The challenge of " Dress up " time .

[Teresa]

I was posting a reply to Danille Dubois's thread when I posed her a question , I thought it might be an interesting question to ask other members .

If you didn't have the restrictions and challenges of your " Dress up " time would you still want or need to to do it ?

I know I've asked this question before :- If you had no restrictions how far would you truthfully like to go ?

[cdinmd206]

I am single and live by myself, so basically I have no restrictions to my Dress Up time.. I mainly wear female clothes inside the house but seldom put on makeup or wear a wig. I have no intentions of becoming a full time dresser and definitely not interested in a sex change. I love my female side but also love the male side also. I am greedy. I want the best of both worlds and to double my chances for a date on Saturrday night!!!!

[sara66]

If I had no restrictions, I would probably dress 2 to 3 times a week and go out a couple times a month. If I dressed more often I think it would become work.
Sara

[Raychel]

I have no restrictions at all about when I dress,
And I find that the dressing time is getting more seldom for now.
not sure how long that will last, it does come in waves it seems.

[GretchenM]

As I dress in private I would go to the same extent. But with me the desire is triggered by a shift in my gender sense and not a "conscious choice" to dress. The feeling must precede the act of changing my expression. Others are the other way around - the act creates the feeling. However, the possibility that full freedom would develop into more and longer term feelings that support the expression is a possibility.

Brain plasticity acting in a different environment might very well result in a different outcome and behavior configuration. That is, "The more you do it the more your brain rewires itself to require you to do it more as a need." Your brain is always working toward the ideal configuration to produce the most comfortable ("happiest") condition in your life. But in doing that it also keeps the social standards of the culture as semi-constant factors so you don't go too far afield in your expression in comparison to what the society in which you live expects.

The bottomline is there are very few constants in the equation because your brain will adapt to most anything because it has no knowledge of what is "right or wrong" in terms of rigid social standards. It just adapts and exposure to social standards forms a vague limit on how far you go with your behavior. Sort of like everybody is a shape shifter using expression to demonstrate to others different parts of your identity. Very complex, indeed, but most anything with a brain does that in one way or another. To the philosophers that is the essence of Free Will and the right and the ability to choose, whether the choices are complex or very simple such as deciding which piece of food to eat first or which way to go when faced with a barrier in the path, left or right, and no further consideration of the consequences of that choice. We often do that just like ants. But then we think about making that simple binary choice and implementing it with expressive style. Ants probably can't do that.

[Gillian Gigs]

If you had no restrictions how far would you truthfully like to go? I am an underdressed, who loves lingerie and wear my lingerie all the time. That being said, when I am at home my habit is to wear skirts and hosiery very often. If there were no restrictions, I would wear skirts all the time, even out in public.

[Pumped]

I worked out in my shop all day yesterday, my wife was planting flowers around the various planting beds. When I got done I went in, took a shower, had a Crown on the rocks and got my girl on. When my wife finally came in I was wearing a tight bright red bodycon dress, bra and forms, pantyhose, ('cause the dress was short!), white spike heel peep toe pumps I had just bought, pearl necklace and just a guy from the neck up. She came in and I was standing there all girly, getting dinner ready and she just said WOW! and went to take a shower. She came into our family room shortly wearing a tight little bodycon dress. We sat and ate dinner and then went to bed as we were both tired from the day.

That is about as far as I want to take it. I have thought about wigs and makeup, but only with my wife's assistance, plus I would need to shave off my beard. Obviously I have little or no restrictions, other than my wife likes to have her "man" around too, that will be tonight. I might dress a bit, but it will be more endogenous, more male, but heels and skinny jeans and a t-shirt. I don't see myself ever going in public dressed, just too much to deal with to go that far. Too much old guy features to try to get girly.

Do I feel the need to dress? YES! I NEED to dress a couple times week or more.

[Teresa]

Gretchen,
I found your second paragraph very interesting , the fact that the brain is searching for a comfortable state ( happiness ) or could you say stability and equilibrium ? The next sentence then raises the question how does the brain recognise a social balance ? The society we live is the only way we can learn right from wrong because as you say it has no inbuilt knowledege .

I felt the question was an interesting one because most of us are driven at some point in our dressing evolution by the " Dare " factor , achieving that rush of emotions , from wearing someone elses's clothes , of the first shopping trip , not wanting to be caught and yet secretly you do , wondering if your underdressing had been noticed , the list goes on . Looking back it is a very strong driving force that I see now as building blocks in finding yourself or finding a comfortable place on the spectrum . I can see now it's not about becoming a total woman for some .

Personally I feel if I'm seen and accepted enough as female that is a good as it will ever get any further steps won't change that for the people around me it will only settle any inbalance in my brain .

[Star01]

I wonder that same thing or the way I posed it a few days if I was given an inch would I take a mile. I am in a dadt and spent years with our family of six at the time in a small house. In recent years it was one of our kids, her husband and kids in our lower level for five years. There has always been something over the years and when the dust settled it was dadt with not much alone time. Now I have some me time after my wife goes to bed but still have to be quiet due to the floor plan of our home.

The fog has been thickening lately and I have no idea what I would do with total freedom to be me. The desire to dress is getting stronger each day after some family issues held it in check. My shopping opportunities are limited to non-existent until it's safe for us old people to mingle again.

If I could I see my first step as an online shopping binge, wig, clothes, well thought out makeup purchased, shoes, and dresses. Would the freedom scratch my itch or would I want more and if so how far would I take it? In my case I want to explore that side of me more than anything but my fears and personality are holding me back and that is currently the main topic of therapy sessions.

Would the freedom make me want more and how far would I take it. Do my daydreams when looking in the mirror mean anything or would being able to dress at will grow tiring? Or would it go in the other direction and lead to something more than crossdressing?

Expectations and dreams can sometimes prove to be nothing more than fantasy and self delusion. Or they can turn out to be the best decision we ever made. I wish I knew the outcome now and could base my decision on that but life is rarely that easy.

Great question, very thought provoking.

[Robertacd]

I never had any real restrictions beyond my own anxiety. I am pretty much full time now, and started my journey to transition.

I guess my life is either your biggest dream or worst nightmare.

[Jean 103]

Well I became Jean.

I think of it now as I have grown up all over again.

At first I was learning, making friends as well as a name for myself. Wearing mini skits and dresses.

Now I dress more like my friends (GGs).

Still I have developed my own style or just identified what I like and look good in.

So the last time I remember wearing a dress up until last night. Was February 29, a dress I made from my friends wedding. One of the hardest days in my life.

I also made her granddaughter's dress and altered some others.

At the same time my landlord and closest friend at the time, was laying in the hospital. She passed the next day.

How I dress is a reflection on how I feel. Last night I saw my boyfriend. We have been staying separated. I never stopped working, it's just my private life that's been shut down. Yes it is driving my boyfriend nuts that I have respecting this whole thing.

Well I finally decided it is time. I put on a dress , for my boyfriend. No it didn't stay on long.

As I was getting ready I'm sitting at my vanity a in my panties and matching bra almost finished with my makeup, just needed to do my lips.

I rent a room in a house , have my own bathroom. The family just left, they have four big dogs.

I hear the dogs , they are out front. The way the screen door is if you don't lock it they can open it.

I look to see if they have returned, what I see is a guy with two dogs on leashes surrounded by the dogs.

With no time I grab my big pink robe and take off running down the hall, coming out the door I have it on and tied. I'm hoping that it doesn't come untied as I get the dogs back in the house.

I apologise to the man, the dogs weren't fighting they just wanted to play with their new friends.

I just moved here a little over a month ago. He was ok with it all, and we exchanged names.

Not the best way to meet your new neighbor, but I did leave a good impression, I think.

[MaryAnn1963]

I believe I would go full time. I really want to start electrolysis ( I hate shaving) and would love to have my nose taken down a size or two to help me look more feminine. When I'm dressed I just feel that everything is "right" . I don't want a sex change, I've grown accustomed to my "parts" and would not want to let them go, but I just feel more natural dressed as female and would prefer to stay that way.
I guessed i'm just mixed up.

[Lea]

In the summer my wife leaves the heat and humidity and spends about three months with relatives in a cooler climate. During that time except when I go outside to visit my mom three times a week I am dressed.
When the wife is back I dress maybe two to three times a month.
If I did not have restrictions I would dress full time.

[carhill2mn]

Many times when I was married I wondered what I would do if I did not have the constraints of a disapproving wife. Now I know. I have lived alone for 12 years and present as a woman about 90% of the time.

[kimdl93]

As you know, I have few restrictions in my life and as a result, I have taken considerable advantage of the freedom it affords me.

[Jenny22]

Yes, Teresa, I would still want to do it. If there were no PUBLIC restrictions and challenges, I'd be in femme full time .. too old for any surgeries including plastic for my nose.

[docrobbysherry]

U nailed me with this post, Teresa! When I first arrived here at CD.com 12 years ago, I was a closet dresser with a wife and 2 kids. Suddenly, all I could think about was dressing! I began under dressing, dressing in a store room at the office, dressing in my car, or in the middle of the nite!

Then, I separated from my wife. There were 3 or 4 days every week when I could dress all I liked! I found dressing about 4 times a month was enuff. But, on occasion, I needed more!

Then still a closet dresser, I began going out to T events around the country and to nearby T friendly venues. Yet, I still needed to dress a few times a month at home.

About 5 years ago, I began copying and filming famous, female, characters. Then, stories starring Sherry as the featured female character(s). Since then, I have so many ideas and characters and stories to follow up on, I'm constantly working on and wearing outfits and costumes for these shoots!:daydreaming:

Your post made me suddenly realize my 20 year long need/compulsion to dress has vanished!:eek:

[susan54]

I live on my own and can dress as I wish. During lockdown I have only worn male clothes for a total of 8-9 hours for food shopping locally. I have a vast dress collection and am enjoying renewing my connection with some old dress friends. I don't wear make up or a wig except when out in public and not doing that during lockdown. I think ANYONE in a dress would be very conspicuous at present - in my short excursions I haven't seen any. I believe there are currently more men than women wearing skirts and dresses. So no such thing as dress up time. It is just dress up all the time.

[Teresa]

Susan,
I was using Danielles's " Dress up " expression from her thread , personally I'm Teresa everyday so I have makeup and my wig on no matter what I'm doing . As for who is wearing skirts and dresses the most , in my local supermarket I often see a TG in a skirt but then I had a word with a lady wearing a dress , OK she did stand out as the only GG wearing one at the time but I was wearing a denim skirt and wedges at the same time .

Sherry ,
I'm wondering what you would do if you had your time all over again ?

[alwayshave]

I'm with Sara, I'd dress two to three times a week. I don't need to dress every day, but like to dress regularly.

[suzanne]

No restrictions, I'd be pretty much as i am right now. I am already in women's clothes almost 100% of the time. Exceptions are work, where the job is dirty and ruggedness is essential, and out in public with my wife. With her, its still all female clothes except no dresses or skirts, so that would only change a little. Right now, my pants are yoga pants and my shoes are flats, wedges and sometimes even heels. The look comes across as androgynous.

[DanielleDubois]

Theresa, I answered your questions in my original thread. Thanks for asking them.

Danielle Dubois

[Joni T]

My wife knows and is accepting and encouraging. I have no restrictions and can dress as freely as I want to or don't want to.
Jon

[Princess Chantal]

Got no restrictions or challenges, dust and cobwebs gathered on my heels most often has to be wiped away in between crossdressing sessions.

[Stephanie47]

In the past I have had ample time to be en femme 24/7. My wife would go to Chicago to visit our daughter for seven to ten days. Sometimes she went to Phoenix for a seven to eight days to visit her cousin. I took over the rack in the walk-in closet, lined my heels up at the foot of the bed. I went out for drives and strolls. There were days when I went from a nightgown to a dress back to a nightgown in the evening. She went when the fall or early spring when there was no outside work to be done. The only problem was social isolation. As an in-home dresser with the occasional drives and strolls there was no interaction. As someone who is over seventy there is not too much night life I would be drawn to. I do enjoy my male self, so I do not believe I would become a 24/7 365 days a year dresser. Sometimes I am amazed to read on this forum of prolong droughts between en femme sessions. When I was in that state of mind it drove me crazy.

[SaraLin]

I know I've asked this question before :- If you had no restrictions how far would you truthfully like to go ?


I can only IMAGINE where I would go, since there are plenty of restrictions in my life - and yes, I'm sure some of them are self-imposed.

IF I could overcome my self-doubts and fears, and I had:

No restrictions from my SO?
I'd break out and use my feminine day-wear wardrobe (skirts, bras, dresses, etc.). My wig, makeup, etc. would also be a big part of it.

No restrictions from my SO or finances?
I'm sure I'd be expanding my wardrobe considerably. I don't have much these days, and it's way out of style.

No restrictions from my SO or finances, or social pressure?
I'd be out and about - just trying to be"one of the girls"

No SO, financial, social, or physical restrictions?
I'd BE one of the girls.


As the saying goes "I live in a fantasy world, but it's OK - they know me there."

[MonicaPVD]

I can only IMAGINE where I would go, since there are plenty of restrictions in my life - and yes, I'm sure some of them are self-imposed.

IF I could overcome my self-doubts and fears, and I had:

No restrictions from my SO?
I'd break out and use my feminine day-wear wardrobe (skirts, bras, dresses, etc.). My wig, makeup, etc. would also be a big part of it.

No restrictions from my SO or finances?
I'm sure I'd be expanding my wardrobe considerably. I don't have much these days, and it's way out of style.

No restrictions from my SO or finances, or social pressure?
I'd be out and about - just trying to be"one of the girls"

No SO, financial, social, or physical restrictions?
I'd BE one of the girls.


As the saying goes "I live in a fantasy world, but it's OK - they know me there."

I second this motion.

[Ressie]

I can also relate to SaraLin in post 26. Yes, most restrictions are self imposed and pretty much out of fear or self-doubt.

I'm still afraid to come out to family members or maybe just don't want to. I was living alone and dressing whenever I wanted (at home) but I had to let a family member move in due to the pandemic.

Also, if I really felt the need to come out to the world as TG I shoulda, woulda, coulda done it by now! For someone that told their mom 50 years ago the he wanted to be a girl, I'm pretty much still in the closet.

I've been out dressed with other CDs and I liked the feeling of being free to do so. And I'd love to spend more time dressed in public to test out my feelings on the matter.

Wrapping it up, it's a hard question to know how to answer with any certainty.

[Tina Davis]

I agree with Jamie (post #20) and Sara (post #3) that I would not dress every day, but would be very happy to do so on a regular basis. A couple of times a week, plus any special occasions or travel where I would dress every day.

[Natalie5004]

Dress time for me would start more often but if the excitement of DSDS (don't see don't show) challenges from my wife I think the dressing would diminish after dressing every day for weeks. I have 3 full days last week and my feet were killing me. I bought the wrong size heels..

But I would leave the house and go out. I would love to have a group of real girls to hang with and go out for drinks and dinner. Place me in a group of 4 women and I think I would be the "tall one". That would be a blast. I need to get a purse first.

So yes, I would start strong and then peter out somewhat. But it would be my choice. I have no desire to transition to a woman. I just love women and want to be with them, dressed preferred. Still need my man parts.

[Helen Waite]

If I had no restrictions, I'd dress far more often, as my wardrobe would have its own accessible place instead of being a pain in the backside to pull from hiding. With no restrictions, I'd also actually get out and socialize at the various events which were regularly scheduled pre-Corona.

[Krisi]

Any restrictions I have are pretty much self imposed. Don't let anyone I know see me dressed, don't embarrass my wife, family, etc.

So I would love to be able to get dressed up, walk out the door, go shopping, etc., but I know better than to do that. There are things that I want to keep doing as a male that would be difficult if it was known that I was a crossdresser.

[NancySue]

With my wonderful, encouraging, supportive wife. I have no restrictions. I think I?m about as erratic as others...some days more, some days less, etc. I do wear panties daily and a bra most days. Beyond on that, who knows? I love the freedom..thanks to her. Yesterday, to the nines. Today, basics.

[BrendaPDX]

I am really not sure, I would be at least three to four days a week in dresses and skirts to start. I would probably then go into blending mode (skinny jeans, knit tops) for a while (couple of months) and end up back at once a month or so "full on transformation".

[Teresa]

Brenda,
Being out and about is dictated to a point depending on the weather , I've been out today just in a skirt and Tshirt to do all my chores , it so hot it's the only sensible thing to wear , especially inside the garden centre where I bought my bedding plants . I look round and wonder why more women aren't dumping leggins and trousers to wear a skirt or sundress .

Krisi ,
Do you think that one word , " Crossdresser " is your biggest obstacle ? What would you response be if your wife and family told you they had no objections at all ?

Ressie,
It is a hard question to answer , how can it truthfuly be answered until it's been tried ? The problem is when we do it opens up another can of worms and we face new questions .

[Lana Mae]

I do not wear men's clothes! I am Lana Mae 24/7! That said, I am mostly in jeans and a top of one sort or another! I have unlimited freedom to dress except at work and that will change once I can change my name on my nursing license! They are now "my" clothes and dressing is more mundane! I do wear skirts and a top or a dress for appointments and possibly when I go out to eat or do clothes shopping! Hugs Lana Mae

[Patience]

With no restrictions, I would probably be dressed all the time except at work.

As things stand, I just wear my forms and underdress. Works for me.

[Bea_]

"If you had no restrictions how far would you truthfully like to go ?"

i'd be a public man-in-a-dress. No desire to pass. i would be the man that I want to be rather than a woman. I'm in a denim skirt right now that i'll have to change for a pair of shorts to get out in an hour or so. i'd like the drama-free choice to wear the skirt out on errands. I know a lot of members would say 'just go for it' but that choice doesn't pass the cost/benefit test for me.

[CrossKimmy]

If I had no restrictions, I would be dressed almost all the time. No doubt!

[Paulie Birmingham]

I don't think anything would change. I don't dress as much as most of you, and I dont think that would change much. I usually only underdress and I'm even doing less of that.

[wendy]

No restrictions is pretty broad.

If there was no money and space restrictions, I would continue buying as many blouses/skirts/one piece swimsuits as I can. Throw in there several evening gowns and wedding dresses for good measure.

If there was no SO restrictions, I would live life as Wendy for nearly 24/7.

If there was no societal restrictions, I would go to work as Wendy, and pretty much do everything as Wendy. I'd work out in girl mode too.

I would not consider a sex change, but purchase appliances that would temporarily alter down there for bathroom use as a girl.

[FairyCrossdresser]

For me it is almost like recharging a battery. If I have an extended period when I can?t dress (which happened a lot when I was younger - not so much these days) I find the urge builds up until I am able to release.

On the other hand, if I am occupied I am usually able to hold my dressing at bay, so it doesn?t affect my work, for instance. I am furloughed at the minute and whilst it varies from day to day, I?ll often start the day off in many mode? but be in a sparkly dress and heels by lunch - so possibly a boredom element there?

[DTelia]

I was posting a reply to Danille Dubois's thread when I posed her a question , I thought it might be an interesting question to ask other members .

If you didn't have the restrictions and challenges of your " Dress up " time would you still want or need to to do it ?

I know I've asked this question before :- If you had no restrictions how far would you truthfully like to go ?

I basically have no restrictions. The wife wants me to do it more...granted neither of us would want the children to be around, and obviously Covid-19 took away three months of opportunity, but I don?t mind at all

So the restriction situation isn?t applicable to me.

In my opinion, I don?t think I would dress at all if not for the urging of my wife, as she believes it helps me. If no kids were in the picture at all or out of the house, etc, I think I would probably dress a couple times a month...maybe more.

Two other points:

1. Dressing takes time & work. There are factors that can help this... I.e. when my hair is long, I don?t need a wig.

2. Speaking of hair...because that?s what I like most, when it?s longer...it satisfies the urges for me...(pink fog management)

So...back to the original question. If my hair were as long as I want it (shoulder length), I would probably do something w/it every day. I have avoided growing it for 40+ years...I?ve gotten to the collar a couple times, but always wimped out...my wife is interfering now, so we will see. If I get to a legit length (all hair in a ponytail) that would be nirvana for me and the wife knows it. So the OP question from Teresa will be more interesting at that time. As I feminize my hair into fun styles, will I want to match it w/the rest of the look? I think the answer to that is yes. Hoping I get to live that experiment.. It?s going to be very tough (thank you business and conservative world).

[Teresa]

Wendy,
Maybe I should have been more specific , the question wasn't asked from the monetary angle , although I know that can also be a sore point with some wives/partners .

[MarinaTwelve200]

With this COVID thing , I haven't been able to dress for THREE MONTHS. (People in the house) If left by myself (Single) I would likely dress about every two weeks (About the length a good dressing "FIX" lasts me before I begin to get "Antsy") Previously I have been able go get ONE good session a month---Not enough but OK. I have a NEW and realistic BLONDE wig I wanna try out, and some vintage seamed hose just screaming to be worn----And nothing I can do about it for now.

[JennniferMcC]

My wife is currently only ok with me underdressing in my pantyhose (as long as she doesn't see or know) but is no longer ok with anything more. I'm hopeful that will change someday. If I had no restrictions...hmmm...If I had no restrictions I would probably be dressed at least 50% of my time at home and underdressed to some degree or other most of the time. That's called heaven to me.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Teresa :hugs:, If I could I would probably stay dressed all day, >Orchid ..O:daydreaming:O..

[Brenda Freeman]

If I had no restrictions that could be expensive! Ha. I would dress more for sure and have more time to work on make up skills.

[ShelbyDawn]

There are personal restrictions and social restrictions.

Currently I have no personal restrictions and I dress all the time, of course my dressing is different from yours; I wear panties and a bra every day, my jeans and shorts are are all women's jeans and shorts, my undershirts are all women's tank tops, while my tops are just generic polo's and button downs that I wear because that's what I like to wear.

At home, I wear skirts and dresses, because they are comfortable, and most of the time my favorite wig. I don't do makeup because I don't do it well and, honestly, I am color blind so I'm never sure what it looks like when I do anyway. :)

Any female clothing is just part of my wardrobe now with a qualification; those social restrictions...

If there were no social restrictions, I would wear the skirts and dresses out every day as the mood struck me and the weather allowed. I would also expand my wardrobe to include a wider variety of female styles, especially shoes,of which I currently only have one pair of sandals because I never really get to wear them and wearing heels just around the house is not my thing

[franlee]

I can honestly say I would still dress regardless of restriction. And the only restrictions I have are self imposed so I believe I would perhaps dress a little more if the restrictions on Public Acceptance was nonexistent.

[Abby-Becca]

I have a wonderful wife and count myself as very, very blessed, so I can dress exactly as I wish to, when I wish to. There are restrictions I do place on myself, like if I go out dressed, it will be deliberately understated and designed to blend in so people don't look too closely at what I have on, for example women's jeans without any fancy adornments or embroidery. I won't wear skirts, dresses or obviously female clothing outdoors as I don't want the attention.

[Teresa]

Shelby,
By social restrictions do you mean work or pleasure or both ? I've never had to think about pressures from work as I was self employed before I retired . Otherwise pressures from society soon prove to be non-existent it's all in the mind . Some say they would get bored with it I guess it depends on what drives the need , to me just being normal isn't boring when I think about the alternative . Yeesterday for instance I was planting my flower pots and ran short of plants , I was wearing jeans and a Tshirt which I found too hot so changed into a cotton skirt with a thin loose top with wedges and headed off to the garden centre . I was just treated like any lady shopper , I wasn't looking for reactions and didn't notice any , the sales lady was lovely and we chatted for a few moments , no restrictions and no pressure .

[jacques]

hello Teresa,
if there were no restrictions (and in reality the only restriction in the UK is the social taboo) it would be great, but my style might well change to something more age appropriate and I think I would mix men's and women's clothing more.
stay healthy,
luv J

[FairyCrossdresser]

I know what you mean, Jacques. Given our fairly healthy LGBT community in the U.K. I am constantly surprised by just how seldom I see someone else out dressed.

[ShelbyDawn]

Teresa,
Personal and social seemed like such a good word choice when I wrote my response to your post. :)

Let me try to clarify-
What I was intending to differentiate was those choices that impacted only me; dressing at home and going places where no one will recognize me fit in this category, and those that would adversely impact people I care about, my two sons specifically. Were I to go public, it could/would negatively impact my boys, age 16 and 20, and that is a choice I choose not to make. Additionally, I have an ex-wife that I still have to deal with that suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder; her reaction impacts my sons, so I take it onto consideration.

Perhaps, i reversed the two words because there really are no social restrictions because, as you have, I have discovered that people in general don't care. It is the personal ramifications that I concern myself with and that keep me from moving forward.

And as for work, it appears to be a non-issue as I just received an email about LGBTQ activities including Drag 101 hosted by the companies own drag queen. Just have to deal with the clients and their requirements.

[Teresa]

Jacques,
I've found there really is no social tabboo once you've made that committment , I wonder if mixing male and female might give you problems , I've never tried it and now don't feel there's any point .

FairyCDer,
In that case we must be getting very good at it .

Shelby ,
Thanks for that so it's close family that is the main obstacle . I'm not going to say that part is easy , it depends how much we care and I beleive most of us care almost too much . In that respect my wife holds all the ace cards and she knows it as I found out recently in another heated phone call .

I think you could be surprised even by people that do know you will still have to spell it out before the penny drops .

In some respects I am fairly lucky my daughter and her family totally accept me , I've been out several time with her . My son is partly trying to avoid the issue but he's more affected by my wife but then I have my two young grandsons to consider , I'm just biding my time with that situation .

[Pixie_94]

No idea, to be honest. I'm the kind of person who rather stays away from it or that used to look for a "cure".

[FairyCrossdresser]

TBF, any question of there being a social taboo evaporated in my case a long time ago when I was ?outed? while still at school.

I hope your theory about us being good at it holds true, though - Heather does try very hard when she takes over.

[josie_S]

I wish I had FEWER restrictions now, so I could dress more often and go out again. But before I moved in with my SO, I lived alone and when I was single, I still only dressed up once every month or so. Granted, I was dealing with other restrictions then, namely a lack of self-acceptance, but ironically, I've dealt with that pretty well with my therapist, so if I had an accepting SO and/or found myself single, I wonder how much my dressing would increase. I don't think I'd find myself transitioning, but I might be tempted to remain mostly smooth from the neck down, and I would probably be more open and try to have more cd girlfriends (platonic) and be less concerned about 'how it might look' to others. All to say that my self-imposed restrictions are probably more of an obstacle than anything else.

[Bea_]

I ended up reading right over your first question earlier and answered the second.

"If you didn't have the restrictions and challenges of your " Dress up " time would you still want or need to to do it ?"

I'm retired. My wife is mostly accepting. And, we are at home most of the time. At home, there are very few restrictions as long as we're not expecting company. I am VERY inclined to dress pretty, pretty much every day.

[Teresa]

FairyCDer,
OK I'll go over my trip out today , first stop was a garden centre where I got a very polite " Madam " from a sales guy . Next Matalan have re-opened so I popped in on the way back home , I was holding a skirt up against myself ( no fitting rooms at the moment )when a lady shopper glanced over so I asked what she thought , she repied ," You've got great knees and legs so why not . " we then chatted for a few minutes she said she wished she had better legs like mine and a smaller bust more like mine . We then got onto talking about children and grandchildren , I could tell she's totally accepted me as female by her questions about the grandchildren , she didn't have any and regreted it . As I exited the shop I thanked the guy controlling the flow of customers , as I did so a lady with daughter told me she loved my skirt /Tshirt combination and had I bought it in the store , I told her the skirt was a charity shop find , a lovely navy spotted by Planet .

No theory just everyday and very normal .

[Davinnia]

I dress 3 or 4 times a week, changing about 2.00 pm until bedtime. My wife is fully accepting but I don't want to push my luck. I have plenty of fem clothes I wear in drab, jeans etc & always underdress. Some days I can't be bothered dressing, too cold/hot to change or just don't feel like it. I would love to dress all day but only do that if my wife is out early which isn't happening during lockdown. I'm happy with the balance I have, which is the main thing & my wife is happy as well.

[JenniferMBlack]

I can answer this question and not be hypothetical. Having removed the restrictions of dress up time and dressing when I wanted led to me wanting more. Now I am pretty much full time and seriously thinking transitioning. So if there were no restrictions yes I would still do it and then do it some more.

[April Rose]

I have often thought that most of the problems surrounding crossdressing are sociological. So removing any restrictions on it are removing my personal hang ups about it as much as anything else.
With absolutely no restrictions I think my all day everyday presentation would be non binary/femme on a masculine body. I.e: A man in a dress, but a ladylike one.

[Teresa]

April,
I would guess most people's hang ups are based on social pressures .

[DanielleCD]

Hmmmm... if I had no restrictions. I would probably dress most days for at least part of the day depending on what errands and chores I had lined up. I enjoy cleaning and cooking while enfemme.. just feels right for some reason. I would underdress as much as possible when out and about. I would spend a lot more time practicing makeup in hopes that I would get good enough, that with a wig and some shaping, I would pass in public and venture out.

With the pandemic, I've really had almost zero dress up time as my wife won't venture out much.. so far I've managed but I have days I wish she could go out shopping and stuff for half a day.

[Star01]

I already commented on this thread once but was looking through the replies and thought more about it. I'm in a dadt and I can underdress but I keep myself shaved smooth along with subtle grooming touches like eyebrows and nails. Looking at the times I am alone for a few days I tend to like to work in drab, usually shorts and t-shirt this time of year, and maintain all of my yard equipment and have done my own remodeling. If I could dress anytime I wanted I'd probably continue to do that as I don't want to have to attempt to protect good clothes from paint and grease. I'm kind of a country bumpkin who is not fashionable in drab and I don't see being able to dress openly changing my personality or making me a fashionable dresser en femme. In other words if our more fashionable sisters were looking for someone to dance the night away with they wouldn't pick me. My style is more like under a blanket on the couch watching a movie partially dressed and fashion is never given much consideration.

[laura.lapinski]

If there were no restrictions, such as familiar consequences (being ridiculed and/or exiled), no consequences on income ability etcetera, and I would be like starting a new life with all new friends and identity, never to return to the past life, then lets just say I would go a lot further. This is a kind of fantasy type thinking where one controls all the variables, so its fun to do as an exercise in thought.

For starters, I know I would get a total, professional make-over. The kind that makes almost any male passable-looking. And, I would learn to do these make-overs on myself. I would do my nails, toes, get my ear's pierced, and grow my hair long and have it styled fem. I would wear sexy, but not over the top types of outfits.

Extrapolating, and guessing/predicting a bit I would say that once I was presenting as stated above, I could see a whole mind-shift could start to happen. I might want to do HRT, breast enhancement and so forth, and I wouldn't be surprised if other aspects of my behavior changed. For some, and it's scary to think that maybe for me, once you go far enough down a certain road, a type of obsession could set in. Call it addiction. Or, call it just ones true self coming out? It's hard do know where the line is. It could be you would just adapt to a new, but different normal lifestyle.

This was an interesting, scary, and fun question posted by the OP. I will now go back and read what others have written.

[Teresa]

Laura,
At one time I considered it an exercise in thought , it could never happen for me , lesson learned , "Never say never !"

Never had a professional makeover all I needed to do was get my skin colour checked and let the SA/beautician show me how to apply it all , very interesting experience when sitting in the chair in drab with customers passing by , scary but helped build confidence .

Obsession or an addiction ? Really true self coming into being and being honest with yourself , eventually you have to adapt so it does become normal but that doesn't mean boring . I guess it all depends what your needs are , the highs don't go away they just change , it just feels good to be out in the RW without those feelings of ridicule . As you can see from my avatar enjoying my art at my painting group .

I do understand the restrictions and I know what it's like to overcome them , I have to say it's worth it .

[dominique]

If I had no restrictions I would certainly go as near as full time as possible for a certain period of time. Then no doubt over time it would taper off to a level which I feel is comfortable.

[JustJessie]

With no restrictions? I would increase my wardrobe, maybe spend a couple of times a week dressed up.
Would look at getting a wig and some boots

[Teresa]

Jessie,
Do you expect it to stop at twice a week , go get the wig and boots just to be ready .

[JustJessie]

Don't know, possibly see how it goes. Would prefer to get my own place first before expanding my wardrobe.

[Ashlee]

I'd dress up more and stay dressed longer if I had the chance. One summer I had a few days alone and dressed but lasted until about 4-5 pm before I was "ok,..that's enough". It wasn't the heels or anything it was just boredom and it being nice out that made me change. Shaving the face is the PITA for me i tend to stay scruffy when I don't have to work and shaving the face sucks. I do love showering, shaving and then getting dressed up completely as a woman with the application of perfume the final piece with that look in the mirror.

[Jane G]

Well since my teen years there has always been an element of dare about crossdressing that often adds to the fun but also the stress. However as with most it started much younger and was a very natural thing. So in answer to your question, it would likely just make my life less complicated. It would most certainly not stop me crossdressing.

[manemami]

I will love to wear lingerie 24 hours, but will love to be enfemm when at home as I don't like to do make up, but like to be in full attire when at home.

[Yinlingyen]

I would dress full time.

[Katiedreams]

I will love to wear lingerie 24 hours, but will love to be enfemm when at home as I don't like to do make up, but like to be in full attire when at home.

Warning, wearing full lingerie 24/7 might be hard on your skin. :)

Have slept on garter belt and stockings many times. And have good fit non decorated ones. It is OK for week, after that pantyhose all the way for me, till next urge.

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Well since my teen years there has always been an element of dare about crossdressing that often adds to the fun but also the stress. However as with most it started much younger and was a very natural thing. So in answer to your question, it would likely just make my life less complicated. It would most certainly not stop me crossdressing.

Hi Jane.

I am single, so pretty free to do what I want.

I have about perfect apartment.

- no way to look directly to my balcony
- if i am at say, barechested but with full "kit" downstairs, no-one is wiser. :)

I can talk to neighbours wearing garter belt and stockings.

Mostly i am in proper dress ofcourse, and if not overly flowery and some 1/million people noticing half lenght sleeves of dress, i can live without thinking how I am dressed.

[krissy]

i would dress every day. i dreamed of living on my own and dressing every day at home .but crossdressing can be a lonely life dressing means alot to me but i also want a loving person to hold me and say its okay.

[Kandi Robbins]

If I were alone (and I pray that is NEVER the case), I would dress daily, principally live as a hybrid of me and Kandi, more Kandi.

But I am blessed to be able to dress often and have a wonderful family and marriage that I would never give up even if required me to never dress again.