Sometimes I think See Knows

[jamiecd636]

I am deep in the closet, very careful about when I dress. The other day my SO was watching a TV show and said we should get you a dress like the one being worn by the shows star. I laughed it off, saying yeah sure. Later in the evening she said if we get you that dress, you'll need a bra. Again, I made a yeah right comment. At other times, she will come home with a new lipstick of eyeliner which she tries to put on me however I always put up a fight and push her away.

Is she just playing or does she know and wants to see how far I will go? Any advice?

[Vicky_Scot]

Go with the flow and just take it slow Think she may be testing the water. x

[sara66]

Call her bluff. Just say ok. If she is serious than you have a new dress. If she says haha of something similar you really are out nothing. Pascal's wager, little down side, big upside. Good luck.
Sara :)
.

[Bobbi46]

Go with the flow, she knows and is Ok with everything

[Micki_Finn]

It’s hard to say honestly, especially not knowing you all personally. If I had to venture a guess I’d say that your wife has picked up that any discussion of “girly” stuff makes you more uncomfortable than is logical, so she keeps pushing that button both to get a reaction but also I think probing a little bit.

As far as if you should come out or not, don’t try to read anything into her actions. Her eventual reaction is still unpredictable.

[Krea]

It could be either, but it sounds like just the opportunity you long for. Go for it!
If she's the one suggesting you try a little bit of CDing, she can hardly complain if you go along with it.

[Helen_Highwater]

So Jamie, the star of the show, male, female, in drag. If female then saying for no good reason we should get you a dress like that is just so random as to be bizarre. If it happens again I'd suggest you call her bluff.

I assume you and your SO are different sizes so the first criteria needs to be, "We get it in my size". "I'm not squeezing into a dress that you really want for yourself". "If we do this, we do it properly". Throw down the gauntlet as if you're calling her dare.

I suspect she has more than an inkling or perhaps having you in a dress is a fantasy for her. Play along but keep an eye open for bear traps.

[DianeT]

Totally with Micki on this one.

[JuliaGirl]

She's probing. In he gentlest way she knows how? I say, say yes once and then see.

[alwayshave]

Jamie, I think she knows and is just trying to give you an out.

[Paulette]

Jamie you might try saying something like I have been thinking about your offer to buy me a dress and I think I would like to see what it feels like.

[RADER]

That is close to what happened to me with my wife.
And It all worked out great. I was able to dress at home anytime I wanted.
She would often dress me up. I loved it.
rader

[Mermaiden]

Not sure anyone can tell you what to do, but as you decide your next move it may worth asking yourself what you want. Would you be happier if she knew? As always, baby steps are safest.

[char GG]

I wouldn't trust asking people that don't know you or her. You may want to ask your wife.

[lingerieLiz]

I would say at the very least she suspects. She also may find it intriguing. Let her take the lead to introducing you to what she would enjoy.

Isn't that better than your deep closet?

[Amy Lynn3]

I think she suspects, but not sure about it. She keeps tempting you, in hopes you will admit it. Sort of like on the Police shows we see on TV. They tempt the crooks into admitting to a crime, then arrest them, As Char GG suggest, the next time she tempts you, just ask why she keeps doing that. She will tell you. Hope it turns out great for you.

[jennifer easton]

I'm with the group just ask whats up with the dress thing? oh ok it could be cool, I've thought about how it would be to let my girly side get out and see what she has to say xoxox jenn

[Crissy 107]

I think at the very least she suspects something and it sounds to me that she is giving you an opening to talk about your crossdressing. I say next time go for it, I feel you will have a good opportunity.

[Sandi Beech]

This thread is kind of interesting. I wonder if you could take her up and still play it safe. At the next offer you could reply , well I would wear it but you probably couldn?t handle it. Kind of like a dare. If she takes the bait and does not like you dressed up , you can say I only did it on the dare. If she likes it and offers to dress you again, you are all set. You could just say you took a liking to it after you gave it a try. That way you can test the waters without getting in trouble.

Sandi

[sarah_hillcrest]

Can you not hear the sound of opportunity knocking, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, lightning only strikes once.

[nvlady]

The next time she starts with the lipstick or eyeliner, tell her no, you'll want to keep going and make me all up. Then you can agree to a full makeup on Friday night, or if you're really lucky, maybe a complete makeover.

[Majella St Gerard]

Why would she say we should get you a dress like that? Seems very odd.
She knows and is baiting you.
Could be good or very bad. Women are very sneaky.
IMHO.

[KlaireLarnia]

I would be very worried at this point. This to me sounds like she is aware of what you do, I.e she has found all your items, problably gone through them in detail and is now pushing to see if you will admit to it.

Not knowing your relationship - how long you have been together, how strong a couple you are, your history etc makes it hard for us to judge things. In my experience of my wife she did not bait me, I simply got a "what the hell is all this" with a pile of clothes on the bed. I then took the chance to explain - in detail - what I do and why, which in my case worked out but could have easily backfired.

Personally her comments bother me. Unless you are strong enough (both personally and in terms of your relationship) to ask her why she would say that or ask her when you would wear it if you did then I would be inclined to consider your position and if you need to make the first move in coming out to her as this to me sounds like her trying to push you into opening up - but why she would do it this way I cannot say.

[DianeT]

She obviously sensed your trouble when touching the subject and is teasing you. Many here interpret it like she knows about your CDing, but I suppose us crossdressers are quick to jump to that conclusion because we fancy the idea. Honestly it seems a long shot. If I was in your shoes, the next time she brings the subject I would simply ask her why she's so interested.

[Di]

I wouldn't trust asking people that don't know you or her. You may want to ask your wife.
This a thousand times!
The two GGs in this thread are telling you the same thing.
And please stop with the lame ( yeah right)
You are asking if she’s playing games well you are as well .

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

Think I'm at the point where I'd just say sure, let's do it. But hard to know what's going on here, as others have said.

[BTWimRobin]

It sounds like it's time to come out of the closet. You might want to have the talk with your wife.

[Jamie Lynn]

If you're very secure with your relationship then I say take her up on it! Might be a fun game if it doesn't turn out to be something more!

[Stephanie47]

Back in 2007 you posted your wife came home with a new lipstick, asked if you liked it, yes, and, then she tried to apply it to your lips. If you're not pulling our leg, then I am quite sure your wife knows or at bare minimum she suspects. The issue is what will happen if you confirm her suspicions..... she is supportive or all hell breaks loose. Maybe, the next time she suggests applying lip coloring on you, relent and let her do it but suggest the full facial treatment. Tell her in order to "get it out of her system" you'll go along. Keep it her idea and see how far she'll go.

[Krisi]

Strangers on the Internet have no idea what your wife is thinking so be wary of anything that's posted here.

Whether she knows, suspects or whatever, she is handing you the opportunity to dress. You are a fool not to take that opportunity and run with it. She has offered to buy you a dress and a bra. She has offered to do your makeup. Let her do these things and let her think it's her idea. Once you're walking around the house in makeup and a bra and a dress, you can suggest other things like breast forms, hip padding and a wig.

Remember, she started it. Take it from there.

[Vickie_CDTV]

She must suspect and is probing you to see how you react. The fact she brings makeup home and keeps trying to put it on you is absolutely bizarre. Why on earth would a GG do that?

[Pumped]

Strangers on the Internet have no idea what your wife is thinking so be wary of anything that's posted here.

Whether she knows, suspects or whatever, she is handing you the opportunity to dress. You are a fool not to take that opportunity and run with it. She has offered to buy you a dress and a bra. She has offered to do your makeup. Let her do these things and let her think it's her idea. Once you're walking around the house in makeup and a bra and a dress, you can suggest other things like breast forms, hip padding and a wig.

Remember, she started it. Take it from there.

What she said!!

[Asew]

Before I came out to my wife, she would say things that would make me wonder if she knew. Such as how I liked to see her in dresses and skirts, she would say "if you like them so much why don't you wear them". We would watch RuPaul's drag race and she would make comments. And things about how "she wears the pants around here so I should wear a dress". One night when she made this comment and left to go out with a friend, so I put on one of her skirts and waited for her in bed and when she came home she was disgusted and said never do that again. Well back into the closet.

One year for halloween my wife had bought a new cute femme costume but was too lazy to wear it when we were going out so I said "if you aren't going to wear it someone should" and wore one of her older femme costumes.

When I did come out to her, she said she had no idea. And that her response to me surprising her in bed was she thought I was doing it for her based on her comment, not for me on something I wanted to do. That all her comments were in jest and not some way of knowing. So long story short, who knows if she knows.

[BrendaPDX]

Wives can be very intuitive, it is almost impossible to stay deep in the closet, a bit of eye makeup, a hint of nail polish, rearrangement of cloths. Like others have said, take it slow if you do come out.

[Star01]

She's probing. In he gentlest way she knows how? I say, say yes once and then see.

I am closeted and don't dress around her and cover my tracks as carefully as I can. My wife sometimes says those things but it's not in a tone of voice that I would consider a green light to do more. We all know our wives and their expressions, body language and tone of voice better than anyone reading our comments on this forum. In my case it's been a few years since her last comment so I consider it her way of getting a reaction and I am unsure of the consequences if I were to take it the wrong way so I still take the same approach.

[April Rose]

Jamie, I think the real point here is whether or not you really want to STAY in the closet. She may suspect, she may not. The only thing that you control is whether her suspicions are confirmed.

I would think about it very carefully. Not whether she suspects or not, but whether you really want her to know. Only you can know yourself and your wife well enough to make that decision. I told my wife before we were married. Her acceptance, over 40 years of marriage has been all over the map, but I have never regretted being truthful about who I am.

[kimdl93]

A lot of different responses. In my view, she knows. Those were not coincidental comments. Next time she makes a comment or suggestion, and there will be a next time, just go with it and see where it leads.

[Pumped]

My wife used to give me crap about her wearing high heels, she would say if I liked them so much I should wear them. I told her to buy me a pair! One Christmas she gave me a pair of black pumps and it went on from there. I started dressing on the sly, got caught, and may discussions later I dress most days, many of them with her.

[CandaceNichole]

Hi Jamie

I would love to hear an update. My experience is that she will eventually find out, so it might be best to find out she really feels.

[BethanyCross]

Obviously, being honest with your wife is the best choice. If you are afraid of how that could turn out, however, and want to test the waters, wait till she tells you how nice you would look with this article of clothing or this makeup item. Instead of "oh yeah, right" tell her " i don't think it's my shade ( for lipstick) or "I don't think I would look good in that color" or "I don't have the legs for it" She might say "let's see" and you could play along "just for fun". That approach should allow you to step out of the closet just a little without risking a whole lot.

[Rileyaz]

Strangers on the Internet have no idea what your wife is thinking so be wary of anything that's posted here.

Whether she knows, suspects or whatever, she is handing you the opportunity to dress. You are a fool not to take that opportunity and run with it. She has offered to buy you a dress and a bra. She has offered to do your makeup. Let her do these things and let her think it's her idea. Once you're walking around the house in makeup and a bra and a dress, you can suggest other things like breast forms, hip padding and a wig.

Remember, she started it. Take it from there.

If you get this far, she will probably be the one to suggest breast forms and a wig. Let her play.

[NancySue]

She knows...bet the farm on it. Have you ever heard about female ESP? Sounds to me like she?s offering you an opportunity to come out of the deep closet. Go for it. My wife supports me. It?s wonderful.

[char GG]

I don?t agree with the suggestions of playing along or any other type of guessing game. Since you have asked, my advice would be to tell her the truth and go from there.

I?m not sure why you would ask advice from people on the internet, who don?t know you or your wife, whether or not she knows. Tell her, the you will know that she knows.

[JenniferMBlack]

This is a reoccurring theme in your posts over the years. Either she knows or she wants you to dress. Being she hasn't confronted the situation after all these years she must want you too.

[Jackiemtv]

Sounds like a golden opportunity for you. Go for it.

[Bluesman]

No way for us or even for you to know what your SO is thinking. Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn't. I think the important thing is, what are YOU thinking, and wanting? Prefer to stay in the closet and keep your dressing private? Then keep doing what you're doing. Would you like for her to know and participate, then next time she brings it up, go along with whatever she is suggesting, as in "If you you want to get me that dress, sure, I'll try it on". If she suggests a bra, go for it. Just follow her lead, see where it takes you. If you want to be a little more pro-active and don't want to wait for a next time, ask her, when appropriate, "Were you serious about wanting to get that dress for me?" and see where it leads.

[Jenny22]

She knows or has a strong suspicion that you dress. Otherwise why would she even think of saying those things in a 'normal' marriage?

[nvlady]

The next time she suggests something like that, your answer should consist of two letters. One of the letters is "O", the other letter is "K".

[mbmeen12]

She def knows and go with it....have fun:)

[Suranne]

It depends how much it bothers both of you. If you think there will be trouble then be wary, but if you think that it will be ok, the go for it, probably slowly at first and see where it goes. You could be on the cusp of happy times. Good luck.

[KymG]

Well, as its her idea..
Play along and see what happens.
An opportunity too good to waste.

[JenniferR771]

Feel her out. Probe for more.
For instance, say, " I once crossdressed years ago; I looked really good."
Don't lie to her--but maybe you could say, "I used to crossdress years ago." That would be true, right? LOL!
Let her say, "Did you take any pictures?"

I had a similar situation with my roommate and his girlfriend. I never admitted to being a crossdresser--but he must have found one of my magazines. His girlfriend gave me one of her bras, just before I left for an out of state college. I still did not admit I was a CD. Kept that bra for years.

[chrissyone]

Am I the only one who has noticed that the poster has not chimed in at all to any of the comments ??

[Tanya silk stocking]

Does seem to have gone quite

[Kelly DeWinter]

Jamie;

You are not as deep in the closet as you think you are. Most people who think they have been careful ultimately find out they have slipped up somewhere along the line. At the least your wife has shown that she is lighthearted about the subject. I'd say either she knows ans is sounding you out as an opportunity to move out of the closet or that it's not that big of a deal. Watch a season of Ru Pauls Drag race with her and if she makes more positive comments, then open the closet door.

[maya1]

She can probably tell by your fake reaction that something is up. Just be more yourself and don't react too strongly either way when she makes these kinds of comments.

[mona lisa]

This thread is kind of interesting. I wonder if you could take her up and still play it safe. At the next offer you could reply , well I would wear it but you probably couldn?t handle it. Kind of like a dare. If she takes the bait and does not like you dressed up , you can say I only did it on the dare. If she likes it and offers to dress you again, you are all set. You could just say you took a liking to it after you gave it a try. That way you can test the waters without getting in trouble.

Sandi

I agree with Sandi.

[JeanTG]

Is she just playing or does she know and wants to see how far I will go? Any advice?

Of course she knows. Wives always know, whether they accept or not. Mine (non-accepting) knows. She said that if I'd been dressing that day, my mannerisms were different. Not even I noticed that!!!

[JennyMay]

If my wife had said this to me when I was deep in the closet I would have probably reacted exactly as you did. Now I am out to her things are so much better. it sounds like your wife knows what is going on and is signalling that she is willing to be accepting. On the other hand it could be that this so far outside her thinking that she is just joking and would be shocked if you took her up. I dosen't sound like that to me but it could be.

I think the first question to ask is, do you want to be out to her? in my experience being out to ones SO is great, but that my experience may not be relevant to you.

Had you thought of asking what she thinks of cross dressers hypothetically? This needn't come 'out of the blue'. Watch a TV program or film about CDrs (i did this with 'Just like a woman' but that was years ago). You need to talk to each other. I will say, in my experience, opening up really enriches the marriage.

One further thought. if you talk to her, one question she will be asking (even if she doesn't ask it) is 'how far do you want to go?' Are you a cross-dresser or transsexual? you need to ask that question of yourself and know what your answer is (at least at this moment in time).

[Dana3]

Per the OP,

It's been my personal experience with GG in general, that 70 + % of the time when they ask a question?

They ALREADY know the answer.

I've also found that most of the time? When I think I'm fooling someone? I'm only fooling myself.

Knowing the above, I make it a point to NEVER to lie to my Wife. Even though I may cringe at the possible outcome.

"Better to be slapped with the truth, than kissed with a lie!" ~ Russian proverb

[ClosetED]

For what it's worth, I think she knows and is open to you sharing this side of yourself.
Next time she makes a suggestion, say you trust her and are wiling to put yourself in her hands.
Hugs, Ellen

[MissTee]

Next time just say yes and let her lead. You both might enjoy it.