Transition at 40

[Amandartv]

Transitioning at 40 years old
Hi everyone I have questions and concerns for anyone who has transition late in life at least 40 and above. I have worries - like would I look good enough? Am I to late ? How would my body take it ? What risk are there? How do I start and go about doing this? Where do I go and who do I talk too? Where will I find the help? If I can?t afford it are there places to help me? I really want to do this like forever but always put it off and try to please everyone in my life but I?m tired I want to be happy and do this for me ! You know be me be free ! So if you can give me some input or suggestions are much welcomed. I know there probably things that have been discussed before so hope you don?t mind! Thanks again Mandy


Oh by the way I?m 40 now and can I develop hips and butt as well

[mbmeen12]

1st welcome to the forum...
Get to counseling! Planned parenthood and or to the VA if your a veteran. Google LGTQ centers in your local area for meetings. Sometimes local churches who are inclusive to other sexual orientations will hold meetings.

[Teresa]

Amanda,
Oh to be forty again ! No it's certainly not too old . The questions you pose are still the same questions I consider at 69 . I would suggest you consult a counsellor to get some of the questions straight in your mind . Whether you fully transition or not still doesn't stop you living life as a woman , there are no rules or qualifications , you live the life you're comfortable with , don't try and live your life through others . We all have different needs and our own way of dealing with them , that is the bottom line , get to know yourself and then accept it .

[Robertacd]

I know women who started transition in their 60's and they look great.

But the majority of your questions lead me to believe you should seek professional counseling before you do anything.

[Jenny22]

Amanda, go on line, and search under 'rules before transitioning' and you'll get a lot of good info and be led to more.

[Amandartv]

Thanks girls much luv

[Peggie Lee]

Hi Amanda, welcome to the forum, I started transition at 60 had SRS at 66 there is no right or wrong age to start living as your true self. It can be very daunting and scary.
I first found online groups then local LGBT groups that help with finding the right people to see for laser and medical providers along with knowledgeable therapists. I am currently 71.

[Sarah Doepner]

Amanda,

Start making steps and be sure to include seeing a counselor (or two as needed) and meeting other transgender folx. Be patient with others and yourself as you work through things, it may not feel like it but time is on your side.

I started my medical transition in my late 60's and will turn 71 tomorrow. I'm closer to being happy and content than I have in many years. I got involved in support groups about 20 years ago and over the last few years I've been changing my hormones, seeing a counselor and opening up to the world. Recently I started living full time and all my medical records have me listed as Sarah. I've not had surgeries and it may be a while as the medical community is appropriately focused on the Covid-10 pandemic. I'm not totally satisfied with my face or body, but they have become secondary to general health and living openly as myself.

In the last few years I've been shedding more and more of the artifice I accumulated as I attempted to create the impression of a woman in the mirror. Corsets, pads, wigs and breast forms all stay in the closet as I don't feel the need to use them since I am being honest with myself and others now. Looking "good" no longer means attempting to impersonate a woman, it's become being the best woman I can be. I think it's a sign that I've finally beaten back, but not totally vanquished that internal Transphobe that has been my biggest opponent for so many years. If it's not enough for others that's a problem they need to resolve.

[Jeri Ann]

Mandy this is a very unusual post.

You have been a member here almost seven years. Surely you have seen the advice and experiences of others written about here over the years.

If your concerns are legit, you need to start with a qualified therapist.

[Devi SM]

Mandy,
Even thought Jeri Ann has always a wise answer I want to try to answer your other questions because I see you're in a kind desperate place, so I was once in your shoes, that time, men's shoes that are no longer in my closet.

I don't want to share my experience and to brag of who I am today so I will be short and precise.

You're no old, if you think on transition as to get into hormones (HRT) hormones replacement therapy that includes other medicines than hormones, I started on that 2 years and two months ago. I'm now 60, near 61 years old, still married with the same woman for 41 years.

For me transition started in my 40's when I start shaving everyday my legs then the rest of the body without knowing why just because I feel more comfortable, later I switched to waxing, then home light pulse machine, kind of laser. Later I started my eyebrows, keep plucking my face down to stop in the upper lip what I did for around two years.

I haven't seen any picture of you as a male to tell you if you will be pretty but believe me with the time, patience and your own efforts you will feel pretty that's after all what matters.

Everything implies risks on life but, It;s my opinion that we, trans people, are in a safer place than no trans people because you will need to be constantly on medical professional monitoring (every 90 days lab, meet your endocrinologist, etc)

To add something different as estrogens to your body and testosterone blocker that is basically what is called HRT implies side effects.
The testosterone blocker I was 2 and 1 month taking has the side effect of to make you pee a lot so I had always cravings for salty food, lemon, pickles, etc. there are alternatives to that medicine but that is something that will be prescrive for an endocrinologist after your PCP will refer you after your therapist will refer you to, so you can see that the origen is to go to see your PCP, primary care provider, and explain your plan or problem.

I don't know if the state where you are, or if your health insurance covers all of this so just make an appointment with your primary doctor or physician assistant, medial professional.

If you don't have health insurance there are Parenthood clinics that can help you, google it.

The more important comment I can say is between all the changes I had had, the emotional is the more important.
Many here and in other places report the same, the peace of mind, the satisfaction that you are finally doing something for yourself is amazing.

Finally I have to say, that you will read many comments here, some for people that had no actually enough experience to post an opinion so they repeat what others had said, but all of us write just our opinions, some with more fundamenta other, as I say, just repeating what others told them.

You're almost to start a beautiful journey that will no exempt of tears but a lot of happiness just be patience because you're young and have a lot of time just go and check my profile, pics and posts to see the differences in few years.

Finally, I still in this website just for people as you so feel free to write me a personal message but as I said, I will tell you just my own experience.

mho.

Devi

[Katya@]

I came out as non-binary transgender publicly on FB to all friends and family at 40. For me, 40 was the line in a sand that I told myself I don't cross it hiding. Quiet a few people already knew but still a minority. By that point, I was medically transitioning for almost 2 years.
Yes, 40 is a great age to transition. With good health, you may still have as many years left to live as yourself !!!