de stress

[Christina89]

Do you ladies ever use crossdressing as a way to de stress? For a while i have been stressed due to work and with Covid going on my stress is a lot worse. When i start to dress i feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. and i was wondering if you all feel the same sometimes.

[Rachelakld]

Often, it's a way to escape all the stuff going on in my manly life

[Helen_Highwater]

Christina,

I think many here find the same. It's that moment when you hear, "And breath". You've moved to the real you. Your chance to escape and just feel good about yourself.

[susanmichelle]

Absolutely

[Kay J]

That is a big yes from me also!!

[BTWimRobin]

I find it's a great stress relief.

[Jodi Yardley]

YES! the most relaxing feelings and times I have.

[GretchenM]

Certainly. It is a great tool to de-stress and this effect is well documented in the scientific literature. It is viewed as either an escape from the bald reality of life during stressful times, but it is also, and more significantly, viewed as a connection with a different part of your identity than you usually utilize in such abundance. As others have said, it is part of connecting with the most significant part of your identity and leaving behind the piecemeal use of identity characteristics that is the norm during stressful times. In other words, your brain is using so much of itself at those times that conflicts between brain functions are weak or gone. In my view, if it works to help you get some relief from stress then, by all means, use it for that purpose because stress is damaging or even deadly. But keep in mind that it may be connecting with a deeper and more complete part of your sense of self, your identity, or who you are in a more complete picture of yourself. Either way, you win.

[Sylvia Coco]

For me crossdressing is often a streight way to the other world - when I'm in my femmine look I don't think about my male life, about my worries and duties.

[Michaela Jane]

It's a yes here too. It always amazes me that the "hug" that a bra gives me is so calming.

[April Rose]

Oh, Yes. My wife has had a terrible year, health wise, above and beyond the Covid. I have been in the principle care giver role. On some days when If I haven't been able to dress due to appointments or other issues she will say to me "go put on a skirt" because she knows it will mitigate my stress.

[NancySue]

Do I need to breath? Ahhhh...yes. Maybe the world would be better off if....? I de-stress daily. It?s part of my existence...and I love it.

[Star01]

I can't add to the conversation about dressing destressing in a pandemic but I can vouch for DADT and a pandemic creating stress. Rumor has it that my wife is going to spend a couple days and nights at the lake home this week. You can place your here on what I will be doing to relieve my stress while she's gone.

I'm probably one of the biggest chickens on this forum when it comes to shopping but I wouldn't be surprised if I did some of that as well.

[Teresa]

Christina,
I read GretchenM's reply with interest , I agree there is the element of reducing stress but I wonder what happens in the brain to induce that . It's not just the matter of slipping on the clothes etc. it's what affect it has in the brain .

Some wives /partners might be more scathing by accusing us of escapism , of shunning responsibilities , even running away and hiding in our wigs , makeup and clothes .

Most of us were born with this trait and many realise very early on it's a powerful force which needs to be dealt with , if we don't deal with it it can lead to very destructive stress in some people eventually , I know I've been there and had the therapy for it .

I found the comfortable balance in my life so for me now reverting back to male mode is the stressful part .

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe?

I tend to be easily distracted, absentminded, and even scatterbrained.:brolleyes:

But, when I begin dressing? All other random thots seem to vanish!:battingeyelashes:

[Gillian Gigs]

People need distractions to take them away from the things that weight them down. Some drink, some do drugs, and then some of us step into an alternate world in which we crossdress. I know someone who is a part of a local theatre group. They love to have the opportunity to be someone else and play a role that they wouldn't normally get to play, or portray in this life. This kind of sounds like some CD'ers on this site.

[Stephanie Michelle]

Since working from Home since early March I dress every day. Make up 1-2 times a week. It definitely is a lowers stress. I now have a new norm of belong dressed not sure what will happen in September if we go back to office?

[EmilySmith]

Dressing is so relaxing, just love it!

[Maria 60]

Definitely. Every Friday I would go for a drive before the covid, it was something to look forward to almost like a distraction of my male life. When I do get overly stressed my wife would suggest a fem drive. So yes I believe it is a good distraction and stress release.

[Ericka_d]

As I moved from a cd to a trans woman. The things that I took for granted as a cd, for stress relief. has morphed in to Daily, weekly, and monthly things now. My biggest way to de stress. Is to get waxed. Its two hours of just talking to the waxing lady, and removing gross hair. Which having the hairs causes me to stress out.

[MiniRock]

I don't find it particularly relaxing; it's a lot of work to get ready. For me, it's the excitement and the sexual buzz.

[Cheryllynn]

Certainly is a stress relief for me...I have a somewhat stressful occupation and CDing helps me get away from all that, and maybe be someone else for a short time.

[Rachel05]

A resounding yes from me on that one, works every time for me, I don't only dress when I am stressed but if I am stressed then I dress and it all just flutters away

[MarinaTwelve200]

One of my primary reasons for dressing---I become someone else---"NOT ME" and am free from any cares worries or concerns of my male self----because I am no longer ME or a MALE (Maleness alone has its own stress aspects) Dressing is "a vacation away from myself". And it feels good to be "Pretty" too.

[alwayshave]

Christina, Yes I do. I start to de-stress as soon as start applying my makeup, which is what I do first. I may get a little stressed again when I first walk out the door, but it quickly fades.

[Kelli_cd]

I can't imagine not underdressing. I think I'm more calm and relaxed. If only I could fully dress!

[GretchenM]

Teresa, the exact process of how this destressing process works is still a bit of a mystery. And obviously very complex. In the parts of the brain that produce emotion, mainly the amygdala, stress may be seen as a threat and therefore a stress response is provided to prepare the body and the brain for defensive action. That increases certain hormones produced in the brain that increase the fight or flight response system and those hormones get much of the brain really excited and very active.

But there is a counter process that is able to tune down all of that if, through more rational processes in the pre-frontal cortex, it is determined all the excitement is unwaranted. It can then cause the release of endorphins and other chemicals like serotonin that can counteract all the chaos the amygdala and other places are causing. But that response is evidence based and tied into our conscious perceptions which includes your sense of self and the clues to your identity that are received through the senses.

In one way of looking at it, distracting the brain with something that is pleasant can cause a release of endorphins that flood the brain and calm things down, at least for awhile. Thus showing a different view of yourself, in combination with a mountain of coping and adaptive neural networks established to provide you with a sense of gender identification and sensations can distract the brain from trying to figure out all the stressors and make sense of it all. The endorphin release provides a calming effect similar to the effect of something like Valium but instead of a drug it is a natural response of the brain to "tranquilize" things a bit so the brain can get a break before going back to work figuring things out with a more stable process. Well, that is one way to look at it. But the kinds of reactions we have are similar to listening to calming music, reading poetry, eating an ice cream cone or anything that can divert the brain's attention to something simpler and more pleasant than the chaos that is producing so much stress. The brain can handle a huge number of calculations in finding solutions to problems, but everybody has their own limit (your "breaking point") where continuing to work on the problem becomes a bit dangerous. So, we all develop adaptive behaviors that can reduce the stress and those more or less automatically kick in and produce a break in the problem solving process to a more pleasant functioning that push the problems into the "reserve bank" to be dealt with after the brain takes a refreshing bath in a flood of feel good chemicals.

[Jemima Stephens]

Yes! I have an imense feeling of calm and peace when I am dressed, as I step away from my day to day stresses.

I have struggled during Covid with little opportunity plus the promise to my Wife not to (which i broke once but owned up)

the work stress has been peaking lately along with some home stress and I almost reached breaking point on Sunday, I so wish I could escape to Jemima at the moment!

[Cacique82]

Slipping into a nightgown absolutely relaxes me. A very good de-stresser.

[Genifer Teal]

It's very distressing ( voice to text error but it's funny so I left it- meant to say not very destressing) when I'm trying to finish my makeup and get out the door on time and something goes wrong. LOL had another one of those situations last night but in the end I made it out the door and had a great time.

[Teri Ray]

I do not believe in the term "stress" for things that occur to us in our daily lives. There are feelings like "concern" "fretting" "being anxious" "worried". When I get a chance to dress I feel happy and relaxed. Those other feelings tend to not be involved. Although I have been "concerned" or "worried" from time to time about being caught. But now since my wife and I openly discuss my dressing desires those feelings no longer occur.

I believe the term "stress" is for those people who have occupations where they put their life at risk in situations where they have little to no real control of the events and situations they become involved in. Cops, firefighters, trauma responders, soldiers, and the like. I bet if they were also crossdressers they would likely find crossdressing is relaxing. This is just my opinion for the term "stress". I know everyone may not agree with my sentiments for "stress" but it has helped me keep life's events in proper perspective.

Maybe if I were living through an earthquake, my home was on fire in the middle of the night, or I was caught in a tornado, flood, or hurricane I might become stressed, now that I think about it. But if that were the case the last thing I would be thinking of would be dressing.

[Cheryl T]

I have to admit that it is for me as well.
I find the only stress is deciding what to wear and I can handle that. Everything else seems insignificant.

[Michelle123]

Oh, there is nothing better to de stress than dressing. When I get into my panties, corselette, nylon stockings, full slip, and pumps, I feel so content and happy. I am retired now, and I can dress freely at home whenever I want (which is almost all the time). Very little stress in my life now, But I still feel much better when dressed

[Meg West]

Crossdressing saved my sanity, such as it is, my business and most importantly my marriage.

[MaryAnn1963]

I have no idea why, but the process of doing my makeup, nails & wig then slipping on my nylons, panties, bra and a beautiful dress makes all my worries just wash away. It is the best way to de-stress I have ever known.

[Rayleen]

AS most of you, crossdressing at home is the best destresser. Bra, breast forms, panties, top and skirt .

[NancySue]

We all read about the stress problems caused from being isolated. While it?s not fun, dressing keeps my stress level to a minimum. I dress daily. My daily routine is automatic and seems so natural...slip on my panties, bra, forms, shorts, or a skort, a top, wash face, apply moisturizer and some makeup, maybe necklace, earrings, comb hair, a flit of perfume, then breakfast. When things change, sadly, I?ll have to make some adjustments, but I?ll cross that bridge later.

[FairyCrossdresser]

I?m kind of at the opposite end of this insofar as it is not so much that dressing is a de-stresser, though it undoubtedly is, but the act in itself of trying to ignore what can be quite an insatiable urge to stress can itself be stressful and it?s only by giving myself permission to ?Heather up? that I can bring myself down to earth again.

[MichaelM]

Absolutely and Covid lockdown (and people being in the house more) is giving less opportunities to de-stress at a time in my life where I need it even more. For another post but everything in my life at the moment seems to be taking a turn for the worse.

I've had counselling and worked through that I need to CD and feel compelled to do so when stressed. It's a form of control when my life seems unmanageable.

Unfortunately whilst I've come out to my wife about my CDing, I am extremely limited as to what she will reluctantly allow me to do. Every time I do anything I feel guilty.

[susan54]

In lockdown, I am dressed almost full time and even in normal circumstances I spend all my sleeping hours in a nightdress and most of may waking hours in a dress with everything else apart from wig and make up. So I do not have the deprivations stress that many of you do. In addition I have music and the outdoors to keep me calm in a job that is quite pressured. It is not stressful because I have it under control, but my unlimited dressing contributes a lot to my relatively stressless life. The main stress I have with lockdown is seeing less of my friends though I have a trip all day dressed with a GG friend next week and I am looking forward to it not so much because it is a day in public in a dress (this time with wig and make up) as an opportunity to spend quality time with a quality friend. For those who cannot dress much and are stressed I suggest a walk on the beach or play a musical instrument. Endorphins are wonderful. No one who can access endorphins needs drugs.

[Suranne]

No, it's not a stress related thing, it's an identity thing.

[Sissy_Michelle]

Christina89,

I agree with you. Most times when I am fully dressed I am more relaxed. Usually I only wear bra, panties, and stockings under my male clothes. However, since the COVIDs I?ve been working from home since March. Kind of a blessing in disguise except when I forget what I?m wearing and wander outside for some fresh air. . .

@?}??
Michelle

[susanmichelle]

Very well put I agree with what you?ve posted and the way you said it. I don?t drink ever and don?t do drugs period except the ones that regulate blood pressure and the like. I guess the only bad habit I have is I cuss on occasion but mostly after talking to a gg friend as she cusses like a sailor and it rubs off on me for awhile after her normal two hour chats we have. Cross dressing allows me to totally unwind and go to a better place in my mind.


People need distractions to take them away from the things that weight them down. Some drink, some do drugs, and then some of us step into an alternate world in which we crossdress. I know someone who is a part of a local theatre group. They love to have the opportunity to be someone else and play a role that they wouldn't normally get to play, or portray in this life. This kind of sounds like some CD'ers on this site.

[jacques]

Hello Christina,
At one time I was being bullied at work - my crossdressing certainly increased then.
stay healthy,
luv J

[Robin777]

I have in the past. Then it turned into just being me.

[Judy-Somthing]

Out of all the things I due, I find it to be the most enjoyable!

[Leslie Langford]

Certainly. It is a great tool to de-stress and this effect is well documented in the scientific literature. It is viewed as either an escape from the bald reality of life during stressful times, but it is also, and more significantly, viewed as a connection with a different part of your identity than you usually utilize in such abundance. As others have said, it is part of connecting with the most significant part of your identity and leaving behind the piecemeal use of identity characteristics that is the norm during stressful times. In other words, your brain is using so much of itself at those times that conflicts between brain functions are weak or gone. In my view, if it works to help you get some relief from stress then, by all means, use it for that purpose because stress is damaging or even deadly. But keep in mind that it may be connecting with a deeper and more complete part of your sense of self, your identity, or who you are in a more complete picture of yourself. Either way, you win.

Despite the many challenges that we often have to deal with as crossdressers...unaccepting wives or SO's, being forced to live in that purgatory known as "DADT", being stigmatized by a society that doesn't "get" us (can you blame them? - often neither do we :sad:), the financial drain to our wallets for having to maintain 2 wardrobes, lives lived in the shadows often accompanied by a good deal of self-loathing, I, too, find it to be a great stress reliever when the chips are down and the "real world" becomes a nasty and hostile place. Yes, it may be a "gift" with some strings attached, but I wouldn't have it any other way, and I am sure that if I were ever offered a pill that promised to "cure" me of my crossdressing desires once and for all, I most likely wouldn't take it.

I've always maintained that as "vices" go, crossdressing is a pretty benign one. Not as hazardous to one's health as smoking, excessive drinking (read: "alcoholism"), or drug abuse are, nor is it fattening. On the contrary, many of us find that it motivates us to keep our weight under control (or even shed some of those excess pounds) so that we can squeeze into that gorgeous dress that we are dying to try on, but is still just a tad too small at the moment :daydreaming: ;). Too bad that many of our wives or SO's cannot be persuaded to see our crossdressing in the same way...:doh:

[franlee]

I do, for any kind of stress. I have learned to use it for therapeutic self-treatment with great success.

[leannejacobs]

I?ve used dressing to de-stress for years, however I?m not stressed these days so haven?t dressed in a while. I so miss it! I think I?m going to dress fully just for the sake of it. My wife could always tell when I?d dressed as she could see that I was more relaxed so it does work.

[Stephanie47]

I have to agree with Gretchen's (#27) analysis. There are many processes to destressing. Cross dressing is one of them. Cross dressing itself can be stressful if one is barred from cross dressing. When I was new to this "stress" game (work and war) it became very stressful to find the time to destress. To me it was akin to a dog chasing its tail. I usually named it on this site; "catching crumbs of time. That usually meant waiting for Sunday morning while my wife took the kids to Sunday school. Then I had maybe two hours to engage in cross dressing. Needless to say my needs were not satisfied. Other thoughts were stress inducing; war related PTSD. I think part of the problem with stress is finding some activity to divert attention from the stress inducing factors. I find it a little unsettling that society views stopping off at a bar after work and having one too many as a more acceptable method to destress than slipping into some fem attire. Even smoking a joint rates higher than wearing a woman's nightgown or snuggling PJ's.

I have been through ten years of counseling learning how to deal with war related stress. It has been helpful with dealing with other situations that arise in life. How do I know? I was not one of those people searching endlessly for stacks and stacks of toilet paper or hand sanitizer.

[Angie G]

I think everyone does sometimes. I've never let much stress me out but when it does dressing helps with the de stressing.:hugs:
Angie

[rian]

yes , crossdressing is to de stress ,,,but the stress comes due to the need to crossdress ,,,so the inner feeling will build up till we crossdress ,,then the pressure will be reduced ...the need to do that is a part of our inner spirit to be a woman ...

[CynthiaD]

Definitely yes.