Crossdressing .. a hobby?

[Josi]

From another thread I noticed someone describe their CDing as a "hobby".
I realised that for me it isnt a hobby at all .. not a passtime or a leisure persuit.

For me its a NEED .. something inside that must have outward expression or my sense of balance and well-being is upset.
I dont want to sound overdramatic, but I just know, if I coudnt CD I would feel frustrated and incomplete.
I dont want to go "fulltime" - just as and when I can will do.

Is it just a "hobby" for anyone else?
Josi

[Adrienne Heels]

That is a really good question. I have referred to it as my "hobby" when talking to sales clerks as I am buying things for myself, but the more I think about it, the more I feel that I need to be Karyn.

As an example, I want to go shopping for pretty girl clothes....I have a salon appointment today (I'll be dressed) and feel that is so important to me. I think there is a subtle balance that I need in order to be happy, esp. because I feel so good when I am Karyn !

[Raychel]

I think that it is a hobby for me. I have no desire to go full time or transition. But I really do enjoy to do it in my spare time. That is my opinion of a great hobby.

[Josi]

Raychell
hi
BUT .. how would you feel if you COULDNT dress?
Josi

[Raychel]

Probably the same as someone that could not go fishing or run thier model trains. JUST HORRIBLE. :thumbsdn: :Angry3:

[Josi]

I must have led a sheltered life lol .. never thought of anyone "needing" to run their model train ;)

[Julie Avery]

For me its a NEED .. something inside that must have outward expression or my sense of balance and well-being is upset.
I dont want to sound overdramatic, but I just know, if I coudnt CD I would feel frustrated and incomplete.
I dont want to go "fulltime" - just as and when I can will do.

That pretty well sums it up for me, too.

If I'd never been through a period where I was able to fully crossdress quite a bit, maybe I wouldn't feel quite as strongly, "wouldn't know what I was missing"?

[Toni Shelton]

No Hobby here. I have to dress to feel whole. I think my SO thought it was to get attention or that I was gay. Its been years since I told her. I do remember for about the first year of marriage I didn't dress. Then one day I had to do it. It makes me feel whole, complete, fulfilled, as the person in me is alive. I feel dead inside dressed DRAB. I now know I have to do this to live. And I am a pretty good house wife too. My wife went to an insurance seminar. Told me everyone loved her nails. I take care of her nails and do very well, even if I do say so myself.

Love
Cindy

[TGMarla]

See, the problem here is that doing this, as opposed to most hobbies, generates an alternative personality. To some extent, more or less, we behave differently when we engage in crossdressing. Sure, it's hard to play football or go fishing in high heels and a skirt (though I'll venture the model train runs just fine when we're en femme), but that's not exactly what I mean. When we were little kids, and played football with friends, we may have said to the fellahs, "Hey, I'm Gayle Sayers! Throw me the ball!" Or perhaps even, "Here's Casey Jones going down the track the wrong way!" But I doubt any of us carried it with us when we came inside or put the train away. But I can think of no other "hobbies" that generate an alternate persona, complete with name, that stays with us for life (allegedly) and becomes a part of who we are in our waking lives.

Certainly it has aspects of a hobby. We engage in activities to enhance our experience, and purchase items that will do the same, such as wigs and breast forms. One could do the same thing with fishing by purchasing a boat or a new rod. Going clubbing or to a salon can be equated with heading out at dawn to that lake we always heard was really good for largemouth bass. But when we are out on the lake, we are not some alternative persona. We are who we are. And when we come home and put the tackle away, we don't carry the fish around with us. We put them in the freezer and go about our business.

But Marla, my little feminine hobby, is with me all day, whether I'm wearing a dress or not. My "Marla" aspects don't torture me and nag at me like they used to several years ago (I guess we've reached a kind of peace accord), but they are there none the less. So is it a hobby? An odd compulsion? A personality disorder? All of the above? Interesting question, indeed!

[Josi]

Hi Cindy -- I am not quite in the same place as you .. tho I hope I can understand.
I dont feel "dead inside in DRAB" (oh how I hate that acronym and its negative connotations which I dont have).
I actually like being male and happy to dress as such (even if underneath Josi does live lol).
I enjoy being the male partner to my SO too and fulfilling that role of protector (if needed) and even sometimes saviour (not in a spiritual sense!).

I am so lucky tho - My SO embraces all of who I am .. whether tender and caring as male me .. lol .. or as happened the other day, repairing some electrics in my skirt or attending to a leak in my nightie (funnily enough both bought for me by my SO).

[Josi]

Marla - how clearly put - thank you .. I only defer from one thing tho .. certainly NOT a personality disorder ...
Josi

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

See, the problem here is that doing this, as opposed to most hobbies, generates an alternative personality..... But I can think of no other "hobbies" that generate an alternate persona, complete with name, that stays with us for life (allegedly) and becomes a part of who we are in our waking lives.

Certainly it has aspects of a hobby. We engage in activities to enhance our experience, and purchase items that will do the same, such as wigs and breast forms. One could do the same thing with fishing by purchasing a boat or a new rod. Going clubbing or to a salon can be equated with heading out at dawn to that lake we always heard was really good for largemouth bass. But when we are out on the lake, we are not some alternative persona. We are who we are. And when we come home and put the tackle away, we don't carry the fish around with us. We put them in the freezer and go about our business.

But Marla, my little feminine hobby, is with me all day, whether I'm wearing a dress or not.

One could argue, and I am going to do just that. I like to play devil's advocate.

For some it is a lifestyle, and for others it is a hobby. For me it is a hobby, but I also don't feel like I adopt a new persona. I may adopt a different attitude but I feel like I'm the same person. And really, people *do* adopt different ways of acting for their hobbies. Someone might be a straight laced accountant all week, but there he is on saturdays rooting on his favorite college football team, face painted up and screaming like a banshee.

As for your analogy, they might put the fish and tackle away and go about their lives, but who is to say that being a "fisherman" doesn't stick with them as tightly as being a crossdresser does? how do you know that all week while they're at work they're not still on the lake somewhere in their mind, just like we carry some of our girliness with us at all times?

And for an example of a hobby where people DO take on different personas and act in entirely different ways, check out a Live Action Roleplaying session sometime, or visit a historical re-enactment troupe, or a ren faire.

[Seven]

For me this part is so right

For me its a NEED .. something inside that must have outward expression or my sense of balance and well-being is upset.

it is a balance

XXXXXXXXXXX Seven

[Josi]

Alyssa - you are too clever by half! ;)

I think though .. this just demonstrates that we are all on a different pace on the gender continuum.
At one end is "Super-macho-hyper-hetro-hunter-gatherere-male" and at the other end is "Wonderful-feminine-gee-I've-broken-a-nail-girly-girl" (sorry for the stereotypes .. but they are for illustration purposes only!)

Its a long line - and it depends on how far away you are when you look as to where people stand.
From a distance it looks like "we" are close together .. but up close we can see the gaps between us. No one is "Right" or "wrong" .. just "there".
Vive La Difference!

[Barb Valentine]

I feel it's just for my own peace of mind .Can I live with out it, No
Do I want to go full time, No.Would I like to go out dressed,Yes.But
I know I could never pass.

[wendy]

definitely not a hobby ! I feel CDing for me feels so right, it is kinda hard to explain in words but from the moment I put on those pair of panties to slipping on those pumps and putting on the wig, everything about it feels so right, it feels like it is a part of me expressing who i am.:D

[Josi]

Barb .. I dont think I "pass" either - but I go out anyway. Most people ignore me (they are busy with their lives and I dont draw attrention to myself). Some see me and stare a bit (well so would I, I suppose) even nudge a friend and say "thats a geezer in a dress"
BUT - I have been very kindly respectfully responded to also .. by shop assistants, waitresses and waiters, etc . We all know I am a guy .. trying to look acceptable as a gal ..
I wont ever go out unaccompanied tho.

For me .. being in the world .. has a resonance, last experienced a few weeks ago with My SO when we went to a club.


Most "hobbies" dont put you to the challenge .. unless of course you like hanging from mountains lol ;)

[Reana]

For lack of a better word, "hobby" works for me, and I have referred to it that way to others. There's probably a little more to it than this but the CDing does have numerous similarities to my one other hobby which is very conventional and, I'm sure, shared by some others on the foum. :)

[Marla S]

Though I see a parallels for a hobby and CDing, I think there is a significant difference: Hobby is something you are usually happy or sad about getting or achieving something (or not), whereas CDing is something you are happy about being someone or feeling somehow (or the contrary).

[Emma_Forbes]

Hi all,

Being the one who mentioned hobby in a previous post, I guess I have something to say. I refer to crossdressing as a hobby because I don't live full time en femme. There is also a need there but even that is not 24/7. Emma is there all the time but then again she isn't because she's me and I'm her. I am one person with one, albeit multi-faceted, personality. It's just me.

I probably wouldn't want to dress fulltime either. Sometimes my femme clothes feel uncomfortable and I want to lounge in male clothes and not worry about one leg wanting to be in a different room from the other rather than next to it. Sometimes I can't be bothered to have a double shave and put makeup on. Sometimes I want to scratch my testicles....

However, sometimes I just want to be girly.......

Em

[livy_m_b]

It's not a hobby for me, and I don't call it a need, but I do say it's compelling. That seems to address the aspect that it I'm not able to stop permanently. But if calling a hobby helps other people relax, I think it's ok to call it that. For some people that's the closest non-prejudicial concept they have.

[Tina Dixon]

This is really a tuff one to answer, being still in the closet but I am looking out a bit now, may be it is a hobby, but with my desire to come out and enjoy being Tina in the company of others is a way of life, don't really have a answer I guess at this time.

[nezy]

See, the problem here is that doing this, as opposed to most hobbies, generates an alternative personality. To some extent, more or less, we behave differently when we engage in crossdressing. Sure, it's hard to play football or go fishing in high heels and a skirt (though I'll venture the model train runs just fine when we're en femme), but that's not exactly what I mean. When we were little kids, and played football with friends, we may have said to the fellahs, "Hey, I'm Gayle Sayers! Throw me the ball!" Or perhaps even, "Here's Casey Jones going down the track the wrong way!" But I doubt any of us carried it with us when we came inside or put the train away. But I can think of no other "hobbies" that generate an alternate persona, complete with name, that stays with us for life (allegedly) and becomes a part of who we are in our waking lives.

Certainly it has aspects of a hobby. We engage in activities to enhance our experience, and purchase items that will do the same, such as wigs and breast forms. One could do the same thing with fishing by purchasing a boat or a new rod. Going clubbing or to a salon can be equated with heading out at dawn to that lake we always heard was really good for largemouth bass. But when we are out on the lake, we are not some alternative persona. We are who we are. And when we come home and put the tackle away, we don't carry the fish around with us. We put them in the freezer and go about our business.

But Marla, my little feminine hobby, is with me all day, whether I'm wearing a dress or not. My "Marla" aspects don't torture me and nag at me like they used to several years ago (I guess we've reached a kind of peace accord), but they are there none the less. So is it a hobby? An odd compulsion? A personality disorder? All of the above? Interesting question, indeed!
Marla, well said! I agree and very likely is a little of many factors at work.:thumbsup:

[sherri]

I have long said that for good or bad, one way or another a man is defined by his work. This was an important issue for me at a time in my life when I was working hard to transition from a career that didn't suit me to one that did. The difference that change in my life made was profound.

But as I grow older I've come to realize that the work, though still a defining characteristic, doesn't define me any more than - perhaps not as much as - my passions and interests. I've noticed that I carry around with me all day every day a lively internal dialog about being a father, a guitar player, a flyfisherman and, yes, a crossdresser, that keeps my mind occupied and my spirit healthy. These passions - and I do think of them as passions, not hobbies - shape my sensibilities, influence my outlook on life and filter what I notice and absorb. (As I have become more cognizant of that internal dialog, I have also noticed, sometimes humorously, that my mind and spirit are also frequently conversing with my friends, my past, even my ex-wife.)

The crossdresser in me has forever altered who I am and influences my stream of conciousness. But I don't agree with some forum members who claim that we could never stop dressing. I can stop or start whatever I want to; I try not to let compulsions or other people control me. It's concievable that I might stop dressing some day. But that outward manifestation isn't the alpha and omega of this cross-gender personality that lives within me. I have changed, inside, and so have my perceptions of men, women, the world around me, and life.

Sure, there is a duality to my life, one that feels to me like it is artificially imposed by the external restrictions of our culture. In a more tolerant and accepting cultural climate, I would probably more frequently and overtly manifest the femininity of my personality, but that does not mean that I don't also treasure the male side of my life. I love being a father, for instance. I love coaching my son's baseball team. I like the maleness of my intellect. I don't have a problem with my male genitalia (although there is definitely a feminine aspect to my sexuality). I love ... well, you get the picture.

But I am happiest when circumstances and activities can accomodate my gender crossing. As spring approaches, it will soon be time for the season's first flyfishing trip. I can't wait ... but oh how I'd like to do it wearing my daisy dukes. :cheeky:

In light of these considerations, I don't see how I could possibly think of all this as a hobby.

[Jenniffer]

To make it short and simple i have to agree with Sherri.
It is so deep within my personality that it would impossible to deny it and I'm fine with it on the other hand I'm a miserable individual when I've tried to suppressed it (crossdressong). Can't say that about any hobbie I've had they come and go, and after I've mastered them I get bored.

Love

Jenniffer:D

[Karren H]

Funny. Because I call crossdressing my "hobby" all the time! So don't know if it was my post or not but that's neither here nor there. I feel it is a hobby in a sence that I don't do it all the time. But a pashonet (that doesn't look right - wish I could spell!!) Hobby. And like ice hockey I'd have a hard time chooseing one over the other if I had to choose!! But I don't, yet. And hope I never have to. Hehehe

Love Karren

[Rexy Lee]

Questions like this are complicated because crossdressing seems to be deeply implanted in ones own psyche. I dont think its even possible to explain why we are so drawn to crossdressing and as a life long cd i've given up long ago trying to figure it out.
For me it is a hobby of sorts. Nothing, and I mean nothing gives me the thrill and enjoyment I get from crossdressing. I actually dont dress often, only once a month or so (do to life getting in the way) but I treasure every second I am 'en femme'.

Rexy Lee:<3:

[sabrina mercedes]

Sherri, you express yourself so well. Yes, to me it is not a hobby. Crossdressing is an expression of who I AM! I don't need to do it. Could and have quit. I find that I am at peace with myself when I am en femme. It is not a compulsion, fade or activity. I have made a conscious decision to express my passions thru crossdressing. It is an outlet, a window and a equalizer in my life. I crossdress because it provides me great satisfaction emotionally. I am at ease when en femme. I am not a hypertensive personality. I enjoy being dressed. My passions are no less evident when I am en femme, but dressing shows my sensitvity to life and others. It is also a window into who I am. I have a very sensitive side. I can cry at movies that most guys would hate see with their SO. That doesn't mean that I don't love shoot'em ups, crave football or enjoy being the fix'r up'r around the house. I just have a side that enjoys feminine aspects of life. Crossdresing is a window to that side. It also provides equalization to my masculine side. I know that I like colors. I love to shop. Decorating is something I enjoy and I find that I am good at it. Most guys are scared to death of color. Hate to shop and decorate (?) you must be kidding!! Crossdressing is an expression of a deep part of me. My masculine side, though, is where I live. Dressing provides balance and helps to equalize my life. I know that I have been long and winded, but my crossdressing is and expression. It's not a necessity, a hobby or an activity. This is who I am. Plus, IT IS SOOOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!
Live, Love and Be Happy
Sabrina

[Josi]

"My masculine side, though, is where I live. Dressing provides balance and helps to equalize my life. ... my crossdressing is and expression. It's not a necessity, a hobby or an activity. This is who I am. Plus, IT IS SOOOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!"

Thanks Sabrina .. nice way of putting it.

[Alexandria]

To others I say it's a hobby (for lack of a better word). Something I like to do on my spare time. Most people are fine with that.

But to me personally personally it's more than that. It's a passion, it's something I do to feel complete. I feel great when I try on a new blouse or fit into a great skirt. I get excited inside when I spend over an hour choosing an outfit, putting on makeup, fixing my hair, and dressing up.

It simply feels great! So it's much more than a hobby and has replaced much of my old negative habits, but most people probably won't understand.

[TGMarla]

One could argue, and I am going to do just that. I like to play devil's advocate.

For some it is a lifestyle, and for others it is a hobby. For me it is a hobby, but I also don't feel like I adopt a new persona. I may adopt a different attitude but I feel like I'm the same person. And really, people *do* adopt different ways of acting for their hobbies. Someone might be a straight laced accountant all week, but there he is on saturdays rooting on his favorite college football team, face painted up and screaming like a banshee.

As for your analogy, they might put the fish and tackle away and go about their lives, but who is to say that being a "fisherman" doesn't stick with them as tightly as being a crossdresser does? how do you know that all week while they're at work they're not still on the lake somewhere in their mind, just like we carry some of our girliness with us at all times?

And for an example of a hobby where people DO take on different personas and act in entirely different ways, check out a Live Action Roleplaying session sometime, or visit a historical re-enactment troupe, or a ren faire.Touche! I agree with all of that. Very well thought out, too. I love to golf. Often, when I'm going about my business, I'm still thinking about golfing. Golf courses are a wonderful and beautiful place to be, even when my game, uh, ...isn't. But I didn't name my inner golfer.

Addressing a few things Sherri said, and this could be said of intense hobbies as well, crossdressing does indeed forever change us on a very fundamental level. I imagine I could stop if I really want to, but ask any smoker who has ever quit. Do they ever not at least think about it? I'd probably wind up dressing again sooner or later. I like it too much, and it's not hazardous to my health. As to the duality you mentioned, it's my feeling that this becomes less with self-acceptance, and self acceptance becomes greater the more we are able to blend the duality into a singularity.

This is a pretty cool thread. :p

[randi_789]

If it is a hobby, it is a darned expensive one. :) ........... But worth every penny.

[Ellie]

I think like many people who are very much into their hobby there are times when I absolutely NEED to dress and others when I'm just not in the mood.

I refer to my cross dressing as a hobby because I don't feel the need to dress as often as possible, just when I am in the mood.

Of course as I write this, I am wearing panties under my drab. :p

[sherri]

As to the duality you mentioned, it's my feeling that this becomes less with self-acceptance, and self acceptance becomes greater the more we are able to blend the duality into a singularity.

This is a pretty cool thread. :p

Well, let's just take your golf as an example, or my flyfishing. I used to play golf, and in addition to wishing I could flyfish in my daisy dukes, I would love to play golf in a cute little mini skirt or pair of women's shorts. Maybe even a pink glove! But am I going to do either? Uh, no.

That's the practical duality I'm speaking of.

PS - I wouldn't need to use the women's tee though, cuz I can drive the ball 280 yards. :D

PSS - actually, I might just flyfish in daisy dukes ... if I'm wearing chest waders. :D

[Janelle Young]

For me it is a bit of both. I have a 'need' to CD that has and will always be with me. It is a part of me and I accept that it is a part of me and it is not a phase that is going to go away. So I have a need to dress. I also consider it to be a hobby, something I like to do and would like to get better at doing.

I have no desire to live full time as a woman and have not been out in public yet. Would I like to go out in public as a woman? I am not sure about that. On the one hand yes I would but on the other hand I am happy just to dress as a woman.

All I can say for sure is that I will always have a need to dress.

[Teresa Amina]

a historical re-enactment troupe

Reenacting has been a hobby of mine over the years and is not even close to what cding is. In reenactments we participants project ourselves into a different time; when Teresa comes out to play she is that inner reality which need be expressed, not the assumption of a role, a life lived by someone else long ago. No, this is not a hobby in the sense of a trivial amusement to pass the time and lighten in some way the burden of life, but is a profound part of this life itself.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Reenacting has been a hobby of mine over the years and is not even close to what cding is. In reenactments we participants project ourselves into a different time; when Teresa comes out to play she is that inner reality which need be expressed, not the assumption of a role, a life lived by someone else long ago. No, this is not a hobby in the sense of a trivial amusement to pass the time and lighten in some way the burden of life, but is a profound part of this life itself.

Well, that may be true for you, but I know that I feel like when I get into full girl mode, I'm just assuming a role so that I can wear the clothes I want to wear. I have said on this board several times that I do not ever really feel like I am a woman, no matter how femminine or ladylike I get, I'm always aware that I am a man. I don't feel like being a woman is any more a reality to me than being anyone in a reenactment would be. I do feel like there is a girly side to my personality, but that's not any more prevalent to the side of me that obsesses over movies, I'd be just as reluctant to give up my DVD collection as my panties, maybe even more so.

As far as the Golf analogy that Maria used as a counterpoint to me, that she hasn't named her inner Golfer, well I take your point, but offer up this one, what if Golfing was as socially stygmatized as Crossdressing? What if you were on a forum with other golfers who were debating how to purchase clubs over the internet without being obvious, asking if you ever went shopping in the golf section of a sporting goods store while dressed in basketball clothes? Because I didn't name "alyssa" because I felt she was a part of me that wasn't being expressed, I created Alyssa because I worry that I can't wear the clothes I want to wear blatantly as myself without causing a backlash on my potential career or family life.

[Samantha?]

Hey, and first of all, I have to say that I found myself agreeing with Alyssa a lot over this thread. For me, it's very much an androgony (that's probably not even close to the real spelling) thing. I love girls clothes and make-up and the like, but (for me) I'm never trying to look EXACTLY like a girl. It's more like the physical manifistation of my feminine side, which is quite large. I want to dress how I feel all the time. I'm not sure if this constitutes "hobby" or not, but just my two cents.

[HaleyPink2000]

For me it is emotion, stress relieving and normal. Crossdressing is part of me! I need to do it. I’m at peace dressed. At this time in my life I have decided that nothing, nor no one is going to stop me from dressing. It’s my way of relaxing, and to feel some what normal. It seems that I’m more sensitive to others if I get to dress each day, or evening. This also lets others know that I’m a sensitive person in many ways. Now I do some wood working as a hobby, play music, mess with electronic things, and a few other hobbys. But so do some GG’s. I just enjoy many things GG’s do also. Shopping, makeup, dressing in pretty clothes etc. Many people Males won’t play with color. Being an artist with oil paints, I live in colors. I have done many things in life. All of them are part of what I now am. One of those things is Crossdressing. Should I stop? No, it’s part of what I am and who I’ve been all my life.