Only want to see the legs !!

[Teresa]

First thing this morning my sister in law rang to say she was shopping in town and was it OK to come and see my refurbished kitchen , It told her it wasn't a problem, just drop in when you've finshed your shopping and we'll have a coffee . Later that morning while we sat chatting and having a drink my phone rang , it was my wife reminding me to call and see the grandsons next week , she then asked what I was doing and told her I was having coffee with her sister . I asked if she wanted a word and they then had a conversation about my kitchen , between them they decided my SIL should send some pictures to her , I interrupted the conversation to ask jokingly if she wanted me in shots , there was then some giggling and the reply my wife gave was if I'm included I only want to see the legs , she knew I was wearing trousers because my outfit had been briefly mentioned .

My sister in law still surprises me , I thought she would be the last to accept me , it just proves how wrong you can be about people . I have to admit it felt like an odd situation I was comfortably chatting with my sister in law while she shared a conversation with my wife who has never seen me as Teresa .

[Helen_Highwater]

Teresa,

That just goes to show how we can be guilty of misjudging people. You think you know someone and then they go and surprise you. I must admit that the thought struck me that sisters being what they are, your Ex is using her sister as a spy, a proxy for her curiosity.

As for "I only want to see the legs". I'd have found it so tempting to go commando in a skirt and do handstands against the cooker!

[Teresa]

Helen,
I wasn't sure how happy my wife was when her sister first met me for coffee almost two years ago , it put me in a tricky situation for a while before she knew we had met . I don't think it was a spying exercise but more of a coincidence . No matter it has to be making our eventual meeting that much easier , if and when it happens .

Going commando against the cooker ! Really ! Lets face it she's seen it all before but it would put a different slant on a FB entry !

[Crissy 107]

Teresa, Maybe you married the wrong sister.

[Teresa]

Crissy,
40+ years to consider that option , she married a really great guy one week before us , besides she's two years older than me so I would have been her " Toy Boy !" but what that would make me now is an interesting question !

[docrobbysherry]

Considering many here use legs as their avatar pic? Your ex mite enjoy that feature on the site, at least, Teresa!:heehee:

[Teresa]

Sherry,
It's a non-starter I'm not trying to win her back and she's not impressed with my shaved legs but I am worried because she's impressed with my new kitchen .

[Leslie Langford]

Teresa, running with Helen's train of thought and given the relentless grief that your wife has given you all these years over your crossdressing, I would have suggested wearing the highest, sl*ttiest, BDSM-style stilettos that you could get your hands on for that "legs only" picture... ;) :eek: :D :devil:

[alwayshave]

Teresa, I'm glad your sister in law is accepting. It is true you can never be sure who is on your side.

[Teresa]

Leslie,
That's the difference between my wife and I , playing her games isn't what it's about for me , besides as my SIL was standing next to me taking the pictures I'm not sure if she would have gone a bundle on a skirt round my backside and heels reaching up to my armpits . If she eventually chooses to see me , I'd prefer to be a reasonable looking woman and not a tart because that is the image I feel she has of me . Saying that I still don't know what feedback she is getting from her sister and my daughter .

Jamie,
I still can't beleive she invited me to join her for coffee not long after my separation , she knew she was treading on thin ice becuse she would have to hide it from my wife . I'm so glad she did , it's obviously done no harm .

[Asew]

Very impressed that your SIL is on such good terms with you considering how your wife tries to poison everyone against you. That relationship is probably making her blood boil more than some tarty picture of legs anyways :)

[Teresa]

Asew,
I do wonder what is being said but it's now up to them to sort the problem out , of course my wife is also having a similar situation from my daughter . The most sensible thing for her to do is bite the bullet and meet me for coffee . All her problems are then solved she will know exactly what I look like and how to deal with her feelings , like most things in life the thought is often worse than the deed !

[Rogina B]

Teresa,What a game you continue to play ! Go see your Wife ! How hard is that???

[Teresa]

Rogina,
NO ! She has the problem , she knows where I am she can see me whenever she chooses , she knows that , why should I risk having the door slammed in my face ?

[GaleWarning]

You are so right, Teresa!
My ex-wife also owns the problem in our relationship, and although she is aware that I am ready and willing to mend fences, she is adamant that she is not interested.
Her loss. Her anguish.

[Devi SM]

40 years is what I have married.
Just when a teenager I found out that in a conflict between two parts there's ways some responsibility, big or small but both are in the game. That's said for any couple.in relationship, friends, parents and children, coworkers etc. In this way is easier to fix things if ateast one part see what it's fault was.
I know its not an easy task but in a marriage it helps a lot.
For the other hand Teresa, i don't know the details of your rupture and unfortunately here we receive just one side of the story that we know has two sides.
Thinking as a woman, some women have the reaction on say "what I did wrong to deserve this? That's the religious kind, other wives feel tricked, her husband cheats on them , other suffer for being the image of masculinity dissapear and adopt a weak shape as a woman, that's embarrassing.
All those are just examples of some strange reactions on wives.
The rest of the people that don't live with us is, as our children or other relatives is easier as you SIL.
Just my ideas.

Tha ka for those who read and understand my english.

Devi.

[MeshelleCD]

Considering many here use legs as their avatar pic? Your ex mite enjoy that feature on the site, at least, Teresa!:heehee:

Not to hijack this thread, but I agree with this comment. At this point I am only comfortable showing my legs in my avatar. Hopefully that changes with time.

[Teresa]

Devi,
I appreciate the thoughts that could go through our wive's heads , no she didn't deserve this but neither did most of us but we have to learn to live beyond those thoughts . I'm sure I'm like many here that tried to do what was expected of us as a husband and father , I console myself I did my best and my wife does accept that , she tries to understand the internal battle I fought and now she tells me she thinks I'm brave for living the life I've now chosen , in that context I'm not sure if she sees I traded for a weaker gender . I guess the mistake I am making now is showing I'm still prepared to appear in male mode when she asks me to help with the grandsons and other family gatherings .

While there are two sides to this situation as you rightly say but the bottom line is she lost control of me which she has admitted to and hates accepting that .

GaleWarning ,
I'm not convinced she doesn't want to try and mend fences , she's made it difficult for herself to do so but then I'm suspicious of her motives .

Meshelle,
Hiding now would be counterproductive , I would gain nothing to go into hiding , my choices are made and I intend to keep moving forward otherwise they will have won and where does that leave me ?