Will I Be Recognized?

[Deborah2B]

I saw this meme on Tumblr and thought it was very fitting for those that are scared about going out into the real world dressed as a woman.

[Teresa]

Deborah,
It's perfectly true even if I don't walk down the High Street in my underwear !!

I've had to spell it out to people I knew and even then it took several minutes for the penny to drop .

The mixed situation is trickier although it hasn't proved a problem , some of my old friends in my painting group also know me in male mode others only know me as Teresa ( or Terri to them ) it really hasn't made any difference . It all depends on how you wish to present yourself when out in the RW .

[Stephanie47]

Does that mean "If you can recognize yourself, they can too!"

[Vicky_Scot]

I would argue anyone looking in the mirror dressed en femme would recognise themselves as they know its themselves even if someone they
know would not recognise them. x

[Robertacd]

I have yet to see anyone here post a before and after picture where they are unrecognizable en-femme.

The only people I know that can even come close to that is a few of local Drag Queens. But that's just because of the over the top makeup, giant wigs, and all totally changes their appearance.

[Helen_Highwater]

Deborah,

I posted (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?268795-Is-that&highlight=)a little while ago about the dramatic changes to be seen in the Boy Vs Girl section.

One of the replies;


Helen,

I recently started a thread " How easy are you to recognize when dressing" that got 88 replies. I have been within five feet of a longtime former employee and his wife who all know me, face to face and they didn't recognize me. I've walked past other employees at car shows and they haven't shone any signs of knowing who I am. If you are not with someone they would associate you with (spouse or friend), or in a highly recognizable vehicle, or in a location they associate you with, your transformation will fool most people.

Suzi Q

When we look in the mirror even with significant transformation achieved we still know it's us so not recognizing ourselves is difficult. We may like what we see and we may be aware of just how different we look but it's only once we test it in the RW that we really know for certain.

[kimdl93]

Pretty sure that anyone who knows me would recognize me regardless of how I am dressed. My iPad does.

[Tracii G]

I ran into my daughter and son in law one time and they walked right past me.
A lot of it has to do with the people you are worried about.
If they know you dress then yes if they don't know they would never expect to see you dressed enfemme so more than likely they see what looks to be a woman so therefore it couldn't be you.
Back in 2010 I was having dinner with a GG friend and a man I worked with and his wife sat two tables over.
All thru dinner he would glance over not a stare just a normal glance.
Never a word at work was ever said so my guess is he didn't recognize me.

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

Whether you are recognized by a friend or relative really depends on how carefully you have dressed and made up yourself. How you carry yourself and how you walk. I have always believed, but not tested, the idea that even my wife would not recognize me if she sat 10 ft. away. A few weeks ago I was in a fine hotel lobby in line and I was standing behind a young woman who glanced at me and whirled around and said,"You rock....I mean it you really rock.". Had I been dressed up nicely as I usually do as a guy, she would not have even glanced at me for more than a microsecond.

[docrobbysherry]

I think it may be implying trans r delusional!?:brolleyes:

[JenniferWhenCD]

I was shopping last Saturday afternoon at a local upscale shopping center and as I was walking around inside an Urban Outfitters looking for skinny jeans I saw my neighbor and her daughter. Although my natural hair is currently down to the middle of my back (thus no wig), my biggest concern was the purse I was carrying which is a distinive tooled leather that I use in all modes of dress. I quietly walked around to the other side of the store and out into the obscurity of the street. Would she have noticed me? Not sure, but at 6' 1" (186cm I think) I do stand out a bit! Maybe, in some ways, I wish she had seen me.

[mbmeen12]

Someone at work and who worked with me personally, just met my sister at a restaurant. She jokingly said "she looked like me in drag. My facial features must be very familiar and something I dont notice in myself or in my sister.

[Krisi]

I think it's possible to do the crossdressing thing to the point where you are not easily recognizable. That is, people who know you wouldn't recognize you walking down the street or shopping in the mall.

Where it changes is when there are outside things to connect the female you to the male you. Obviously, walking out your front door and getting into your car world be one of these things. Being in the company of your wife is another. Hanging around places where you hang out as a male would help people to recognize you.

Giving people time to study you gives them a chance to recognize you. Sitting at a table in a restaurant for twenty minutes is an example.

[abby054]

Despite many easy opportunities, no one has indicated that they recognized me as my male self when I am en femme.

How would I most likely get recognized? By my car.

I drive a ?theft resistant? 30+ year old Buick. Many of my friends and employees over the years have told me they knew I was nearby because they recognized my ?distinctive? car nearby.

[Teresa]

The recognition situation is an odd one , if many admitted it they would love to be recognised , to be told you make a great woman and hope everyone realises it . The problem comes when others aren't so impressed by it so we end up falling off that Pink Cloud with quite a bump !

For me it's gone round in a circle as I progressed from being hidden deep in the closet . Now I prefer not to be recognised as a man but at times I've found I've had to reveal the truth when they haven't realised . When I had new tyres fitted I bought them from a GG who I'd photographed her wedding , the same situation occured when I went for a coffee in a shop owned by another GG who was a bride I'd taken pictures of , even face to face I had to spell it out and then it took a few moments before the penny dropped .

[Lana Mae]

It all depends! My son said he would walk right past me if we met on the street! The other day, a lady who I worked with that was out with complications with her pregnancy saw me in the drug store and said Harry is that you? She then said she saw me and said to herself I recognize that face! She was complimentary and was happy all was going well with Lana! So, it just depends! It also depends on if you are with your wife who people associate you with! As was mentioned, a unique car or something that ties to you! Generally however, people are looking for male you and do not notice female you! Just my $0.02! Hugs Lana Mae

[Karmen]

I think if you put up enough makeup, a wig that changes your hair style considerably and if you hide your most recognisable features, like tattoos etc, someone who is passing by, won't recognise you. If they have time to look at you closely, like in photos, hi-res video, or up close in person, you really have to look different not to be recognised by someone who knows you well. I know I can do part one, but not part two, so it's always a possibility to get outed by people I know. I think it happened already, but I was lucky a person didn't confront me and is keeping that secret for her self as far as I know.

[kayegirl]

Yesterday I had to deliver a package to a friend, who knows about but has never seen Kaye, either in photos or flesh. My friend owns a hairdressers salon, and I took the package there. It was only when I spoke to her that she realised who I was. Later in a text message she said that she had not recognised me at first. I must admit that I was very pleased with her compliments.

[Beverley Sims]

I have had double takes but never recognition.

[KymG]

I like to think I wouldn't be recognised, made yes, but hopefully not cover blown, as it were.
On the other hand, im not confident enough to put it to the test, and that's why I wont post face pics.

[Vicky_Scot]

mbmeen I was laughing about this the other day. I usually just dress but no make up or wig etc.

The other week i decided to go for it, full make up, wig, nails and toe nails painted, jewellery and clothes of course.

My wife came home and after saying "hiya sexy" which i love she said "OMG you and ??, our youngest daughter look so
alike when you are done up. She took a pic and we compared myself and my daughter and believe me it was scary how much
we looked alike. The only thing I can say is my daughter is beautiful so I will take that as a compliment. x

[alwayshave]

I look like my sister when all dressed up. Fortunately she lives 500 miles from me.

[Danielle_cder]

Honestly there is no better disguise... I’ve walked right past family members in the store.

[Suranne]

The fact that a person, any person that the average Jane or Joe sees on the street is a cross dresser is so far down the list of prirorities for them that by the time they've remembered that thing that they had to do which they'd forgotten, you've gone on by and they've moved on to the next thing. To notice someone is a cross dresser, and then, not only a cross dresser but also someone that they know takes so much mental effort that it just doesn't happen (most of the time). Yes, we notice it, because it matters to us, so it's at the front of our mind and not, as with the average Jane or Joe, at the back of the average persons mind. We've been out in the past, me and my partner and when we've got back, I've said to her, did you see the cross dresser in M&S and the answer always is "No".

[Kelly Pearson]

I think it's incredibly unlikely....that's not to say impossible though. The odds are massively against it

[Sallee]

Probably not but it can happen I had a friend once comment on who was that woman driving my car

[MonicaPVD]

I've posted about this topic a few times but two weeks ago, I literally bumped into a woman from work. She looked up and looked at me straight in the eyes from two feet away. She blushed, apologized profusely for bumping into me and was on her way. Not a second look, absolutely nothing. We are coworkers and have been in the same division for years. People are in their own little bubble and, as someone said earlier, imagining you in women's clothes is the absolute last thing on anyone's mind.


Probably not but it can happen I had a friend once comment on who was that woman driving my car

Your car. Your wife. Your house. Things that remind people of you and only you. Otherwise, not likely.

[binair10]

Not if you dress to blend in. I walked passed a neighbour not long after I started going out during the day. She did not recognise me and she only lives about 8 doors from me. I go out with a lady friend and during our outings we usually pass a school when the kids are coming out. I did not get a second glance from any of them (teenagers, which surprised me no end. I am coming up to 79 and very passable so can get away with looking like a mother/aunt.

If you go out try not to make yourself visible. The more natural you look the less chance you have of being noticed. That is unless you want to show yourself off.


Julie.

[Tricia Lee]

I haven't ran into people I know a lot, but I have seen co-workers while I was out enfemme. Not sure they even looked directly at me, but there were never any repercussions.

One time I did look up from a rack of clothes at a Sears, and my Aunt was standing 5 feet from me. No reaction from her at all, and we even smiled at each other.

I think if you don't have any distinguishing features that stand out in male mode, then you aren't likely to be recognized if you do a really good job with hair, clothes, and makeup. I get read for sure, but not recognized. My makeup stylist friend who has spent loads of time with me in both modes assures me that I'm unrecognizable when enfemme.

[Patience]

Probably not but it can happen I had a friend once comment on who was that woman driving my carHold on, that's only half the story! How did you wriggle out of that one?

Once I was out with friends en femme and met some other folks with whom I hung out all evening. The next day, I went to one of my old friends' house for a party wearing my regular guy clothes (I went there after work) and one of the new people I hung out with was there. I said hello and started talking to them and she gave me this quizzical look as if we had never met before. In her defense, she hugged me with more than the usual firmness when she finally realized who I was, but that episode drove home the fact that people basically see my male and fem sides as two different people.

[kaleyg]

I was all but certain that no one would recognize me, until I dared to reach out to an old friend on facebook. I have always longed to have a facebook friend who knew me as a guy, I don't know why. I figured since he's gay, he would be safe. I sent the friend request, and boom, he sent my guy-self a message saying, "I just got a friend request from someone who I swear is you in a wig. What's going on?" I chickened out and said, "I'll explain later, lol." And I never did. He may have thought I was being pranked. I'm still too chicken to 'fess up. But why did I want to friend him, but only if he didn't recognize me first? I'm a mess.

[Patience]

Oh no, no facebook for Patience, thank you very much. Don't forget that fb does vile things like suggest friends to you...and suggest you as a friend to others. Others who may know guy you and even recognize you dolled up.

I do have a Twitter account for my fem persona, but Twitter allows aliases and things of that sort, so I feel my anonymity is preserved a little better.

[Joanne108]

My wife thought I was posting pictures of her on line. She got mad! Then she realized it was me! So yeah I guess no one would recognize you. That is unless you do something to reveal yourself.

[MarinaTwelve200]

No worries for me--I look entirely different in makeup----And I also experiment with different looks, and each of those are drastically different. Indeed, I really can't properly decide which of my many looks is the "Female Me". ;)

[MonicaPVD]

This is a topic that I suffered over for years, so I find myself coming back to this thread. Another recent anecdote, this one in reverse: I went to a nearby fetish fair dressed in drab work clothes and ran into a transwoman I used to hang out with exclusively while dressed. We hadn't seen each other in around four months after going out very often for a while. I walked up to her and smiled. She is younger and very attractive and gave me that "who is this jerk and what is he about to say" look for a moment. As soon as I said hello, she recognized my voice and yelled out "OMG, Monica!" and gave me a big hug. She said that she never made the connection until I spoke.

[Glenda58]

I wasn't recognize by my ex girlfriend in the mall as I walked by her. And my wife didn't know it was me when I was posting a pic of me online and she walked up behind me.

[Tricia Lee]

I mentioned that my makeup artist assured me I'm not recognizable. There was more to that story....

She had another CD customer who did have a significantly unique characteristic. I think she said something about a gap in his teeth. Well, this other customer was enfemme at some kind of a drag event, and carrying on in a less than lady-like way. Some people who knew him from his work were there too, and they did recognize him. From what she says, he worked in some capacity in the education system, and was let go as a result of all this.

I don't know the person, or any further details. Just wanted to pass that along as a potentially big downside. I guess each individual has to weigh their own risks.

[MonicaPVD]

Tricia, why do you have to go there? You heard from your makeup artist who heard that another client was outed for "carrying on in a less than lady-like way." What does that have to do with the price of bat soup in China?

All you are doing is stricking fear in the heart of our newbies. If you weren't there and you didn't hear it from someone who was there, it's fiction. Even if it did actually happen as described to you, that person was likely acting in an outrageous manner and brought the undue attention upon herself.

[Kandi Robbins]

Being the least passable gal on the planet, out at least 500 times, it still bothers me that we feel we cannot go out. There are reasons (spouse, children, etc.) and excuses. I understand reasons, but there are no excuses, get out there!

[Tricia Lee]

Huh?

Well, at a minimum I'm responding to the OP meme. It says "If". There are potential consequences involved. Living in a dream world ends once you walk out the door.

I'm all for getting out in the world. I support it because I've done it. A lot.

But if you are going out you'd better exercise some judgement along the way.

And Kandi! Stop being modest. You look great! In pics, and in person :)