Glenda is going away

[Glenda58]

I've been thinking this since Lauren's post. I've been doing this for 70 years. This last year I've gained 30 LBs and can't lose it at 72. I buy cloths to go out but I don't go out anymore. So I stopped buying cloths.

I've done things that others here would like to do. I've shopped gone to church shows dinner all in femme. Been to the beach walked the dog. Did gardening in my yard. Driven cross country got gas and used a female restroom.

I've met others here. Been to meeting Been call madam someone thought I was someone wife at a meeting which made me feel good. Got stopped at the boarded going to Canada while dressed no problem.

But my time has come to let Glenda go. I can't keep hiding this from my family and friends.

I have a wife who doesn't like it but has stay with me.

I know Glenda will be part of me forever and she will come here often to give advice.

This is not a farewell I just won't be dressing anymore.

[Micki_Finn]

Seems to be a trend lately. Best of luck to you in the future.

[kimdl93]

Best of luck!

[MeshelleCD]

Sorry to hear you wont continue to dress. It appears you were able to pass and were comfortable with yourself. May you continue to live the best life you can!

[Rhonda Jean]

"if three people do it... they'll think it's a movement"

Who's next?

Best of luck, Glenda. Not as fun as it used to be for me, either. I'm not throwing in the towel, though!

[Tracii G]

Its up to you Glenda so consider yourself lucky because dressing was just a hobby for you.
Not that way for me and plenty of others here.

[docrobbysherry]

Your choice. But, please change your byline, Glenda.:straightface:

It makes me sad to read, "Feels like a woman", on posts by someone who's given up dressing!:sad:

[alwayshave]

Glenda, I hope that your are happy with your choice.

[Lauren Richards]

Glenda,
My most sincere wishes for your happiness as you follow a new path. Only 72? I have to believe you have many years remaining to explore the new path you are on, wherever it may lead you.

You may find those pounds disappearing, too.. take if from someone not far behind you... it can be done.

I also take a somewhat different view on your byline than Sherry... you can feel like whatever you want, and make choices which suit your own ideas of what is right for you. I think there is actually something in her bylines which also speaks to what you are doing, although I have a feeling this turns convention on it's ear..."u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected." and...".. NO REGRETS!"

Take care,
Formerly Lauren

[Crissy 107]

Glenda, I also wish you the best of luck as this is not an easy choice to make or keep.

[GretchenM]

Like Lauren, I wish you all the best in your change, Glenda.

I am one of those that believe you can be feminine without always dressing the part whenever that feeling arises. Some of us go through a process called merging. That is where the identities join and become a single identity that expresses any way it wishes. Others never experience that.

Merging happened to me back in 2013 after I abandoned the idea of transitioning. Through 1015 I would bounce back and forth, rarely dressed completely and mostly when I did dress it was the pieces and parts blend. Dressing fully is not what I do anymore and I don't miss it, but all that the feminine/female identity characteristics are still there. I still do pieces and parts once in awhile.

It has become a collaboration between the male and female aspects and forms a very broad single identity that includes everything that was formerly broken into two pieces that tended to compete with each other. To me, it is all about the fundamental, underlying behavior and so long as that remains intact the way you dress becomes less important and the way you behave is more important. Not everyone experiences this merging and that is fine. Non-binary people are free to do anything because in your development you are no longer a part of the binary. But for those who remain in some form of the binary world it is perfectly fine as well because we are all different in our configuration and concept of self. The big question is are you honest with yourself? If so, it doesn't matter how your identity is configured or what you do to express it. There are no rules, just different ways.

[Lana Mae]

Wishing you the best! Just be you! That is all anyone can ask! Hugs Lana Mae

[Sandi Beech]

Glenda , I wish you the best whatever your path forward. Sometimes I feel the same way myself and wonder if I would be happier if I just quit cold turkey. It is certainly something you would have put a lot of thought into. Again best wishes.

Sandi

[Glenda58]

This is harder than I thought. I have almost no male cloths. I have 95 panties and no male underwear. I stopped wearing a bra but I still have 45 of them and I'm a 36 B even without them.

[Alice Torn]

Glenda, It is ok to quit, or ok to occasionally dress. I gave 99% of my lady things to a rescue mission store 2 1/2 yrs ago. Now I have just 6 dresses, and one pair of heels, and a few cheap wigs, 3 bras, some PH, and several girdles. You can wash the all and give away.

[Mermaiden]

Being able to objectively look at your life and make rational decisions is quite admirable. Good for you!
My life would be easier too if I didn?t want to crossdress, but don?t see myself wanting that.

[JaclynL61]

Best of luck Glenda. Sounds like you made an objective decision as opposed to a "purge". I hope all woks out well for you and your family.

[Stephanie47]

Hope it works out for you and your wife. How does one avoid the stimuli that will bring back memories or urges? It's got to be tough!

[MissTee]

Best of luck to you. Sounds like you have a lot of fond dressing memories to carry with you.

[Teresa]

Glenda,
Only you can answer which way are you happier , to me the battles have been too hard fought to find Teresa , why would I want to go back ? Also like you I have very few male clothes anyway and have no intentions of buying anymore .

I hope it works out for you , I would never be one to say " I told you so !" If you come back to tell us you have changed your mind the important point would be the honesty you showed , at the moment you feel it's the right thing to do to give Glenda a rest .

[NancySue]

A difficult decision, for sure. Good luck, but me thinks the pink fog will return and you might have second thoughts.

[Paulie Birmingham]

People can overcome all sorts of urges. Hope you can overcome the urge you want to control

[Suranne]

Glenda, wherever your journey takes you, whatever path you follow, however it works out for you, all the best.

[Julie Martin]

Glenda, I hear you! After 50 years of dressing, my SO discovered my part-time "hobby" last year. After a week of processing and talking, and a lot of online research on her part, she said although it was a huge shock (I'm your basic "man's man", you'd never suspect), she understood, felt bad for me, and said I didn't need to hide my once-or-twice-a-year outings. Ironically, her acceptance felt like dodging a bullet..I was afraid I'd lose her if she ever found out...and it actually had the reverse affect of motivating me NOT to dress, as she is light years above my dressing in importance. That was almost a year ago now, and I've been able to resist the urge when it has come on strong ( 3 or 4 times). Occasional visits here and a couple other occasional similar activities have gotten me past those urges, and each time it's been a huge relief when the urge is gone and I'm just the guy she fell in love with. Although dressing used to be a stress buster, it's become instead a source of stress, so learning to manage the urge and indulge Julie occasionally in other ways is working, and feels like a weight has been lifted. I know this is opposite of many people's experience..

So..I totally get it, and I wish you success in letting Glenda go. We all know how challenging that will be, and it will be an ongoing challenge to find something that works for you. Happy trails, and best wishes.

[JeanTG]

Funny, I’m 61 and came to the opposite conclusion. My wife has a zero tolerance policy. So my only option was to dress in secret. Which means not very secret. They always know. She hated it and decided she couldn’t live with the secrecy any longer. I honestly believe I can’t give it up. In short, being freed of the need to please a hostile spouse, I‘ve decided to take the opportunity to start transition, and I‘ve been on HRT for two weeks now. I’m in great physical shape so I figure this is my last window of opportunity. If I fail, I can at least have the satisfaction of having tried. FWIW I do have a diagnosis of transgender from 6 months ago. That will never go away, alas. So even if my transition were to go awry, for instance because of illness, i will always need a way to cope with the reality of being transgender.

I’ve known I’ve wanted to be female for 52 years. Through those years there have been bouts of more or less intense dressing, but mostly long bouts of suffering in silence having to control huge amounts of inner frustration.

I wish I could drop it like Glenda but in the last 4 years I just no longer have the strength to resist.

[Fran Moore]

Each of us must follow our own path, find our own truth and life takes twists and turns that can be unpredictable. There are also those times where we must make choices that are deliberate and final. I wish you the best on your journey forward~

[Paulie Birmingham]

My desire to CD is like my desire for a good bourbon.. I enjoy both. But when my wife thought I drink too much (she was probably right) I slowed down significantly and could stop if i wanted to. My wife is accepting of my limited CDing . But if she was not, I could stop either on my own or with therapy. And I started cding 40 years ago.

[Deborah2B]

Glenda,

You are not alone like this. I have had to set Deborah aside. My wife knows for years that I like to dress up like a woman. She has caught me a few times. She has found some of my things several times. She has stayed with me through out all of this. She intensely dislikes my dressing. I know she is afraid of various things like being found out by others or that I am actually gay but I am not. I choose to set Deborah aside as much as possible in order to keep our marriage together.

[Beverley Sims]

Glenda, you may think you have been there and done that, but the urge will always remain.

Find something suitable to do that fits your present situation.

[Maria 60]

Sorry to hear about this but you do have an amazing pass, I didn't do half on your list. I was talking to my wife a while ago about our aging and my stuff and dressing habits. Unfortunately we don't know the future but I did tell her depending on my health as I get older will predict my decisions. I believe I'm going to have to stop collecting and start enjoying my stuff and maybe cut down some stuff. I have mentioned that maybe one day it will be down to panties and occasionally pantyhose that would be better then nothing. Maybe you could do the same, just leave a little to cherish. I believe these are very big decisions we are all going to have to make if we do reach older age. Thanks and hopefully you do drop in and tell us how your doing.

[Angie G]

if you can do it more power to you Glenda. :hugs:
Angie