First Date Jitters

[Sarah Doepner]

No, it wasn't a real date but it was the first time two of my old buddies got to meet Sarah.

I go to breakfast with the same guys almost every Wednesday morning and last year when I started coming out to people, I let them know and showed them a photo or two so they didn't have a wild impression of what I look like when I present as female. Over the last several months we have talked about my transgender life but it's always been theory. Yesterday I had intentionally scheduled a regular gender counseling session shortly after we would normally break up after coffee and breakfast. I let the guys know and we picked a place for breakfast where I have been before. I figured it was time and thought I was comfortable with the plan but I didn't sleep well the night before, woke before the alarm and debated over what to wear until it was the last minute and I had to get on the road. I realized I was behaving like it was a first date and I needed to impress them somehow. All this from someone 70 years old!

I got there, met with them and they were the perfect companions. They complimented me, used correct pronouns and even made comfortable jokes that worked to relax each of us. As the meal wound down I noticed that both of them had dressed up just a little more than normal as well. I had to laugh at a bunch of silly old folks testing the waters of the transgender world in ways that are new to them. This morning I woke to find an email from one of them thanking me for opening up to them and feeling comfortable enough to share this side of my life. Then he expressed how frustrating it is that there are people who would threaten someone like me just because of how I present myself from time to time. We have a wonderful ally in that one. I guess I've either been lucky or picked my friends well.

It's still winter here so I ended up with pants and a nice top with a cowl neck instead of a dress or skirt. Maybe the next time I'll be able to show off my legs.

[docrobbysherry]

Congrats, Sarah! On all the progress you've made!:thumbsup:

[Crissy 107]

Sarah, Congratulations on such a wonderful morning, I can understand your apprehension but your two old friends came through and everything worked out perfectly.

[Allisa]

"I noticed that both of them had dressed up just a little more than normal as well."
I can almost smell the OLD SPICE cologne from here.:) You've got some very loyal friends there.

[Sandi Beech]

That?s a nice story Sarah. It sounds like you had a good time.

Sandi

[Tracii G]

Sounds like you have some great friends.

[kimdl93]

Its kinda cute, but more than that, so encouraging that old friends can accept new ways of seeing each other.

[bridget thronton]

Good friends are treasures indeed

[Helen_Highwater]

Sarah,

You've disproved the saying, it is possible to teach old dogs new tricks and it just goes to show it's not just amongst the young that attitudes are changing.

So I'm sure that I don't have to tell you but baby steps are still in order. If you do decide it's time to go skirt or dress then forewarn them. It'll help keep them in their comfort zone.

It's wonderful that your long time friends haven't shied away from you, quite the opposite it seems. A lady with a gentleman on both arms!

[Jemima Stephens]

That;'s an excellent step forward, really pleased for you (and mildly jealous - in a good way!)

[jessica79]

Sounds like you have some true friends Sarah, true friends like you for you, not what you wear.

[alwayshave]

Sarah, It's wonderful that you were accepted by your buddies.

[Teri Ray]

Sarah,

Great story I am so happy that your friends were accepting. Best wishes.

[DMichele]

Sarah,
Beautiful story! You have great friends.

[Teresa]

Sarah,
I'm sure you know it will be that easier next time , I do wonder why it bothers us so much . Is it a case of putting the male side at the back our minds and thinking in femme mode ? I try to look at it now how a woman would deal with the situation , consider the weather first and dress accordingly .

Meeting my painting group for the first time posed the same problem , when they've never seen you before how far do you push the boat out , I was lucky because it was summer and cotton skirts with sandal or wedges were being worn by some women . As for the guys dressing up more , just goes to show how much respect they had for you .

Meeting guys is harder than meeting GGs , so you handled it well .

[Jenny22]

What a wonderful result! Happy for you. See you in DLV.

[JeanTG]

I was a flyer for many years and even though I haven't flown in 5 years I still have breakfast ever Saturday morning with the old gang. I told my two best flying buddies last year that I was transgender and going to live as a woman part-time.

Last week I told them I was entering transition. Today I told them that I had started HRT, and I arrived subtly dressed in women's clothes, namely women's jeans, women's denim shirt, sports bra and dressy winter booties. I also told the lady that runs the restaurant (she's half my age!) and she was effusive with praise and congratulations. The guys were generally ok with it but asked that I introduce them gradually to my female (real) self; one of them is 78 years old and open minded but has known me for 22 years and said it would take time to adjust but that he otherwise supports me.

And best of all I told an organizing committee for a World Congress that is held in Rome every 4 years; I am on the committee and we meet in Rome every fall. The head of the committee welcomed me with open arms and insisted that I should come in November.

So far the only negative has been, alas, my wife and that saddens me immensely. So like Sarah (lovely name that's also the name my trans daughter chose at her coming out... must be something in the water here...), it seems I picked my friends well. I wish it were so about my wife. I'd be happy to continue on as sisters or just platonic companions but it appears not possible.

[crissy7]

You have very good friends.Wish we all had friends like that.

[JuliaGirl]

Sounds perfect Sarah. Lovely day!!

[AimeeJ]

That's a great story. Those are real friends :)

[JenniferWhenCD]

What you have done is so important. Once everyone knows someone that is transgender the societal bias will start to disappear. Your actions make it easier for those that will follow you.