Thinking of finally telling my wife

[uwho1976]

Any suggestions, as it is her bra and panties etc that I wear.

[Paulie Birmingham]

Buy your own.

[Micki_Finn]

It’s really tough to give specific suggestions without knowing a lot more about you, your dressing, your wife, and your relationship, but in general be honest, hope for the best, and brace for the worst.

[Vicky_Scot]

She never questioned or noticed anything about her lingerie being worn like misshaped, stretched or marked?

You must put them away carefully as woman sure notice if their lingerie drawer is not as they left it or their bras and panties are folded different.

Try one night saying for a laugh can I wear one of your bras and panties for fun and judge her reaction.

X x x

[NancySue]

I wish you the best. Go slow, but you already have a challenge as most women do not like anyone else other then themselves to wear their clothes, especially their bras and panties, plus etc.

[kimdl93]

For starters, get your own panties and bra(s). Then think about what cross dressing represent for you and what you want to tell her.

[suzzi]

Hi sweetie ! Ive never revealed myself to past wives ,though i did wear their panties and bras the whole time i was with them ,im talking 5 diffrent women and wore all of their panties and some bras , the ones i fit !!! Hehehe !did tell a former girlfriend that i dressed and a former boyfriend ! The lady was like oh my dad does that too ! She was well aware of men in panties !!! Lol even though the gentleman was not ok with this and didnt want to see me any more ! K sera sera !!! I do this for me any how !!! 50\50 chance your wife will accept this ! Good luck sweetie !!

[Liz Jones]

Take it slow--how would you like 10tons of rock dropped on you from a great hight ? try bringing up crossdressing after seeing it on the news--note reaction.If good make vague comments about crossdressing &how a lot of men do it..... again note reaction&judge the speed &density of the debate as has been said only you can judge how & when but take it slow--reasure Her that you are still a man--its just that you have this "urge" inside you but above all else --be honest &answer all Her qustions. cant say anything about borrowed clothes----the Wife is slim -i am defo not!
Liz

[Di]

First buy your own things ( as many have said)
Second just be honest.
Third Tell her you were afraid to tell her but you have done this for x amount of years and you are the same person she loved all these years.
I read you are only interested in bras and panties and in a wheelchair as a GG I-would just want you to just be honest.

We have a FAB group here if she wants to connect with other GGs.
Best Wishes

[Shelly Preston]

I suggest you read the link in my signature on telling your partner

[Jenny22]

What Mickey Finn said. To try to help you in this area, we need to know more of what's in your book. You gave us just your cover.

[BTWimRobin]

Be upfront with her. Buy your own things. Read the sticky on How To Tell Your Partner and the sticky Tips on your SO Acceptance. Good luck!

[NatashaHexx]

When I had the conversation with my wife, one of the first things she asked is if I had ever worn any of her clothes (I haven't I have all my own stuff.) She said that made it easier to be supportive of. And then she gave me one of her old dresses.

[docrobbysherry]

Uwho, not knowing any details I can't give advice. Let me just say:

1. Even if u posted a volume about her here? U would STILL know her better than us.

2. I've been divorced and been shopping. And, I can verify that one divorce is more expensive than buying the entire lingerie stock in a Macy's store!:doh:
So, buying one bra and panties for yourself mite be a conservative and inexpensive place to start?:thumbsup:

[GretchenM]

What Di said. She is an accepting, genetically pure woman. Think about that. Why reinvent the wheel?

[Ameli]

This isn’t easy. Part of me that thinks it’s better to tell even if it goes bad. It feels way better to not have barriers between us, even when you’re left with something difficult To work through.

[Devi SM]

telling what? If I can ask.
Your post is not clear and we can get so many assumptions.
I imagine you are looking for some advice so against all the odds of negativity you can read here im a happy 41 years married, transwoman that came here 5 years ago as a crossdresser so I think I can give you some advice...

Devi

[Stephanie47]

Last year you indicated you ordered breast forms. The thread was closed before you could report they were received. If you ordered breast forms you could definitely order your own bra and panties. Assuming your wife does not know (You'd be surprised what a wife really knows and a guy thinks she is totally in the dark-NOT!) you may want to let her know you like to wear a woman's panty. Women can tell if someone has been messing around with their lingerie, especially if they are stretched out of shape. She may consider a panty more of a fetish than full blown emulating of a female. Perhaps throw the bra in later. In response to some skeptics in one of your previous threads using a wheel chair does not make a person totally immobile. Basically order your own panties and bras whether or not you tell your wife.

[Krisi]

I don't think anyone here can tell you how to tell your wife about your dressing. Every relationship is different and every woman is different.

You've already been told you shouldn't be wearing your wife's clothes, but as a practical matter, it would be pretty difficult for a guy to order correct sizes without something to compare to.

What I did was not to admit to my wife that I had been crossdressing, but just start gradually with her knowledge. How is that possible you ask? Well she asked me to order her some stretch bras from eBay. When they arrived she said "Are those my bras?" I said "No, my name is on the label" and I immediately put one on. She laughed. I said I need some panties to go with this bra. She gave me a couple pairs of old panties.

I don't want to write a book here, but I took each step gradually as I thought she was ready for it. I now walk around the house fully dressed as a woman with wig, forms and butt and hip padding whenever I want to.

You have to figure out what will work for you and understand that it's possible that nothing will work for you.

[Sally Paradise]

If you?re already thinking of telling her, I?ll throw in my 2 cents. My wife found out by accident and it was a rough time. All worked out in the end and we?re much closer now because of it, but, I definitely wish I would have told her sooner so that i could control the narrative. Also, she likes it, so we have could have been enjoying it together a lot sooner.

Obviously no two situations are identical, and I am very lucky to have it work out so well, but this is your journey, you need to do what feels right to you.

[Paulie Birmingham]

There is another thread about what level of CD a person is. Have you thought about what you want to be? When my wife and I had that discussion she assumed every CD wants to be the highest level according to that thread. (6, 7, 8 or whatever the levels were) According to that thread I am a 1 with parts of 2 & 3. When my wife finally believed me, all was good. But your wife is probably going to assume you will go to the extreme so be prepared. And contrary to what some people say, your journey can start and end at level 1.

[Natalie5004]

Well if you are from St John, NB. First question is she French or English? I think a French woman would bite your head off, a English woman knows lots about cross dressing men.

How is that for a stereotype of people I don't know?

In reality I would not just come out with it. Watch Monty Python together and comment on the cross dressers in every episode. See where it goes from there.

[Frannie7]

Uwho, I have just told my wife of 34 years (in March) and I didn't dress again until June. That was mostly my decision giving her time to process etc. In a passive-agressive way at the beginning of June she said "You want to anyway so just go ahead" or something to that effect. She didn't ask me if I wore her clothes or not but like others here have suggested, I would buy my own before telling her. After hiding it for some many years (8-10) I decided it was time. Our son had just moved out etc. She was more hurt buy the fact that I hid it for so long. She wasn't in favour of the dressing either but I guess we have some sort of arrangement now. Aside from that our relationship is great. She did say it was nothing we would get divorced over.

So, a few things
1. What is your motivation? If it is to dress when she is around, that may take some time. If it is to come clean, that's a good thing. Honesty is a good policy.
2. Don't have the chat at night. People are often tired etc. This is going to take so time for her to process and neither of you want to be up all night thinking about what the other has said. I have a loose rule about not chatting about things like this after 7.
3. Let her ask the questions and there are bound to be a lot. The obvious ones have been referred to and there is a suggested link with very good suggestions in one of the previous posts.
3. Expect a cooling off period where you hold off from dressing. This is all part of the processing time.
4. The more you talk the better, but generally let her bring up the topic. Unless, of course, there is no discussion for a while and you feel the need to talk it over more.
5. Don't make promises that you may not intend to keep. i.e. I won't dress anymore if you don't want me to or I'll only dress at home. Things like that.

I hope these give you something to think about along with what has already been expressed.

On a side note, I have been to St. John many times, having gone to university in Sackville. Go Mounties. Enjoy your summer and good luck

[DianeT]

What suggestions exactly? About telling or not telling? About how to tell? If you are decided to tell, Shelly's signature link is indeed a mandatory read. For the rest, I have been there and if I had any suggestion, it would be to stop using her stuff right now, at least if you don't intend to tell her in the short future. Buy your own. Then work on telling. Prepare it carefully, in your best interest and your wife's. My wife was devastated. She is mending slowly, as is our couple.