I think society.......

[Vicky_Scotland]

I think society is more acceptable to a man coming out as gay rather than a man coming out as a xdresser.

In most cases even if your accepted by your wife/partner or family you still have to spend time hiding what you really are from society because it is not acceptable in their eyes.

Society says that CDing is not normal....anyone pls explain what NORMAL actually is?

Views pls.

:GE:

[Marla S]

You're probably right.
Seems like CDers are worse than TGs and those are wores than gays.
The mayor of my city is gay and accepted, a TG mayor of another small city went trough tranistion during term in office and had to resign from office afterwards ("He did a good job but we elected a man !").
What would have happened to a CD mayor ? I don't know.

[Emma_Forbes]

Hi Vicky,

Interesting point.

It occurs to me that I think most SO's would walk away if their husband announced he was gay whereas there is a higher likelihood of a cd and so staying together.

Which makes me wonder whether society doesn't accept cd's because it is publicly hidden but may be personally accepted. Or is it perhaps because of an uncertainty, namely, that people know where they are with gays i.e., for men, "if he made a pass at me I'd hit him", for women, "I'm safe from him" but they simply don't know with crossdressers. Although the vast majority of cd's are strictly hetero, there are some who are gay and some who are bi and some who are 'gay' when en femme. So the average Joe can't be definitive when positioning themselves in their view.

I think there also may be a certain difficulty where, for whatever reason, a man may find that he fancies the cd concerned. Although I didn't watch it and it is a different scenario there was that TV programme recently (I think called 'There's something about Miriam?") and the reaction was hardly positive.

I'm not sure that things will ever change for cd's the way things have for gays. I think trainspotters are strange; stamp-collectors are boring; neither are things I would do but they are hobbies and so is my crossdressing. Just as they can indulge their hobby where and when they like, so should I. Do I believe I will ever be able to? - unfortunately not.

My thoughts anyway.

Em

[Cathy Anderson]

I think society is more acceptable to a man coming out as gay rather than a man coming out as a xdresser.
Definitely

Here's a theory:

People are usually pretty secure in their sexual preference. Most guys know that they like girls. They might have a much lesser latent gay side, but that itself doesn't deny their basic interest in women.

Gender roles, however, and in particular the idea that a guy is some swaggering, insensitive, ruffian, is a complete fiction. And that kind of total fiction has to be defended against most strongly, because even if there is just a little examination, the lie will be exposed.

Just a theory.

Cathy

[Paula Jaye]

I think that part of the problem is that we are unseen and therefore unknown. If people see you they get used to the idea and accept it. Two examples:
1. same sex unions - people see gay couples and accept that the dedication is the same as hetero relationships and so should be treated the same.
2. skateboarders - people see them being a pain in the backside in the main street but recognise they are mostly harmless. Next thing you know councils spend big money on skate parks.

Main problem we have is that a part of our population is un-noticed: which is what we want. But I think this has an effect - albeit a slow one as it usually affects only one muggle at a time. As an example today I went shopping to buy some singlets and bras. I browsed the racks in a major Wellington store; tried on a few; put some to one side on the counter and tried some more; eventually I made up my mind and paid for some. I dealt with 3 or 4 shop staff during this time. Throughout I was treated courteously and was helped to find the right size in the styles I wanted. Was I read? Don't know: but I do know that I was treated "normally". If I was read then it was probably for the overall good as they decided that this was a person who wanted some underwear. So the next time they meet a TG they will think "hey-ho another normal customer".

[jo_ann]

Tg's can still be discriminated (was recently a case with a spanish person on a talk show that got beat up by biggot cops), but I think most people view TG as "well, at least he's trying his best to be a girl", and gays "well, they're just born that way", but I think people view crossdressers as people who can't make up their mind, and are just playing silly dress up to annoy them. Also, gays/TG are more likely to file lawsuits and fight for their rights. Sadly, the majority of crossdressers are closeted... I.E. we're scared, don't want to cause conflicts (myself included) so we become easy prey.

[Josi]

In my workplace if I can out as Gay I would be supported, perhaps applauded, added to their score of "diversity" percentages and it would be ensured that I would not be disadvantaged. By the way .. that is not said with rancour .. I appreciate how the workplace has been very negative to Gay issues in the past and still needs attention.
BUT
If I was to share my crossdressing "tendencies" .. I would be ridiculed (at least behind my back) and thats all they would ever focus on, rather than my capabilities or strengths.

AND .. lol if I turned up with French Polished nails ...yet alone some lippy and mascara ... they would throw a hissy fit!

Fear is generated by ignorance. There is still a lot of ignorance about CDing.
Josi

[Wendy me]

I think society is more acceptable to a man coming out as gay rather than a man coming out as a xdresser.

In most cases even if your accepted by your wife/partner or family you still have to spend time hiding what you really are from society because it is not acceptable in their eyes.

Society says that CDing is not normal....anyone pls explain what NORMAL actually is?

Views pls.

:GE:

ok to us normal is getting dressed up in womans clouthes and make up ..

to some one that is gay to be with some one of the same sex is normal ....


to the red neck close minded person their belifes are normal......


so each group or sub group has a thought on what is normal .... to me normal is a word we or any one out there throughs out to say look at me and what i do and what i belive is ok to do ....normal is a safty net for those who are in need to prove that thay are ok......

i have seen the people who claime to be normal and they scare the hell out of me..............

[Josi]

Emma: "I think trainspotters are strange; stamp-collectors are boring; neither are things I would do but they are hobbies and so is my crossdressing. Just as they can indulge their hobby where and when they like, so should I"

mm
Cant say its a hobby for me .. I "need" to dress - I dont just want to.
Josi

[Toni Shelton]

Cindy is who I am.........I dress because I feel whole in fem. atire.
People that know me will tell you. When I am in DRAG I am a much kinder, understanding person. I "PUT-ON" to be a man so long. I am a very differant person in DRAB. I feel angery in DRAB. My SO Knows this and has said many times, I am a better person as a woman. And yes, I don't want to..... I Need to...

[Julie Avery]

There's pretty good evidence that homophobia is characteristic of men who are aroused by homoerotic stimuli, and uncharacteristic of men who do not respond to it, see this (http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/glb/glbtphobia.html), for example.

I wonder if CD-phobic men are aroused by the thought of doing the things CD's do (wearing dresses, shaving legs, etc) and non-CD-phobic men are not.

This still leaves aside the whole question of why women respond in their various ways to mtf's.

[Lawren]

The definition "normal" only exists in the mind of the beholder and it is just about as clear as mud.