Combining male and female dressing styles

[Trysha]

I was wondering what other members thoughts are on blending ladies apparel (clothes, make up, shaving, accesories etc with male apparel.
I ask this mostly because I am nervous about presenting as a passable lady in public, so I may wear woman's jeans, and a male T shirt, but also
have my nails polished clear and my ears pierced. I'm sure we all have our comfort zones when it comes to dressing in public. I also love to converse with
the ladies around me for opinions while in a department store while observing hair or skin products, which gives me a wonderful feminine feeling of being one of the girls . Though unfortunately my male side likes to remind me I'm not.
I love the concept gender fluidity. Most woman where I live appear to be polite about men presenting as woman, and some are enthusiastic to show you
how they dress. That's sort of where I am at right now, at 63 years of age.
I find it interesting that I am a little dissapoinnted when the cashier calls me sir when I check out.
Does anyone hear have similar feelings or thoughts on the subject?

[ShelbyDawn]

All the time every day.
I suffer from terminal M.I.A.D. syndrome so have given up ever passing or even trying. Just not gonna happen.
Still, I wear a bra and panties, women's jeans with male dress shirts with my Lucchese boots. as my standard daily attire.
I wear tank tops for undershirts because I don't like the way sleeves bunch up under my arms pits and have found that women's tanks not only come in all sorts of pretty colors(that nobody sees but me) but are much softer fabric than men's.

It's just how I dress.

Point is, find your comfort zone, what works for you and go with it. As you feel the need, push the boundaries a little and see how it goes. We are designed to be in motion physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally, so go and grow...

[Helen_Highwater]

Trysha,

Many here do mix and match their clothing and to some extent mainstream fashion has beaten us to the punch is as much as I see males dressed in skinny jeans that are little different to femme ones. Tee shirts and hoodies are fairly inter changeable to. A pair of white sneakers is, well a pair of white sneakers.

"I ask this mostly because I am nervous about presenting as a passable lady in public" I'm one of many here who gave up on the idea of passing in public. Ain't goin' to happen. That doesn't stop me and many others from going out enfemme. That's not to say we don't do our best to look as good as we can. Pass I don't, blend in I can.

"I also love to converse with the ladies around me for opinions while in a department store while observing hair or skin products, which gives me a wonderful feminine feeling of being one of the girls." I could be way way off the mark here but from my experience those around with whom you converse are likely to think you're a gay man. I get to chat to ladies while dressed all the time, many times it's they who initiate the conversation. They are however under no illusion that I'm a man of that I'm sure but they treat me too as one of the girls.

Everyone has at some point been nervous about going out enfemme. The forum is littered with tales of first time out which almost universally describe the initial fear followed by the onset of calm to be further followed by sheer enjoyment and a desire for more.

By all means go out in hybrid mode, if that's what you want to do I for one won't say you're wrong to do so. I do feel however that you're so close to reaching the point where with a little more work you could join those who go out and about enfemme. By all means do the baby steps, night time drive, fast food drive through, fuel the car, the short walk to the post box. All will build confidence and who knows one day......

[BlueTempest]

Hi Trysha,

I also try and blend a few women items into my every day wardrobe; I have never even tried to pass as a woman - I have short hair, usually a short beard, skinny but definitely a masculine frame. So this method rules out skirts, dresses and crop tops of course but skinny jeans and blouses under unisex jumpers still means I can enjoy the benefits of feeling feminine. To some I guess I may present as gay... which is a terrible thing to say, I know plenty of gay men who look like every other man but thats society creating a stereotype.

Whenever I think of gender fluidity I always think of Conchita, that Eurovision entry of a man wearing a dress, making no effort to pass but instead embracing both genders simultaneously. A few weeks ago I asked a similar question about the topic: and it was interesting to realise its the distinction between the genders that is the excitement of crossdressing so gender neutral clothing is maybe a bit... boring. As I stated in that thread, for me I have no desire to 'go the full distance' and transition so exploring womans clothing is always going to be limited for me but having that bit of grey area in the middle is what I take advantage of; black leggings with ladies trainers? no problem!

[Trysha]

Thanks for all your nice replies. I will work on your suggestions.

[Majella St Gerard]

You do you, but from experience I'd have to say that that style attracts a lot of attention.

[Tracii G]

I have done that for a good 11 years and its just normal now.
Nobody cares if you mix your clothing between male and female if that is what you want to do.
I'm not into skirts and dresses in my 50/50 mode but I will wear them if I am dressed 100% female.
Not one to wear a dress or skirt in what would be my more male mode because doing things for shock value just is not my thing.

[Stephanie47]

"I am a little disappointed when the cashier calls me sir when I check out."

Don't you think the average cashier is going to be confused if you present in a blend of male and female clothing, especially if your physical features are obviously masculine? If you feel that is you, then do it.

[JeanTG]

^^^This.

That's why I don't blend male and female. I can get dolled up enough to be fairly frequently called "ma'am", but if I do anything to dilute my femininity, all bets are off.

I am working on a more casual look because women don't always go around in skirts and dresses when going to the hardware store or buying groceries, but even then I am careful to wear only feminine things (jeans, tops), and accessorize. Plus wig and makeup. I haven't yet gone out "casual" because I'm still working on the look, but eventually I'll have to as I am on the cusp of decision whether to stop crossdressing... as a man and going full-time female, because it sounds like "DADT" in my case will become Divide Assets Divorce Trans-spouse.

Let's face it girls, for us to be called "ma'am" requires a fair bit of work and a feminine presentation.

[skirt_guy]

I do it daily. I now own more female jeans then male jeans and wear them pretty much every day. I have two pair of women’s booties and one pair of women’s boots, all of which clearly have feminine heels, that I wear out on a regular basis. I wear panties on a daily basis, I think the only thing that isn’t regularly female is my shirt. That is kind of hard to pass off in male mode, however I do have one or two that may work that I have not tried yet. As far as being noticed, I’ve had several women notice my boots, and recently had a lady on two occasions in the same store come by and simply stare at my boots. Other than that I’ve really not had any reaction at all. I do not wear a bra without forms so when presenting in male mode this would be completely contrary had I done that. I would not mind wearing a bra without forms but have yet to venture out to do that. Bottom line is I think if you keep everything close to the metal as far as neutral colors patterns etc., nobody’s really going to notice or care.

[Tracii G]

What do you expect the cashier to call you?
You are a male wearing a mix of male and female clothes right?

[Cheryl T]

I always blend my things together. Not much choice anymore since all my jeans are womens, most of my shoes too.
Depending on what I'm doing and where I'm going I'll even add a little mascara and do my brows a bit before I go out.
My nails always have clear polish at least, my ears have been double pierced for nearly 20 years and of course a touch of lip gloss helps.

[JessicasRabbit]

For the past couple of years, my nails have been painted all different colors quite regularly. All comments have always been positive compliments; especially to one of my regular colors.
In my daily wear, I have incorporated pink slowly and almost wear it daily now; especially hoodies. At first, it was, "On Wednesdays, we wear pink." It just kind of took off.
My ears are both pierced. I wear a variety of small to medium hoops en drab.

[Bea_]

the link expresses how I'd see my public presentation developing were I inclined to face the drama. The consideration of my family's feelings would keep me from following through with any of it. I have and like a beard. I also have a neanderthal unibrow to which I've always been attached. The wife loves the beard and brow.

https://www.modemuth.de/d/intro.htm

[lingerieLiz]

Because as I grew older I looked more masculine I gave up trying to look like a woman. I do dress in women's clothes full time except for rare occasions. I wear jeans, tops, blouses and of course panties and bras. My t-shirts are women's except for a few trophy been their shirts. Can people figure out that I'm wearing women's clothes? Yes! It gets my back rubbed by women. lol. I own it and have shopped with a lot of women when I purchased women's clothes.

[BTWimRobin]

I've been going out on occasion in hybrid mode as well. Women's jeans, guy tops, panties and a cami. My nails are long, for a guy, and well manicured. I would like to add a nude polish the next time I go out.

[tifftg]

Trysha,

Thanks for starting this thread and appreciate all the insights. I am 65 and usually either dress fully or not at all. I am finding myself wanting to drift to a more feminine style at times when I go out. I put on some skinny jeans yesterday to drop off and then shop at Goodwill. Toe in the water.

[Asew]

I see myself as non-binary. For me this means picking and choosing the male aspects and female aspects I like. For example my appearance today has male aspects (Hawaiian red men's shirt, boxers, red men's flip flops, 3 days of stubble growth, no boobs) and female aspect (maxi jean skirt, bracelet, painted toenails, long hair). This is kind of my typical look for outings, usually a t-shirt instead of a button up if just staying at home. Sometimes I do male mode per the wife, and other times I go more femme such as a girls night out with out CDs.

As such, I don't care if I am maam'ed or sir'ed, just as long as they don't seem rude about it. I know having both aspects can be confusing to strangers so understanding is the best policy.

[Trysha]

I always know that unless I put the effort in I will always be seen as a man, but not being called Mam at the checkout counter just gave
me a deep longing to hear those words. I found it interesting that being a biological man I desired so much to be acknowledged as a woman.
I guess I better learn to live with that or work on my presentation alot more.

[michelle1980]

I guess I'm a M.I.A.D as well.

I have no interest in bras, hair, make-up, etc.

I've always wanted to mix skirts/tights with sweaters in guy mode.

I've been able to find a lot of inspiration on fashion blogs and pinterest. I don't know the rules for posting links so Ill err on the side of caution and not.

Maybe one day Ill find the courage.

[Tracy Irving]

I may wear woman's jeans, and a male T shirt


Don't you think the average cashier is going to be confused if you present in a blend of male and female clothing

I hope you aren't implying that a man (pretending to be a woman by) hiding his features behind makeup, a wig, women's clothing and other accessories is going to be less confusing to a cashier than seeing what is obviously a man in what might look like a pair of women's jeans. I give the general public way more credit than that.

I regularly wear any combination of women's shoes, socks, sweat pants or blue jeans and shirts that are, to the casual observer, virtually identical to their male counterpart. Not one person has EVER confused me with a woman.

[Micki_Finn]

Well, my thoughts are this: do whatever makes you happy. Blending men?s and women?s clothing is bad fashion, but most of the women here aren?t too concerned about that so if that?s you, go for it.

The main problem with trying to combine is that they are made for two different body types, so if you pad out, your guy clothes will fit funny and if you don?t, your women?s clothes will fit funny.

- - - Updated - - -


I hope you aren't implying that a man (pretending to be a woman by) hiding his features behind makeup, a wig, women's clothing and other accessories is going to be less confusing to a cashier than seeing what is obviously a man in what might look like a pair of women's jeans. I give the general public way more credit than that.

I regularly wear any combination of women's shoes, socks, sweat pants or blue jeans and shirts that are, to the casual observer, virtually identical to their male counterpart. Not one person has EVER confused me with a woman.

She was specifically referring to being misgendered by the clerk (see the quote) and she is 100% correct. If you dress half and half, you aren?t allowed to be disappointed when someone flips a coin and comes up with the wrong answer.

By your own telling, you are wearing 100% women?s clothes (even if they are ?guy? styles) so it?s really not comparable to wearing half and half. You may think they?re indistinguishable from men?s versions, but they?re not.

[Tracy Irving]

I always figure that the readers my writings are just as smart (if not smarter) as me. So, if I can figure this stuff out...

Micki_Finn,
Trysha wrote of many things. One of which you brought up to me in your first paragraph. As I did not comment on that sentence, I will ignore yours.

I never wrote that I only wear 100% women's clothing. What I did write is that I wear any combination of women's clothing. That could be just sock or socks and shoes or shoes, jeans and a shirt or any other combination, including half and half.

I also never wrote that the women's clothing I wear is indistinguishable from men's versions. I did write that a casual observer would see something virtually (but not completely) identical to a male version.

I hope this clears things up for you.

[Brenn]

I do it all the time. I wear women's jeans, shorts and capris but usually with men's shirts. I wear ballet flats whenever I can, but other types of women's shoes as well including women's athletic shoes and Keds. It is just more comfortable.
309938

[dallasmann]

All my winter boots are men's. All my running shoes are women's. I do like many women's boot styles, but have never felt like buying any. My gym clothes are an interesting mix, both styles and colors.

[Rhonda Jean]

The older I get, the less I fully crossdress. It takes more effort than ever, and more and more it's just not worth it. Still do it. Always will. It's just not what it used to be.

I've been chided on here for my typical nail polish, purse, leggings presentation which for me is frequent. This is a crossdressing board, and this kind of presentation isn't crossdressing in the conventional sense. Full-on crossdressing attracts LESS attention. I used to think that my semi dressing mode just got me by until I was able to fully dress, but that's not really the case. I live alone, and I have plenty of time when all options are open. I never dress to stay home. Sometimes it's exactly what I want to do, to wear feminine things as a male. Motivations? Labels? Analysis? It doesn't really matter. It's what I want to do, and nothing else really matters. "Sir" is pretty rare. Around here I get more "sweetie" or "honey". Suitable in-betweens to me.

[Stephanie47]

I hope you aren't implying that a man (pretending to be a woman by) hiding his features behind makeup, a wig, women's clothing and other accessories is going to be less confusing to a cashier than seeing what is obviously a man in what might look like a pair of women's jeans. I give the general public way more credit than that.

Yes, I think it is going to be a lot more confusing otherwise I wouldn't have said it. MtF crossdressers I have encountered seem to want to present as a woman. The few transwomen and men I have encountered/met seem to be trying to wear the clothing they identify with. I haven't known anyone who is mixing things up. I'd wonder what they are trying to identify with.

[Rhonda Jean]

Why do they (I) have to be identifying with (as) anything? I just happen to love wearing nail polish, etc., etc..

We tend to descend into "my way is the right way" around here. I guess everybody does, actually. I'm guilty of it, but trying to get better.

[Tracy Irving]

Yes, I think it is going to be a lot more confusing

If seeing a man in nondescript women's jeans is more confusing than scratching your head trying to figure out if you are looking at a man or a woman then we have reached an impasse.

I just want everyone to find their own happiness.

[Asew]

All my winter boots are men's. All my running shoes are women's. I do like many women's boot styles, but have never felt like buying any. My gym clothes are an interesting mix, both styles and colors.

I am the opposite. All but one of my running shoes are men's since women's running shoes don't fit quite right (granted most men's running shoes don't fit right either but usually can find a pair or two even if ugly that fit well). And I have one pair of men's tall rubber boots (for taking the dogs out in snow and rain) and the rest of my boots are women's booties and one pair of taller women's boots.

[Rochal Tukque]

Hi Trisha, my daily wear is a maxi skirt matching shelf bra camisole with what I have no extra augmentation fleece tights and a long sleeve male shirt and walking shoes. No makeup natural hair. Totally not male or female. Reason being it?s comfortable. No has ever said much of anything. I go everywhere like that. Nobody seems to have the time to care. The women in town have been very accepting. Non binary for sure. Probably considered to be totally tacky by some of the girls. LOL

[Jackiemtv]

I say do what makes you happy. Only you know what that is, so go for it.

[Ozark]

I present as Iowa farm wife. Chic elastic waist jeans, vanity fair panties, campshirt... tennis shoes.
LOL

[ellbee]

There are a million & one ways to do the whole blending thing of men's-with-women's-clothing & what-not.


So many variables, too... Your age, body-type, type of activity/outing, mood, weather, time of day/night/week, type of crowd, psychological comfort/confidence, etc.


And yes, it can be pulled off! When done right, of course.

But there is no one "right" way, per se. Can really run the full gamut, with all kinds of eye-pleasing combinations.


I've done it plenty of times in plenty of ways in plenty of places over the decades. And I'm sure many here can say the same.


Want to turn every head within a 100-foot radius? That can be done! :heehee:

Want to totally fly under the radar? That's possible, too.

Want only some (namely, GG's) to notice? Hint: Shoes. ;)


Of course, this is all in guy-mode. Whenever I do this, there's no mistaking that I want to be viewed & treated as a guy.

What *kind* of guy that may be, however, is in the eye of the beholder. I personally don't care all that much, honestly... People can think whatever they want, really. And yes, sometimes they *will* treat you differently because of it -- whether good, bad, or just... different.


However, if I want to be viewed/treated as a GG? Then yeah, I'm going to do whatever is possible, to try to make that happen. Luckily, that's not really my thing much, these days.


Anyway, this really shouldn't be a big deal. Do you. And try to occasionally step out of your comfort zone & experiment a bit. :)

[JoannaCD]

In winter it's easy to be a fully cross dressed man. My "uniform" is a cableknit turtleneck sweater ( various colors), stretchy skinny jeans and Chelsea boots, all women's. I live in the suburbs so that's it for there. Actually it's a unisex look leaning to the femme. It's just that there aren't any other men, or women in the super market dressed similarly. If I go into Midtown and want to push androgyny I might add some mascara, lip gloss and small clip on hoops. Why do I do it? It's fun and I like the look.

[tmonsivais]

I wear women attire on a daily basis, panties all year round. However, I wear women's skinny jeans all the time (love the elastane) put on lip gloss, lipstick which looks similar to my lip color. I sometimes will shade my brows in but all in male mode. I also wear women's leggings for the gym, women's gym shorts, both men or women gym shoes, and shirts but again all in guy mode and not trying to pass or identify as a female. I also wear my Tieks (ballet flats) with jeans in guy mode. the only time I want to pass is when I am all dolled up with makeup and wig.

[Angela Marie]

I often wear jean leggings when out and about, and I have flown wearing leggings. Never done lipstick, eye shadow, etc. But there is always a first time. At this point in my life my presentation is my business and if people don't like seeing my feminine side i'm sorry.

[Brenn]

I wear women attire on a daily basis, panties all year round. However, I wear women's skinny jeans all the time (love the elastane) put on lip gloss, lipstick which looks similar to my lip color. I sometimes will shade my brows in but all in male mode. I also wear women's leggings for the gym, women's gym shorts, both men or women gym shoes, and shirts but again all in guy mode and not trying to pass or identify as a female. I also wear my Tieks (ballet flats) with jeans in guy mode. the only time I want to pass is when I am all dolled up with makeup and wig.

I wear my Tieks in guy mode all the time. In fact, there is a fairly large group of guys that wear Tieks in the Tieks Facebook group.

[jacques]

hello Trysha,
yes, I have realized I can dress 100% woman (usually in private) or 100% man (but don't do that often) or any combination in between. Most people cannot tell the different between a men's or women's tee-shirt for example...
luv J

[lingerieLiz]

I find it interesting that we are referred to as a man in a dress if we wear women's clothes even if not wearing a dress. I wear women's clothes 95% of the time. Most of it is jeans, blouses/tops, and women's shoes or booties. I also wear bras and panties. It doesn't take a lot of looking to see I'm dressed as a woman. All the women in our subdivision wear the same thing with few exceptions. I used to travel a lot and wore the same. No one ever said anything even when I wore a shear blouse that revealed my lace bra or camisole. I've had some interesting discussion with some of the women who liked my blouses.

[candice.aihara]

Blend whatever makes you feel great. You are dressing for yourself, foremost, and not necessarily for others.

[Krisi]

I am either Homer or Krisi. There is no "Kromer". If you dress as a man, you will attract no attention. If you dress as a woman (and do it correctly), you will attract little or no attention. If you dress as something in between, you will look odd and attract a lot of attention.

You can dress however you want as long as certain parts are covered, there are no legal issues, but be aware that you will attract attention if you dress differently from those around you and be prepared to deal with that attention.

[Leelou]

Yeah, I do this often. I wear women's jeans and booties with 3# heels, ear rings, bracelets, etc. It's a lot of fun! Most people don't even notice, but some women do and will give me a little smile. It's fun being over 6 foot tall with the heels!

[Jemima Stephens]

Since I have to dress in secret I have not been out 'en femme' for over 30 years, but if I am working at home and have to pop out to the shops for something I will dress in my female underwear, bra, jeans and top with my male coat over the top.

Most people don't notice/care but there is a lovely frisson of excitement knowing you are completely dressed in public whilst still presenting as male (I have a beard!)

I will often take my coat off in the car, so I am sure some people might notice a thin ladies top with a bra underneath if sat next to me in a traffic jam

[JenniferMBlack]

Often times I will wear a skirt and sometimes heals with a mans shirt and otherwise look male. This is my gender nonconforming portion. In reality I find mens shirts more comfortable and when going for strictly comfort I cant beat a skirt and mens shirt.

[Manna]

Yes you can combine the male and female dressing styles, because nowadays everyone can try the mix and match, DIY techniques in clothing industry also and result will definitely come awesome. You try denim female skirt with male white shirt with high heels and some accessories. You look amazing.

[Mark B]

I have been working now in my office several years mixing both female and male clothes. 95% of the time I'm in a pencil skirt and 4" stiletto heels (occasionally 5"). I wear men's shirts, button down dress shirts or polos during the winter and summer. Only exception is when I wear women's sleeveless polos. I choose to wear men's underwear as I find panties just do not hold everything in place. I have found some very comfortable men's thong underwear I that prefer. When out in public like airports and such I do get a fair amount of attention, but a very little of it is negative. When I walk thru an airport or a train station, or even in a mall, I always do it with confidence. I don't show that I'm afraid of being ridiculed and/or whistled at. Showing weakness invites attacks. I also walk looking forward straight ahead almost forcing people to make eye contact. Typically the result is a small smile.

I also am the head coach for an American football team here in Germany. I don't wear skirts and heels there. Not practical. Although all my players (age under 19) and staff know what I wear most of the times when not at practice or games.

[Pumped]

What do you expect the cashier to call you?
You are a male wearing a mix of male and female clothes right?

I believe most people get confused when they see a man, dressed as a woman, that doesn't pass. Obviously a man, but the clothing says otherwise. He or she??

[Amandagurl63]

I wear all fem cloths from the waist down including shoes . I am just comfortable that way I work out 6 days a week I am pretty solid 6?1? 235 I don?t care what others think my wife is very supportive. Just be yourself and be happy

[Andy1087]

It is good to hear how many of you wear women's booties with heels in guy mode with no real issues. I have thought about wearing the same style of booties but never had as I figured the sound of the heels on a floor would make other's notice my booties.

Andy

[Patience]

I underdress and sometimes even wear my boobs in male mode, but that is adding fem traits to my male presentation. Wearing pants for women in male mode does not count.

And depending on where you go, it is not strictly necessary to pass as a female when going out en femme. All you need to do is to not look obviously male. Until one does that, one will invariably find oneself addressed as an average male.

[Manna]

Yahh Me also try the new new clothing style and add DIY things, also add the male and female combination of dressing. I get the compliment when i try something mix and match in dress.

[Meg West]

Does a flannel shirt over a lacy camisole count as mixing gender styles.

[Tamroi]

I wear a beard and dress or skirt all the time. I don't want to look like I want to pass.
Of course I'd love to be a gorgeous lesbian but ...

[Heather2die4]

Hi Trysha,
Up until now, I have been either in all femme or all male mode. No mixing. See also, the post "Dressing femme at the gym." Reading some posts here, especially of people wearing yoga pants, girls tops, and even painted toe nails (wow) to the gym while in male mode, it occurred that my male identity is not fully owning my crossdressing. I mean, if I get clocked, I'm just an anonymous guy in a dress, wig, and heels. It can't be traced back to my male identity. I have decided to tell the truth and own it completely. I'm out to my neighbors and family but not the general public and that is going to change. Once the lockdown is lifted, I will begin wearing slinky spandex to yoga class and presenting as my male self - a known entity- who likes to wear women's clothes. No more hiding behind a wig and anonymity. It's risky and I might get laughed at but I have not been fully honest and that needs to stop. For now though, I'm en femme almost 24/7 and I LOVE it. So freeing and delicious. I'm going to take just a bit of that naughty girl with me when I go back to work. That should make the suit and tie at least bearable until I can get home and bring Miss Heather out to play.

XOXO