What is the acceptance level of your wife or SO

[Crissy 107]

When I first came out to my wife years ago I would have rated her an 8 on a 1-10 scale with 10 being the highest. Unfortunately it went down from there and I would now rate her a 2.

[MaryAnn1963]

Well, that is 2 more than I would have. Mine does not know(I think) & from hearing her talk about men being feminine & presenting themselves as women, I would have to say she would be a 0 or less!

[wendy]

When I first came out, I would say 7 or 8. That has been a few years back, I would say he has remained pretty much consistent on her level of acceptance, I would say an 8 or 9. The only thing she is balking at now is the amount of clothes I've purchased for Wendy since I told her, which has been a lot (more worried about the amount of $$$ I've spent on clothing when it could be used towards upkeep of the house).

[jessica33]

I came out to my wife while we were dating and she is supportive. The level of support from her is 9 .

[Krisi]

My wife has come to accept or at least tolerate my dressing except for one thing: lipstick.

She will come home from the gym or shopping and I will be decked out in a wig, earrings, necklace and bracelets, bra and forms, padded hips, a dress or skirt and blouse and women's shoes. She will give me a kiss and carry on the rest of the day just as she would if I were wearing jeans and a tee shirt, but if I am wearing lipstick, she makes a comment about it.

I normally wear beard cover, lipstick and a bit of color on my cheeks. I haven't really gotten into eye makeup yet, mostly because of her reaction to the lipstick.

She hasn't worn makeup for years and her mother never wore makeup. Perhaps that's the reason for her objection.

And no going outside dressed or letting the neighbors find out. I'm OK with the neighbors thing. I've been trying to get her to go out in public with me as friends or sisters, but so far, no luck.

[suzanne]

Crispy, how does one go from fully supportive to almost not at all? I feel for you. It can't be easy on you.

[Crissy 107]

Suzanne, I am thinking you mean me. When I first came out to my wife she was very interested in this part of me. She gave me hand me downs, bought me my first Jockey No Panty Line Promise bikinis in a leopard print. She also painted my toes all the time and bought me a gift card for my first pedicure. We used to wear matching panties and really could not keep our hands off each other.
I never pushed to hard for anything but all of a sudden it, acceptance, was pretty much gone. When I asked her she did not want to talk and said she thought it was just a phase I was going through.

[Micki_Finn]

She’s my second biggest fan after my drag mother, so pretty high.

[Eve_cd]

I?d have to say fluctuating. When I first told her/made my big reveal, she was 11/10, internally that dropped to about a 3 before she told me she wasn?t into it which made things tough, I thought I was rolling with a full stamp of approval, and I was wrong. Awkwardness ensued and I became unable to talk about it with her(just couldn?t make the words come out of my mouth). Eventually, we found pathways, but every time I felt like it was hurting her I shut down again. It took a lot of uncomfortable times for me to truly understand that she was in it for the long run no matter what it look like. As we forge new ground, the number dips and recovers. I would say we hang steady in the 6-8/10 range for the most part.

[Robertacd]

When I came out to my wife as a crossdresser, she was probably an 8 but over time she dropped to 4 or 5.

When I finally came out to her as Transgender she became a 10 and is fully accepting and supporting.

[Stephanie47]

When we were young when we married. My desire or hatred of wearing women's clothing was in the distant past. I thought I had been "cured" or "out grown" any desire. It was years in the past. As a wedding gift I had bought my wife a lovely white peignoir. I knew nothing about women's sizes. It was a little to big for her petite frame, but she wore in anyway. One night I decided to try it on. I was sipping a glass of water in the kitchen when she walked in on me. She asked why I was wearing it. I told her the truth. I liked the feel of it, being nylon. Nylon full slips had been the article of clothing that had enticed me to wear my mother's clothing years prior. My wife and I spent many Saturdays in mid town Manhattan which usually meant buying her negligees. Eventually we bought together several negligees for me; a pink peignoir and a black floor length gown. She gave me a red peignoir one of our friends gave her which she did not like. I ended up not liking it too as it was not soft. On occasion she did buy me black hosiery and a garter belt. There was a mutual benefit for both of us. When our first child was born the crib was at the foot of the bed in our one bedroom apartment. As our son got older she asked me not to wear any of the negligees too often. It had not been an every day occurrence. She was not adverse to me wearing them.

We ended up moving across country. Our second child was born five years after the first. Our toddler was about three when she yanked a Vanity Fair vivid red bra out of a box in the bottom draw of my armoire. That box was not huge. It held my small collection of slips. She could not understand why a man would want to wear a bra when he "had nothing to pack into it." She got totally turned off by the direction this was going. I did not try to get her to engage in my kindling desires. However, I had expressed too much a wish she would buy me something feminine. I vividly remember going together to our local Mervyn's and buying panties for me. It was torture for her. She was trembling. I decided right then my attempts to get her to accept that part of me was nothing but mental abuse. I did not bring the subject up again. That was in the mid 1980's. She has not said "boo" since then. On occasion she has found an article of clothing I failed to put away; a panty or a bra. All she said on those occasions was she found it and put it on top of the dryer behind closed door. Once she found I had left the browser open to this site. All she said was I should be more careful in case someone visited unexpectedly.

She knows. She accepts the premise that this has nothing to do with her. No inadequacies on her part leading me to indulge in feminine attire. How do I give this a rating? In the beginning the negligee wearing would be classified as a "fetish?" Acceptance, yes. On a scale of 1 to 10..maybe a 8 for what it seemed to be. Now, out of sight, out of mind I would rate it as a zero. I do not experience any of the verbal negativity or outright hostility others on this forum seem to endure. I would love it if I could be dolled up as June Cleaver and make dinner for her and get an approving pat on the butt. However, that is a fantasy that will not occur.

[bridget thronton]

Fairly high - can dress how I want but prefers I do not dress outside the house in our hometown - ok if we are on vacation

[Dawn P]

I told my wife when we started dating it was about a 3 she felt i was disrespecting women. Over time it she became more accepting, she is at a 10 now. We go out as girlfriends when we travel or go out of town to work.

[JocelynJames]

Pretty much full acceptance, not that I push any boundaries. We?re I to dawn a female persona I?m sure she would be out.

[April Rose]

Dawn the respect/stereotype/political aspects come up with us a lot as well. When I first came out to her, before we were married, she was pretty accepting. Over the years it has gone all over the map. I'd rate her acceptance at about a 7 through the last few years. She has a lot of anxiety and control issues. If it was anyone other than her spouse, she'd be fine with it.

Come to think of it, over the years you could say the same about me.

[Jodi Yardley]

Zero...period....would never think of even raising the topic. :sad:

[Angie G]

My wife has a rating of 100%:hugs:
Angie

[Sally Paradise]

My wife is very accepting of my crossdressing. It?s hard to put a percent on because my urges to dress aren?t overly frequent. But, during a normal, pre-COVID week, once or twice a week is great for me and she has no issues and enjoys being part of the process.

[Carole/CCD]

Mine would be a -5

[candykowal]

From past experiences, and from general feedback on the subject, thru our 26 yrs of marriage, I decided to keep Candice from my wife.
But, if you have been married for as long as I have, you know.... she knows a lot about me.
After all, I am retired and working at home as the homemaker, cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry.
Shes sees I collect antique vanity oil lamps, vintage kitchen aprons, and I have Barbies in the basement from the late 60's.
She sees my 40 C cup and large areolas breasts for Pete's sake....and who is "Pete?" Why do we forsake him?
She knows I like to moisturize, wear a coconut beachie perfume, paint my fingernails and keep them long.
She knows I soak in Calgon Lavender bath oil beads, shower with Caress, wear silky and soft fabric clothes, and epulate my arms and legs.
She has told me, some things I do, she doesn't want to know about.
In keeping my Candy profile from her, it allows me freedom to go out in public shopping weekdays while she is at work, meeting friends when she goes out of town some weekend, and be as girly and feminine as possible, without permission.
But I do know I am a husband first and I am fine with that. NEVER do I put my femininity in her face...on purpose.
I lived as a girl during my bachelorette days so today I dress to reminisce about those youthful times, no longer wishing to transition.
So, though she doesn't know everything...I have to say it's a 4 out of 10 as she has bought me gloss clear nail polish and borrowed my polish remover.
She buys me Avon moisture cream and tolerates my excuses to epulate, moisturize, wear soft fabrics and smell pretty.

[missjoann49]

I can honestly say my late wife was very supportive until the day she passed. Before she passed see told me to be happy and follow my dream.
After she passed I started my journey and am very happy with myself

[DianaPrince]

My wife fluctuates between an 8 and a 10.

[NancySue]

I told my wife before we walked the aisle. At that time, probably a 3 to 4. Within the next few years, she gradually rose to a 10. She is now totally supportive and enjoys my enjoyment.

[BLACK STOCKINGS]

11+ she loves me dressed

[chrissy111]

My wife and I have been together since High School, and she has been my biggest supporter. 10+

[BTWimRobin]

Hi Crissy,

The desire to crossdress hit me late in life. While it's always been there, the desire became so strong I needed to do something. I was completely upfront and came out to my wife BEFORE I started dressing. After 20 years of marriage, I didn't want to do anything that would be construed as deception and lies. At the time she seemed accepting and supportive. She just wants me to be happy. I feel in reality she is more tolerant than accepting. My crossdessing is the elephant in the room. We never talk about my dressing. Nor, does she question me about it. She never says anything when my toes are painted or when there are a bunch of panties in the laundry. Although she does remind me when my nails need trimming but never says anything about the clear nail polish I wear. I feel like I walk on eggshells. When she's had enough, she will makes a rude comment or two about what feeling feminine is about .... and sends me running with my tail between my legs. So on a scale of 1 - 10, I would have to rate my wife's acceptance level around a 2.

[prene]

Mine ll all 0's.

No wife but many ex-gfs.

I would love even a 2.

[Aloha Jayne]

I came out to my wife in 2013. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very accepting she was a 1. And it went down from there. :)

[kimdl93]

I warned my GF 7 months before we were engaged. She coped with underdressing for more than a decade, but as circumstances in life afforded me the opportunity to do more, and to discover I really liked it, I eventually overwhelmed her capacity for patience and tolerance.

[FairytaleScorpio]

10/10

I didn't put on that 1st pair of panties until I was in my early 40's. They were hers. I put them on and took a pic. Then I texted it to her.

She went nuts, but in a good way. We were dating at the time and finding our own way in a FLR or WLM. She proposed to me after dating for 2yrs. We pretty much live a fill time gentle FLR now. She leads and I follow. It works great for us.

The dressing started with just panties and thigh highs. That was about 4yrs ago. I've got quite the wardrobe now and feel blessed to have such a supportive wife and the income to buy clothes, makeup and shoes. She does my makeup and styles my wigs on the rare occasion I'll bother to put one on. She shaves my legs for me. I shave hers. It's waaay easier if someone else shaves your legs for you.

I wear panties all the time except travel and doctors visits. I'll wear a dress, silicone inserts, bra and shoes once or twice a week. Usually only in the morning or evening. My wife likes to wake up to the sound of my heels clicking on the hardwood floors, so a lot of mornings I'll just throw on a pair of heels to make coffee and breakfast. Then we need to get on with our day so I toss on some shorts and tennis shoes and go to my office while she works in hers. I can't dress all day because we both have zoom meetings and I can't very well run to the kitchen for a snack while she's on a meeting... nor can I manage a project in a dress and eye shadow while on my own zoom meetings. Also we don't want our neighbors to know, so the blinds must be kept closed anytime I'm dressed. We have a lot of house plants and they need light as well, so it's just not practical to dress daily or all day.

It's just a kink for both of us. We're not too crazy with it. Just for fun mostly. I'm blessed to have such a supportive wife who has no hangups about it.... and actually enjoys it.

The cool part is how relaxed it is. I don't have to worry that she will catch me. So there is no burning need to dress in secret or budget time while she is out of the house. I guess that's probably a big part of why I don't have a huge urge to dress constantly. I don't have to worry about what she will say or that she will disapprove. I ALWAYS get a pat on the butt when cooking.

[Judy-Somthing]

Zero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pumped]

My wife is a 7 or 8, fairly accepting with limits. Most of her limits are mine too, so no big deal

I remember a couple years ago, I was fully dressed from the neck down, fake boobs, bra, panties, and dress. She saw me and about lost it over a cheap pearl necklace I bought. Fake boobs were fine, but no to a necklace. After we talked she had to admit it was funny.

It just goes to show, who knows what their trigger points are.

[Michelle_G]

My wife is probably a 6 or 7 when it comes to my panties, workout leggings/ capris, tank tops, camis, skinny jeans and bearpaw boots as well as for removing all body hair. More like she doesn't care either way. I was going to test the waters for pierced ears until everything shut down.
However, anything like bras, dresses, heels, wigs, makeup, that drops it to 0. No real discussion over it, but I know from comments she has made while seeing cross dressers on tv and in public.

[Taylor Dame]

I wear panties each day, and sleep in women's satin pajamas. My SO has been with me when I purchased dresses and skirts. She knows i dress fully, but doesn't want to ever see me that way. I guess she is around a 2 or 3.

[Tania]

I told my wife early on in our marriage. She asked the usual questions. Started out as a 4-5 for many years. With raising a family and such, that was okay. As time progressed, and the kids left the nest, my level elevated. She was probably 6 or 7 at this point. I could dress whenever, but no makeup or padding in front of her. I respect that, no problem. About 7 or 8 years ago, I went to a dressing service, with her knowledge and blessing. That really took things up a notch, and the results started to ramp up. I purchased clothes whenever I wanted, and she would do so for me as well if I asked her.

About a year ago, I asked what the tolerance level would be to padding and a wig, she did not hesitate to give her approval. Last fall, we took a short trip. She is very considerate, and asks from time to time what me needs are. I finally confessed I had always wanted to get made up, and have nice dinner as girlfriends. She did not hesitate to approve! It was an unforgettable evening that has led to many since. She seems to get pleasure from our girl evenings as well. My avatar is from one of those recent evenings. I finally got the guts to put one up. I would rate her acceptance at 8-9 now.

It has been a long journey to get to this point. They say “go slow”. Well, it has taken 30 plus years to get to this point, and I look forward to the future. She is wonderful to put up with me and my quirks.

[TheHiddenMe]

I'd say about a five. She knows and has known for a long time. My clothes are hanging in our walk in closet. She's bought panties and nightgowns for me as presents. She also knows I go out occasionally but I go out more often than she thinks I do (she has told me "lie to me", so I do).

[LIKETODRESS2]

10 I told her before we even started datting . SHe stalls some of my stuff sometimes and I do the same

[JennasPanties]

That is both soo cute and hot at the same time. Good for you two!

[Bobbi46]

Crissy, I would have posted earlier but my internet was in and out all of yesterday, I was sorry to read what you said, certainly a very big downturn by your wife, I can only hope that in the future this situation can be turned round, it must be very hard for you.

[DTelia]

Told my GF/fianc? before we were married...that was 25 years ago. I wouldn’t put a number on it. It was no big deal to her, but I didn’t dress at the time at all. Just told her about the desire. We didn’t understand it, and with kids didn’t do much about it, and I would never push it until a stressful day 10 years into marriage. I expressed my desire. She jumped in and bought me some things. I would put her support at 100%, but it didn’t do anything for her. But she was happy for me if that makes sense. Since it didn’t thrill her or excite her, I didn’t do much for another 7 years or so. At this time she became a lot more enthused and encouraging...I would even say a 10/11 out of 10, and it was even a rush for her...but honestly I think it’s because she just loved me so much because she figured out that I didn’t want to do anything to hurt her. She appreciated this so much and our mutual respect for each other grew. She already saw the benefits of having a husband that had a bit of style and could help her...who had a bit more sympathy perhaps, patience, and this paid off. Totally a 10. I know how blessed I am. I know many/most don’t have this blessing...but I will also add that I was sooooooo careful, and soooooo slow about the whole thing that she was the one to turn it on. Would that work for everyone...probably not. But it did for me, and I think it’s still the best advice I can give.

I can share on a couple occasions when she was convinced I was setting up a vacation or evening for some girly time, and I made it all about her. I’m done this time and time again. Make your relationship about your spouse w/out expecting something in return and be rewarded....rewarded with more love and respect for her...and from her to you...as well as some other fun :-)

[Connie D50]

Over the 43 years major and I mean major roller coaster. From a high of 10 to a low of negative 5.
Right now it's the worse because it chances on that range on a weekly bases. Not sure if it would have been better never to have felt how good it was when she was at a 10 level. I have to ask if I can dress now. (I hope we see a 44 year)

[Sandi Beech]

My wife would be another zero tolerance spouse; however, over the years of being caught with one thing or another, it seems to have desensitized her slightly. She gets mad but cools off a lot faster than the early years when for example the first time she caught me with pantyhose on. She definitely does not want to see it, talk about it, or know anything about it. It is just taboo to her. I just have to accept that which is why I have to dress in secrecy or not at all.

Sandi

[Aka_Donna]

Most of you talk about a static thing. I find it varies according to her stress levels. Higher stress is lower numbers. So week/month will range from 2 to 7.

[Crissy 107]

Sir Donna, I do think at least for myself the acceptance level of my wife does fluctuate but unfortunately stays down near the low end. Recently we were at Ulta Beauty together and I told her I was looking for a summer nail polish and she was nice enough to pick one out with me. That certainly bumps her number up but later I asked if she would like me to get her an appointment for a pedicure at my salon she just said no, very curtly. I asked if she was going to get some color on her toes this summer and another no, not right now.
One thing for sure, change does happen but unfortunately does not move or stay in the right direction very long.

[Jenn A116]

My wife is probably a 7 on that scale. We met and married later in life (late 40's for me) and I told her about Jenn while we were dating and several months before I proposed. We both went into the marriage with eyes open and willing to accept the other, warts and all. We've now been married for over 20 years and its wonderful. I'm now retired and we've moved to FL for our golden years.

As far as my dressing goes, she is willing to help pick out stuff to buy and we sometimes share tops/leggings. But its clear that she still would prefer not to see me dressed. We are normally very touchy/feely, always giving each other a hug/squeeze/kiss. When I'm dressed though, all that stops. I always give her a heads up before getting dressed, and usually stay that way throughout the day. But those occasions are perhaps twice a month. During those days we mostly carry on normally with the exception of the physical closeness. She offers suggestions as to what clothes go with what and probably wishes I was a bit more conservative in my clothing choices. Nonetheless, I've got a closet (and several draws) full of girlly things with her full knowledge.

[Kay J]

Been married for 48 years i told her about 6years ago. She was very shock when i told her she didn't know what to say. She then ask me why did i have to tell her that i said would you rather walk in on me some day she said good point.She said she dose not to see me or tell her any thing. I said ok but i dress using everything but makeup. Well she now lets me wear panties full time but nothing skimpy. I also can wear legging and girls jeans and shorts. I can dress with her knowing it but don't want to see it she will text me about a half hour before she come home. Can dress before she gets up also. So i would say about a #4 for me!

[kimdl93]

After reading all these responses, I?m beginning to feel that being divorced is probably for the best in my case. I do not live full time as a woman, but I would term myself as non-binary and prefer presenting as female privately and publicly. My ex tried to accept this but could not, and I tried to reject this part of myself, in hopes of reconciliation. That didn?t happen and today, at this late stage in life, I don?t think I would be willing to allow another person place limits on my choice of when and how I present myself. By the same token, I would not seek to force another person to accept my choices.

I know many women who are supportive of me as transgender, but in all but a couple of cases, these are friends, not intimately involved.

[GretchenM]

Hi Crissy,

Back in 2012 when I came out she had no idea what to think. But it got better and maybe achieved a 2 or 3 with a command to not let her see me. Now, I really don't know because we have only seen each other a few times in the last 2 1/2 years. She lives in Albuquerque where she cares for our oldest daughter who is severely disabled in terms of personality disorders. (Strangely, her younger sister is a therapist. But they never communicate.) I live in Denver. So, I am pretty free to do as I please within limits and I stay in those limits which means not going out to places where I might see people she knows or, rather, they might see me. If is really pretty screwed up as relationships like this often are. She is a very traditional person in many ways, especially with regard to gender variance. I am as open as can be and almost completely non-traditional. I avoid the gender binary like the plague because it is the cause of so much gender discrimination in this world. Women are every bit equal to men. So we chug on. 51st anniversary back in March. Thing is, I still love her very much in spite of her different and rather rigid traditional standards. Where will it lead? Unpredictable. One day at a time. Live your life, but honor the promises.

[audreyinalbany]

Depends what you mean by "acceptance"...My wife has known for years about my crossdressing but she doesn't want to participate or see me or interact with me dressed. That having been said, she acknowledges that it's a 'thing' for me and understands that it is a part of my personality and knows that I'm going to dress sometimes when she's not around. She has no desire for us to be 'girlfriends', but She doesn't get all upset about my dressing,she jokes about it occasionally and doesn't particularly want her/our friends to know about it. So is that "acceptance"?

[Teri Ray]

Interesting thread this one. I would only guess my wife's level of acceptance. I believe that she would prefer that I did not have this desire. That being said my wife has been wonderful in doing her best to understand and be supportive. I believe that my finally being open and honest with my desire, which for many years I was not, helped her become more supportive. Looking back on my progression of hiding, sneaking and believing she was un aware to getting caught and living for several years with DADT to finally having the "big talk"; I now understand how difficult is was for my wife to be supportive of something she really had no information to be supportive of. Today we have open honest discussions over my dressing. We shop together, do each others nails and share fashion sense (not that we agree on fashion all the time). I find that we now deal with my desire much better and I understand and meet the boundaries we have agreed to. My wife really is wonderful and to finally guess her level of acceptance I would say 8. Final answer. Thanks for listening.

[Crissy 107]

audreyinalbany, You definitely have some degree of acceptance, not the best but not the worst either.
Thanks everyone for all the responses so far

[SaraLin]

I've been thinking on this, and here's what I've come up with...

If:
0 is "I HATE the very idea, and there is no way I'm going to put up with it"
5 is "I really don't give a fig what you wear - or don't"
10 is " "I LOVE IT!!! lets get you dressed up right now!"

I guess I'd have to say my SO is about a 3-4: "I wish you didn't have this, but I can be OK within specific limits. And sometimes, I can even sorta forget what you are wearing."

[Leonora]

Somewhere in the middle I guess, but I don't do very much. I'm happy with my level on the feminine side.

[Helen Waite]

So mine was initially near a 6-7, dropped to below zero, and now perhaps 3-4. Quite a rollercoaster.

[Kelli_cd]

Mine is between 0 and 1.

[EmilySmith]

My SO started out as a 4 when I first came out to her, but has slowly diminished to about a 2. Still together though :battingeyelashes:

[Bea_]

I think that if I dressed 'as a woman' my wife would be a 0 but since I'm totally a 'man-in-a-dress' she is probably a 7.5.

[Joanne Curl]

I’d say my wife on a scale of 1 to 10 is about 1.5. Which is better than I First came out to here. She was at least a negative -11

[Andie]

Probably about 5 or 6. I know from past comments and conversations she does not like what I’m doing (mostly MIAD)but she certainly does tolerate it. Although sometimes when I’m headed out the door I get quite the evil eye from her.

[Tina Davis]

Zero, and it's unlikely to change. :sad:

[Julia B]

Full and encouraging acceptance. She is awesome!!!!!

[Lacy99]

at first it was about a 2 and over time it has gone as high as maybe a 6 or 7 but right now i would say about a 3.5

[lucy_miller]

To dressing it?s probably only 2, to sleeping in silk nightgown 6-7. She is happy with the being able to express a need for soft ?girly? items but not being a girl.

[Gillian Gigs]

To answer the question of my wife's acceptance level, I start by using part of a Churchill quote, "women are a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma".

From my day of coming out, things have progressed for the most part in my favour. I would say that anything that would fit into the category of under dressing has been in the 9 or 10 range, with one exception. My wife has always had difficulty with me wearing a bra. This has fluctuated between a 4 and an 8 several times over the years. So I will say that this is one of the tolerate items that I have to be careful about. She doesn't even like to see bra straps under my shirts. When it comes to skirts and hosiery she has only ever commented nicely about how nice my legs look. I never go out in a skirt, but hosiery is almost an always in the winter, but who sees what's under my jeans and shirt! Bedroom and sleep apparel has always been my free choice, so that is a big 10+ rating.

I have just come to accept that there are some things that she can stumble over, so I don't push my luck.

[Bobbysue]

21 years ago at Woodstock 99 told my then girl friend l like to wear panties. Laying in a tent she took hers off and said hear put these on. Got married in August 99

[Kandi Robbins]

I had to first come out to myself, having done that in late 2014. After about 4 months building the courage, I told my wife. She has been a steadfast 10 and remains there. I put my own rules in places so as to never take that acceptance for granted and abuse the gift she has given me. I stick to those rules every day. I know I am in the minority on this one. We all have gifts and this just happens to me mine.

[Cheryllynn]

Probably a 5 or 6 here. She knows I dress, doesn't have an issue with it. I don't do it in front of her. She does buy me nail polish, and has given me some hand-me-down items she didn't want anymore. Knows not to throw out/donate any of her clothes before I have a chance to pick through them. :D

[Ericka_d]

She accepted both sides. She dosn't care one bit. The only rule is she gets a man once and a while.

[mbmeen12]

What is the acceptance level of your wife or SO? On a scale of 1-10?

Its a 10 and everything I wear to my persona...

[Bobbi46]

Definately a 10 for me, my girlfriend (now) did not know I dressed originally but when she found out all was well and has remained so ever since

[Paulie Birmingham]

I don't go as far as most people here. But fir what I do, and depending on what activity it is, she ranges from 6/7 to 8/9/10. If I ever decided to try make up, that would probably be lower. But you never know.

[Sylvia Coco]

5-6 but I didn't show her my femmine side yet. We have just a short view of my clothing.

[sarah_hillcrest]

Somewhere between 4-6. There's parts that don't bother her at all, and other parts that drive her nuts. She doesn't seem to bothered by my interest in fashion/makeup and sometimes enjoys having someone to talk to about it. She likes the idea of costumes and dressing up so that's good. She doesn't like the implication that I would prefer to be a woman, which is something I don't really push. She really doesn't like the fear of being "found out" and considered an accomplice.

[Jemima Stephens]

Mine is a 0-2, she is deeply troubled by it and struggles with the subterfuge of it over the years, she feels it is a real breach of trust. However she told me that i didn't need to throw everything away and accepts that I have to work through the feelings so i understand them.

Basically the situation is very confused, so I have only dressed once since she confronted me about it in March amd not sure what the future holds

[Carroll]

First it was a 5, then to a 3, then up to a 7, now its a 10+ to the point encouraging me to shop with her dressed.

[Jessicajane]

Gosh this is sooo difficult to call....my wife hates the fact I want to be a woman but we have worked out a 50 / 50 split of time and when I present outwardly as female she just gets on with it...she does get me female thing occasionally but clearly would prefer not too...but the truth is we have a great relationship if I stick to my 50%
So I guess a 5-6 maybe even a 6.5..lol

[Petra_Briar]

Mine went from a very uneasy 7'ish to a 0 and now is a solid 8. It has been a journey, and I will not be with my wife as a women but that is okay. She gets that I am happy in our marriage, find her very attractive but I am a crossdresser and very much enjoy my feminine side. My wife has made it clear she does not find me sexually attractive in women's lingerie, but also understands why I enjoy those clothes. The things I have learned since coming out to my wife 20+ years ago is everyone's journey is different and if you want to stay married there are boundaries that are created jointly that need to be respected. The major thing that has changed in my relationship is my wife began to understand me more and I began to understand her more...and it is working, for now and who knows what tomorrow will bring but I will worry about it when it comes

[Cacique82]

My wife has been fully accepting so far so 9-10. I think she?d question wigs/makeup but I?ve already told her I?ve never had an interest in going that direction. When I told her ?this(CDing) is something I have to do? and ?it feels right? she became very supportive.

[Meghan4now]

I find it very interesting that many have stated that they started at a mid level, then regressed to a lower level, and then possibly progressed to a higher level later.

I think what is happening there is that the SO may not be too sure at onset, so provides a limited tacit approval. "Well it's just an exploration, it doesn't mean much, and will soon be gone"

After seeing it NOT disappear, but rather build, they react with a counter view. "Oh no, that is not an acceptable manly expression. That is not what I want"

Eventually, for some, it then turns to a realization that this is not an aggression toward them, and maybe it's not that bad, and that they still love this person.

I would say that is my situation. Maybe a 2 to start, up to a three, back down to a 1 or less, back up to 3 and now at a 4. While I dream of a 10, I don't know if I'll get past 4. I'm hoping that I can get to a solid 7 one day.

She did buy me earrings for Valentine's day, but they are definitely not overly feminine style. Well maybe the pearl studs are a little girly ;)

[sometimes_miss]

Happy for those of you who are still together. Me? Ex tried to understand, but turned mean when she decided that I was never 'the man she wanted'. Was then a clear zero, turning into a -10, even blackmailed me over it to take all our assets in the divorce; that was 22 years ago. Since then, all women I've dated, have been a zero. Current GF was over for movie night, she's a Patrick Swayze fan, so we watched Road house. I suggested Wong Fu next, and she said, 'You mean that one where he's a fag?'. Dead stop. Tried to explain about 'them', and she's having none of it. So looks like this has no long term possibilities, either.
Still in the closet, now, and I don't see this changing any time soon.
I know the odds are bleak, but I'm going to keep trying. Really no other option.

[Pumped]

What I get a kick out of is the acceptance comes or goes selectably.

I told this story before, but I was sitting with my wife, fully dressed, dress, heels, stockings and garter belt, bra, overly large 40H boobs and all, and she noticed I was wearing a cheap pearl necklace and went ballistic! I remember grabbing my boobs and saying to her, "I am wearing these, and a $3 necklace sets you off?" She calmed down, and realized how silly it sounded, and had the "talk" again.

[Cheryl T]

I am blessed that my wife is a 9-1/2.
I say that because her only "restriction" is No hormones and No implants.
I can live with that so I am free to be me whenever I desire, which is much of the time, and wear what I prefer.

Of course it wasn't always that way. When she first discovered my secret she was a 1, willing to talk and listen, but not very open to the idea of her husband wishing to dress and present as a woman. Over time and many tears and talks she became a 3 and open to the idea of attending a support group. The people there helped her understand and now we are at 9-1/2.

I feel so very lucky.

[Katherine L.]

I would say my wife is about a 6 or 7, accepting and supportive to a large degree, but not really encouraging.

[DianaW]

It's hard to judge. My wife has made it clear she wishes I didn't have this need and she would be over the moon if it just suddenly went away. But she understands I have this need. I'm allowed to be dressed around her. But things like wigs and makeup are solidly off the table. For now, anyway. I would have to put her at an acceptance of 6-7.

[BrendaPDX]

My wife and I are at the DADT stage but, I would but it at 2.

[SassyRoberta]

Told my GF in January. She is doing well, I?d say a 7. Just got totally dressed for first time with a transformation package. She has seen the pictures. She thinks I picked a look that was too old, so if she is willing to give feedback that?s s good indicator of the future I think.

[praderas]

I am at an early stage, since I have only worn lingerie with her. But I feel very happy because that is the level were we both feel confortable. I feel the urge of dressing but I am not into make up and wigs.

[SassyRoberta]

Perhaps someone should take the time to develop a descriptive list for the 1-10. Perhaps it already exist somewhere on here. I?m so new to being out to my GF that I don?t think I have the expertise needed. It might be a good thing for the girls who are new to sharing with their SO. If for instance they were at stage three they could look at the stage four description as a goal or at least guidance, and so on and so fourth

[Crissy 107]

Roberta, Pretty simple, 10 would be your wife or SO is over the top with acceptance and encourages you to cross dress.
A 5 would be a middle of the road attitude, no encouragement but is ok with things, maybe you can go out dressed or maybe not according to her mood.
Now when we get down to the 1-2 area the wife or SO barely tolerates you with this cross dressing thing and you are on thin ice most of the time.
We have had some members with a 0 or even a minus #, you can use your imagination for those.
When you get to 10 posts and things open up for you on the forum feel free to pm me and I will try and explain more.

[Pumped]

My wife and I have started shopping together, for shoes and dresses. We did buy some high heels for both of us a few weeks ago, but no dresses, but we have looked while shopping. She told me she enjoys having a shopping buddy!

[Suranne]

I would say on your scale of 1 to 10, she would score 50+ as she could not be more supportive. We've been together for well over 30 years and I told her way back then. Yes, I know how lucky I am.

[Karine]

I would say 10. Actually, she's sometimes the one telling me not making a big deal about my crossdressing.
I told my SO 1,5 years ago. The first time, I dress in front of her (makeup, wig, dress, jewelry, everything), it was a little bit weird, we were both a little bit uncomfortable.
But I think seeing the whole process, reassure her as she saw all the work and the creativity involved.

Now, she's fully comfortable. When I shopping online I ask for her advice on the future look I won't to try.
She gives me advice on makeup. I have full access to her closets and she has to mine.
Now, when I have some items she likes, I just give them to her since I only use them a few times a month. The other day, she was dressing with some new clothes she bought and I said to her "I have exactly the right bracelet matching the color of your top". I went to my closet and gave it to her. Now, this bracelet is in her closet and she regularly wears it ;).
In fact, we're now both very happy when one borrows the other's items since it means that we like our respective styles.

I think seeing that crossdressing is not my priority and do not jeopardize anything reassure her too. It's just something I do when I have some time to allow to myself when everything have been taking care of.

[Victoria1]

On a scale of 0-10 I would put my wife at about a 5. We have a mostly DADT relationship. She knows that I have a drawer full of lingerie so she doesn't ever open my dresser drawers. She sees my panties and nighties on the laundry basket in our closet but I wash them myself. I try to stay under the radar as much as I can but if she happens to see some of my clothes its not a big deal either. My crossdressing is pretty much limited to underdressing. She knows that. We see the occasional crossdresser out in public and comment on it but she knows that I am not interested in going to that extreme. Lately I have been pushing the limits on sleeping in my nighties. At the age of 67 I've kind of decided if not now, then when. So far she hasn't really said anything. She doesn't see me wearing them. I don't really want her to. Truth is, I look ridiculous and I would rather not be seen. I just enjoy sleeping in them, with matching panties of course. Its a delicate balance but we seem to manage it.

[Bruce64]

I wear my garter and Brassieres with breast forms in Bed with my Wife, so I think she is way beyond accepting me and lately she is watching Drag shows, so far so good, I sometimes wear my Brassiere and Breastformstore out shopping with her. Wisconsin Girl is just awesome. My roots are Indian from Guyana.

[Paulie Birmingham]

Truth is, I look ridiculous and I would rather not be seen..

I think the same thing about me In lingerie. I look better as a man than in lingerie. Oh well. I still like wearing lingerie and can understand why it doesn't do anything for my wife. I still get camis panties pantyhose and fishnets and thigh highs in bed and look sexy in those. Lol

[Katie Lynn cd]

I would say a 3 or a 4. She wouldn’t prefer it was not there...but understands that I need this and it is a part of who I am. I have had her buy makeup for me on a couple of occasions. I can tell that it annoys her, so I haven’t asked in awhile. A couple of years ago she helped me do some shopping when we were traveling. For me it was heaven. She helped pick out a top with a new bra and several pairs of panties. We actually went to two different stores at her suggestion. That at least gives me hope that it could happen again.

[AmberLeigh]

Probably an 8-9. Her biggest hang up is the money on spend on it.

[Natalie5004]

UggH. My wife has wash my panties and put them in my draw. What level is that? We have a DSDS relationship.

Therefore maybe a 2?....

[Nastasha]

On a scale of 1 to 10? 100 I told her about my dressing while we were dating and she had no problem with it - questions, but no problems. She is very supportive and encourages me to be me - always has.

[Lacey New]

If negative numbers were part of a survey, that's where my wife would be. She thinks the whole idea is creepy. And I'm very much in the closet.

[JennyMay]

My wife is really accepting. I feel really blessed. I wouldn?t put it on a scale because it?s not like that. There are no restrictions but there might be things we?d need to talk about. She trusts me, I trust her.

[rian]

in telling my wife we started with 3 and after years came to 7out of ten

[rian]

The rate of may wife acceptance vary from 5-6scale ,, and this is due to her not willing to see me dressing infront of her ,,,but support me as a cross dresser ..

[Dannigirl]

Lucky ducky here. Full on acceptance, no issues at all. It is me that has the issue still of dressing in front of her, still feel uneasy, but it is coming along.

[Just Dana]

I'm also extremely lucky. My wife is very accepting and supportive. Her only real worry when I came out to her was whether I wanted to transition. I didn't, so that was that. She does wonder why I enjoy wearing clothing that she usually removes as soon as she can!

I'm really sorry to see how many of you don't have supporting SOs. I hope for the best for all of you!

Dana

[Natasha.k]

My girlfriend says she doesn't have a problem with Natasha. But when she needs male me. I cannot be Natasha. I go out with her often. Coffee shops, shopping, etc. Her and Natasha are BFF. Just yesterday we went shopping. Bought dresses, shoes and makeup. Had some lunch. It was a great day. Natasha had a wonderful day

[Alice_2014_B]

My wife knows and supports me, mainly for YouTube and doing stand-up comedy.
She is not a fan of seeing me dolled up in person.
I showed her pictures of my Velma cosplay this morning and she likes my look for it.

We've been out in public together a few nights, but she really didn't have a huge blast.
Now when I dress up for Rocky Horror Show is totally fine; heck, even random patrons have wanted pictures taken with me as if I'm in the actual show (love it).

We go to makeup stores together and look for stuff for each other.

Neither of us are into crossdressing "in bed".
Except for high heels, that's as far as either of us care to go.

For me I feel she is a 10 on your acceptance scale there since I am perfectly content.

:)

[BeckyPickleschlitz]

My GF is an 8.25. She says she doesn't care if I CD but I tend to only dress up on Saturday nights when we are hanging out watching movies, so it's not a constant thing. She is about 1/2 size bigger than me and she believes why bother having separate wardrobes or wigs (she is an avid wig wearer due to health issues). So I suppose, in her own way, she is actually supportive.

But I know in my heart that she would have preferred I'd never gone down this road in the first place.