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Lana Mae
02-23-2020, 03:50 PM
I went to church(Lana Mae)! I was looking for a program! Two women were talking and I moved toward them to get a program off the shelf! I said, "Good morning!" in my best Lana Mae voice and they stopped talking and walked away! So, not good! I went in to attend the service and was greeted and welcomed by 5 women separately and in pairs! Pastor was glad to see me!
Then home and out to Wal Mart as Lana Mae to get a few items! No small bags of dog food so I got a 14lb bag! No dental bones! Got the other items but on my way to get them two separate women giggled behind my back! I passed a man who said, "Good afternoon, ma'am!"
I had to go to Food Lion to get the dental bones for the dog! I just stepped out of my car and a man with a bicycle walked up and asked if I could help him out! Yes, panhandler! I had no money on me so I could not help and he said, "Thanks anyway, Ma'am!" Once inside Food Lion, I had a gray haired man look at me and smile! The cashier gave me a big smile also!
Overall I would say a good day! What do you think?
Hugs Lana Mae

Genifer Teal
02-23-2020, 03:58 PM
Its all what you make of it. In the beginning I didn't care if anyone "knew". I pretty much counted on it. I was OK with it as long as their next thought was that I looked good. One never knows. It's all in our mind. It got me off to a good start.

Crissy 107
02-23-2020, 04:23 PM
Lana Mae, You had a good day, there were many more positives then negatives. I hope you just ignore the knuckleheads and enjoy the very nice people.
I have a feeling that is exactly what you did.

kimdl93
02-23-2020, 04:24 PM
Those who directly acknowledged you were all positive. You probably inferred some adverse reaction from the two women in church...maybe it was, maybe it wasn?t. And you inferred that the women giggling behind you were doing so figuratively as well...maybe, maybe not. No way of knowing in either instance. So, go with the affirming responses and ignore your little doubting voice on the others.

Lana Mae
02-23-2020, 04:49 PM
Genifer: I agree it does not make a whole lot of difference to me! I know I do not pass! I am a transgirl and that is it!
Crissy: Yes, actually I had a very good day!
Kim: The church women may have been upset that their conversation got interrupted! The ones who giggled may not have been giggling at me! Yes, I always accentuate the positive and down play the negative! I want those who do not go out to see that things happen but you just keep at it and don't let things like this bother or deter you! I have been at this for only 3 going on 4 years! I have been going out for almost that whole time! Stuff happens just rise above it!
Hugs Lana Mae

Crissy 107
02-23-2020, 08:58 PM
Lana Mae, I have heard it said that attitude is everything and you certainly have a good one.

AngelaYVR
02-23-2020, 09:18 PM
The louder they laugh, the more interesting their internet browsing history

Rachelakld
02-24-2020, 12:17 AM
Got to agree with Genifer, it's what you make of it. We can't control others, but we can control our response / attitude.
I think everyday your out enjoying life, is a good day.

Stephanie47
02-24-2020, 01:55 AM
On the whole I think you had a good day. I don't know if the two church women were shunning you. I would think the giggling women were rather immature.

alwayshave
02-24-2020, 07:52 AM
Lana Mae, I'm sorry about the laughs. I have been there and its not fun. But others were friendly and used the correct salutation. I'd call it a win.

junetv
02-24-2020, 08:16 AM
Act like you belong there (because you do and you did) - I think lack of confidence is the one thing that works against us. It gives those who do not understand a reason to shun and
those who hate a way to intimidate.

It sounds like you carried yourself well and took on the day as yourself. those who hate a way to intimidate.
:hugs::hugs:

Lana Mae
02-24-2020, 11:39 AM
Crissy: Thanks, I try to have a good attitude!
Angela: I am not quite sure I follow that!??
Rachel: Yes, everyday is a good day!
Stephanie: Not sure about the church women and what that was about! As to those giggling, it may not have been at me at all!
Jamie: It was a good day! WIN!
June: Yes, confidence and the feeling that you belong there are key elements in going out!
Thank you for your responses!!
Hugs Lana Mae

Rhonda Darling
02-24-2020, 02:20 PM
Lana Mae:
It took me forever, but I finally realized that I can't read what others are thinking, and that if I guess, I often make the wrong assumption. Unless it's overwhelmingly clear to me that someone is laughing at me, I'm better off ignoring them. Even if some snicker or slight is directed at me, I'll ignore it unless it is likely to escalate.

From your description of yesterday, I'd say it was mostly positive. Yea!

Rhonda

AngelaYVR
02-24-2020, 02:31 PM
Angela: I am not quite sure I follow that!??

Lana Mae, I always imagine that the people who react negatively do so because they have their own skeletons in the closet. The more obviously they react, the more interesting their own issues.

Bobbi46
02-24-2020, 03:09 PM
Lana Mae, You have your days out well and truly licked, enjoy!

Allisa
02-24-2020, 05:51 PM
Lana no one ever promised you a rose garden, with the sunshine comes the rain, thus is life, although maybe a bit more profound in the trans world.

April Rose
02-24-2020, 08:56 PM
You'll never have a rose garden if you can't deal with a few pricks.:devil:

Angela Marie
02-25-2020, 06:49 AM
I have the same feeling when I go out. Overall I think I do a pretty good job and i'm blessed with having a petite frame. However we can never avoid the circumstances that Lana spoke of. At this point in my life I pretty much don't care. If people are going to judge me only by the clothes I wear rather than the type of person I am their comments, looks, and opinions of me are irrelevant, and not people who I would ever consider a friend or even an acquaintance.