Time to move on

[kimberly c]

I have been a CD since childhood, first a lingerie fetish dresser, panties, bras, slips, garter belts and hose. In my later years I really got into dresses, tops, skirts and all feminine wear. My wife let me dress anytime I wanted, now things have changed I can only wear panties and nightgowns to bed. I still have closets full of woman's clothes I just can't seem to purge them. I love all things feminine. I'm more of a man in a dress, I feel I should give up the life style but I can't not sure I can go cold turkey. Is it possible to let go. Love Kimberly

[Micki_Finn]

What exactly has changed? Just your wife’s permissions? If so, maybe spend some time delving into WHY things changed.

[Lea]

If your wife's attitude changed please talk to her.
My wife supported me, mentored me and bought things for me for a just short of two decades. Her attitude changed so much that I stopped dressing in front of her. We had a talk and now things are back to normal. In fact due to Covid19 shutdown I have been dressed for the last ten days.

[Paulie Birmingham]

Take a break and see what happens. I CD for fun. When it's no longer fun for me, it's time to stop. When the negatives outweigh the positives, it's time to stop.

You seem to be more of a hobbyist like me than others.

Don't beat yourself up. You probably don't have the same hobbies now that you did when you were younger.

And if you miss it, come back. We will still be here. Don't force it bc others think you are farther on the path than you know you are. Be yourself

[NancySue]

With your history and as long as the Pink Fog exists, I don?t think you can quit, let alone go cold turkey. I sense something traumatic occurred between you and your wife to cause her to go from accepting to controlling. Do you know why she changed? Finding out may give you some direction.

[Helen_Highwater]

Kimberley,

Firstly is the assumption correct it's your SO's change of attitude that's brought on this change and if so do you know why?

[Di]

GG here ,
I would try to talk to her when you are alone and just ask what happened for her to feel so differently.
Did she try it but decided It is just as not for her?
Did you only focus on your dressing and forget about you as a couple?

I feel you need to know how she feels instead of covering it up.
Just gently ask her and find out her feelings.

[Maria 60]

I can only speak of my own experience, last year I went through a drought. Weeks went by and I had no craving to dress, but it just seemed to easy that it was just going away on its own. Then it happened, I was sitting having coffee on a outside patio and a women dressed very professional sat next to us? When she sat down her skirt went up alittle and her control top of her pantyhose were in my full view. I mind went back of how amazing that type of pantyhose felt and couldn't wait to get home. And here we are again. You could only be lucky if it goes that easy, I afraid it's in our blood.

[GretchenM]

I recommend taking a break and during that break explore what has happened to cause this change. I sense a tendency to put the burden on your wife and her attitude change. Perhaps that is it but perhaps it is something in you or, even more likely, it is both of you. If it is a deep and fundamental need such as being a part of your personal identity, that is, if it is a true transgender identity you have then staying away from the expression will be a struggle that will lead to much deeper feelings of loss. But if it is a hobby or just some kind of addictive behavior that is not a part of your deeper sense of self then breaking away will be difficult but over time possible. If that is not the case and it is your relationship then talking between the two of you might resolve it or you two may need to see a couple's therapist. I don't know how long you have been married but you need to consider whether this behavior has produced a fundamental conflict between the two of you. If so, you need to resolve it as a couple. I recommend by starting with an examination of why you have taken to this reversed gender expression behavior. It is hard to do on your own because the trait itself colors your thinking about the whys of the behavior. But you are obviously very unhappy for some reason and you need to find the true explanation for that unhappiness. Unfortunately, that is like trying to figure out where the edges of a cloud are located when you are deep inside the cloud. Not impossible, but difficult to do.

[Vicky_Scot]

Just tell your wife that she can no longer do something she enjoys. Watch the reaction and say well it works both ways. X x x

[Stephanie47]

As others have suggested you really do need to sit down and have a discussions with your wife. Find out why she has changed. There is plenty of conjecture on our part, but, you need to hear it from her. Many times I hear the term "hobbyist" when it comes to wearing women's clothing. If you equate emulating a woman as equal to collecting stamps or coins that is totally confusing to most people. When I had "The Talk" with my wife, she told me her side. My side consisted of the truth as I knew it, "I do not know why I do what I do!" Dressing for most men is much deeper than just engaging in a hobby. How a man expresses himself may be through whether he prefers dresses or casual jeans and a top. Full makeup or big boobs. To me that's just a way to express that underlying feeling or motivation. Yes, I only wear dresses. I love floral print dresses. That is not a sufficient reason to convey to someone why I wear those clothes at all.

I've said many times on this forum there is a lot of "creeping" going on. I've read it many times. The husband decides to paint his toes. Nothing is said. Next it is shave the legs. Nothing is said. Then off the chest hair. Next thinning the hair on the forearms. And, so on. His wife does not say anything, wondering where this is all going to stop. Then, wham, she explodes. There is also that element of instant discovery there is more to his dressing than met her eye. A collection of portrait shots of him in an extensive array of clothing shows up unexpectedly. Too much visual stimulation.

Maybe your wife feels the retirement years are going to be filled with your dressing, and, the thought is overwhelming her ability to absorb it. I suspect you're more than a man in a dress.

[docrobbysherry]

Funny, Kim. I've never thot of a closet dresser that never goes out dressed as a "lifestyle". :brolleyes:

But, I guess for some, it could be!?:battingeyelashes: