Progression

[Nicole Bernard]

I've been thinking a lot about progression. Thinking about an "end". Does it end with having Nicole time a few times a year? Does it end with going out in public as a "woman"? Does it end with "coming out" to friends or family? Or does it end with changing my gender identity?

I know everyone here has a very similar story. It started with one thing and grew from there.

Now we all have boxes and bags of women's clothing and accessories.

I've been thinking a lot about coming out to my wife. I'm fairly certain it will end in divorce. That's got me thinking about what I want out of it.

If she were to accept this side of me, I have to be prepared to tell her what I need.

If you'd asked me what I wanted 10 years ago, I would've said "two hours in the bathroom. I'm good." I never would've imagined I'd progress to two duffle bags of makeup, two pairs of shoes, a wig, and piercing my ears.

Is there such a thing as enough with crossdressing? Each time I dress up, I feel so sad taking it all off. I want more time. More time to be me.

Is it time to consider something else?

I feel very confused during this time of my life.

[Natalie5004]

Hi Nicole, Maybe you need to keep writing. Overtime you may find the path you are on. Good luck with all.

[Tracii G]

Keep writing and asking yourself all these questions because in the end only you can answer those questions.

[AllieSF]

Nicole,

If you get to a point where you think that you need it, seek out a qualified gender therapist to get your head around your progression questions. I, like some others, started from zero late in life (about 60) first with crossdressing, loving it and then going out that way and loving it more, and .... one step at a time down my path to living full time and still loving it. No one has to follow my path. Your path is unique and where you stop, momentarily or permanently along that path, is totally up to you based on your own needs and situation. In the meantime enjoy the trip because it really is a great "Trip", ... if you let it be!

Allie

[Paulie Birmingham]

I'm different than most people bc I am a CD, but even on a CD forum I am still different than most. I'm a miad who doesn't really like dresses. More on a pantyhose panty yoga pant longerie etc kind of CD. Wife sees me in those and is good with it.

But my boys did start getting out of control buying dresses and heels and bras. Wife knows about those and doesn't quite get it. Either do I. And I don't wear that often.

I have seriously gotten in some hobbies. What started as one fly fishing rod turned into many. I have several other hobbies that started out small and quickly grew. It's the nature of hobbies I guess. My wife's hobbies now take over large areas of the house.

I felt like my cding was going down the same path. Just like one rod wasn't enough, one lingerie wasn't enough. I bought a dress. Looked at forms. It followed the natural progression of my hobbies and I decided I didn't want to go that far. So I slowed down. Having time to enjoy what i got with my wife and don't feel a need to progress.

But like i said. Even in a forum like this, I'm different

[Joni T]

If you know telling your wife will end in divorce, then YOU have to choose which is more important--keeping your marriage intact, or self-gratification. I'd choose the former. One can ALWAYS find a different diversion (hobby, if you will) to take up the slack time. My favorite past-time is restoring, collecting and shooting antique firearms. You too CAN find some thing else if you look long and hard enough. Good luck, my friend. As Yogi Berra once said, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it!"
Jon

[kimdl93]

People certainly change over time and a few discover something about themselves that they had not expected. Its quite another to extrapolate from collection of makeup supplies, two pair of shoes, a wig and so on.

I would be more concerned about your marriage at this point. You have this apparently hidden hobby/activity and perhaps have managed to keep it hidden. Seems like some people do succeed in hiding for decades. But all Hell might break loose if she discovers your hidden activity. Rather than trying to read the tea leaves and predict what you may want ten or more years from now, think more about what you NEED now, not want...which is optional, but need. Don?t make the mistake of omitting your relationship from that list of needs. And when you prioritize your needs, if your relationship doesn?t rank ahead of your desire to dress up secretly, you may need to reconsider your ranking.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm a CD. And, now that my adult daughter moved out, I live alone. When u can dress whenever u like? U soon find your tipping point! Not only has my dressing progressed well beyond anything I ever thot I would? I don't need anything more!:thumbsup:

If u need to dress more than r now, Nicole? U may not be a CD. Many trans need to present every day! Keep progressing. Until u find your dream!:D

[Angie G]

I've a crossdresser that all I want or need I do get to dress all day every day at home I underdress only if I'm going out dress.May be that's why I don't need more. At this point of my life I'm a happy camper. I hope you find and get what you want Nicole. :hugs:
Angie