100% passing moment

[Ceera]

For the last month, virtually every day I have gone to our local mall, put on wireless headphones or ear buds, and done a mall-walking routine that has me doing 5 or more miles a day. It is working! Lost 12 pounds in the last month!

Well, I have become kind of a fixture there. One of 12-24 daily mall walkers there. Many of the shop attendants, food court workers and mall staff now know me as a daily visitor. And one guy on the mall staff has been watching me all month. So far, he had only spoken to me four times or so. Just light, friendly banter, like, “What songs do you listen to?”

But today... he approached me and asked, “Did you attend Churchill high school?” That is one of the Eugene schools.

I told him, “No, I went so high school in Portland.”

He replied, “Oh... you know, I keep looking at you and thinking I know you from somewhere. There was a girl I knew in high school. Her name was Karen. I thought you might be her?”

I smiled and said, “No, my name’s not Karen. I’m Ceera.”

He gave me his name, and chatted me up for a while longer, before getting back to his duties.

So... he 100% believed I could have been a girl he knew in high school! Can?t get a much clearer indication that even with watching me for a month, and talking to me several times, he was convinced I had been recognized female from birth!

[Devi SM]

That's an amazing experience Ceera. You know what they say, the practice makes the master. In our case, I wouldn't apply that said in the sense you're learning to be a woman. Instead of that, you were born to be a woman but the daily, weekly, monthly, yearly repetition you were a man tried to silent the real you that know, with freedom is fi doing expression and being natural, what you were meant to be.
When we are able to daily, weekly, monthly, yearly practice this reality, nobody can say you were a man because you never were one.
Congratulations! I'm behind you in my journey...

Devi

[docrobbysherry]

What did Lincoln say?

U can fool some of the people all of the time.
And, all of the people some of the time.
But, u can't fool all of the people all of the time!:battingeyelashes:

Passing is in the mind of the beholder!:heehee:

[xEvelyn]

That sounds like a lovely interaction Ceera. You must have your voice perfected!

[Helen_Highwater]

Ahh, the old, "You look like someone I went to school with" chatup line. Whether it was true or not he wanted to make your acquaintance so take that as a huge complement.

Valentine's day is coming up, romance in the air eh!

[Ceera]

The way I figure it, even if he was just using it as a pick up line, it still shows he believes I have been female all my life. Probably no romance with that guy, though likely some degree of friendship.

[Teresa]

Ceera,
Sometimes we are our own worse enemies , why do we have these doubts ? Nothing to do with fooling anyone , he read you as female that's great ,where's the problem ?

It happens on a regular basis now as I go out everyday , why shouldn't it , I could recall a story from most days where the interactions happen because they think I'm female , you have to live it to truly know how it feels , to some it is hard to believe .

[alwayshave]

Ceera, Congrats on the weight loss and totally passing.

[GracieRose]

If he's been watching you for the past month, it's not just a 100% passing moment. It's 100% passing...period.
Great to hear.

[Crissy 107]

Ceera, Good for you on losing the weight, getting some exercise, passing and making a new friend. I have a feeling you will continue with your mall walking. Nice confidence boost!

[Ceera]

Update: So it is a week later, and I got a chance to talk to that guy again. We can't talk all that often, or for all that long, because he is supposed to be doing his job, not chatting up girls who are mall customers. In fact, the first time I saw him today, he waved me off covertly and whispered that his supervisor was watching him... So I came back later, when that supervisor was not there.

This time, I asked him, "I have to ask... did you really think I might be that girl Karen, who you remembered from high school? Were you seriously hoping I was her?"

He kind of puffed up a bit and replied, slightly indignantly, "Why would I lie about a thing like that? Of course I did!"

I said, "Well, you might have been using it as a pick up line... And it did get me talking to you."

Then he grinned and said, "If I was going to try a 'pick up line' with you, it would be more like, 'I think you are a very attractive woman, and I was wondering if you would go out for coffee with me some time, so we could get to know each other better.' Nothing inappropriate. Just straightforward and direct. I don't play games with people."

"Fair enough, and that would be quite acceptable," I said. "Karen must have made quite an impression on you, for you to hope you were seeing her again."

"She was my best friend," he answered. "We did all sorts of fun stuff together, like cutting class to play cards with other friends... typical kids stuff. But I lost track of her, six years ago."

Wow... not just a vaguely remembered girl, but a 'best friend'. A girl he knew very well! I replied, "Then I am doubly flattered that you mistook me for her, and hoped I was her. Thank you."

We got interrupted briefly as his radio alerted him to a task he needed to go do, and he replied that he would be there momentarily.

"Just one more thing," I added. "I don't play games with people either. So there is something I feel I should tell you. Something you don't seem to have realized, and which may not even have occurred to you as a possibility. You see... I couldn't have been any girl you knew in high school, because, when we were both in high school... I was not a girl. I am transgender."

The dear man did not even blink, and he replied, without missing a beat, "And this is supposed to impact me how?" while slightly smiling at me.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you realized I was male back then," I said. "I am definitely female now, yes. But I was not a girl, back when we were in high school. Like I said, I don't play games either."

He smiled more and said, "Look. My parents raised me right. They taught me that even when people are different... where it really matters, we're all the same. I'm fine with that. You are who you are now."

"Well thank you," I said. "Yes, what matters is here, and here, isn't it?" pointing to my head and heart. "Well, I won't keep you longer, Get back to your duties."

He nodded and headed off. But I think we'll be talking again soon, as friends. Maybe over coffee?

[Aelyn]

Thank you for sharing!! This makes me so happy especially knowing the kindness that is out there in the world. It makes me feel so much better about being myself out of the house. I?m so happy you had this amazing experience!

[Crissy 107]

Ceera, Nice update, I like that you are getting some exercise in and meeting people. :)

[BTWimRobin]

Hi Ceera,

OMG! What a wonderful story. Congrats on the weight loss. It sounds like your new friend is quite accepting. How cool is that? Thank you for sharing.

[Sallee]

cool what an affirmation of passinf completely

[MeshelleCD]

F

But today... he approached me and asked, “Did you attend Churchill high school?”


The old "Did you attend...." pick up line. Glad to see that is still in use. Having him mistake you for a GG must have been a wonderful feeling.

[jessica79]

Nice, that's a nice confidence booster.

[sophia62]

what a lovely interaction for you and congrats on the wait loss x

[Erin_T]

Awesome story and congrats!

[Georgia K]

Can?t wait to hear about your next encounter

[Rachel05]

That is so nice, what a lovely uplifting day that must have been for you, as someone who has not yet dared to venture out other than under dressed, I would love to be in your shoes, so nice to hear your story

[Lana Mae]

Thanks for sharing, Ceera! What a wonderful story! Great that you both are keeping it honest! Hugs Lana Mae

[Stephanie47]

I concur your story is a wonderful story. There is no deceit or misrepresntation. You and your friend have laid the cars on the table. Both know what they may be getting into. Hope your friendship deepens.

[Ceera]

Update: about 3.5 weeks later...

Well, not a lot has changed. Still working out at the mall every day, and at this point I am now down 21 pounds from the start of the year! And it really shows. I’ve gone from wearing size 18-20 tops down to size 14, and even have a couple of size 10-12 tops that fit me quite well!

About three weeks ago, I did slip him a card with my phone number and other contact info on it, saying that if he ever did want to go out for coffee and conversation, as friends, he should contact me. He has expressed nervousness before about being seen by his supervisor chatting with customers rather than doing his job. Clearly, he could get in trouble for slacking off if he gets seen doing it too long, or too often. So since then, I have kept contact mostly at a level of giving a smile and a casual, friendly wave if we make eye contact during his working hours. He knows how to reach me in his off time, if he chooses to do so, and he knows I am open to going out for coffee, as friends. The ball is in his court. So far, he has not tried to reach out to me for that. He smiles when he notices I am there, but he has likewise avoided the risk of being seen dropping what he is supposed to be doing at work just to come over to me and chat.

Not going to over think it. It was nice that he seemed to believe I could have been an old female friend from his youth. But he also is balding, pot bellied, and while he is a nice guy, he definitely looks his age. Every day he sees me scooting around the mall, being athletic and vigorous, acting, dressing and generally looking much younger than my calendar age. He may be having thoughts that I am ‘out of his league’.

Or perhaps, now that I have confirmed in his mind that I am transgender, and not the old female friend he mistook me for, he is placing a much lower priority on connecting with me. I have not given him much encouragement, and have tried to say clearly that all I would be offering at this point would to be a friend. Honestly, I am always open to new friends, but he isn’t the sort of guy I find attractive as potential dating material. He’s just a nice guy who I would not mind being friends with.

[Beverley Sims]

Lovely to see you progressing so well.

I was a size 14 and got rid of a lot of size10 clothes I had..

Guess what?

I am size ten again and looking a lot better than I did at size 14.