What is Pink Fog? Really.

[DianeT]

Hi, I am looking for some education here. I hear about Pink Fog all the time but confess I don't understand what it means exactly. It is generally described as a pressing urge to dress. I don't relate to that. What comes closest to this in my own experience is thinking about it, fancying crossdressing, but it's never compelling. If I know an opportunity is presenting itself in the short future, and I think about it, it thrills me and I am joyful about it. But if I think about it at other times, I just fancy it like I would fancy scuba diving on a nice spot and play with an octopus (oh, I love those). It's not an urge. It doesn't distress me if I can't make it happen. It doesn't obsess me. It does not hinder my everyday life. I can leave it there and go on with other things without coming back to the prospect every other hour or day.

For those who feel like they go through it from time to time, how would you describe the emotion?
If you can't satisfy the urge, what is your level of distress and how do you remedy?
Also I suppose Pink Fog is only a CD thing? If you start or have completed transitioning it seems to me that it becomes irrelevant to you. Correct me if I'm wrong.

If a SO reads this text she/he is more than welcome to provide an external view point.

[tifftg]

Diane,

Wonderful question and I suspect you will get a variety of answers. From my perspective your "pressing urge to dress" captures it well. Not all of us get it and often it involves taking risks or excesses beyond one's normal practice. It may involve significant shopping, perhaps throwing on clothes knowing that someone may be coming home early if you are in a DADT relationship because you haven't dressed in a while and MUST be doing it now. Over the years, 50+ of dressing I have had entered the Pink Fog from time to time. If I had purged for instance in hopes of not dressing again, the urge and actions just take over. I do believe it is a CD thing exclusively.

My 2 cents.

Tiffany

[Gillian Gigs]

I would call the "pink fog" as being a mood, or feeling that comes upon a CD'er and the urge to dress grows to the point of almost overwhelming the individual. In my own experience the urge grows to the point of obsession, and the only way to get it out of my head was/is to dress up. In my case it is usually a particular article of clothing, once I am wearing that article, or dressing up, a calm, or sense of relief comes over me. It is then actually quite relaxing and peaceful. That's how I tend to see the "pink fog" in my life.

[Tracii G]

It is more an obsession with all things CDing clothes,make up ,wigs etc.
Where a person thinks of nothing but CDing.Its a pretty common thing when they first start out.
I pretty much live as a female 24/7 so its not something I have to deal with.

[Robertacd]

I always thought of the pink fog being when you are so obsessed you loose your boundaries. Be it how often you dress, going out in public, or buying things. It can be triggered by either a lock of dressing or by a successful act of dressing. Most common is someone has a successful adventure out or day at home dressed and then ends up going on a buying spree in the days that follow.

[Di]

From hearing from GGs in my local group in Canada we had . They would complain after they worked out compromises between them the cder would blow right though them and they would use the excuse pink fog and could not stop myself.
My experience was in the very beginning and Sherlyn and I met halfway ( we lived in different countries) she would call off work a few days ( after our weekend together) because she said I just cannot stop . I was like noooooo you better be going to work in a skirt . After she had her freedom and saw it was not going to stop this was not an issue again.

[Krea]

I always thought of the pink fog being when you are so obsessed you loose your boundaries.

Yes, that's what always springs to my mind when people describe pink fog. Becoming so totally focussed on CDing that other important things can become neglected at great personal cost.

[Teresa]

Diane,
I would agree with Tiffany , it's different things to different people .

I would relate to the driving force , how bad is your dysphoria and how do you deal with it . I feel I have a balance now , I can do what I want when I choose so the highs and lows are now evened out , now I can comfortably be Teresa and live my life as such .

I guess the point is even without "Pink fog " the need is still there .

[Lana Mae]

It is an obsession as someone said! Often attributed to gender dysphoria! Risky behavior as far as dressing and risky spending on clothes and accessories! It does not have to cause harm but the risk is there! For instance, I just spent about $200 on clothes but they were not necessary! They struck my eye and I had to have them! I could afford them without harm so I went for it! I am generally careful with my spending and am sure the bills can be paid before I purchase! Sometimes it is very hard to hold back! I can dress anytime and always so no problems there! Some have a problem with dressing and the extreme urge to dress as soon as possible! IMHO Lana Mae

[Judy-Somthing]

I spend so much time engulfed in the PINK FOG!
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[GracieRose]

If the pink fog hits you, you'll know it.

[NancySue]

Great thread. For me, it?s when I?m doing something, anything....mowing the lawn, reading the newspaper, etc. when, out of nowhere, I get these ?butterflies? feeling in my stomach....it can be slight or intense. Immediately, my mind switches to female clothes and the desire to dress. Usually, nylons are #1 and a bra is #2. Sometimes, it goes away, but sometimes it?s so intense, I almost can?t help myself. Thankfully, I have a very supportive wife who seems to sense when it rolls in and sweetly suggests that I get ?comfortable?....which I generally do. Sometimes, I?m happy with a couple things, but sometimes it progresses. With this sequestering, I dress most every day....sometimes not.

[Jenny22]

The Pink Fog to me is an overly active obsession with whatever trans issue I am involved in. It sometimes becomes a Pink Flood, and I roll with it until it passes.

[Stephanie47]

When I was a lot younger I would get this uncontrollable itch that had to be scratched. It could not wait. It produced stress. Tension mounted. I could not wait for some free time to come along to be en femme as much as possible. It is now inconceivable to me that I would be able to dress with full makeup, wig and outfit, and, be unable to undo all that within two hours. Insane. Later, as the kids went to school for longer days, and, my wife worked the school day I could leisurely peruse my needs. The ultimate came when my wife would visit our youngest child out of state for seven to ten days. I had 24/7 time days and days. I found one of the prime ingredients for the pink fog was the absence of adequate time to scratch that itch. Now, if I cannot get a full day of femme time it does not bother me. Must be a change of hormones.

[jacques]

hello Diane,
occasionally, usually after not dressing for a while, I have the either the overwhelming urge to dress or go shopping. Nothing else matters and all common sense disappears. I have to do it regardless of the risks. I cannot control it.
I assume that this feeling is what people call the "pink fog".
luv J

[MonicaPVD]

For me, pink fog is an overwhelming desire to do irrational and risky things when dressed.

For example, going out in my town during the day, even if only for a trip to the market or gas station. It's one thing for acquaintances not to recognize you out and about. It's a whole different story if they see you entering or exiting your familiar car. That's just one example of what pink fog does to me.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I understand the idea of an obsession or an immediate need to crossdress or shop or something.

But to me it's more like alcohol. It makes me braver and more susceptible to influence. More willing to take chances or less aware of the risk I might be taking in say, getting dressed in the house, and hoping my wife won't come home and catch me.

[ShelbyDawn]

The best example I can think of happened just today. I haven't worn makeup in several years, but today I stopped by the pharmacy down from my apartment to pick up a few things, shaving cream, deodorant, etc. To get to the shaving aisle, I had to go through the cosmetics section, There was a half off coupon hanging by the Revlon lipstick, so in a moment of weakness, I chose a lovely shade of pink and dropped it in my basket. Not something I would rationally do, but I did it anyway.

Small example but for me it illustrates the concept of the pink fog.

By the way, it is a lovely shade of pink and I may be contacting my Mary K consultant if the lock down doesn't end soon...

[Paulie Birmingham]

A strong want to do something girlie not that .much different than my strong wants to have a rye at times

[SheriM]

I agree with most definitions here, however, the pink fog seems most pronounced when shopping for ladies wear or when shopping for other things turns into ladies wear shopping. It's when you buy something that you know you don't need or cant afford but you purchase it anyway.

[GretchenM]

I think Tiffany might have defined it pretty completely. It is an obsessive behavior that, sometimes seems to be triggered by a dysphoria episode. Dysphoria technically is a strong discomfort with a situation or a circumstance. It is a reaction to something that you are not comfortable with or, put another way, is outside your comfort zone. Gender dysphoria, simply put, is a discomfort with your native gender identity (the one that meets social expectations) and seeking a comfort with an alternative gender identity that fits who you are better. There are all kinds of sub-dysphoria associated with gender dysphoria such as body dysphoria, expression dysphoria and a pile of others. The dysphoria is relaxed by moving in the direction of greater self comfort in expression or behavior.

Eight years ago I was almost constantly dysphoric and it drove me and everybody else a little crazy. Now I rarely experience any kind of dysphoria because, after 70+ years, I finally figured out who I am and why I am that way. So, now I am almost always comfortable who I am, no matter what that is or how it is expressed. I did that by abandoning the gender binary concept and embracing the gender mosaic or gender spectrum concept that allows complete freedom in expression and avoids nearly all stereotyping. Very free now.

[Star01]

For me I think of the pink fog as an overwhelming feeling that transcends anything sexual or the actual dressing. My pink fog is shaving my body from head to toe. My pink fog is taking meticulous care of and my nails clear costing fingernails and using colors on my toenails. My pink fog is standing naked in front of the mirror imagining myself with a womanly figure. My pink fog is wearing panties and seeing a gender therapist and opening up about my feelings.

My pink fog is not an overwhelming desire to go out dressed in public. My pink fog is not dancing because I don't dance and it's not going to clubs because I don't drink. My pink fog is trying to suppress it so that I don't ruin a fifty year marriage but finding the denial harder to deal with.

My pink fog, desires, obsessions or whatever are the only instability about me in an otherwise controlled and quiet, modest life. My pink fog is not about comparing myself to others but it's about dealing with myself through counseling and the help I find on this forum. I might never find all the answers and might never even know all the questions but I will keep searching for contentment while trying to balance the fog with everyday life.

[Crissy 107]

I think it is the very strong desire to dress at least to some degree. We really have no choice, we were born this way.

[alexa_cd]

I don't really know what it is nor have I ever heard of it before I joined this site yesterday but whatever it is I think I have it lol since joining yesterday I have bought make up, a wig, 2 dresses, 2 skirts, new femme underwear and shaved my WHOLE body, I have never been this excited about dressing and my future life dressing since joining this site so I guess that is the pink fog taking over lol

[BostonBrenda]

I can only speak foe myself but I suppressed my desire to dress for too long. Now when the Pink Fog hits it feels overwhelming. Some of you have discussed the feelings of wanting to experience high risk behaviours. I never thought I need to go out fully dress but now I cant imagine Not going out as a woman. The desire to be seem as a woman even though Im not passable, is too powerful to resist. Its scary but going out fully dressing is not a choice

- - - Updated - - -

I can only speak foe myself but I suppressed my desire to dress for too long. Now when the Pink Fog hits it feels overwhelming. Some of you have discussed the feelings of wanting to experience high risk behaviours. I never thought I need to go out fully dress but now I cant imagine Not going out as a woman. The desire to be seem as a woman even though Im not passable, is too powerful to resist. Its scary but going out fully dressing is not a choice

[JennasPanties]

Beautifully said Brenda. I am under a pink fog all week. Have to admit, I love the feel8ng

[MichaelM]

Good question and wasn't sure myself.

All I can equate it to for myself is the urge to CD (for me, only nylons) but it isn't at the expense of taking greater risks, but maybe that's just me.

In the past, it was a matter of somehow finding some alone time whether in the house or otherwise to CD. A short stint would normally do the trick and I'd be fine after that.

[Sara Jessica]

Pink Fog = excuse for poor decisions, actions and/or behavior.

[MonicaPVD]

Pink Fog = excuse for poor decisions, actions and/or behavior.

Absolutely. Guilty as charged. ✋

[Sarah Doepner]

I think Tiffany might have defined it pretty completely. It is an obsessive behavior that, sometimes seems to be triggered by a dysphoria episode. Dysphoria technically is a strong discomfort with a situation or a circumstance. It is a reaction to something that you are not comfortable with or, put another way, is outside your comfort zone. Gender dysphoria, simply put, is a discomfort with your native gender identity (the one that meets social expectations) and seeking a comfort with an alternative gender identity that fits who you are better. There are all kinds of sub-dysphoria associated with gender dysphoria such as body dysphoria, expression dysphoria and a pile of others. The dysphoria is relaxed by moving in the direction of greater self comfort in expression or behavior.

Eight years ago I was almost constantly dysphoric and it drove me and everybody else a little crazy. Now I rarely experience any kind of dysphoria because, after 70+ years, I finally figured out who I am and why I am that way. So, now I am almost always comfortable who I am, no matter what that is or how it is expressed. I did that by abandoning the gender binary concept and embracing the gender mosaic or gender spectrum concept that allows complete freedom in expression and avoids nearly all stereotyping. Very free now.

I'm with Gretchen on this. We feel the discomfort of gender dysphoria and it gets stronger until we deal with it one way or another. Sometimes we are much more capable, have resources, alternatives, obligations or distractions that keep it suppressed. For some of us that's the way of life most of the time and we get by with dressing occasionally, buying a few things we don't need and then put it all away. I tried that and it only raised the bar, time after time until I decided it was time to change hormones. I don't get the pink fog any longer, but it took years, counseling, medications, admitting and sharing the truth of my gender to figure out what could make that happen.

At times it would be nice to have either accepted the pink fog or figured the whole thing out years ago, but I think I've finally arrived at the best solution for me. Your path will be different, enjoy it.

[Natalie5004]

Pink fog for me is when I have dreams where I am dressed and out and about. I wake up around 3 am and that is about it for the night, no more sleep just thinking about it and wondering when the next time I will be alone.

[Angie G]

when the dressing starts to takeover. :hugs:
Angie

[Patience]

To me, Pink Fog is the name given to one's desire to be girly, Or a reaction to something girly with a wish to be able to projet that femininity myself, sort of like a string vibrating sympathetically to an outside stimulus at the same resonant frequency.

Or not.

[DianeT]

Thanks to all who have responded.

All your definitions and experiences are unique, however I tried to draw some dominant traits of the Pink Fog :
- It can be triggered by a gender dysphoria episode
- It can be an urge to dress, or an obsession about crossdressing
- It can cause a stress that you need to relieve
- It can lead you to lose your boundaries, take unusual risks, go on a buying spree
- Some consider it is an excuse for bad decisions/behaviors (like a rationalization after the fact?)
- You feel better, more relaxed after having satisfied the urges.
Of course all the above do not apply to everyone.

[BarbDriscoll]

I?ve always assumed that pink fog referred to something like ?the fog of war?, where you do things because of altered perceptions that in a different, less frenzied, context you might never otherwise do.

[Asew]

My biggest pink fog was when I finally accepted myself and wanted to try everything out. I was obsessed and always wanting more. Though I had the same thing when I got back into running several years ago and I didn't call it running fog though it would be pretty true.

[Krisi]

"Pink fog" is whatever you want it to be. As someone else posted, it's often an excuse for making bad decisions.

[FairyCrossdresser]

For me it?s a frame of mind, if I had to guess the product of the hormone balance being in a particular place.

Some days I?m just not interested whereas on a pink fog day I can?t think about anything much but dressing. I used to feel it more when I was younger and opportunities were scarce And so came to associate it with frustration, but fortunately, I get far more time to myself these days.

[BTWimRobin]

It's the uncontrollable force which causes me to think irrationally and brings on a lot of anxiety. It totally distracts me. I am not able to focus on anything and all I want to do is push my limits of dressing.

[Kay J]

To me pink fog is just want to be one of the girls going out shopping and enjoying Kay time! Then it is back to reality yuck!!!! The fog will always roll'n again that is a guarantee!

[manemami]

After going through discussion I found so relaxed as I was so confused about my unknown behaviour which clears when I complete the crossdress session. I found a name to that behavior 'PINK FOG' lovely experience. Every body want go through and stay there as much as possible.

[FairyCrossdresser]

I can recognise a lot of that BTW, particularly if I don?t have any commitments (such at the weekend or presently during furlough), the pink fog means that I am going to be dressing en femme whether I want to or not.

The amount of willpower it takes to ignore just isn?t worth it for the sake of my mental wellbeing.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Diane :hugs:, It is a state of mind, See line #2 In my signature, >Orchid .oo:daydreaming:oo.

[Maid_Marion]

I have found the pink fog to be quite helpful for dealing with stresses beyond my control. I can't really do much about unreasonable customers or requests from my boss at work.
But, I can easily afford cute clothes with the money I make. And it is cheaper than a therapist.

Marion

[Jennifer in CO]

I believe Sara nailed it. However I'd add an add'l thought. That the "pink fog" is a blinding urge, nay need, to do what ever it is telling you to do. The "excuse" part comes afterwards...

[Stevie Lane]

Soooooo, I've just spent 50 quid on a pair of utterly gorgeous white stilettos that I will wear .... no not for work or going out or anything remotely practical, but for walking up and down my hallway together with holdups and mini skirt just to see what it feels like! :daydreaming: Even before the purchase I'd already planned on re-selling them on Ebay when I'd 'finished' with them. WTF! Master Yoda wasn't present during that purchase was he!

Pink fog.

[Julie Martin]

Diane T, that's how it is for me too.

[ReineD]

Your answer is in your post. It's a feeling such as the thrill that you describe, but like sexual desire it is random, intermittent, varying in strength. Some days you won't feel it at all while other days you will. Sometimes the feeling will be mild while other times it will be strong. Sometimes it will be triggered by something specific (like something you see, smell, touch, hear, or a memory, or even the fact of being alone), and sometimes you won't know what has triggered it.

This feeling, depending on how strong it is, will trigger different behaviors in different people and at different times, based on the opportunities available to them (and their degree of self-control if opportunities are limited), and based on the strength of the feeling at the time. This could be lapsing into fantasies, or dressing up, or seeking certain websites (cd websites, online shopping, or dating apps and porn sites for some people), or seeking sexual release, or simply putting aside the feeling for a better time although for some people, the feeling will grow in strength the more they lack the opportunity to relieve it.

Everyone here will have a different slant on it. The feeling and the strength of it is as varied as there are personalities combined with life circumstances. If you want to see a wide variety of answers, look at the results of the 'pink fog' tag search. Tags haven't been assigned to more recent threads, but some things never change. The answers here from 2008 to 2017 are just as relevant today.

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/tags.php?tag=pink+fog%2C+