Pierced ears problems

[Jenny22]

Not to hijack Robin's thread, but it got me to thinkin' on a tangent. If you got your ears pierced, and it brought you major angst/problems from your family, how long did it take them to get over it? Did all? Lastly, what did YOU say or do to improve the relations with your family?
I'd love to get mine pierced!

[Joni T]

Answer: "Because I wanted to". Hey, it's your body, your ears. You don't have to answer to any one but yourself. If they don't like it, they don't have to look. And yes, my ears are pierced--not once, not twice, but thrice in each.
Jon

[Tracii G]

I can't believe I am reading this to be honest.
Tell them to get over themselves because you don't have to answer to them.
My oldest daughter made a comment on a pic when she noticed my ears were pierced.
Its was a snarky comment as usual from her.
My answer was yours are pierced aren't they? Her: Yes.
I didn't tell you you couldn't do it did I? Her: No
In fact I was the one that took you to get yours done when you were a child.Her: Well yeah.
So you tell me what is wrong with me piercing mine? Her : Well nothing I guess.

[Dutchess]

I have to second what Joni said and Tracii .
OP and Joni live one county south of me . I am 57 my youngest daughter lives/works/parties in WeHo and is 18 . I would say there is nary a fellow , lady or anyone in between with no pierced ears anymore at least between our age range and certainly on either side .
Not only once but twice and thrice is very common as Joni was saying . This has gone on for many years so because you want to is fine . Just about everyone, has that adornment now, it's not scandalous in the least where we are . In any place really , my 34 yr old truck driver son in Texas has had both pierced or years - because he wants too and has worn crazy huge real diamonds in each ear for at least the last decade , his wife loves it .

It has not been a chick thing for many decades .

[Tracii G]

Jenny pro football and pro basketball players have them.
I was a truck driver for over 40 years and pierced ears were common place for as long as I can remember.
The only one making a big deal out of it is you but I am sure you don't want to hear that.
Its your choice so do it if you want or don't do it and complain to yourself you didn't have the guts to do it.

[JoanneNY]

Jenny, I had mine done 6 weeks ago and so far no one has noticed or commented but these were peeps in TRW. Family and friends will see during the
spring Holidays but really, I don't give a d***. It's my body and my ears, end of story. At 82 I don't think I need to hear any flak from anyone.

[Robertacd]

My question is: What family?

If it's your spouse then I would say you might want to clear it with them first. After all marriage is a partnership.

If it's other family members like parents and siblings, then I am with everyone else and say tell them it's your decision if they don't like it, too bad.

[Star01]

I had mine pierced nearly 20 years ago and attributed that and he wing my hair out as a last gasp as an old hippie which is how I presented at that time. Now as a balding old person in my late 60's I only wear earrings when I dress. Once the holes heal they'll hardly be noticable and if you decide not to wear earrings it will be a non issue. I would concur with others who have stated how common it is for men to get their ears pierced. I will admit that if I was to do it now they may give me a hard time about being too old now.

[JoanneNY]

Roberta, you are right. The only one that mattered and who I would never ask was my wife, Unfortunatly, I lost her to the big "C" twelve years ago. The rest of the clan can think whatever.

[Pumped]

I agree with the rest, I don't see it as an issue. Check with your wife first, the rest can bug off. If any of the rest of them got a piercing or a tattoo would they check with you first?

Reach for you zipper and offer to show them your other piercing if they push it!:eek:

[Christie ann]

Can I just give Tracii G’s comment a “like”

[Devi SM]

This is a funny thread.
I'm living full time for around a year now and I haven't pierced mine. I will eventually do it but it's not a rush.
So far I noticed nobody answer one of her questions, if you decide to reverse? I understand that if you pierce your ears, you need to keep the earrings there for at least 6 weeks without remove them, if you do the holes will close.
Some one answer, if you keep that time of 6 weeks, when you not wear an earring the hole will not be noticeable.

Go do it!

Devi

[Marianne S]

Jenny, I'll say some of the same things to you that I said on Robin's thread. I'm in unanimous agreement with everyone else who responded here so far.

This is the twenty-first century, after all, and men can do some things today that they couldn't do last century without inviting unwelcome comment. I pierced my ears nearly forty years ago, but I was very discreet about it. I did it myself in the bathroom, running my earlobes through with a safety pin, sterilizing everything with a splash of rubbing alcohol. I had a pair of studs I wore for a few days, but when I had to go back to work and needed to keep those holes open for a time while they healed, I clipped off two short lengths of a paper clip, stuck those in my ears where they wouldn't protrude, and covered the tips with a little makeup so they wouldn't show!

Not very hygienic, you might say, but it worked. Nobody noticed. Oh, the lengths I went to in those days!

I did have one woman friend back then who noticed my ears were pierced and remarked on it. What's more, I did feel safe enough to hint to her that there was a reason for it--though the conversation never went any further. But nobody else ever seemed to notice, as long as I wasn't wearing earrings, so what's the big deal?

Today it's so different. Scads of men have pierced ears, amd nobody thinks anything of it.

I don't wear anything outrageous in guy mode, but even if I'm dressed up in a suit and tie for a formal event, nobody says a darn thing if I've got some little silver stars in my ears. It's normal for many guys today. Don't forget that traditionally, guys who wore earrings were not necessarily "gay." They were often pirates! They were men of daring, who were different for the sake of being different! I went to a neighbor's "pirate-themed" birthday party for his little son, and he handed out clip-on gold earrings for people to wear. Never mind, I had my own--and people congratulated me on their authenticity! I'm not a MIAD, but one time just for the heck of it I went to the grocery store, in guy mode--all except for a pair of big dangly elaborate earrings--and nobody stared or said a thing there either! Some guys wear weird things in their ears today, so you can do what you like!

Whose opinion are you worried about? I want to echo two things people have said here that I didn't mention on Robin's thread. First of all, as Star01 pointed out, who the heck is going to notice that your ears are pierced if you're not wearing earrings at the time? Virtually nobody ever noticed mine, so what's the big deal?

Secondly, as "williewallie" said, "It's my body and my ears," and more to the point, as "Pumped" said, "If any of them" [your family] "got a piercing or a tattoo would they check with you first?"

This is an important issue of principle. Females do all kinds of things to their bodies, and I don't see many of them asking "men's permission"--or anyone's "permission"--to do so! Not just piercings in all kinds of weird places, but tattoos as well, as "Pumped" mentioned. Unlike earrings, tattoos are not something you can just "take off" at the end of the day! And frankly, in my personal opinion, tattoos on women are ugly. Too masculine. To me they're a turnoff. Mind you, I don't like to see men's necks tattooed either, so I'm not entirely sexist about this. And of course my prejudices are entirely my own. If women must have tattoos, I think they should be small, discreet, and pretty, but I see some women covered in them. To me this current fad seems downright degenerate, a primitive reversion to barbarism, as it were.

But again, my reason for saying this is that these females do not go around asking people's permission to despoil their bodies this way. So it's a HUGE matter of principle that extends to the whole world of crossdressing. Who the hell said females can wear whatever they like, or appear however they like, where males have no such right? A woman can wear all kinds of male clothing without the slightest remark, but let a man put on a skirt, and we know what many people will say or think!

I really ought to start a different thread on that topic when I get around to it, because I've heard a lot of illogical, upside-down rubbish talked about the supposed reasons for this difference. But the question so sensibly posed by "Pumped" remains the same. If a bunch of women can cover themselves in permanent blue ink without asking anyone's "permission," why the heck should anyone object to a man making two tiny holes in his ears that nobody is going to notice anyway? If they don't like it, they know what they can do, Jenny!

[Krea]

Check with your wife first, the rest can bug off. If any of the rest of them got a piercing or a tattoo would they check with you first?

Nicely put.:thumbsup:
Ultimately, if you live your life doing what others expect, you may not get to do the things you want.

To keep to the opening post, i have just had my ears pierced, but only my wife has seen them so far, so i still have the family reaction to come when i see them later in the year.
My father will most likely be appalled when he sees my earrings, but i think the best approach will be to simply say "i wanted to do it" and leave him to grumble for a while. Eventually he will get over it and let the matter drop....

[DAVIDA]

I pierced my ears myself with the earrings I wanted to wear back in 1985.
Back then, it wasn't a common thing.
I just pushed them through.:eek:
I did it three times in each ear, but let the third hole close.
Nobody, OK, maybe Jack Daniels, had anything to do with it but ME.:heehee:
I have never asked permission from anyone to do much of anything, unless it would contradict what my wife wanted or didn't.
That is just called respect.
No one has ever said anything negative about it.
People who know me also know that they can keep their negative comments, if they have them, to themselves.
Live your life how YOU want to live it and those who care about you will be just fine with it.
Life isn't forever, so do what makes you happy and try not to worry about how others want you to be.

[mbmeen12]

I cant wait to retire then I am getting mine done....Be polite and respectful...IF they love you then acceptance...

[colleen ps]

Definitely the way to go these days. Piercings are pretty much the norm for men now. Funny part of when i had mine done was my worries about what my son would say, i needn't have worried as, soon after he had his done. I was sporting just plain studs and he came home one day after his had healed and had small sparkly half hoops in. What was i worried about.

[Ressie]

My nephew's dad threw a fit when the boy got his done. Young men getting the left ear pierced wasn't uncommon during the 80s, but piercing the right symbolized that you're gay. That's why the dad threw a fit! Getting both ears pierced is equal to coming out of the closet to some people.

[Star01]

I remember that right vs left thing but that was decades ago. I'll defer to my son in law who is front man in a rock band and wears the type of earrings big as a nickle that widen the hole to that size. Not much anyone can say about my subtle little piercings.

I'm contemplating getting some more ink, something girly like a rose on the hip near the panty line. I'm not asking for permission, my wife has ink and wouldn't consult with me about tatts and piercings nor would I expect her to. And as the saying goes, sometimes it's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is asking for permission.

[JenniferMBlack]

I got mine pierced when I was 22, it wasn't even so much a CD thing for me but it didn't hurt the cause. Really the only person to say anything was my deeply religious everything is a sin father. Probably helped I was in and out as I was driveing a trick at the time but it was a one and done thing. Now the only time anyone says anything it is a compliment on the earrings I am wearing.

[Cheryl T]

Only 2 people ever commented on them.
My mother-in-law asked and I said I had always wanted to since college and a co-worker asked and I told her the same.
Friends never mentioned it even though mine are double pierced.
Oh and someone I interacted with asked me once about it and when I told him that my studs were a birthday gift from my wife his comment was, "maybe I should get mine done again".
You never know...

[Majella St Gerard]

I got my left ear pierced when I was 19, not a word about it from family members, years later I got the right one pierced, again no one remarked about it. And I wouldn't have cared if they did. My body, my life, my choice.
In this day and age I can't believe we still have this conversation about men with earrings.

[Bea_]

A decade before I ever considered women's clothes to be an option, my 15 year old son asked if he could pierce his ears. My smart@$$ remark was "Sure, as long as I get to do it, otherwise he'd have to wait until he was 18". I really didn't care, but the wife DOES NOT LIKE earrings on men and I just figured it would be better for him to wait and think about it a little longer. He turned 18 and got his ears pierced and promptly let the holes grow closed and never looked back as far as I know. It was totally his business once he was an adult.

I never really considered pierced ears for myself since the wife doesn't like them on men. Now, after 10 or so years in various women's clothes, I think I might like them, but still want to give my wife a sense that she has SOME control over the issue of what I wear. If it weren't for her objection, I might go get them done today... I really don't care what others think, except maybe my adult kids, but earrings isn't something that I'd give up for them, if I truly wanted them.

As far as anyone else is concerned, give them the Morgan Freeman answer. He said that he wore them because sailors wore them so that there'd be enough to bury them if they died in a foreign land... It's more a colorful story than a practical fact, but hey...

[Marianne S]

Young men getting the left ear pierced wasn't uncommon during the 80s, but piercing the right symbolized that you're gay.

Do you know, that's really funny! I always understood it was the other way round! That may be my mistake of course, but it sure makes for confusion. I remember remarking to a woman one time my understanding that if a guy had his right ear pierced he was straight, but if his left ear was pierced he was gay. We both agreed on the logical corollary that if he had both ears pierced, he must be bisexual! :D

[Jenny22]

Wow! Thanks ladies for all of the input! I asked, because my oldest son, a real redneck type and all macho male would give me hell in spades if I did it. We've had some other challenges in the past that he still hasn't forgotten. I've felt that I didn't want to create another one that I know he would dwell on and smirk about. I will consider all that all of you advised and suggested.
PS.. he does NOT know that I'm TG, and won't until after I die!

[Georgia K]

I use to have over twenty facial and ear piercings and never had negative comments . its no big deal just do it I got my first at 14

[April Rose]

We had a customer who used to come in to a store I was working at who had those expander rings in his earlobes that left a hole large enough to pass a dime through. I don't remember any of my coworkers ever commenting on it, and they were a pretty opinionated lot.

[Wendy me]

I got one hole periced everyone lost their minds ... so I did the right thing now I have six periceings three on each side soon adding two more they stopped their little meltdown....

[Barbara Jo]

First off...it is your life and you ears so, have a bit of confidence. Fact is, people have respect for those who have confidence in themselves .
Consider that those who you are afraid of criticizing you could not care less about what you think of them.

I had my ears pierced over 20 years ago when I was in my early 60s and worked in a blue collar environment.

The only two comments that got was at work and neither one was critical .
My best friend at wok just asked if it hurt at all ... I explained to him that it did not hurt in the least.
The second comment one was from a gal from the Philippines who playfully asked if I had anything else priced that she perhaps could not see..

So, own your life and you ears.... and get them pierced.
You're obviously never going to transition but, the very least you can do for yourself is pierce you ears..
Wearing clip on earrings do hurt.... for one thing. :)

[southerngirl]

I just got my ears pierced about 2 months ago. I went to work a few days later. Of course a few people asked me what was up with the earrings. I owned it and said that I was just doing something for a change. I acted non chalant and everyone took it in stride. No one made a negative comment and I have not been treated any different. In fact, a few people have told me that the earrings have grown on them and that they think they actually look good on me, which I agree.

[Vicky_Scot]

Spot on Traci x

[shortskirt87]

Nobody cared or really said anything. My friends wife was the only one to say anything, and it was “have you always ha pierced ears?”. When I got my nose done, my mom thought it was cute lol. Do what you want!

[Glenda58]

Years ago when I did mine only men where starting to wear them. So when my family asked why I told them someone bet me $50 to do it when I laughed at him. And another $50 to keep them for a month. At work I said my 12 year old niece wanted pierced ears but my sister won't pay for them. I said I would and took her she got scared . I said I would do it with her. 2 lies but I now have pierced ears and 2 dozen earings.

[Kelly Pearson]

I removed the sleeper from my right ear after a week which means i always have to fiddle around for a while some 20 years later to get an earring through.....like a few have said they are your ears and not many would care anyway

[Asew]

My wife asked me the other night why don't I pierce my ears. I have no desire for that. To me it is another hole for a source of infection. I am perfectly fine wearing clip on earrings to my monthly GNOs. And even those get hidden behind my hair if it is done so whats the point anyways. But so glad she was open to it apparently.

[JeanTG]

I had mine pierced March 4th. My wife knew, she knows I've entered transition, and we're trying to work out how to separate civilly until the virus crisis put everything on hold. We went to my oldest son's birthday party a few days after my ears were pierced and my wife was hassling me about "what are you going to say when our son asks you about it?". I shrugged and said "I dunno". We hadn't seen our son in two months as he was traveling. When he saw my ear studs, his reaction was "oh wow, cool pop!". No explanation necessary! Great party in a hip pizza place with some of the best pizza I ever had, but I digress. Some of his friends had the same reaction "oh wow you had your ears pierced, that's so cool!".

A few days later (I didn't want to spoil his birthday), I came out to him with my trans daughter present for support. His reaction blew me away: "I'm so proud of you two!" (meaning me and my daughter). He was overwhelmingly supportive!

In short: if you feel like piercing your ears, pierce your ears!!! It's quite painless in my experience. You do have to keep the studs in for 6 weeks to 3 months depending on the advice of the place that pierced them (mine says 3 months, and after that, you can change to earrings or other studs but you need to always have something in the holes for a full year... seems a lot, but it's advice I can take...)

Asew: I can say that pierced ears are way better than clip-ons. At the end of a day, my clip-ons would be torture. The actual piercing process, and subsequent healing process, hurt FAR less than clip-ons do after a couple of hours.

[Natalie5004]

At 64 I am finally considering it. Once we get out of lock down.