What would really make you happy?

[Aka_Donna]

I don't recall this topic being discussed and question was asked me and I didn't know how to respond.

Note this is a serious question and not just trival.

Think about answer before replying. Automatic non-thinking response may be to dress more.

But would it really change much?

We have a wide spectrum of dressing styles, from DADT to full time dressing.
So a subquestion: would change in dressing frequency or style have a lasting effect a few years down the road after change, or would it be more of "been there, done that, boring"?

A former member would have responded not happy, but less discordance, so less unhappiness and more wholeness.

Think, ponder, and then post a response.

[Maid_Marion]

The widespread availability of non-gendered bathrooms.

[BTWimRobin]

I generally keep my toes painted. My wife never says a word to me about it ... does she notice? I'm sure she does .... A complement would really make me happy.

[sarah_hillcrest]

Great question, I've thought alot about it. Where does happiness come from? Sometimes I just feel happy for no reason, but I think generally happiness comes from a perceived improvement in one's conditions. Like lottery winners report being very happy for a time then return back to normal once the newness of being wealthy has worn off.

Dressing obviously makes me happy or I wouldn't do it, but when it's over I'm sad in fact I'm sad for quite some time. At first it's far more intense for a short time as I got back to normal, but then it lingers for several days as a combination of not feeling my normal is right, partially because without a beard I'm not normal. Eventually I feel normal again.

So I suppose if I dressed more frequently my normal might begin to shift, if I dressed all the time my normal would eventually become the girl and that hit of pleasure would be gone, of course the urge to dress would go away so perhaps their would be a net gain in my overall happiness.

So you're not asking what would make me happy, but "really happy" which I think might refer to a lasting happiness. I don't really think there is a such a thing, at least not without the help of pharmaceuticals... But lets take a stab at it. In one of the science fiction series I've read, I think it was Ian M Banks, Culture, life expectancy for people is very long and it is possible to switch biological sex at a genetic level easily over the course a few weeks. It becomes commonplace for some people to switch every so often and this is considered a normal and healthy exploration of the human condition. So take away all the sci fi stuff, but wouldn't it be nice if an interest in living as the opposite gender was considered a healthy exploration of the human condition.

[docrobbysherry]

World peace.
Ridding the planet of Covid 19.
The end of hunger and poverty.
Passing with my real face.

Not necessarily in that order!:devil:

[Jean 103]

K but didn't they cancel the rose parade this year?

Happiness comes from with it, as they say. There are triggers that can definitely affect your current mood.

Like pulling up to the laundry mat and the parking spot and machines you like are open.

Washer's are finishing, time for the dryer's.

The clouds are parting, next stop the Beach. Maybe Joann's first.

The day so far priceless.

It's just the little things that make me happy, like freedom

[caryn m]

What would make me really happy? Being truly accepted instead of merely tolerated.

[Gillian Gigs]

That people would get along with each other, stop judging, and just accept one another in spite of race, colour, religion, etc, etc, etc,......

I know that there are many people who wouldn't like, or accept some of my clothing choices. They expect me to conform to their way of thinking, but why?

I want world peace, to rid the planet of Covid 19, end hunger, poverty, and pass with my real face, too. Yet some just aren't happy until I think and act just like them, and unfortunately they are found in every arena of life.

In the mean time I will have to do the best I can, with what is available to me. So I will continue to underdress and wear skirts only at home.

[kimdl93]

If the question is restricted to the realm of gender presentation and/or cross dressing, its easy. I would be happy if I could be exactly who I am, presenting myself as I wish, without concern about how other people might react.

And looking at my response, it seems that Jean is correct. Happiness in those terms is entirely under my control.

[Kandi Robbins]

I am assuming when asking the question, it should be somewhat based in reality.

Frankly, pre-COVID I was pretty happy. Then the pandemic hit and everything I worked hard to create for me as Kandi was wiped out and I expect much will not return. Can we just go back about six months?

[Sometimes Steffi]

Kandi. What;s the big problem? Can't find any batteries for your "Wayback Machine"? I have the same problem.

What would I like. I'd love it if my wife upgraded her CD acceptance from "Tolerates" to "Accepts".

If I were to dream big, I would love, love, love it if my wife upgraded to "Encouraging" or "Participating".

Alas, it's a bridge too far.

[Bobbi46]

Total unequivocal acceptance for all levels of our commpunity, plus a gay pride parade in my local town would be the icing on the cake.

[EmilySmith]

What would make me really happy? Being truly accepted instead of merely tolerated.

I totally agree with your statement sister!

[Sandi Beech]

Hi

Despite the fact that my wife has zero tolerance to my dressing, I actually had it pretty good pre-covid. I feel like Kandi in that I would be happy just to go back 6 months when I was dancing at Piranha in Vegas in my black sequin mini skirt. How much better does it get than that? I feel like I took what I had for granted. Gee it fun back then.

Sandi

[AllieSF]

I really like Jean 103's and Kimdl93's answers. I totally agree that happiness comes from within and is really not dependent on others. You can have all kinds of problems, some very, very serious and still be happy. Yes, we have bad and unhappy moments, but to let those downer moments control our total life is not good. For some it is easier than for others. That is same for being successful at school, at work or in relationships. We can't always have everything that we want or need, but with the right attitude we can, and, more importantly, we do overcome our obstacles and are happy. There are things that we can do to help us be happier, but that core happiness comes from within each of us.

Allie

[Micki_Finn]

Make me really happy? That’s easy. My Drag mother hits it big time and I get to travel with her being her assistant. Would it change much? Yes! It would be a huge lifestyle change. Would it get a little tiresome? Well... yes, to an extent, but sometimes when you reach your goal you’re just happy with it.

[char GG]

Mod response:

Since this is the MtF forum, I believe the OP's happiness question has to do with CDing:

From SirDonna:

We have a wide spectrum of dressing styles, from DADT to full time dressing.
So a subquestion: would change in dressing frequency or style have a lasting effect a few years down the road after change, or would it be more of "been there, done that, boring

[Jenny22]

Having breast growth and a smaller nose.

[Alexis West]

a couple of things added and a couple removed

[amandagurl2014]

What would make me happy? A lovely and attractive women to make me her wife. And to be a twenty something all over again :)

[Crissy 107]

Having breast growth and a smaller nose.

Jenny, You have me smiling with this.

[GaleWarning]

Mod response:

Since this is the MtF forum, I believe the OP's happiness question has to do with CDing:

From SirDonna:

Noted, Char GG.��

Long response ...
If I could wake up every morning and look forward to the day; then go to bed at the end of the day feeling as if I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of the day, then I would be eternally, blissfully happy.

Being able to indulge in a spot of crossdressing for at least some time during my day is, naturally, part of the equation.

It makes me happy!

[Nadine Spirit]

Happiness is being able to be me everyday and not worry anymore about what clothes I chose to put on my body.

I pondered once upon a time if i were ever afforded this opportunity would I tire of it, so far nope, not in the least. I’m never going back.

[Kelly DeWinter]

It would have been nice to have had the level of acceptance 30 years ago as we enjoy now, but that could be said of just about everything these days. Oh and if they would bring back vinyl records.

[Bobbi46]

I am with Nadine on this one, I wake up in the morning and like every other morning the day is mine to do as I please, I dress every day because dressing is now a 24/7 way of life for me. It creates in me great happiness that I can be myself ,dress how I please, but at the same time have this great degree of acceptance within the community that I live in.

[Georgina]

Wearing a dress makes me happy but I would be happier if I could do so without ridicule from anyone.

[Bobbi46]

Georgina, I know dresses are close to ones heart and all of that but here round where I live I see very few women wearing dresses it seems more like tops and skirts, I do think there is a greater choice of styles and colours in tops which is the road I have gone down, and I feel happier in tops and skirts

[alwayshave]

Peace, racial equality and protection of human rights.

[SaraLin]

(sticking to the forum's slant)
I guess I'd have to respond with "a miracle".
I'd say that what would "really make me happy" would be for my wife to change from barely tolerant of my -um- 'ways', into fully accepting and encouraging.

I'm pretty timid and to be able to follow my dreams, I'd need a cheerleader in my corner, saying "you go, girl" and giving me a loving nudge (or even a shove) whenever I get afraid and balk at doing something I really want deep down inside.

It's not going to happen. I know that. But I can dream, can't I?:daydreaming:

[Kelli_cd]

I'd lIke my wife to be accepting of who I am. That sounds bad. It would be nice for her to accept the female part of me.
Having my own clothes would be nice, hanging in my closet and not having to hide.
Changing my body shape from male to female.
Maybe HRT.

[Helen_Highwater]

As someone in the closet to all one thing that would make me happy is to be out to my immediate family. Having the freedom to dress even casually around the house would be a huge lift. So there will be those who will say that it?s within my gift, all I have to do is ?Have the conversation?. The problem sits with not knowing the outcome of that conversation.

My SO could take it in her stride; no biggie and all would be lovely. If however the opposite happens, toys leave pram, then there?s much to lose. That is why many others will tell you they remain closeted.

The thing is, I?m not unhappy with my current situation it?s just not ideal. Yes for me to go around the house in a skirt and femme tee without a care in the world would make me happier but it?s not the be all and end all. I have a good life and I?m grateful for what I have. Perhaps it?s the very act of pursuing that elusive happiness, especially when you?re unsure of what that happiness consists of that makes us discontent.

As has been said, suddenly becoming rich makes for instant but sometimes transient happiness as your new normal loses its initial gloss and you seek a different happy. So perhaps we?re better off seeking that which makes us content.

And the evidence is here in these posts; ?Great news, I?m so happy; my SO is OK with me wearing a dress around the house?. Then some time later; ?If only I could wear my forms and wig around the house?.
So perhaps it?s better to ask what would give you contentment and inner peace?

[Bea_]

I am happy at this point because my wife's acceptance has taken a recent positive step change. What would take that happiness to a whole 'nother level? For her to look at me wearing something that makes me feel sexy and tell me "Damn, you look sexy!".

[Krisi]

What would make me really happy?

My wife would call me by a feminine name when I'm dressed and treat me as a woman.
My wife would cuddle and have sex with me as a woman (not "dressed", but with my wig, boobs and padded panties).
My wife would go out in public with me as sisters or girlfriends.

Just to be clear, she accepts or at least tolerates my dressing, she buys me clothes and she offers me her old clothes so things are not bad at all. I'm just answering the question.

[foxy bartender]

The widespread availability of non-gendered bathrooms.

☝️This!! This would make me endlessly happy! It?s my biggest source of anxiety when I?m out doing anything

[Stephanie47]

Foxy's and Maid Marion's happiness is non-gender bathrooms. In my small city (215,000 =/-) the city council enacted a law that all single person bathroom must be designated as non-gender. Signage must indicate that. So, there are no men's rooms and women's rooms unless there are multiple stalls. Petition your city council if you do not have such laws.

Me? On the issues relating to this specific site, yes, it would be very nice to have an accepting and participating wife, but I am a realist. It ain't going to happen! :(

On the greater issue? I am sick and tired of every day turning on the television and radio am being confronted with the endless news of COVID-19 and the politics surrounding it as well as the politics of pre-COVID. I fear it is only going to get worse as we get into the fall months with adding no new episodes of my favorite television shows. I don't know what normal is anymore.

[MonicaPVD]

What would make me really happy?

My wife would call me by a feminine name when I'm dressed and treat me as a woman.
My wife would cuddle and have sex with me as a woman (not "dressed", but with my wig, boobs and padded panties).
My wife would go out in public with me as sisters or girlfriends.

Just to be clear, she accepts or at least tolerates my dressing, she buys me clothes and she offers me her old clothes so things are not bad at all. I'm just answering the question.

You might want to recalibrate your perception of "really happy" considering your wife's generosity. Plenty of ladies with broken homes and plenty of closet queens on here right now.

[Sometimes Steffi]

(sticking to the forum's slant)
I guess I'd have to respond with "a miracle".
I'd say that what would "really make me happy" would be for my wife to change from barely tolerant of my -um- 'ways', into fully accepting and encouraging.

I'm pretty timid and to be able to follow my dreams, I'd need a cheerleader in my corner, saying "you go, girl" and giving me a loving nudge (or even a shove) whenever I get afraid and balk at doing something I really want deep down inside.

It's not going to happen. I know that. But I can dream, can't I?:daydreaming:

Sara Lin

I'm sorry to say that my magic wand is broken and in the shop for repairs.

So, I can't provide you a miracle.

But, what I can do is say, "You go girl! With your wife's help or without it." You can do anything you want.

I'll also give you a pep talk. I had a very good CD friend who told me that when she was 5, she used to go to bed every night and pray that she woke up as a girl.

When I met her she was married, with two kids and still dressing at 45. A couple years after I met her, she transitioned to full time with the support of her wife and children. So, was it a miracle or were her prayers from 40 years earlier finally answered? I told her that her prayers were finally answered.

[Jean 103]

I did mention the beach. One of my favorite places. This is from that day. Being able to be yourself,,, priceless
314349

[candykowal]

Hmmm? What would make me happy? You eluded a change is needed when you mentioned, "...would it change much?" ...eluding to dressing more.
So I thought first am I unhappy? We all could be happier, I suppose...but there is always a cost involved, whether it hurts someone feelings, or deprives someone of a husband, or money itself as that never grows on trees! :sad:
So that made me think of degrees of happiness... how many more degrees of happiness can I be with the least amount of cost?
Can we go back to our youth and change me not getting my sex change that I was groomed for? Ya, not gonna happen.
Okay, now I am overthinking it! :straightface:
Just the facts Mamm, as Joe Friday would say....
Okay, I was born with a curvie body, much like a womens and as I aged the curves are more pronounced re-defining my gender, more and more.
To be able to dress in clothes that were made to fit my physically body is a noble cause. :battingeyelashes:
Then I am back to the cost factor and for me acceptance from a caring spouse it tough...for them.
OKAY...win the lottery, divorce my wife, drown my sorrows with hired chamber maids who dress me everyday in the look and clothes I desire.
Go out and mingle with accepting friends and lovers 24/7 365!
That could work!!!! :daydreaming:

[Jeanettew]

A full make over by an expert

[Vickie_CDTV]

What would make me happy? Having a wife and a family.

Even if I had to stop dressing to have one.

[Kim Summers]

The world just to accept people for who they are and not judge them. The may find that they are missing out
on a wonderful person. x

[Connie D50]

For my wife to be consistent with her acceptance. One day taking me shopping the next yelling at me for dressing.

[SaraLin]

[QUOTE=Sometimes Steffi;4461180

But, what I can do is say, "You go girl! With your wife's help or without it." You can do anything you want.

I'll also give you a pep talk. I had a very good CD friend who told me that when she was 5, she used to go to bed every night and pray that she woke up as a girl.

[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the pep talk, Steffi. It's nice of you to offer.

But truth be told, I have a pretty good life -outside of my "moderate" dysphoria.
I want more - but I'm too content/afraid/reluctant to push it.

yes, I can do anything I want. At the same time I don't want to hurt the one I love most.


I too went to bed at night praying to wake up as a girl.

I also had a nightly fall-asleep fantasy where my bed turned into a magical elevator that "changed me" as it lowered me to a world where I could be a girl forever.
..First stop. All my boy toys got traded for girl toys.
..Second stop. all my boy clothes got traded for girl's
..Third stop. That "thing" got taken off, my hair grew long, etc. and I became a real girl.
..Last stop. I'd get off the elevator and step through the gates into a new life.

Funny - but I never remembered what was on the other side of the gate. I guess I fell asleep with a smile on my face about then.

[Stephanie Julianna]

Not having to hide behind the male facade that I have been presenting since I was three.

[Bruce64]

I like the idea of dressing up in Lingerie and spending time with an attractive young Lady, not a fantasy, I do it sometimes with my Wife, I would like to expand my horizon a bit more, somethings my Wife not going to do.

[NancySue]

Happy? To be able to go out dressed, be treated nicely and be accepted. My wonderful, supportive wife agrees.

[Asew]

In terms of CDing, to dress as I like all the time and to be with someone who actually thinks it is cute sometimes. But I am still in a good place already so it wouldn't be the biggest boost in happiness compared to no more covid and the kids back in school (instead of my home office too many times during the day).

[Liz Jones]

☝️This!! This would make me endlessly happy! It?s my biggest source of anxiety when I?m out doing anything

Here in the U.K. we have disabled toilets. There are a bit "thin on the ground" but they are locked--you unlock them with a special key (obtained via your Dr) So the toilet is large &unisex.When you go in you lock the door behind you,you then have 20 minutes before the door self unlocks (this is a safety feture in case some one is taken ill ) While i have a key i have never taken 20 minutes........

[Judy-Somthing]

Having a spouse that thought CD-ing was OK!

[Sometimes Steffi]

I also had a nightly fall-asleep fantasy where my bed turned into a magical elevator that "changed me" as it lowered me to a world where I could be a girl forever.
..First stop. All my boy toys got traded for girl toys.
..Second stop. all my boy clothes got traded for girl's
..Third stop. That "thing" got taken off, my hair grew long, etc. and I became a real girl.
..Last stop. I'd get off the elevator and step through the gates into a new life.

Funny - but I never remembered what was on the other side of the gate. I guess I fell asleep with a smile on my face about then.

I had a similar fantasy. I went down an elevator, and got younger and younger until I was a single cell. Then the XY chromosome in that single cell was switched to XX. Then I went back up the elevator and got older and older until I reached ground level. I became the female version of me.

Another one that I liked was that somehow I got locked in a department store and couldn't get out. So, I decided to stay until the next morning and try on whatever clothes struck my fancy.

[Patience]

More internet options for crossdressers to share their interests online. There aren't nearly enough.

[Krisi]

You might want to recalibrate your perception of "really happy" considering your wife's generosity. Plenty of ladies with broken homes and plenty of closet queens on here right now.

No "recalibration" here.
The question was "What would make you really happy?" I answered the question.

I'm sorry you didn't like my answer, but it still stands.