Should I dress my age?

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

I think that I need a reality check by someone other than me. I am probably the oldest person on this site. I have dressed as a female for many, many years. I dress elegantly and have fine clothing and beautiful wigs. I keep my body in great shape and have a female curvy figure and great legs. I sometimes go out to fine venues where there is dancing and socialization. On these occasions, between 5-8 women will go out of their way to say, "you look fantastic or even beautiful'. Very occasionally men will do the same. I think they have read me and are being nice. I love the extraordinary feeling of looking elegant, and the mirror most often says beautiful. I often wear an attractive blond wig and well fitting dresses or pant suits. Social mores say that I should wear a gray wig and no body fitting clothing, and no female my age should be out dancing.

What do you think? Should I act my age?
Kind Thoughts.
Jacqueline

[Teresa]

Jacqueline,
One problem in providing an answer , we don't know how old you are .

I'm 68 so you could say the dress in my avatar is a little too young on me , especially as a girl well over half my age was wearing the same one at our Xmas party . I might be a grandparent but I'm not going to dress like an old grandma . I feel comfortable with a hem line on or just above my knee , I like to wear heels at the appropriate occasion . There's no reason why a woman in her seventies can't still dress nicely but very few dress like a tart .

[Cheryl T]

Well, you don't say how old you are so we can't be sure you are the oldest.
Anyway, I'm in Teresa's range and my wife always tells me I look about 50 when I go all out. I dress for how I look and how I feel and the heck with what others think.
If you have the figure and the legs to wear clothing that is meant for lady much younger then why on earth would you want to go grey and dress your age??
I refuse to dress like an old lady. My heart is young and as long as my body can carry the look then I'm going younger. Of course I'm not going to try to look 30, but I'll be damned if I'm going to look my age.

[Robertacd]

How old are you? I have noticed many CD/TG my age tend to dress like my grandmother. But in general I say no you don't as long as you can pull it off without lying to yourself. I am in my mid 50's and often dress like a woman in her 20's or 30's when I go out dancing.

I was wearing a cold shoulder high/low dress from Torrid with fishnets and wedge booties last night. I got lots of compliments from the younger GG's and was even called a MILF! :eek:

[alwayshave]

Jacqueline, I dress my age and I am a never-pantser. I feel very comfortable in conservative dresses. You should dress however makes you feel best.

[Kimberly A.]

Jacqueline, I am much younger than you, I'm only 36 so all I can do is just reiterate the advice I have read on this forum..... Dress age appropriate. On the other hand, wear what you're comfortable wearing. I mean, I honestly don't believe someone like you would dress in very revealing clothing, something that maybe a teen girl or woman in her early-20s would wear. (I wouldn't either, because I don't have the body for it anyway. LOL).

[Alice Torn]

I am 65, and like you, love the elegant look, but i love gray wigs no, and that is all i have now, but i almost never go out anymore. I am six foot six!!

[Angela Marie]

I'm going to be 66 in a few months. I love leggings and tight dresses. I am naturally slender and exercise daily. Perhaps some think I should dress more conservative. That is, of course, their opinion. But I enjoy dressing in more form fitting and tight clothes. To each their own.

[Amelie]

You should dress and act the way you want to and not what others think you should do. In life you only do things that please yourself, don't try to please others, especially strangers.

I will always dress the way I want. In my life I do dress appropriate, that is what is appropriate for me and not what others think. There is no fun in life if one has to follow a set of rules on what is an appropriate way to live.

Jacqueline, if you enjoy the way you dress and enjoy the way you live then there is no reason to change that.

[Ceera]

“Act your age!” They said... “Fine,” I replied. “Then I will choose 27 as ‘my age’, because I feel that suits me. The fact that my ID says I am 62 is irrelevant!”

Age is a number, not a definition of who you are or how you must behave! I am 62, MtF trans, and have been living full time female for the last 18 months. I started dressing as a woman rather late in life, six years ago. And I quickly discovered that when I am presenting as a woman, most people honestly believed I was in the mid-20’s to mid-40’s age range! I love going out dancing, and have the energy to outpace ladies half my age. I am in excellent physical shape, with long, well-toned legs which my cisgender lady friends are jealous of! Not one of my wigs has ever had a single grey hair. I have a youthful face, with only very small wrinkles at the corners of my eyes. Now that I have a semi-permanently attached hair system, I enjoy having gorgeous dark auburn hair that falls to even with my arm pits. My natural hair is dyed to exactly match my hair system. I buy clothes at Hot Topic and other trendy stores, and they look great on me. Most of my skirts and dresses are mid thigh or higher, showing off my nice legs. I love living an active, energetic life. And I am fully accepted in my community just as I am.

So, why in the world would I want to change my look and behaviors to act more than 20 years older than I feel comfortable with? Most of the people I socialize with are much younger than me, and they feel I fit right in with their crowd. I did try a few social activities with people my age and older, and seriously felt I did not fit in with them at all! Besides, tge female part of my mind was repressed for so many decades that in terms of her own experiences in enjoying life, she is nowhere near my calendar age!

I have only had one friend suggest I should ‘embrace the grey’ and allow my hair to show the natural silver that would be expected at my age. My response was that my hair will be allowed to go grey when my face and body look like I ought to be going grey, and not until!

[kimdl93]

Yes. Age doesn?t mean there are 5 year increments. But think in broad terms. I?d wear what attractive and fit mature woman would wear, and I think that might include women from 50 to 80. For someone much younger, that range might be 20-50...give or take a few years.

Its more important to dress appropriately for the situation. Unless of course, you are home alone. Then have at it.

[Lana Mae]

Well, I am almost 69 and I wear a gray wig! I have had so many nice compliments on my wig from young ladies-late 20 to early 40! I dress conservatively but not necessarily age appropriately! As a matter of fact, I do not even consider it when buying clothes! I feel that my gray wig is appropriate for me! You go with what you feel is right for you! Hugs Lana Mae

[Aunt Kelly]

As usual, the best (most nuanced) answer is "it depends".
If your aim is to blend with your feminine peers (as defined by things like age, culture and venue) you should do so. That doesn't mean you have to give up a personal sense of style, but you will have to develop that sense within those constraints.
If, on the other hand, you don't worry about such things, there's no reason to not dress the way you want.
For me, it's a bit of a mix. My avatar photo is "full blend", making me look like the old lady I am at last year Unity Banquet, especially when compared to some of Anandrea's entourage, but a casual evening out will see me pushing the envelope of eccentric old aunt chic. It's still age appropriate, but definitely a bit edgy. It's all who I am.

[April Rose]

I am 69 and wear a gray wig because my skin is weather beaten enough that I can't pull off too young a look. Nonetheless I try to choose clothes that place me as a relatively fit young thinking older person. I love color too much to succumb to the grays and neutrals that they often advise for older women.

[Leslie Langford]

Age appropriate? Ummm...maybe you missed JLo and Shakira's performances (and outfits) during the recent Super Bowl half-time show. Cher and Tina Turner...did they ever worry about age limitations in the way they dressed, and both are in their 70's now? Shania Twain is not quite there yet, but she still dresses on stage like the "hottie" she continues to be.

Maybe the primary fashion choices for GG's these days include skinny, ripped jeans, sweatpants, leggings, oversized baggy tops, runners and/or flip-flops, or conversely, short gray hair, "Mom" jeans, "sensible" shoes and matronly outfits for the older crowd, but not for this "gurl".

I will continue to dress stylishly and elegantly as befits a sophisticated lady of "a certain age", and I will be the one who decides what that "certain age" will be in terms of what looks good on me - and that usually means about 10-15 years younger than my actual biological age (early 70's). As for the grunge-wearing GG's out there who have decided to give up trying to look their best, let me be your "wake up call" and raise the bar for you.

Yes, it can be a thankless job at times, but someone has to do it...:heehee: :daydreaming:

[RADER]

I am 72, almost 73, and I only dress indoor's. Being Handicapped, with mobile issues,
I just dress simply, not to any age.
rader

[Amelie]

Another thing. Having grey hair doesn't always mean one is old, young people dye their hair grey too.310919

[Jenny22]

Basically, all of the above. I'll be damned if I'm going to dress like a fashionable OLD lady, though I'm 85 years old. I'm told that my face, when made up, is that of a woman 50 to 60 yo. I dress to that age span and love it.

[Tracii G]

67 here and I wear what I like and see no reason to dress like a stodgy old dingbat.

[Zoeytgtx]

Jaqueline:
You probably have some idea of the age that others especially GG?s perceive you to be when presenting as a woman. That?s the target age you should be dressing to. We can?t get any younger by magic, but some of us have bern blessed by genetics and makeup to look younger than our genetic age. Figure out where you fit in and blend like that audience in the Northeast.

Zoey

[Alice Torn]

Leslie A big amen to your post!! Nothing is more beautiful to me, than a senior classy lady, with longer hair, in a knee length attractive dress or skirt combo and hose, and feminine shoes. Sad so few .

[Jean 103]

How can I dress my age, I?ve never been this old before.

Just be you. If you have a figure why now show it, I do.

It?s about being accepted just the way you are. This is the feed back you get. Although I don?t know how you look.

So with me at 64, it?s partly some expressing acceptance and I have had them say exactly that, others I guess think I?m pretty, I have my moments I guess.

[Sandi Beech]

One of my favorite things about dressing is to fool people as to what my true age is. Granted makeup and a wig only help a certain amount but it does make a difference and many GGs were surprised when I told them my age. so why not dress to look a bit younger. The only drawback is that my body did not handle some of the dance moves a couple of girls had me doing. I was pretty sore the next day but it was well worth it.

Sandi

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

Thanks for all of your comments and helpful encouragement. It is good to do a reality check occasionally
There are really a l lot of beautiful looking women who are near my age. Actually one gal who responded is my age, 85.
Amelie- I think that I will try a stylish gray wig like yours. You look grand.

[TheHiddenMe]

If you've made it to 85 and have been dressing for a long time, why do you care what other people think?

Just make yourself happy and go for it.

[Helen_Highwater]

Jacqueline,

Dressing with style and class is ageless, in fact it's often a sign of someone more mature. I have GG friends who are also of a certain age and they all continue to dress with style and grace and non of them look out of place when out socialising.

For me there's only one big mistake and that's to confuse dressing younger than your chronological age with dressing like a hooker but hey if that floats someone's boat that's their choice.

[CandaceNichole]

I have many outfits that would be "not age appropriate" Where's the fun in being "appropriate"?

[Krisi]

I say if you are going out in public you should dress your age. Unlike children's toys, clothes don't come with age labels, but you need to understand some basics. Miniskirts are not for the "senior" set. The same goes for tube tops.

Look around and notice what others your age are wearing. Dress as they do. You can aim for the younger part of the "senior" group, just look in the mirror or take a photo and then look to see how the outfit looks on you.

[jacques]

hello Jacqueline,
I think that -
If you are trying to "pass" in public without drawing attention to yourself then you should act and dress your age.
If you are an extreme extrovert then just do as you please.
If you dress in private no one will notice what you are wearing.
luv J

[bridget thronton]

Dress to make yourself happy

[April Rose]

In Today's "Femulate" blog, Stana makes the excellent point that you can dress to your body's age, not your chronological age.

[Amelie]

Thanks for all of your comments and helpful encouragement. It is good to do a reality check occasionally
There are really a l lot of beautiful looking women who are near my age. Actually one gal who responded is my age, 85.
Amelie- I think that I will try a stylish gray wig like yours. You look grand.

The picture I put up in my post was not a picture of me. Although I do have a grey wig, I never posted a pic online with it.. My avatar pic the wig is green but when put into a black and white mode it takes on a white/blue tint.

[Fran Moore]

All good responses, and I think it's important to remember that many cis people have preconceived notions as to whether we should even be out and about or even exist in the first place. Even like minded gender fluid or non binary folks, etc. may have their own opinions as to how one should present. Live your own truth, be happy with who you are or change it to satisfy yourself. In the end it is only your internal peace that should be considered. Feedback and affirmation can be important to many but doesn't necessarily require subscription. Personally, I think you look great, and if it pleases YOU that is all that really matters in the end, regardless of age.:battingeyelashes:

[Michaelasfun]

Wear what you like. As my Mom said, “If you got it flaunt it!!”

[Cheryl T]

Wow, if you've made it to 85 wear whatever the heck you want.
Damn the torpedoes, Full skirts ahead....lol

[Glenda58]

I'm 72 not only don't I dress my age I don't dress my gender. I have a friend who is a GG of 86 years and she still dresses up and looks great.

[Leslie Langford]

...Look around and notice what others your age are wearing. Dress as they do. You can aim for the younger part of the "senior" group, just look in the mirror or take a photo and then look to see how the outfit looks on you...

What others my age are wearing?

You mean like jeans, sweatpants, baggy tops, short, mannish "maintenance-free" hairstyles, running shoes and cross-body bags? Ain't gonna happen with this "gurl". If I am doomed to stand out on two counts because a) I am a crossdresser, and b) because unlike most GG's these days, I prefer to wear dresses, skirts, heels and makeup when I go out en femme, then so be it. I refuse to dress like a shlub. Of course, I don't dress like a teeny-bopper either by wearing crop or tube tops, miniskirts, long, dangly earrings or sky-high stilettos, nor do I have a particular compulsion to dye my hair fuchsia or lime green and get tattoos or body piercings. But I will wear skirts, dresses and modest heels even when going to a suburban shopping mall, and if that raises eyebrows among the more - ahem! - "casually dressed" soccer moms there, so be it. Their loss, not mine.

[Princess Chantal]

In the early years of my crossdressing I took heed of the advice from a transgender peer who tried to guide me in wearing what women in my age group (mid 20?s at the time) wore and didn?t wear. She advised me to stop wearing hosiery (eventhough it was my primary reason to crossdress) cause women don?t wear them any more or rarely ever did. I was led to buying the unstylish crap that Walmart tends to sell in order to present more casual everyday look. Well during that period, I became so dissatisfied with my crossdressing that I was pondering on walking away from it. Thankfully I came to my senses and wore what I want to. Hosiery no matter what!
Since then when someone gives me the same type of advice on how to dress, I tend to exaggerate even more of what they told me to not wear the next time I knew I was gonna see them. The skirt got shorter or the heels got higher or the more fancier for the next coffee meet up with them!

Btw my friend Krystal who is several years into retirement pulls off a look well younger than her age very well. She has 20 plus years on me and could look very eye pleasing in her mini skirts and highheels better than I have while I was in my 20’s and 30’s

[lingerieLiz]

I'm older than most any of you. I recently went to a friends birthday party. She looked elegant in her outfit. It was an expensive pant suite. She and her daughter have done modeling. By the way she turned 92. Many of the other women couldn't touch her.

[Tracy Irving]

I never pick clothing based on how happy I think it will make a stranger I don't care about. I will wear what I want to, regardless of age.

[Aunt Kelly]

Age appropriate? Ummm...maybe you missed JLo and Shakira's performances (and outfits) during the recent Super Bowl half-time show. Cher and Tina Turner...did they ever worry about age limitations in the way they dressed, and both are in their 70's now? Shania Twain is not quite there yet, but she still dresses on stage like the "hottie" she continues to be.

Those are performers, on a stage. Their attire is intended to draw attention. If a 50-something crossdresser wants to try to look like J-Lo, more power to him, but lets not pretend that just because a gorgeous, talented, 50 year old Latina, who keeps herself in exquisite shape, and who was assigned female at birth, can pull it off, he can too. Please...

[JenniferWhenCD]

I wear leggings a lot which tend to allow me to sorta fit in with the crowd when fully dressed, and sorta standout when dressed mostly male. I do spend a lot of time looking at what other women wear, but I think I tend to model my look more toward the layered look, a bit toward the LL Bean outdoor style. I don't have very many dresses and I wear them in public only occasionally.

So, I think I do enjoy being someone a bit different when dressed, more focused on the here and now, and less on the stresses of day to day male life.

[Rachelakld]

If I don't dress my birth gender, I'm sure as heck ain't going to dress my birth age :)

310972

[Stephanie47]

I have no idea what an 85 year old woman wears other than my mother-in-law. She wears jeans and graphic tee shirts. She also had a hard life and the wrinkles show the effects of working in the sun following the crops for many years. She also smoked cigarettes for many years. Her mind is sharp as a tack. Forget the fact she needs a walker now for stability.

If you have the assets to pull it off, then wear what you want. Throw caution to the wind. At 85 you have beaten the odds and should enjoy yourself. There are no do overs in life. As a word of advice to the younger girls here I would recommend taking care of your body. Minimize exposure to the sun. Use lotions. Keep your muscles toned so the sagging of aging does not set in.

I would shy away from a short mini skirt. The vast majority of mature women I have met in professional fields know what they want and how to get it. They have experience. They have confidence. They do not need gimmicks to attract attention of the kind they want.

Sometimes the person standing out in the crowd is the mature woman smartly dressed in the sea of young women wearing short mini skirts and revealing tops.

[Vintage4sarah]

I say if you are going out in public you should dress your age. Unlike children's toys, clothes don't come with age labels, but you need to understand some basics. Miniskirts are not for the "senior" set. The same goes for tube tops.

Look around and notice what others your age are wearing. Dress as they do. You can aim for the younger part of the "senior" group, just look in the mirror or take a photo and then look to see how the outfit looks on you.

Such practical advice Krisi. Many of us like to blend in with the public when out and about so Krisi's statement makes sense. Others have stated that we should dress for our body age and not our chronological age and this is so true also. Today, classy mature ladies wear a variety of outfits from midi-dresses, to jeans, to leggings, all with stylish boots and colorful tops. Many of these real woman are in their 60s and 70s with grey hair and they look great. Us older Tgirls, can surely emulate them with style and attitude.

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Jacqueline, We only get to go around once in this life, it's your life, don't waste it with regret. That said, I tend to dress a little younger than I am. How about a few pics?

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

Hi Brenda-
I can attach only one photo per day, so here is one from the back. Will post a front view in another outfit later on. Since this photo, I have lost another four pounds, am headed for 166, and will stop there. I do a simple set of core exercises for 30 min. each day that I am not doing some sports event like biking, etc.

[missjoann49]

Jacqueline, I would have never guessed 85. I looked at your aviator for a long time trying to take a wild guess on your age
Age is only a number and you look way much younger so dress the way you are most comfortable
You sure do show your beauty and not your age

[Genifer Teal]

I think it's a mixed bag. At some point maybe you should lean towards dressing your age. My goal is to dress to the environment I'll be in. This sort of has the same result because at some point we should stop going out 2 bars and clubs where the 20 year olds go. LOL I found the older crowd in my area which is age appropriate. They don't dress up too far yet I do. I often get pointed out as an example that's some of the other women should follow my lead and dress up more. What's most important is how comfortable you feel and if you feel overdressed that could lead to feeling uncomfortable. So if you're fine with it own it and have a good time. If someone does comment about the length of my skirt or whatever I tell them I'm breaking so many rules, that's the least of my concerns

[Suranne]

Of course you should dress your age. That goes without saying. It's what that age is that matters and that will be whatever age you want to be at that particular place and time. Get out there and have fun, however you want to do it. Being the Grande Dame of the site that's one privilege that you've certainly earned. Go on you.

[Majella St Gerard]

Wear what you want, as long as it looks good. If you're going to dress as a woman, dress as an attractive, stylish woman, if your face and body allow it. I say dress appropriate for your location, time of day and for your body type. You don't want to look ridiculous like an over the hill hooker that doesn't own a mirror. When in doubt ask a TRUSTED friend that will be straight and tell you the truth. I ask my sister and or my ex wife, and as my ex didn't care for my dressing, I know she will be brutally honest.
Be you, but be a stylish you. What's the sense of dressing up as a woman if you're gonna look like every other dowdy woman out there that take no pride in their appearance.
Just my opinion.

[Teresa]

Jacqueline,
If you were in politics , dressing to look young is a necessity , shame some don't pull it off !!

I have to say you are remarkable , at 68 I wonder about my dressing in the future .

[char GG]

by Jacqueline Vivaldi:
I can attach only one photo per day

Hi Jacqueline Vivaldi,

I just wanted to clarify that the picture rule is not one photo per day. Please review. https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php

Thanks.

[Lydianne]

You don't have to limit yourself to the same type of stuff every day. I know you wouldn't think it from reading these two threads, but you actually can wear different stuff on different days :eek:.

I know! It's crazy, right? :ft:.

Obviously the correct-way-to-crossdress-police would judge you based upon what's most convenient for whatever opinion they have on that day and in that thread, and totally ignore the times when you wore what doesn't suit whatever they're trying to charge you with at that time.

- L.

[Sherrii]

I think you should dress how you want to as long as it is appropriate for where you are going and allowing that you can "push" it a little. If you are at home dress exactly how you wish to! Sherrii

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

I promised a picture from the front and it is attached.

Last night I had a great evening. I went dancing at a really elegant venus. I wore a new blue pants suit with an elegant design and blue color that magnified the blue of my eyes. At least 20 people came up to me to say how beautiful I was. The best was a young lady who said "I want you to know that you are a beautiful dancer.....and you are gorgeous". I have never viewed myself as a needy person, but I was thrilled by the comment.

[Kelly589]

I say wear what you are comfortable in!

[Beverley Sims]

Dress as young as you like, I am still a honey blonde.

Just don't let the pink fog blind you and you go out wearing something ridiculous.

[KatieTv]

I dress 20s. I'm 40

[Maid_Marion]

I dress out of Kohl's Junior's part of the store. I'm an petite XS hourglass and their clothes fits wonderfully right off the rack! So does most of the XS clothes from VS. I'm in my mid 50s but have taken very good care of myself since I was ten.

Marion

[suzanne]

I am almost 60, so probably younger than you. But old enough that I should be careful of dressing too young, like maybe a twentysomething. And my wife doesn't want to see me in anything too revealing, or "sleazy", as she puts it. I mostly agree. I don't want to look ****ty.

Where we disagree is on skirt length. My wife thinks longer skirts, below the knee, are appropriate for a woman my age. My female friends have convinced me that age doesn't matter, its whether you have the legs for it. And they tell me I have legs "to die for". So most of my skirts are about 3 inches or so above my knees and I love it. I have no dresses below the knee. In ever other way that matters, my clothing choices are tasteful and age appropriate for any situation, be it shopping, work, or social gatherings.

[lingerieLiz]

I'm really OLD you kids lol. Anyway when I was in my 20s I wore dresses that my wife said were too old for me. Back then a lot of older women wore nylon/rayon dresses. I liked them, because you could see my lace slip and bra under them, but today I would agree they were too old fashion back then. I had a friend who was in her late 70s that wore cute outfits. She was a fun person. I wear nice outfits that give me a finished look. As for hair color, I know women who wear black hair wigs. I'm not going to wear a short dress. It all depends on where you live too.