1893751/sp/189375100/thumbnail/entry_id/0_aistszt9/def_height/500/def_width/500/version/100012/type/1). If you want to dress like June Cleaver in her Sunday best, complete with pearls, and matching shoes and handbag, go for it. As long as you looking for, or can at least tolerate the attention that will bring, have fun!

If, on the other hand, "flamboyant crossdresser" is not your thing, age and venue appropriate presentation is in order. Maybe you just want to "blend" in with the rest of the girls, wearing that "standard uniform", or maybe you're just an old lady, like me. OK, OK. I'm more that "eccentric aunt" type of old lady, but you get the idea.

[JenniferMBlack]

This is an on going thing here. With the wide variety of clothing women have to choose from. Why do crossdressers think they are always going to be sporting the cute and sexy things. I wonder if trans masculine guys are all the men aren't wearing the clothes I like is it the end of the suit? I haven't seen anyone wear wing tips in a month.
There is a simple answer to this. If you don't care what people think wear what you want when you want. If you want to blend wear what a girl might wear where you are going to be. Just because say 90 percent of them might have on jeans or shorts, dosent mean you cant wear say a denim skirt for example. And by doing so next time more girls might be wearing skirts. A guy wouldn't get up off his recliner and put on a suit to go to Walmart. So why would a girl put on a ball gown or fancy dress or wear high heels?
My point is as a whole society has dressed down and as a result you must adapt to the change or you will stick out. Thay can be good or bad.

[Dutchess]

Dutchess would love to see you in Lambeau Field Sunday at the Seahawk and Packer game in your pretty dress and shoes just kidding go Pack!!

HA YOU !!! I DO have a Seahawks dress !!! I posed with the Griffin twins in it !!! I was sopping soaking wet here in the Seattle rain so my hair and face are melting and NO heels for safety in that muck but who cares I LOVE MY KIDS !!!
GO HAWKS !!!!
This harkens back to that nail biter in '14......
Seriously Kay they are both fabulous teams , I love Jimmy G , Davante , both Aarons . Wish HaHa were still there and Randle .

309795

[Amari]

...., No pants EVER for me. Where's Karen Hutton when you need her!

Hey Stephanie, that shows you've been around here for a while!

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Nearly 50yrs ago when I was in high school (public school, not private), the girls gained the right to be able to choose to wear long pants as part of the winter uniform, maybe 1% of girls continued to wear the uniform tunic. These days I never see a high school girl wearing pants, always dresses. Those same girls out of uniform will almost invariably be in leggings or skinny jeans. I can't fathom the reason why the girls eschew the pants in school...

[Kay J]

Thanks Dutchess for the fabulous picture of you and Griffin twins! It's just to bad that there is not more ladys like you! The thing i was trying to say is up to 8" of snow and 20 degrees just not dress wearing weather for game day! Thx!

[Angela Marie]

I love leggings, have a great collection, and wear them while en femme, as well as to the gym. Luckily in my area leggings seem to be the preferred tire for both young and older.

[Star01]

Thanks for the interesting replies. I'm not sure what leggings are but my guess is that they're what I think of as tights. I've got two pair of black tights so some tops and women's casual shoes will follow along with a better quality wig. When I emerge from my self imposed exile, and I feel like it's going to happen, that will be my blending in outfit of choice. Some women's athletic shows with feminine trim would look nice and blend in with today's styles.

I grew up in the 50's and 60's with WWII era parents so I'm familiar with styles and music from their 40's era favorites right up to today's casual look. It would be fun to emulate those styles of years gone by but few places I see women dressed in clothing of bygone days aside from the calendars girls posing for photos at 50's era car shows.

[Dutchess]

Thanks Dutchess for the fabulous picture of you and Griffin twins! It's just to bad that there is not more ladys like you! The thing i was trying to say is up to 8" of snow and 20 degrees just not dress wearing weather for game day! Thx!

Oh I know , I was just being silly , you are quite correct though .
I would have my cashmere sweaters on, nice jeans , my glitter Seahawks Uggs , and my fancy heavy wool overcoat , with scarves and Seahawks gloves/hat, I love winter clothes .
I might even have to have my heated ski jacket on for that actually , Lambeau is a flipping BEAST in the winter , there are times for dresses and times you don't play around .