How do you handle the "it's too much trouble moment"

[Aka_Donna]

Last night was a too much trouble moment. Perhaps you have also had one of those and can share your solution.

Background: can dress at home but not out to neighbors so can go out in yard if coverup, but no further.

So I worked all day non dresses as we were purging some things in the garage, no not clothes, that we were never going to use and had people coming by for pickups. Thus I was wearing polo and jeans. It was a blah day as heavy cloud cover and light rain almost all the time.
Get off work and couldn't wait to get out of jeans. Not even female jeans, give me a skirt or dress. But then it's cold out and can't wear without hose or tights and when have to walk dogs in front yard, need to throw over a jogging suit. But tired and just too much bother. So yesterdays solution was to just grab a pair of comfortable leggings and forget all the rest. I go out in the front yard with leggings and no coverup is needed. Not idea, a wanted to wear skirt, but too much hassle.

Have you had moments like that?

[Allison Chaynes]

All the time. It's too much work to wear a dress or skirt/blouse to only have to take it off two hours later because kids will be home from school/I have to go to work/someone MIGHT show up to buy something I'm selling online.

[NancySue]

Interesting thread. I can?t say I?ve ever had a ?too much hassle? dressing moment. I dress, to some degree, daily. I have a supportive wife, but, like you...it?s Ok to dress around the house..maybe in the yard. Where I have experienced this feeling has been with makeup. Sometimes, it?s just not worth the hassle...just the minimum..eyebrows, mascara and lipstick.

[bridget thronton]

It seems that is too much hassle if I have to cover up to go out - I have gone out fully dressed with my wife but usually not in my own front yard.

[Tracy Irving]

Short skirt, long coat. Now your secret is hidden from the view of the neighbors.

[Teresa]

SirDonna,
It's never too much trouble when I consider the alternative .

[Alice Torn]

Have had lots of time to dress, for a long time, but too tired, lazy, overwhelmed by other things.

[JenniferWhenCD]

I wear leggings eveywhere, so they are the perfect coverup for me, nothing out of the ordinary!

[Tracii G]

I think you are making a big deal out of nothing.
Don't try and put the blame on the weather or some other reason you just didn't want to put the effort in.
Don't get mad just admit it.

[Stephanie47]

There have been times when I have had ample time to be en femme and have foregone the opportunity. Why? Just because I did not feel a calling. If I were ever to find out why I have the need to be en femme, then I maybe would be able to figure out what was missing when I did not seize the opportunity. For me it is all or nothing except for sleeping in a nylon gown and nylon panty. It's a dress and all the proper undergarments, heels and hosiery and a wig. I forego the makeup as many GG's do.

[Jemima Stephens]

I have the Opposite issue in that I think "I need to focus and get something done so don't have time to dress..." then 5 minutes later find myself getting dressed! :D

[Krisi]

It takes a lot of work for a man to look like a woman. Women have the advantage that when they roll out of bed, they look like women. For men, it's a lot more work (to look like a woman). So yes, sometimes I'll just not dress because it's too much trouble.

[susan54]

It is why I go out dressed rarely now. I used to get pedicures regularly so had to keep the appointments but I always asked myself why I was doing this to myself. Went out dressed yesterday for first time since August and I could only cope by making really sure I had everything organised the night before. Women do not have the stress of having to carry their shoes, coat and wig separately. I once left home without my skirt and had to go back. It always seems easier just to stay at home in a nice outfit. I also don't like wearing make-up so staying at home saves on that. I hate putting on or taking off nail varnish but love having it on. I painted my nails on Saturday evening and they are already very badly chipped so if I had been going out today I would have had to do them again. Too much hassle.

[Beverley Sims]

Used to have those problems, now I can't be bothered to do makeup properly on occasions.

[April Rose]

This isn't really a CD only problem. I've had times when I blew off a motorcycle ride because I was too lazy to change into boots and leathers, or a bicycle ride because I was too lazy to change into spandex, or pedal. I've also had times when, fully dressed as a woman and cooking, I realized I was lacking a key ingredient and had to change to go out and get it. When I got back, having the energy to change back to feminine clothes was a 50-50 proposition.

There are other times when it works the opposite. If I am facing a lot of routine household chores and I don't feel like doing them, I will change into a dress and apron and before I know it the chores are done.

[Davina Katherine]

Every time I get dressed I feel the "this is too much!!" feeling. And all of it is because of the FACE. First the very close shave (hopeful with no blood), then everything, EVERYTHING related to makeup. I always feel like it too much trouble. But once it's done and I'm dressed, it's all worth it.

I handle it by accepting the feeling as simply part of my process. (And dreaming of have laser beard removal:daydreaming:)

[docrobbysherry]

No, Donna, not for about 20 years! When I began dressing about 25 years ago I used to be thrilled and often excited just to throw on a few fem clothing items.:D

But, since I'm simply a CD, for years I either go all the way or can't be bothered!

It's not that it's "too much trouble", it's just that the thrill of a putting on a few things is gone!:straightface:

[JeanTG]

Well I recently came out as trans, and am on HRT. The HRT does take the edge off and the compulsion to doll up all the time isn't there anymore. At home its most likely women's jeans, a top or women's denim shirt. Always a bra and panties. Instead of a wig I'll often wear a bonnet (like the girls undergoing chemo do), and no makeup or just a bit of lipstick. I have a couple of very light cotton bonnets that will be perfect for hot weather in the summer. Yeah I can't go out like that because my beard is dark. It's not too thick but it is noticeable. So to go out I have to do the full makeup thing. Depending on whether I'm just heading to the hardware or grocery store, or a more social event, I'll dress with varying degrees of casual all the way to dresses or skirts depending on the circumstances. And if I stay out too long, the beard shadow starts to be irksome. I'm supposed to start laser on March 30 to fix that. But given the circumstances that's likely to be postponed.

In other words apart from the beard shadow issues, pretty much as normal women do. Essentially though I almost always wear women's clothes now except in a few rare situations.

[Rhonda Jean]

There are a lot of times it's too much trouble for me. I'm all by myself and can do whatever I want whenever (well, outside of work). I've never been one to dress to stay in, and most of the time I have no desire to go "all the way" for any ordinary outing. Very few women do. My standard male mode errand-running is leggings and a tunic top, and I almost always carry a purse. There are times when I go more male than that, but those times are fairly infrequent. I remember the days when I wouldn't miss any opportunity to dress. I might spend two hours getting all made up and dressed for just an hour or so out anywhere. I'll admit that I kind of miss having that much enthusiasm for it. I just don't anymore. But, I know it'll come back and I'll have the right motivation and the right opportunity to be just as into it as I ever was.

[Maria 60]

I just had that feeling on Saturday, the house was empty and I was relaxing on the couch. I went to my room to get dressed pretty, and then something came over me. I felt like just watching and watch a movie and chilling out and thought if I get dressed I'm going to have to be a little on guard if anyone came home. I ended up putting on male clothes and when my wife came home she was surprised I didn't get dressed. I told her that I was tierd and just wanted to relax and couldn't be bothered to be on guard if someone came home. She gave me a "huh". Sometimes I guess we just want to relax I guess and be comfortable and not worry.

[Micki_Finn]

Well generally when I feel like dressing is “too much trouble” then I (gasp) don’t dress! It seems like a pretty obvious solution.

[Angie G]

Never had that happen. :hugs:
Angie

[Asew]

I have felt this. My wife biggest restriction is to not dress so that it might cause bullying for our kids. Over a year ago, one day I changed my outfit 14 or 15 times due to getting the kid on the bus, going for a run, a doctor's appointment in the morning, getting kid off the bus, bringing another kid to his therapy appointment. That night I complained to my wife about how much I had to change my outfit. Her response was along the lines "is it worth it?" Some days it is. Other days it caused more stress (usually on stressful days already). Why not just wear male mode and avoid the changes. I would push back at my wife why do I have to change. It was hard to be mindful of her pacing of acceptance, when I just wanted to just pick and wear one outfit a day without ever changing.

But I understand and still compromise. I avoid having it be too much trouble by thinking ahead. If I would have to change within an hour, I would just not change (such as getting back from an appointment and having to get the kid off the bus soon). Also, I started to roughly plan out my outfits for the week, something closer to male mode on busy days (so small or no change needed), a dress on the nicest weather day, and my default t-shirt and skirts on most other days. But also since then, I have been given more freedom to dress more places so less changes overall. I rarely think it's too much trouble anymore.

[Teresa]

Bev,
That made me smile , occasionally things don't go right or there's a bit less enthusiasm , then people tell you how great you look ! I just smile and offer to buy a coffee and perhaps check they're wearing the right glasses .

[abby054]

If an activity is not worth the effort or does not pay the bills, I will find something else to do. Doing nothing is sometimes an option. Not to worry, the pink fog will be back and soon.

[Maid_Marion]

I was wearing my new rainbow sports bra and decided to go a new restaurant when they first opened for lunch. And some nail polish that didn't look as good as I thought it would.
Too much trouble to take it off. So I just went out on a restaurant and Target run with a bra and pink nail polish. Like anyone panic shopping at Target would notice!

Marion

[Denice]

No trouble for me, cause I only have women's clothes.

[BTWimRobin]

I always seem to have the desire to be dressed. On the days I can dress, I usually don't. Why? As I plan out my day I realize how much I will be out and about or how much my wife is home (she's accepting but I don't want to push my luck). Then I think about how many times I am going to need to change during the course of the day. I just put on panties and say it'll have to do. There's always tomorrow....

[Teresa]

Robin,
Once you find that freedom the daily changes get less , I have my home to run and chores to do . I still find wearing a skirt more comfortablle than wearing trousers or jeans , so if I've been out in them I'll usually slip a skirt on for comfort even if I'm cooking a meal or pushing the vacuum cleaner round .

[tinadee]

I feel that "too much trouble moment" often. Tell myself, dress tomorrow. I have to get faster at doing the makeup and transition. I'm getting better every time, I think. I want to have electrolysis on my beard, to make the transition much easier, I think. But it is always worth it to get dressed. I love being feminine.

[Krisi]

The "too much trouble" thing works fine for crossdressers, but for those living full time as women, you have to do it every day, too much trouble or not.

[Teresa]

Krisi,
Thanks for that , it's a life that's chosen , if it feels normal it's not looked on as too much trouble , I look at it as it came at a price to be the person I wanted to be , it does get easier to achieve and maintain it .

Every Wednesday morning at 6.00am I get up to do my normal shave , have breakfast, wallk the dog , get my makeup on and dress to be able to walk into the art room at 9.00am and meet the other members of the painting group . It feels so good , no way could I say it's too much trouble to be able to do that .

[JeanTG]

Being in voluntary isolation with the COVID-19 crisis (I'm a well-controlled diabetic), I am not going out these days except for the bare necessities and then only very rarely. And since my wife is winding down her career and is retiring at the end of the month, I'm living with someone hostile. So I am not bothering to get made up. I try to get pretty once a week though, to avoid sinking into doom and gloom. Otherwise it's all casual women's clothes/jeans, no makeup.

[jacques]

hello SirDonna,
I have been going through a month of "too much trouble" - broke it tonight and feel marvelous. It was well worth the trouble!
luv J

[Krisi]

Otherwise it's all casual women's clothes/jeans, no makeup.

Makeup is a variable thing. Many women don't wear makeup for everyday, but of course, they still look like women.

One can spend an hour doing eyeshadow, mascara, contouring, etc. and that's a lot of trouble. I normally just put some makeup on my upper lip to cover the beard shadow and some lipstick. I can't feel "girly" if I can see the whiskers.

[Teresa]

Krisi,
You'd love my sister in law ! On a couple of occasions she gave me twenty minutes to half an hour to put my makeup and dress before she dropped in for coffee , I managed on it and even had a few spare minutes to push the vacuum cleaner round quickly .