Single entity /personality

[Rachelakld]

So I'm reading a post, goes like this

"It's so bad, that many will create a whole imaginary female persona to assign all their feminine feelings to, even referring to themselves in third person, rather than admit to themselves that it's part of their male self. "

It's called "Bashing"

I suppose it's nice to think "I know everything because this is MY reality" and throw out such comments.
Heck, being gay could be just an emotional response to an child hood event, and can be cured (Might have happened to one person so MUST be true for everyone?)
I've read of a few political leaders and religious leaders spouting the similar crap...... doesn't make it true.

If anything I've learned, a single entity person, like a color blind person, will never understand the full spectrum

[Helen_Highwater]

Rachel,

Isn't one of the functions of this forum to spread light and illuminate other's darkness?

It's the airing of different perspectives that help us all understand each other and ourselves that bit better.

[KlaireLarnia]

I don't totaly agree. I think there are two camps - those who see dressing/feminitiy as seperate to how the present normally/their male side - and those who see it all as the same thing and there being no distiction between the two. I.e someone has John/Jane and someone has John but dresses feminie despite this. Whilst I am the latter I respect those who are the former even if it doesn't make sense to me.

Yes one side may not understand the other fully or even agree with what they do/why but that is the same everyone - where one person or group approaches something one way another will undoubtedly disagree and look at it another. One is not aways right or wrong. We can only try and undestand the other's point of view and use that to build bridges and have a conversation even if it doesn't reflect how we feel. At the end of the day what we want is the ability to dress as we please in private, at work, in public. How I got to being able to dress as I am and have next to fully female wardrobe of clothes which I can wear at home,in public and work won't be the same as you or the next person and what I get from it may not be the same - it doesn't make me right. so I try and understand the other side and see if there is anything I take from them to help me move forward and if there is anything I can share to help them get there too even if it is only encouragement or a different perspective.

[GretchenM]

To me, the reality is not necessarily parallel with the perception. One of the difficulties is that we live in a society where, for most people, gender and sex ideally follow each other. That is their fundamental starting point in their understanding of gender. But in others, their concept of gender does not necessarily parallel sex. In fact they use a concept where sex and gender are quite independent of each other. The first perspective is the more traditional view that creates a binary paradigm while the second perspective creates a non-binary paradigm. Which is correct? At this point in our understanding it is difficult to actually say which is correct or Natural.

In terms of the biological functioning, it is starting to appear like the Gender Mosaic (more non-binary) concept of gender has the best evidence supporting it and it is much simpler an explanation as it results in a view that everybody is a unique blend of many traits and characteristics we associate with gender behaviors. The traditional view results in concepts that more or less define absolute categories (masculine/male and feminine/female) with the person's sex being the primary controller. Thus, people who deviate with inconsistent behavior are viewed as odd while when using the non-binary or mosaic paradigm such oddities are expected because everybody varies in multi-dimensional ways and the person's sex is comparatively unimportant. In the mosaic or non-binary concept the full range is the expectation and therefore oddities don't actually exist - it is individualism.

So, viewing yourself as being bi-gender, co-gender, transgender, transexual as separate definable categories of gender requires the use of sex as the guiding characteristic. These are gender variances from "normal" gender which is strictly masculine or feminine where masculine = male and feminine = female. Simple cross-dressing tends to occupy a unique position is that often the self gender concept of the cross-dresser remains parallel with their sex but their expression is reversed from what is expected.

In the gender mosaic or non-binary concept there really isn't any masculine/male or feminine/female primary sex and gender idealism. Sex is a different subject from gender. Thus, all gender behavior is an abstraction and the overt expression is, idealistically, the result of the sum total of all gender traits and characteristics the person has. Everybody is different, but our social customs have created expectations to simplify it all. Unfortunately, perhaps we have equated the social customs, because they usually follow sex, as being the reality when it is a fabrication that, in terms of society, creates hierarchies that produce inequalities. By disconnecting the social customs from sex, which appears to be the way our brains are actually structured and function, dominant and subordinate sexes cannot exist and everyone is left to make their own expression choices within a vast array of possibilities. Choosing to use the simplified mode of a vague dual expression type or blending the two is fine because all are equal in terms of gender and different in terms of their individual gender structure.

Thus, right now we find two primary concepts of gender in operation, in part, because there is a paradigm shift occurring with regard to what gender is and how it operates. Meanwhile, science is attempting to figure out how everything actually functions independently of different views (paradigms) of what is real. Personally, I adhere to the non-binary, gender mosaic concept because it answers the most questions when it comes to looking at the mental functioning, but after 74 years of having the traditional perspective pounded into me I experience conflicts where I think I am doing one thing when in fact the historical training is distorting it and what comes out is a bit confusing. I think that happens to a lot of us who have been around for a long time, but in the younger folks I don't see so much of that as they are tending to embrace a more non-binary concept rather than a traditional concept.

- - - Updated - - -

To add a little more to my long discussion, the gender mosaic or non-binary view relies heavily on the plasticity of the brain. That is its amazing ability to adapt to different experiences that modify the expression within a fundamental structure that is generalized and defined by genetic combinations. Plasticity is a central concept of behavioral neuroscience. In the traditional view, plasticity is downplayed so a fundamental binary gender concept that parallels sex can persist. Unfortunately for that view, plasticity still exists and functions which creates conflict with the traditional view's more structured and rigid conceptualization of gender.

[docrobbysherry]

Many people live in a world that is either black or white. Certainly that is becoming the norm these days.:sad:

However, I think most of us live in a world that is more diverse. With fifty or more shades of gray visible to us!:heehee:

[Micki_Finn]

“If anything I've learned, a single entity person, like a color blind person, will never understand the full spectrum“

Um, WHAT? Are you saying that someone who doesn’t think of their “femme self” as a different personality has some kind of disability?

[Krea]

I don't totaly agree. I think there are two camps - those who see dressing/feminitiy as seperate to how the present normally/their male side - and those who see it all as the same thing and there being no distiction between the two. I.e someone has John/Jane and someone has John but dresses feminie despite this. Whilst I am the latter I respect those who are the former even if it doesn't make sense to me.
Yes, this is nicely put. Our perception of gender varies from person to person. Each of us can only present our own view. Others will feel differently, but no one opinion is specifically right or wrong.

[Robertacd]

I am the same person with the same thought, fears, and desires DRAG or DRAB.

I tried to "keep 'em separated (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FWdQVNeTlI)" for decades but I was just denying who I really was. As I said in another thread the shame and guilt most of us feel only really went away after I accepted myself and came out as Transgender.

Your reality is not the end all know it all reality either, honey.

[sometimes_miss]

Since the writing that you refer to are my words, you might have simply send me a PM about it if you so strongly disagree.

[Teresa]

Rachel,
It depends how much of a battle it has been to use the female identity , some of us get dragged back into being male to please other people . It's hard to accpet the two parts will ever come together when you still fight those battles , it my be called Bashing by whom on who ?

I'm not complaing anymore because I'm just about at the finishing post !

[Mackem Sue]

Hmm. The female side needs to be endulged from time to time and and long as it it has it's way when I'm in private, then it seems to be satisfied.

Sue

[Rachelakld]

Sometimes_Miss, while the comments were yours, there are many others who think thy know how everyone "should" be (you only think your like that but actually...?..).
I apologies that I allowed myself to be offended by such a left curve comment in thread where someone was expressing how they felt ashamed and sad.

Mikki Finn
Gretchen

What I'm trying to say, since most humans normally have 6 to 18 sub personalities (some co-conscious, some not [see wife basher who "didn't do it/don't remember"]), can one SUPER-personality, be a substitute for the full flexibility of someone with 6-18 personalities?
Wouldn't a single personality have mental conflict when violence was required, if they were pacifists?

[Teresa]

Rachel,
Are you confusing personalities with abilities both hidden and recognised ?

Talking personally I felt I was a Jekyl and Hyde character when I had my photography business , tying to be Mr Nice guy and helpful to everyone but I couldn't keep up or sustain it when I returned home , I became Mr Nasty in some respects because the stress and worry of the day had no where else to go . I now admit being Teresa has taken so much of the highs and lows away , I'm far more even and balanced .

I've also seen from my painting group as people become more proficient with their art it brings something out in them , their new found ability is showing a different side of them , their personality changes because they have become confident with something they never knew they had .

In this respect I don't feel you will ever discover ONE or a Super pesonality , people learn all the time and have layers in their makeup . Some people are so deep you never find what makes them tick !

[SaraLin]

What I'm trying to say, since most humans normally have 6 to 18 sub personalities

say WHAT???? Multiple personalities? Are you saying that most humans are schizophrenic? If so - I disagree wholeheartedly.

Or - are you saying that most "humans" take on different roles (such as father, mother, worker, soldier, etc. )?
If so, then yes, people do take on different roles depending on their situation at the moment. For example, the stern boss can be a real pussycat at home.
BUT - I won't agree that this is a different "personality." It's just what's called for in that situation. If a person's personality is incompatible with the role - then there is a problem. I left the military and moved away from a good, high profile job because my personality just didn't fit.


and:


Wouldn't a single personality have mental conflict when violence was required, if they were pacifists?

Yes, I have been really emotionally distraught following the few times I have found myself in violent situations. Even though I know I acted as I had to at the time (protecting others), I will nonetheless emotionally beat myself up, asking myself if there could have been a better way to handle it. The SHOULDA/WOULDA/COULDA's eat me up - sometimes for days.

[Tracii G]

Can't we leave others to exist in their own way without trying to pigeon hole them?
No need to be upset because someone doesn't agree with you or fit your belief system.

[kayegirl]

Tracii , my thoughts exactly.

[Bea_]

I totally fall on the "dressing as an extension of the male persona" side of the equation and I really don't relate to the idea of a female persona. But, that's just me.

That being said, the whole argument of who is 'right' is kinda like a dog lover hating on a cat lover and vice versa... Nobody win's the argument because nobody is likely to change based on anything the other would say.

I enjoy my life without a cat or dog, but I am glad that others see fit to take responsibility for whichever they choose.

[Rachelakld]

Tracii, it's true that I was pev'd off that someone assumed we were all single personalities (but didn't know it!) when I started this.


So here's my issue with people who declare for the existence of ONLY ONE possibility

Are these true of false statements?
(okay, they seem reasonably true for me)

A single personality "female" CDer, who likes flower shopping in girl mode, MUST like flower shopping in any mode T / F ?
A multiple personality "female" who likes flower shopping in girl mode, might not like flowers at all in boy mode T / F ?

I already assume most here are in 1 or other group, Just asking if the statements could be correct

[GaleWarning]

Whenever you get annoyed, it pays to chill out for awhile before reacting.
Sleep on it.
I've learned to do this over many years.