How to meet CD friends

[dcdynamo15]

As I start to dress up more, I can?t help but think that it would be so much better with a friend. Where are some places I can search for CD friends? I?ve been looking at different apps and sites (like this one lol) but I?m having a little difficulty finding people to reach out to. I was wondering how some of the more experienced cross dressers here find people to dress with.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Dynamo

I suggest you try to find a local support group.

You will find a lot of information here too.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Try Meetup. Search for LGBT in your area. I'm a member of several local groups.

The largest outing I went to consisted of almost 100 girls like us, but they've tended to be about half that lately.

Also, most local colleges have some kind of an LGBT group, if you're in that age bracket.

Don't forget that meetups are pretty much on full stop right now due to Coronavirus.

Also, when you get 10 posts you can PM members here.

I guess I've met about a dozen members FtF.

Don't forget to take safety measures into account when meeting someone. In particular, meet in a public space like a restaurant in an area with which you're familiar, and set expectations in advance. And if at any time it seems icky, book it.

A lot of times, I've done advance "recon" before meeting.

[Sally Paradise]

Searching for lgbt friendly clubs and bars through yelp actually worked for me. There are a couple crossdresser friendly places in my area that I found that way.

[Sallee]

Thats a difficult thing to do I think. Many folks are in the closet and not out at all and we for the most all have other guy lives. Support groups are a good thing I have met several people that way. But as long as I have been cross dressing, I'm 73, so its a long time I have only one friend who now lives in another state. I know several CD's here and occaisionally I run into people I know in clubs that I may attend. I don't club very often. I think I can say I have no CD friends here that I could call and go hang with for a night or afternoon out. I would say out side of support groups I have hung out with other CDs maybe 5 or 6 times. I have met a good number at various support groups but people drop out, including me and have other lives and commitments Good luck It all depends on you

[Robertacd]

Unless you live in or near a large city with an active CD/TG social club, other than actually going out and meeting people, forget it...

I have tried all the usual online places, here, Craigslist, Meetup, URnotalone, Facebook, etc... Only to have the one person (in 20 years that didn't just want sex) who responded, back out every single time we made plans to meet.

The main problem we have is too many of us are afraid to go out unless it is a huge organized CD/TG event. I get it, safety in numbers has it's draw.

Also most people online looking for someone to "play dress up with" are only looking for a "hook up" and not really interested in going out or being friends at all. I believe Doc has written about this recently.

It comes down to those of us who go out are out and about, you can probably find us at a local (CD/TG friendly) club on a Friday, Saturday, or any night that has a Drag Show.

Come out and meet us!

[Stephanie47]

Perhaps attending a cross dressing function where one can test the waters of interaction and see what comes of it. In Washington State there is an annual "Esprit Gala" (cancelled this year due to coronavirus) in Port Angeles, WA. It's been going on for thirty years. Book a room at a good hosting hotel. Have fun for up to a week. Go home at the end and maybe having met some people who you have more in common than being a cross dresser. That's the big hurdle for me. What else would I have in common with someone else?

[Ericka_d]

Im with Roberta on this one mostly. I have given up on meeting trans and cd woman for the most part. I talked to a lot of them. I have even met a few cds in person. No matter how long we have talked. They always do one of two things. The flake on me, or blow me off. Even after going out together a few times.

At this current time. Im ok not meeting any one. I got sick of the games, and I do my own thing.

[Star01]

I'll be 69 in a few months, I dress discretely and don't go out in public and even if I wanted to join a CD group the closest would be in Minneapolis. Anyone who watches the news can relate to why I don't want to go there right now. I'm more country than city, older than younger and I drive a good running but junky looking second vehicle that is mostly used for hauling. I'm not complaining but just pointing out that there must be a large number of silent frustrated ones like myself who are locked into our circumstances. I'm not the type (or age) to go out clubbing and dancing the night away so when put all together I think it's easy to see why I'm frustrated. Finding and joining a group would be very difficult.

[AllieSF]

I have had great luck meeting people here on this site. The first two were a somewhat local girl and the other was a traveler who came to the San Francisco area for business and liked going out. The local one has somewhat disappeared and the traveler still travels here but not so often. In the beginning I was the one who reached out to find a partner to go out with and dine and drink. After awhile other travelers to SF who were members of this site reached out to me, plus a few locals. Some of the travelers I only went out with once, others more. Also, As I and we, became regulars at SF wine bars and restaurants we met many other people, including a few trans women who became our friends and acquaintances.

So, it can work if you put enough work into it. Try what others have already said and good luck,

Allie

[Robertacd]

Perhaps attending a cross dressing function where one can test the waters of interaction and see what comes of it. In Washington State there is an annual "Esprit Gala"

Again this is a good way to get your feet wet in public (safety in numbers). I went to Esprit last year, and while I made a lot of friends. They all live in Seattle (>100 miles), Portland (>300 miles), or even further away.

[Jean 103]

Allie is right.

If you put enough effort into it, who knows.

A few years ago I made friends with one of the members who lives north of me. It's about a two hour drive I've made it twice.

The second time was a dinner party she threw at her beautiful house in the hills outside of Monterey. As many who attended had a long drive many of us spent the night. Allie was one of them.

It is a dinner I will never forget. Besides being this enchanted night, it was where I was at in my journey.

At the time l was interested in meeting and making friends as Jean.

I ended up making lots of friends. Just most all are women, which is fine. So I started off in one direction and ended up going in another, that's just life.

[docrobbysherry]

Before Covid, there were large trans meet ups all over the country. I had never met another dresser until I went to the SCC in Atlanta 10 years ago. Since then, I've attended some events in Minneapolis and dozens in Vegas, DLV and WildSide. :drink:

Now, I know 100's of trans. Many of whom live near me. And, before Covid there were 2 or 3 T events nearby every week I was invited to!:hugs:

By the way. I'm a closet dresser. No one except immediate family and 100's of T's know I dress!:battingeyelashes:

[Marguarite]

Hello Dynamo,

One of the places I have felt very comfortable going, was a " Hamburger Mary's". Go dressed, have a great night out, and talk to at least the Staff.
They at least have a similar story or know of someone, you might be surprised.

Good Luck, Marg

[NatashaHexx]

I've had some luck meeting people using local Kik groups and Fetlife.

[AllieSF]

Oh Jean,

I so remember that weekend. It was a true dream for me and all of us except for the friend I brought I met in some way from this site. Thank you Hell on Heels and your lovely wife for accepting us into your home and lives.

Dynamo it can be done and it takes your effort and some luck, and please do not give up too soon.

Allie

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm not complaining but just pointing out that there must be a large number of silent frustrated ones like myself who are locked into our circumstances. I'm not the type (or age) to go out clubbing and dancing the night away so when put all together I think it's easy to see why I'm frustrated. Finding and joining a group would be very difficult.

There used to be a pretty good size group in MSP. One of our members started it. Could you be interested in that. If so, PM me and I'll spill it.

[MiniRock]

it would be so much better with a friend

Personally, I would love to find a big tall genetic girl who loves wearing high heels and mini skirts to go out with. But they're almost as rare as men who like to do it.

[JennasPanties]

Hahaha, you and me both doll!

[susan54]

Meeting with another CD is not something I wish to do. I have only done it once and it was not a success. My socialising when dressed is all with GGs. I prefer the company of women however I am dressed. It might be enough for some CDs that all they need to have in common with someone to get on well together is to like the same clothes but even on this site I feel like a loner because I seem to do it for different reasons from most of you. But good luck to those who want to have CD friends. I think the only way it would work for me is if one of my existing friends came out as CD. I do have some male friends!

[Jane G]

Before Covid, there were large trans meet ups all over the country. I had never met another dresser until I went to the SCC in Atlanta 10 years ago. Since then, I've attended some events in Minneapolis and dozens in Vegas, DLV and WildSide. :drink:

Now, I know 100's of trans. Many of whom live near me. And, before Covid there were 2 or 3 T events nearby every week I was invited to!:hugs:

By the way. I'm a closet dresser. No one except immediate family and 100's of T's know I dress!:battingeyelashes:

It has been a while since I visited the site. Doc you are simply the best. I love a good oxymoron.

[Jenny22]

Hi, Dyna! Start by making friends with your forum sisters who live in your vicinity. Look at the locations when we ladies post. Then, start to PM with those you find, and ask to be friends. From then on, PM as needed. I've done this for all the time I've been a forum member and now have about 100 forum friends. I've met several and have dined with them. You can do this, too. Good luck!

[VtVicky]

Depending on where in the DC area you live, (for example, north of the city in MD near the PA border) you might consider attending one of the CD/TG weekends at the Rainbow Resort in PA. Extremely friendly and accepting staff and guests. The first time I went there, while I was eating dinner, one of a group of about 6 people invited me to join them. I did for desert. And, never ate, or drank, alone for the entire weekend. That was the first time I had ever been out in public dressed. Inside of 30 minutes, it was like I had been doing this for years.

The next CD/TG weekend is scheduled for June 26-28. But, you might check their website to see if the COVID-19 situation has forced any changes.

[Veronica4me]

Type "crossdresser group near me" and "transgender group near me" in Google and a slew of choices will come up. They may not be near you, but you will see what's out there.

[Micki_Finn]

This comes up fairly frequently. In my experience, there are a lot of crossdressers out there in the same boat as you. They?re just looking for a friend to dress up with and talk about their experience. On the other hand there are also a lot of people like me who aren?t really looking for that. When I make a friend, there has to be more connection than ?oh you wear women?s clothes too?.
CD social groups are good if you?re more in the former category. If you?re more in the latter, I agree with Sally, you have to go out where the dressers are. And what?s more you have to SOCIALIZE! I can?t tell you the number of CDs I?ve seen walk into the club, sit down by themselves with a drink, and just sit there looking scared and nervous hoping that someone will talk to them. Then after a few minutes they get up and leave. Or else they?ll come in with a GG, and I?ll see them watching longingly as the queens all talk and have a good time. Initiate a conversation! Don?t be a wallflower.
You have to remember that most clubs and bars that are CD friendly are a home-away-from-home for a lot of CDers and Drag queens, so it?s often like a family where everyone knows everyone already, so you kind of have to make your presence known if you want to meet people.
Apps and sites are ok. I?ve had some nice conversations with girls there, but the problem is that most are fairly dating/sex/hook-up oriented. There is also a perception within the lgbt community that ?crossdresser? basically means a man that dresses up for sexual kicks, so you may want to be aware of that and the verbiage you use.

[Brenda Freeman]

New to crossdressing and knowing no one I found a tgirl event a few hours away called Esprit lasts for a week, I only went a couple of days. I met several girls from Portland attending. This is where I first met other girls and found and became friends with tgirls in my own town and now meet for dinner occasionally. It was kind of nice starting away from home as I only participated when I wanted, no pressure. Like many have said a LGBT bar can be a place to try. Usually there website will give an idea about who goes.

[Holly]

Check out your local LGBTQ center. That would be a good place to start.:battingeyelashes: