I think I was made!!

[Kimberly A.]

Hey y'all! :)

Well, I'm home for the moment and I was able to go out dressed again tonight, (a full report complete with pics will be coming tomorrow).

Any old how, of course I went to Walmart while dressed, like I always do. I picked up a few things, then went to the self-checkout to pay. The lady employee working the self-checkout said to me, "Ma'am?" I said in my feminine voice, "Yes?" She said, "Do you watch 'Ru Paul's Drag Race'?" I smiled at her and said, "No, I don't". Then she said, "Oh I love Ru Paul!" And that was about it..... However, her mentioning "Ru Paul's Drag Race" made me believe that she made me out to really be a guy! LOL

I have no idea what gave me away and I was too afraid to ask her..... Maybe it was my wig? My legs? My arms? I have no clue, but I'm pretty sure she didn't buy that I was a woman. LOL I don't care though, I had fun being out dressed. ;)

[Patience]

It’s nice when store staff have enough presence of mind to address one by the gender one's expressing rather than one's actual gender.

I can also see how (and why) shopping at a place like walmart can be appealing to folks like us. It seems to be a generally more tolerant environment as to how people choose to present themselves. Not necessarily a good thing in all cases.

I’m glad you had a pleasant experience and I have no idea how she clocked you, but generally in my outings I avoid disguising my voice or using self checkouts. My voice is not that convincing and I find that self-checkouts make one seem one's embarrassed and/or trying to avoid contact, which can be a giveaway. Also, self checkouts give big stores a chance to cut down on staff and salaries, which is why I recommend using the regular checkout whenever possible.

[Teresa]

Kimberly ,
I'm afraid we have to accept too many tell-tales . The SA may have been fishing for a response but you're right you can't go asking WHY ! The less you think about it the less the problem becomes , also appreciate they aren't always reacting because they have read you . Being TG and seen as such isn't so bad , we may intrigue them because they haven't met one before .

[Jean 103]

She was just being nice, looking for a quick exchange.

Try looking at it from a different angle. From a place where this is normal, this is just a stranger being nice and saying hi.

How you look is an expression of who you are, feel or whatever. I would also take it as a complement, that she felt comfortable enough with you to engage you in conversation. As you are different, you would be the more interesting one to talk to.

Next time you see her I want you to look at her, smile and say hello, hi nice day, or some other greeting. You can also just flash a quick smile, it's another way to say hi.

What I'm trying to say , try letting down your guard, relax your not in danger. I think you will find a new world will open up for you or not. At any rate I think you will enjoy life more.

I would also like to add that you are justified in how you feel and please continue to share those feelings.

[char GG]

It's hard to know the answer to your "why" question.

However, many times it's the "walk" that gives CDers away. The walk is harder to disguise under clothes, wig, or other mannerisms.

The nice thing was that she was friendly and engaging in a conversation with you on a subject she thought you may have been familiar with. It's great that you enjoy your outings. :)

[NancySue]

Yes, It is fun going out dressed. I think many of us have had a similar experiences...I have. Sometimes, I think it?s female intuition, ESP. So far, no embarrassing encounters. My best one was with a SA in Macy?s hosiery department. We began chatting when she told me it was time for her lunch break....and would I like to join her. I, initially hesitated, but thought..?why not?? It was very pleasant. The half hour passed very quickly. Oh yes, I bought several pairs of pantyhose and thigh highs. A week later, I returned, but she wasn?t there. I was so looking forward to another lunch date.

[Helen_Highwater]

Kimberly,

There are a few, a very few, within our community that can pass the face to face test. It's one thing to walk about doing the shopping etc. and to pass largely un-noticed. Once you engage one to one it's a whole different scenario.

For me my yard stick, the measure of success is just how the interaction goes. As long as the SA or who ever you're talking to treats you well, in a civil, polite and hopefully engaging way then chalk that up as a positive. Being read, it goes with the turf. Just be confident in your presentation and be polite and sincere in how you interact with people and things will be fine.

[Sallee]

Yes you were made. It happens all to often.But honestly for the most part no one cares. I thin the SA wanted to confirm what she thought. It may have been fun to answer here is a deep male voice just to see her reaction. Then maybe you could have questioned her as to why you were made. It does sound like she had some doubt so good job

[Tracii G]

Jean 103 is so right with her post.

[Robertacd]

I'm pretty sure she didn't buy that I was a woman. LOL I don't care though, I had fun being out dressed. ;)


That's the attitude you need to have. Once I stopped worrying and trying to %100 pass a whole new world opened up for me.

[Aunt Kelly]

Yes, but... that clerk would never have asked a GG if she was a Ru Paul fan, so note completely woke.

[Majella St Gerard]

What gave you away was the fact that you are a man wearing women's clothes. Passing 100% is very hard to do and not many of us can do it, I know I don't.

[JenniferMBlack]

I think if we are totally honest with ourselves we know there will always be something to give it away. All I truly hope for when I go out is to be treated decently by who ever I encounter. I am fine with if you don't have anything good to say don't say anything at all. So she made you but she was polite and called you Ma'am that is a win in my book.

[kimdl93]

I totally agree with Jeans comments. We will be read, and its a good thing when it allows us to engage in a constructive conversation. Ive had many and frankly, afterwards, have felt much better about myself and the world around me.

[Stephanie47]

One thing I have come to realize over the years is the mind's eye sees what it wants to see. Even if I am in male mode that is evident when I see a photograph of myself taken immediately after looking in a mirror. All those minor or major imperfection that were not noticed looking in the mirror show up in the photograph. I do think she clocked you. If this Walmart worker is any good at her job she is looking for aberrations in behavior. She is not paid to just stand around. She should be looking for shoplifters or people needing assistance. Studies have shown self check out areas can be notorious for theft. Was your "feminine" voice really feminine to the listening ear?

The key is whether you were having a positive experience? If she clocked you as a male wearing women's attire and trying to pass as a woman, i.e., "feminine" voice, I think it was a legitimate question to ask a customer. I always have minor conversations with cashiers all the time. I was a cashier/stocker while in college. It can get really really boring without striking up some conversation. If I am wearing one of my baseball caps with my US Army unit designation on it I get lots of conversations. If I did not want to have those interactions for personal reasons I would not wear those baseball caps.

[Krisi]

The comment about the TV show indicates that she knew you were a male dressed as a woman. How, I can't tell you without photos or better, videos.

Ideally, she would not have made that comment, she would have treated you like any other woman.

Passing while walking down the street is one thing, but getting up close and personal, it can be very difficult.

[Beverley Sims]

Yep! Take it in your stride, I have had similar leading comments but I have given positive replies hopefully throwing the questioner off guard.

For a reply to your question I would have said there are better presented drag shows around with less drama and even real life episodes of the transgendered community are far more interesting. :-)

I think you are right.

Get to know the checkout assistant and maybe you will find a friend.

[Asew]

You were made, but they seemed totally fine with it.