View Full Version : So, it's just clothes, right?
DianeT
03-24-2020, 07:07 AM
While browsing the forums I frequently stumble on the argument "it's just clothes", generally coming from CDers making a point that CDing is a very normal thing to do, occasionally from GGs as well when they describe the activity of their CD significant other.
So, just clothes, right?
Let's say, panties, bra. Just clothes.
A pair of tights, a dress, shoes. Just clothes.
Rings, bracelets, necklace, earrings, a watch. Just clothes. Okay.
Done?
Well, for many crossdressers, the list extends a bit more.
Boobs. Just clothes?
Hip and buttocks forms, a garter. Just clothes?
Makeup, painted nails, wig. Just clothes?
It seems to me that when the list reached boobs, we slipped from dressing to transformation. Of course everyone may draw that fine line at a different level. In my personal case, as soon as I wear a pair of tights, or for that purpose any piece of female attire, it's not just clothes anymore, I'm starting an emotional journey that extends much beyond "just clothes".
Like a GG once said in a post: "Putting on women's clothing does not a girl make". Granted, however putting on boobs (or showing off your natural ones for the same illusion) seems a step farther than just a man wearing feminine apparel to his taste, and although it may not necessarily question your gender identity, it hints that your interest as a CDer goes slightly beyond the fabrics 🤔.
The argument "it's just clothes" for CDers going the full nine yards with forms, wig and makeup reminds me of its "it's for the comfort" sibling related to wearing panties rather male briefs, as it is a scientific fact that us males have such tender and delicate skin that cotton is poison ivy to us 😊.
Where do you draw the line yourself? When are clothes not just clothes anymore?
banzini
03-24-2020, 07:23 AM
Once you get to adding boobs, its gone beyond clothes.
Angela Marie
03-24-2020, 07:50 AM
I believe it is internal. The clothes don't effect the transformation. Once you accept your feminine self you move on to the presentation; which clearly identifies you as a woman. From my personal perspective it was the realization that my my female persona was a much larger part of me then I was previously wiling to admit.
Teresa
03-24-2020, 08:09 AM
Diane,
It's a very debateable point , " It's not about the clothes !" is often a comment made here .
To a point I agree but then I consider them a window to the World of how we feel inside . I had this conversation with a couple in my painting group , the guy is gay with a husband and the GG in her mid thirties . I pointed out to the guy that being gay wasn't usually a visual thing whereas being TG is . My clothes make a statement about me as most people's clothes do but mine say I'm female to the RW .
It's funny but only this morning I was getting my breakfast before taking my dog for a walk , I glanced at the coat rack and smiled because everywhere I look the items are women's , the coat I walk the dog in , the wellies I wear to garden . No where do you see anything male so anyone walking in naturally assumes a woman lives here .
The clothes help set my identity , I feel totally comfortable in them and they tell the RW what I am and how I choose to live my life .
I smiled at your list because so much is perfectly normal to me now , OK I don't use lower padding , whether I need it or not I'm not too concerned about because I try and keep things as natural as possible , most of my bust is me and I don't overdo jewellery . My hair and makeup are now an establised part of my identity .
DianeT
03-24-2020, 08:20 AM
Angela and Teresa, you have a valid point. I said "transformation", but I should have added something like : "whether for having the look of a woman (my personal case) or because it expresses your inner feminine self (more what you describe)". But thinking of it, in the latter case there isn't really a transformation, it's more an expression, possibly a statement. I realize that I overlooked the fact that a majority of CDers seem to have a feminine persona. I don't, which explains why I laid the argument that way.
Joanne108
03-24-2020, 08:28 AM
For me yes it is just clothes and whatever else it takes! I love the fact that when I am done dressing I see myself as the image of a woman! That is why I do this so I can look like a woman. I don’t want to be one, but I love looking like a woman. It makes sense to me, and from where I sit that’s all I need to know.
GretchenM
03-24-2020, 08:42 AM
Very astute observation, Diane. You are quite right. And Angela, it is largely internal. That much we are sure of.
Dressing or transforming or whatever you want to call it is fulfilling a need generated in the brain as a result of some kind of detection of a mismatch between the person's concept of self and the signals being received through the senses from the outside world. So, which has gone wrong? Neither.
The concept of self originates from a blending of experiences, emotional limits in the brain, and the brain's configuration at the time. That configuration can change over time, but at the moment there is a disconnect between expectation and observation of the outside world. So, that person does what they can do to get things better aligned by altering their personal expression. That kind of puts a filter over the input from the outside world and helps to make things more consistent.
But the brain can also change some of its structures rather quickly from that which is commonly seen in one sex to what is seen in the opposite sex's brain structures. This occurs because of brain plasticity which allows the brain to adapt to new circumstances. Stress is a major factor in these wholesale shifts in brain structure. And detecting a mismatch between self and environment creates stress called dysphoria. So as the brain reacts to the mismatch and we alter our appearance to what ever level produces comfort; this reconfiguration of the brain structures and operation occurs to rid us of the dysphoria.
Unfortunately, unless we can stabilize the matching of the internal and external perception and we need to change back to a more "standard" expression because of environmental demands, the dysphoria will eventually return. Back and forth we go.
The solution for some is transition, for others it is something much less, and for others the brain learns to accept the mismatch as some kind of normality. Problem is, the dysphoria keeps popping back up at times and that starts the cycle all over again. Some can stay in that acceptance state; but for most it is temporary even if it lasts months or years. Eventually, the basic configuration of the brain shifts to some degree of dysphoria generation again. Each person is unique in how they are configured and none of that is driven by your sex. It is all about gender - your behavior patterns within a complex environment that demands adaptation. Your gender is a very dynamic part of you and it forms the connection between your sense of self and the totality of the environment you live in. That sense of self has some fundamental limitations established by your genes and expressed in your development, but it is highly flexible so you can adapt to new circumstances.
Well, at least that is a major theory. But the plain truth is nobody really knows for sure how all of the happens. But the evidence seems to support something like this happening.
Paulie Birmingham
03-24-2020, 08:52 AM
It's an internal thing. Clothes don't make me want to be a woman or make me think I am a woman. Just a little fun thing I do.
NancySue
03-24-2020, 09:09 AM
Great thread. I never thought about it. I am fortunate to have a supportive wife, who viewed my dressing as ?they?re just clothes? until I wore a bra with forms. She didn?t object, but I could tell something was on her mind. So, I asked her if there were any problems. She said ?no?, but she was surprised with my wearing a bra, both with and without forms. We talked and part of her feelings stemmed from her dislike of bras, especially underwires. I told her I couldn?t explain it, but how nice it felt. She just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. Nothing more has ever been said. She dislikes hose and heels (two of my favorites) and occasionally teases me with...how I can?t wait to put on...what she can?t wait to take off. I have no interest in transforming...just dressing.
Jean 103
03-24-2020, 09:16 AM
No, they are not just clothes. If this statement was correct than this site would not be here.
So why no they try and make this argument? It has to do with their world they live in. The fear that it could come crashing down, and they maybe right.
Their biggest fear is that they will be compared to Teresa or someone like me. As the person will not take the time to see that everyone here is different. Even Teresa and me are very different, something that you may not be able to tell from these pages.
I'm sure you will hear from them as in the end you ask the question what can they get away with?
As for me I can pretty much get away with anything to a point. I live in the real world, if I get to outrageous my friends will let me know. It doesn't happen anymore as I know where the boundaries are.
Rhonda Jean
03-24-2020, 09:45 AM
It's never just the clothes. You just veered into another heated topic. It's a lie. It's a weak and weightless excuse and an attempt to brush away something that is deeper than we want to get into for whatever reason.
Cheryl T
03-24-2020, 10:07 AM
This is such an individual thing that I don't even think we can clarify it.
I've been dressing for over 60 years (yes, I am that old) and in that time I have known other ladies for whom it was just clothes.
Some have only worn stockings or pantyhose and for some it was many pairs at a time. Others only wore slips and panties. For some it was hosiery and shoes.
Then there are others like myself.
It began with panties, progressed to bra and panties, then slips, then with hose and heels and eventually to the lady you have seen in my pictures. Yes, it's more than clothes for me. It's tactile as I love the feel of the clothing, it's emotional as it satisfies some deep seeded need that nothing else has ever satisfied. It's physical as it somehow instantly changes how I walk, talk, and move. It's part of me and I am part of it. For me it's more than "just the clothes".
But it may not be that way for everyone.
April Rose
03-24-2020, 10:42 AM
Definitely not just clothes for me. It is inconvenient for me to expand too much on that right at this moment, but I think my signature line covers at least some of it.
kimdl93
03-24-2020, 11:01 AM
I wonder if it can ever just be about the clothes, in particular women's clothes. Something inside is pulling an individual to wear the garment. The pull may begin as a sexual act, whether its the excitement of the forbidden or a proxy for being with a woman. For some the attraction may remain entirely sexual. For some, maybe its fun to stray outside the boundaries a bit.
For others, including myself, the motivation seems to be buried deep in early life, as consciousness and gender identity become known to us. There is endless speculation about how early that occurs, anywhere from genetic determination, exo-genetic expression and early childhood experience. No matter how incongruous with one's physical development, someone like me can feel drawn towards the clothing and our own internal constructs of what feels like femininity.
I suppose the lucky among us experience no conflict between between the motivation and social expectations. I'm not on of those lucky people.
Rhonda Jean
03-24-2020, 11:43 AM
The "It's just clothes" thing shot from a different angle. One example of about a million, but if this social distancing thing doesn't end pretty soon I'll only have half a million left!
Shopping was my mother's hobby, so she'd very often buy a bunch of clothes for me to try on and take back what didn't work. The summer after 8th or 9th grade she had a garage sale and sold my clothes from the previous year. I saw a woman carrying an armload of my clothes in the house to try on. When I said something like "She's trying on MY clothes??", our neighbor said, "Well, they're girl's clothes. I don't know why not!".
Fact was, I was a little skinny kid. My mother thought girl's jeans, pants, shirts just fit me better. To her they were just clothes (That's probably debatable, but not the point). I had worn them for the whole school year and they had been just clothes all that time. Had I known they were girl's clothes I'm not sure I would have worn them to school (even though I would have wanted to). Since I didn't know, I never gave it a second thought. From then on I had the perfect situation. My mother had already established they were just clothes, so I didn't even have to make the argument. I also had a year of wearing them behind me without incident, which really strengthened my mother's position. Apparently they were just clothes to everybody else, too. Keep in mind this was the '70's, so there was a lot of crossover anyway. We kept buying my school clothes from the girl's department. The same kind of things I wore without even knowing it before. From then on I damn sure knew they weren't just clothes to me, when mostly the real difference was that they were sized differently. If you look at pictures of the rock bands from back then, most of them were either wearing girl's clothes or there really was no difference other than sizing.
susan54
03-24-2020, 01:59 PM
As someone who has repeatedly insisted I am not transgender I have never ever said "It is just clothes". The question about boobs and a bra is valid and one I have asked myself often. I like the feeling and I like how I look in the clothes - they just look better with boobs. My boobs are 38B - they are just big enough to set the clothes off nicely and suit my frame. I do not crave bigger ones. It is not just about how the clothes feel though I like that - it is also how they look. Unless I am going out I do not wear a wig or make up. I like ACTING as a woman but "It is just acting" - I always identify as male. I am not pretending that they are "just clothes" just that nothing about this changes my internal gender feelings about myself. The clothes are fun and I enjoy wearing them much much more than I enjoy wearing male clothes. Most mornings I get up and put on everything a well-dressed woman would apart from make up and perfume and in that sense they ARE just clothes. I have to wear something and I prefer to wear all the things you listed like tights and slips. It has long gone from compulsion to routine. I have given up trying to figure it out and if I enjoy it and don't hurt anyone I don't see that my internal reasons are accountable to anyone but me. That does not stop people asking questions like this - it is a good question. Just do not tell me my answer is wrong. It is how I feel.
Shelly Preston
03-24-2020, 02:06 PM
This is such an individual thing.
I would say its more about the motivation behind of why you want to wear women's clothes.
(some will say there not women's clothes there mine).
There can never be an absolute answer which fits everyone.
Just be as happy as you can whatever the reason.
Micki_Finn
03-24-2020, 02:49 PM
I haven’t read the responses, so sorry if this has been covered already, but I think you’re reading “just clothes” too literally. I think “just the clothes” is a shorthand way of saying that they’re into the aesthetics and presenting as a woman, but that they don’t experience gender dysphoria or trans tendencies.
Gillian Gigs
03-24-2020, 03:20 PM
I would say its more about the motivation behind of why you want to wear women's clothes.
We all have different ways of asking ourselves this kind of question. I will admit that I have said on this site many times, "after all it's just clothing". Well, if we examine what our motives are, and not delude ourselves we could probably come up with the real answer. As individuals, we will each have our own answers which will fill the full spectrum that we see within the people who frequent this site.
It is now and probably will continue to be an integral part of who I am. This is why we all need to come to the point of self acceptance, it's one of those things that just doesn't seem to go away. Fortunately I have an accepting wife. Through the evolution to where we are today, I have had the opportunity to see this whole thing from another point of view. Clothing usually makes a statement of who we are as individuals, and wearing women's clothes has got to be saying something. With that being said I have over the years been like a pendulum at times swinging from one extreme to the other. The goal has and will always be to get to a happy equilibrium, not only for me, but my wife also.
Different articles of clothing has had its stumbling block moments with the wife. One primary one being bras, then forms. She just couldn't see why something that is uncomfortable for her to wear, would be something that I would want considering I had no physical reason for wearing one. Another thing for her was that she doesn't like having to wear dresses, and to make it worse for her would be to wear pantyhose with the dress. Hence, she thinks that I am crazy for loving to wear pantyhose with skirts. All of this is a non issue today.
Through the evolution of her acceptance I also had to learn where not to tread. She wants her man to look a certain way, hence I accommodate her as much as I can. Compromise is a key part of any marriage, finding the middle ground takes work, a lot of work.
Some days it feels like they are just clothes, and others days they are very sensual. There seems to be this thing that many call, "the pink fog", and for different reasons it comes upon us. That is something that can knock me off my equilibrium. In my case it has strong sexual overtones, so I have learned to be aware of how it can come upon me and how it can affect me.
The important thing is to be honest with ourselves, and realize that we can have different reasons for doing the same thing. one day dressing it can be sexual, another sensual, and another day it is just to feel comfortable. I can't see any consensus within a group, when I get get a consensus within myself.
Brenda Freeman
03-24-2020, 03:57 PM
They really do just look like clothes in my closet. But as I sort thru deciding what to wear when time allows, it brings back the joy of wearing them the process of dressing and the finished product, usually includes forms, lingerie, make up and all gives me a joy that my male clothes just do not provide. So they are not just clothes to me.
JeanTG
03-24-2020, 04:53 PM
I tried to fool myself (and my wife) that it was "just clothes" for many years.
Now I'm on HRT... I guess it was more than "just clothes" for me!
Well maybe for some of the MIAD folks they might be just clothes. But for most here it extends past clothes (fake boobs, makeup, jewelry, long hair or wigs, padding, mannerisms, voice changes, using a different name, etc). The clothes may be the most important part for some, but most do things beyond just clothes. Really the just clothes is trying to minimize it and well we should embrace who we are, no matter how little or how much we transform.
DianeT
03-24-2020, 05:20 PM
Thanks to all for taking the time to answer. I take great interest in this seemingly innocent topic for two reasons:
- It helps me better understand my own experience
- My wife draws a clear discomfort line at boobs, hip forms, wig, makeup. She considers at this point that it's not just clothes anymore (I tell her that for me it never was anyway).
She has an interesting point about it but this will be for another thread.
Lana Mae
03-24-2020, 05:40 PM
For me, it is not just clothes! It is who I am! Lana Mae! Period! LOL Elbow Bump Lana Mae
docrobbysherry
03-24-2020, 06:23 PM
Average men don't care about women's clothes. Except, that when they r attracted to a woman they think about getting her OUT of them ASAP!:D
I know. I was an "average man" for 50 years. I had countless opportunities to try on girlfriends and my wife's clothes over the years. Why didn't I?
Because the thot never occurred to me! :eek:
Just as it doesn't to most men!
My hormones, or something, changed when I got older. And, once I tried on that 1st pair of tite women's jeans I was hooked!:battingeyelashes:
So, it's ALL about the clothes. But, never JUST all about the clothes!:heehee:
lingerieLiz
03-24-2020, 07:25 PM
Just clothes???
I have never worn forms or chiclets except on rare occasions where women would probably do so also. I do admit to wearing foam cup falsies back in my teens, but many of the girls my age wore them too. I wear women's clothes the same as women do. I like the look of a woman. I wear a bra most days and yes my boobs do push against my top. I'm not full busted but have natural projection.
Shely
03-24-2020, 07:27 PM
I don't know the answer to this question, but I have over 70 dresses right now and all most 1000 different dress pictures on flicker. But I do think there is much more than the clothes in this. the jewelry, nail polish, rings, wigs, makeup. I am in the pink fox for sure. But the clothes are the best part for sure.
GaleWarning
03-24-2020, 07:29 PM
A few years ago I attended an event in London which was also attended by at least one couple, where the husband was presenting as a female. I spoke with his SO and was floored by her comment. "He's still my husband, regardless of how he is dressed."
Here's the link to my OP:
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?204977-A-crossdresser-meets-with-some-transgendered-women-and-an-SO-at-a-social-event&highlight=
TheHiddenMe
03-24-2020, 10:22 PM
For me, it's clothes, feeling, and image.
For example, I have male lycra underwear that feel the same as some of my panties. As I often wear shapewear, no one is going to see my undies anyway, but I still wear panties, because if I'm going to present as a woman, I want to wear women's clothes.
I wear padded bras (no inserts) because I want to see the image of breasts like a woman.
I wear makeup and a wig because wearing a dress and nylons and heels with a male face and no makeup just feels wrong to me.
I wear dresses because when I was about 7 I wanted to try one on and I've wanted to wear them ever since.
For me, it's not just clothes. It's a complete image that I'm trying to obtain, both what I see and what I feel.
Patience
03-25-2020, 01:27 AM
When are clothes not just clothes anymore?When they are unjust. In other words, when they do not do one justice.
High heels can be particularly unjust.
Helen_Highwater
03-25-2020, 05:34 AM
My feelings on this are that the original question is not being asked in the correct context.
"They're just clothes" is used in relation to how others, often SO's perceived there CD'ing partners. As others have said the person remains the same, who they were in drab is who they are dressed. While not entirely the same it's like seeing someone you've only ever seen in a suit and tie suddenly wearing shorts and a tee shirt. Same person, different persona.
mbmeen12
03-25-2020, 05:35 AM
Where do you draw the line in yourself?
The first question, I looked very hard and thought to break the one word (line) down and my response "this is why I am on this site". I am of several peronas....mentally, sexually and physically (soon to start HRT to assist that sharpness of the line)... AND when I cross the "LINE" I am in my happy place.
When are clothes not just clothes anymore? This question is simpler to answer and I feel complete when I am finishing my makeup.
Great question from your GG and very thought provoking....
alwayshave
03-25-2020, 06:48 AM
Diane, It's not just the clothes, it is the entire package. I love women's clothes. The tactile feeling of satin, etc. However, when I look in the mirror, I want to see a woman. So yes it is more than just the clothes.
There is no way I could do just the clothes.
I like, and or need, to see myself as a woman.
Wig, make up, heels, boobs, the lot.
I don't know why this is, I don't think too much about it these days.
Its relaxing, energising, comforting, sometimes erotic , and feels fantastic.
Sure beats drugs!
JuliaGirl
03-25-2020, 02:56 PM
As Kym said, it's definitely not just "the clothes" for me.
The clothes (and wig, makeup to the best of my ability, breastforms or chest plate, jewellery, nails) are merely a physical manifestation of what I feel on the inside sometimes. When Julia has to be allowed her time to be free. I stopped trying to figure it out 15 or 20 years ago now and accept that all of it .. feelings and outward appearance ... at time are needed for a bunch of reasons. To feel a mix of calm, relaxed, less angry, comfortable, sensual, erotic, and amazing as me. I feel good dressed because it makes me feel complete at the times when I need to.
I'd honestly have no desire to wear women's clothing if it wasn't for something much more internal and deeper in me.
Stephanie47
03-25-2020, 06:34 PM
IMHO it is more than just the clothes. At least for me. I am able to separate my male side from my female side, although I do not know if female side is the proper term. Male pattern baldness has set in which has lead to donning a wig. Rarely have I seen a bald woman, and, that includes sitting in various waiting area or next to my wife when she was undergoing chemotherapy infusions. My wife expressed a lot of her self identity is her hair. During chemotherapy she feared her hair would not grow back curly. She has pride in her curls. She also has pride in her greying locks. No dye jobs for her. I've read numerous articles and listened to many many stories about women and identity with hair, especially in the African-American community. It seems natural for a MtF crossdresser to want to have a womanly hair style. Of course, there are women who do have very short hair styles bordering on the masculine.
Now, getting to the boobs. Obviously there are many women who are not very well endowed. There are some in my family. Nothing unfeminine about them at all. Femininity is more than outward appearances. Me, my inner self feels more comfortable having boobs. Sometimes I thought it may be part of deluding myself. I have never considered butt pads or hip pads. My wife has said for many decades that I have a nice ass. And great legs. No need to stroke my ego anymore than it is.
I only wear dresses because that is how I feel. I have absolutely zero desire to wear any garments that seem to be co-opted from the men's side of the store. I see nothing at all worthy of jeans, although I see some very nice figures in jeans. However, usually what I see in jeans is not so appealing. It just like someone wearing jeans..sort of unisex for most. I've mentioned several times on this subject of seeing a dynamite young woman with long blond hair driving and operating a cement truck. She was adorned in steel toed boots, jeans, flannel shirt, safety vest, and hard hat....and gloves. Terrific smile. No mistaking her femininity which just rolled off her and flooded the street.
For me, it is all the way with the clothes, one way or the other. No mixing of fashions. I'm all in whether it is from the female or male side of the closet. I do not bother with makeup other than some light lip color, although when I was younger I did mess around with full makeup, false eyelashes and nail polish. I can to realize I did not need all those adds on to feel comfortable in my skin.
I personally think any male who says he just likes to wear women's clothing for its style and colors is deluding himself and refusing to accept he is more than a man in a dress.
Michelle1955
03-25-2020, 07:09 PM
I’m working on be 65 years old this year, been in my head since around 5 years old. It is the head, not a puberty thing that popped up. It started with a neighbor girl I played with we switched underwear/panties at 5 years old to see the difference between the two types. I do not remember the particulars we got spoked when her called our names and nearly got caught in her room.
With that said to keep the gremlins from playing with my brain I got to be 24/7 panties. Some days got to have the boobs/bra on to settle the gemlins running around up stairs in my head.
Sure I wear clothes,etc but that not a must have to satisfy the need. Do have the urge to go town at times, but working around in the yard / garden / barn / feedings the animals underdressed and my leggings, work pants, etc takes of 90% of my needs. I’m not a MIAD I am me, mostly female. Non-binary.
Maid_Marion
03-25-2020, 07:55 PM
I diet and exercise to have a weight at the 3 to 5 percentile for American women. And I have an hourglass figure! The waist is nine inches less than my hips. I've paid close attention to eating healthy since I was ten.
Marion
There is no way I could do just the clothes.
I like, and or need, to see myself as a woman.
Wig, make up, heels, boobs, the lot.
I don't know why this is, I don't think too much about it these days.
Its relaxing, energising, comforting, sometimes erotic , and feels fantastic.
Sure beats drugs!
Agreed with all that.
Alyssa Lane
03-26-2020, 08:50 AM
Well I want to believe myself that it is just clothes, but for some reason I think it is more when it’s just physically impossible to have everything the SO has reproductively.
Do I want it all, probably yes. Can I have it all, harsh reality is no.
Krisi
03-26-2020, 10:10 AM
I wear panties unless I'm going to the doctor. I wear women's jeans as a male. I don't think of this as "crossdressing". When I add the bra, boobs, hip and butt padding, wig and jewelry, I consider that "crossdressing". I know I'm not a woman and will never be a woman but I play the part of a woman the best I can.
There are lot of members here, with a lot of different thoughts on this.
DianeT
03-26-2020, 11:59 AM
No mistaking her femininity which just rolled off her and flooded the street.
Stephanie, that lady seems to have made quite an impression. I like the idea that a woman dressed as a lumberjack can still ooze femininity, it confirms that it has nothing to do with the clothes (this in turn raises another question about CDing but it deserves a thread of its own).
Ginni
03-26-2020, 12:41 PM
It is not about the clothes. The clothes are a symbol. You can not transition to something that already exists. When I dress I'm being myself. I am the same person if I am dressed in female clothes or male clothes. Clothes don't make the person It is what's inside.
Natalie5004
03-26-2020, 12:55 PM
There is no way I could do just the clothes.
I like, and or need, to see myself as a woman.
Wig, make up, heels, boobs, the lot.
I don't know why this is, I don't think too much about it these days.
Its relaxing, energising, comforting, sometimes erotic , and feels fantastic.
Sure beats drugs!
I feel the same way. It just relaxes me. Kind of soothing for a while.
Pixie_94
03-26-2020, 01:13 PM
No idea of it anymore, I feel a bit foreign to all this.
jacques
03-27-2020, 10:43 AM
hello Diane,
My wife said "it's just clothes" to me when I came out to her. I am just the same person whatever I wear.
I suppose we can justify each step of our cross-dressing journey: for me "wearing tights under my men's trousers keeps my legs warm in winter" and "the boobs let my dress hang properly"...
But also it is more than the clothes - why do we agonize about why we can't resist the urge to cross-dress and where to hide our "stash"?
Once we join this fantastic Crossderesser.com group it has gone beyond the clothes!
luv J
SaraLin
03-28-2020, 05:54 AM
To me, it they were JUST clothes, then I probably wouldn't be wearing them.
"just clothes" are to keep me covered, to keep me warm, and to be socially acceptable (naked isn't cool - right?)
"just clothes" are just that. Just. Clothes. My guy clothes are just clothes. T-shirts and jeans usually. They do the job. That's it.
Now as to skirts, panties, bra, etc. - they are more than "just" clothes. They are symbolic of my inner feelings, my desires, and even sometimes my needs. The clothes aren't these things themselves. They are an outlet - a way to express myself.
So no - for me there isn't some tipping point where it stops being "just clothes" and starts being more. It's always more.
Of course, as always, "your mileage may vary"
DianeT
03-28-2020, 06:47 AM
Diane, It's not just the clothes, it is the entire package. I love women's clothes. The tactile feeling of satin, etc. However, when I look in the mirror, I want to see a woman. So yes it is more than just the clothes.
Totally with you on every point.
There is no way I could do just the clothes.
I like, and or need, to see myself as a woman.
Wig, make up, heels, boobs, the lot.
I don't know why this is, I don't think too much about it these days.
Its relaxing, energising, comforting, sometimes erotic , and feels fantastic.
Sure beats drugs!
Also totally with you.
Once we join this fantastic Crossderesser.com group it has gone beyond the clothes!
Case in point 🙂. Except maybe for MIAD members?
Now as to skirts, panties, bra, etc. - they are more than "just" clothes. They are symbolic of my inner feelings, my desires, and even sometimes my needs. The clothes aren't these things themselves. They are an outlet - a way to express myself.
Okay, the way you put it, for some reason resonates with me, it makes me reconsider one of my motivations for dressing. I can't sort it out for now, but thanks for sharing this.
So no - for me there isn't some tipping point where it stops being "just clothes" and starts being more. It's always more.
Never was for me either.
Angela Marie
03-28-2020, 07:19 AM
This is an excellent thread; probably one of the best since I have joined. For me, and I assume many others, the comments here made me thing long and hard about the genesis of my dressing and what it represents. Over the years, especially since I resumed my dressing a few years ago, I have slowly come to grips with what the expression of my feminine self really represents. Now I am more sure than ever that Angela is not simply a male dressed as a woman; no offense to those for whom dressing is exactly that. She is who I am. Like all of us we exist on a continuum of male/female. She has however, to use a sports metaphor, crossed the 50 yard line.
DMichele
03-28-2020, 08:26 AM
Diane,
Very good thread. After I came to terms with my gender identity, it became clear that I wear clothes (accessories, enhancements, etc) congruent with my gender - transgender near female. Several, like Teresa share similar approaches for their clothing preferences.
To each his/her/their own.
JeanTG
03-28-2020, 10:27 AM
Ginni,
When I started to CD seriously in the last couple of years, I thought the clothes were essential to making me feminine. Problem is, women don't always dress up to go to the hardware or grocery store! Part of being feminine is to believe it no matter whether you're dressed in jeans and an old denim shirt, or dressed to go out to a dinner party. The clothes do not make the woman. The soul makes the woman. It's why I consider trans a "process" and not so much an identity. It's a process to help you finally reveal to the world your true identity, which is "woman". The important part is revealing that soul. I think at the beginning, yes ultra-feminine dress is important to help us convince ourselves of our identity. We have to be able to see a woman when we look in the mirror. However HRT has started to change that perspective a lot. Until we can physically separate, I have to greatly suppress my presentation as a woman, limiting it to jeans and bland women's shirts, to not antagonize my wife. Given the COVID-19 crisis, it could be a while. But I still feel feminine by taking care of my body: close shaving (but no makeup), trimming my eyebrows, removing body hair, sleeping in a nice feminine nightgown (separate bedrooms).
It's helping me "normalize" womanhood. I just get up in the morning, put on a bra and panties, and wear what's appropriate for the day, like last week when I took the snow tires off my car and washed and waxed it. Or like today, just lounging around the house in comfy jeans and a warm fleece-lined shirt.
Mark B
04-01-2020, 05:19 AM
,
I personally think any male who says he just likes to wear women's clothing for its style and colors is deluding himself and refusing to accept he is more than a man in a dress.
Stephanie, I disagree that every man is deluding himself.
To me it is just the clothes. I present myself as a man, but wear skirts and high heels. I don't act feminine when wearing my skirts, just a man wearing something a bit different from most. I wear skirts and heels everyday to work. I don't wear dresses as they do not hang right as most have room for breasts. I do have one Bodycon dress that I have worn several times that fits snugly in the chest. I wear skirts and heels because I enjoy doing it. It gives me the freedom to be different.
My wife is the one who encourages me to once in a while to go out dressed with wig and forms. She calls it "girls night out time!" But she also understands I only do it to make her happy as I feel very uncomfortable when dressed as a female. At this point it is not just clothes.
BillieAnneJean
04-01-2020, 09:49 AM
A few years ago I attended an event in London which was also attended by at least one couple, where the husband was presenting as a female. I spoke with his SO and was floored by her comment. "He's still my husband, regardless of how he is dressed."
Here's the link to my OP:
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?204977-A-crossdresser-meets-with-some-transgendered-women-and-an-SO-at-a-social-event&highlight=
I suppose it is ?just clothes? until loved ones start sacrificing for it.
GaleWarning
04-01-2020, 10:20 PM
I suppose it is ?just clothes? until loved ones start sacrificing for it.
I think the point that I would make is this:
If society did not make a big deal out of insisting that men should not wear clothing which is normally worn by women; if anyone was free to wear whatever item of clothing they wished to; then it would be "just clothes".
Acceptance is the key, whether it be by one's spouse or partner, or the individual who is wearing the clothing, or a member of the general public.
DianeT
04-02-2020, 02:30 AM
Acceptance is the key, whether it be by one's spouse or partner, or the individual who is wearing the clothing, or a member of the general public.
Very true. However a spouse's acceptance will generally not be the same for a stranger dressing than for her/his spouse as in the latter case there are implications for the couple (gender identity questions, emotional involvement).
Manna
04-09-2020, 01:57 AM
Nice thread.. I think clothes are not only a fabric to cover your body...Its thing by which you shows your personality , who you are? In clothing we can also add the accessories , new styles and many more things. So everyone should try the every design and clothing.
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