I'm considering starting a Trip Was chapter in Orlando

[Joyce Swindell]

I'm thinking about starting an Orlando chapter of Tri Ess. Any experienced thoughts?
As in the title, I'm considering starting a Tri Ess group in Orlando. I'm not really certain why I feel I need to take on such huge project but it is kinda nagging at my sole a bit. So I'm turning to this large group of my peers looking for some guidance before jumping off the edge.

My wife and I have been talking it over and I've been in contact through e-mail with someone at Tri Ess as well. We've exchanged several emails and I'm almost to the point of "pulling the trigger" but I'm doing a little reassurance research.

Any thoughts anyone?

[Crissy 107]

Joyce, I cannot give you any ideas but wish you all the luck you need. I think it is a wonderful idea and wish they had something like that near me.

[Amy Lynn3]

I'm with Crissy 107. I to wish we had something on the lines of a Tri Ess Chapter in our area. I have often wondered WHY so many chapters closed a few years back. You may want to ask your contact at Tri Ess why so many chapters closed up, before you open and run into the same issue.

Whichever way you pick to go in, I sincerely wish you the best. If you do open have fun with it.

[Phoebe Reece]

Joyce, I am a board member for Sigma Epsilon, the Atlanta chapter of Tri-Ess. I can answer many of your questions about Tri-Ess. I have been a member of Tri-Ess off and on since it came into being in the 1970's. There are a lot of things to consider before you "pull the trigger" on your plan. Contact me privately and I will explain.

[Aunt Kelly]

IMO, Tri-Ess has almost outlived it's usefulness. When it came into being, CDing was still a crime in many places. The organization provided safety and support for it's members and their spouses. I was one of the youngest active members (associate member, now) and I have seen one new member after another attend a meeting or two, and then disappear. My guess is that we don't offer anything they need.

[BTWimRobin]

Hi Joyce,

That sounds so exciting. I wish there was something like that around here. Good luck with your new venture.

[April Rose]

Just don't be surprised if you don't get any members under 50. The younger generations are solving the riddle of gender in their own, very distinct way.

[Joyce Swindell]

Phoebe....
I don't know how to do that through this website...at least on my phone.



Joyce, I am a board member for Sigma Epsilon, the Atlanta chapter of Tri-Ess. I can answer many of your questions about Tri-Ess. I have been a member of Tri-Ess off and on since it came into being in the 1970's. There are a lot of things to consider before you "pull the trigger" on your plan. Contact me privately and I will explain.

[docrobbysherry]

Our local Tri Ess is long gone. When I contacted them 12 years ago they told me NOT to come. That it was only for TS's and their partners. Single CD's were NOT welcome!:thumbsdn:

[Taylor186]

I was member of a social/support group in NE Ohio for a few years starting around 2002. They had just split from Tri-Ess when I joined because they felt because the Tri-Ess charter--heterosexual crossdressers only--was too restrictive. That still is the Tri-Ess charter based on their website. It was a great way for me, a totally closeted dresser, to step out into a slightly "bigger closet" (a safe secure church social room) and meet a few other crossdressers. It didn't take long for me to find out that I had nothing in common with the majority of the attendees, other than crossdressing, so I found more fulfilling CD activities. Our group had a formal meeting structure and dues which didn't sit well with many of the CDs who were just looking for a safe way to get out of the house dressed. As someone above mentioned we had plenty of one-time lookers who never returned. During my time there (ending 2005-2006) we had lost many members who wanted less structure and more fun than our "bigger closet" provided. That organization finally died out a few years ago. Today, 15 years later, it seems there are more "relatively safe" alternatives to get out dressed.

My question for you is what to you hope to get out of starting a social/support group?

[Micki_Finn]

It could be a lot of work for no payoff. Not trying to discourage you, but don’t be disappointed if you don’t get much interest. With modern technology and all the different ways to connect, these kinds of social groups are dying off a bit.

[char GG]

Hi Joyce,

I think it's wonderful that you want to start a group.

Seven years ago, my hubby wanted to start a Tri Ess group because our state only had one, 150 miles away from us. Some cost was also involved with a certain amount of the funds going to the Main Tri Ess organization. I guess (at that time) new Tri Ess groups had a candle lighting ceremony attended by ladies from the main TriEss organization. Trying to start a new Tri Ess group proved to be cumbersome. Things may have changed. It is certainly worth a try.

He found the group structure at that location was restrictive because they never left the building that they met in, although the members treated him wonderful. I went with him because there was a separate room for wives. He didn't care to go back, however, overall all the experience was good. His goal was to find other CDers to go OUT with, not stay in one place.

He ended up starting a CDer social group through the local Pride Center where it could be structured to meet the needs of the members and after the short meetings, they went out together.

Good luck with your endeavor.

[kimdl93]

I was a bit confused because in the list of todays messages, this thread suggested you were interested in starting a Trip Was chapter. Figured you meant Tri Ess.

Seems like a good idea, although my impression Tri Ess to be a bit exclusive...not entirely welcoming of non-heterosexual cross dressers or individuals who are NB or tending towards some degree of transition. That may no longer be the case, but it was when I looked into joining a group.

[Joyce Swindell]

Taylor186;

I've really enjoyed my life as a CD. Most of that enjoyment came from attending some Tri Ess meetings back then. I've met many memorable people in these groups. I'm really not entirely certain why I feel a need or desire to do this other than having, more recently, attended the "all inclusive" group meetings. True that we (CD's) just want to get out and express this part of us and most are ok with the all inclusive meetings. I feel that attending the all inclusive meetings can sometimes squelch us in discussion and participation. That it can be uncomfortable at times not knowing who is CD and who is transitioning. General conversation tends to stay on the "safe" side with not wanting to ask "are you transitioning". There just seems there's a tension in the air, for me anyway. Don't get me wrong, we've gone out to dinner with this group and enjoyed evenings along the way. But meeting a friend with the same interests other than crossdressing is hard. It's also something I have always longed for. Someone to have a beer with, work on a project together or even hang out with doing guy stuff.

Who knows...maybe I can make a difference in other crossdressers lives in doing this? I believe with the right people working together to make it fun as well as informative and as my wife says "herds like to hang together" we need a group in Orlando.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I think it's a great idea and wish you well in your endeavor.

Every group is going to have a dynamic over who they emphasis and who they don't. Remember You can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time.

There isn't a Tri-Ess Chapter near me so I went with another local group. I eventually left as I felt like the "Lone Transvestite" and was barely tolerated it that. If you weren't transitioning OR very politically involved you weren't welcome. I just wanted a safe place to dress in a friendly atmosphere.

It wasn't so I left.

[Meghan4now]

I was a bit confused because in the list of todays messages, this thread suggested you were interested in starting a Trip Was chapter. Figured you meant Tri Ess.

Seems like a good idea, although my impression Tri Ess to be a bit exclusive...not entirely welcoming of non-heterosexual cross dressers or individuals who are NB or tending towards some degree of transition. That may no longer be the case, but it was when I looked into joining a group.
As others have pointed out, Tri Was does have an exclusionary history. That's why Crossport started as am independent org in 1985. We celebrated 35 years in June! It is tough to keep it going, and groups like this have more appeal to those over 40. We do have a few youngsters, and spun off 3 other groups, including heartland which is youth oriented. Most groups now have a more TG slant.

[Robertacd]

In person CD clubs have been dying a slow death over the last couple decades due to an aging membership and the CD/TG/TS rift leading to an inability to gain new members.

Young people have little need for secret clubs or "safety in numbers" type organized events. Because they grew up in a world with a higher level of acceptance and will just go out dressed.

[Jenn A116]

Good luck in your endeavor. I had thought there already was a Try-Ess chapter in Orlando but I can't seem to find anything about it now. I'm in your general area, but the likelihood of me actually joining is pretty low simply because I don't go out en-femme.

[Robertacd]

Oh my.... https://tgforum.com/the-tri-ess-wars/

[Marianne S]

Our local Tri Ess is long gone. When I contacted them 12 years ago they told me NOT to come. That it was only for TS's and their partners. Single CD's were NOT welcome!:thumbsdn:

Only for TS's, not for CD's? Amazing! The complete opposite of national Tri-Ess policy. This must have been some "rogue chapter."

[BarbraAnne]

There used to be a Tri-Ess chapter in Central Florida, that met in Kissimmee. I once attended one of their meetings in the mid 90's while on vacation from NJ. I belonged to a Tri-Ess chapter in NJ which after about 25 years dropped Tri-Ess and went open. I belonged to a Tri-Ess chapter in Tampa Bay area that also went open. I recently ran a ex-Tri-Ess group in Buffalo, NY that, after 30 years, dried up due to lack of members. The average CD doesn't need an organized group anymore. They can just go to the local gay nightclubs or as some loose groups do, get together once a month at a friendly bar or restaurant. Being a crossdresser doesn't have the stigma it once had.

[Joyce Swindell]

I've done a lot of research on this. (more research than I normally do anyways) I've exhausted my wife I think a bit working through it. It seems the small fact that it really is a great organization for crossdressers to find each other in the real world. The goal is to help one another and the families of CD's to understand and work through it. But there are a lot more questions about the organization itself that has yet to be answered. My understanding is there is no financial accounting that gets reported to the membership and no monthly publication. Those in charge are permanent positions. Like owners of the group. Maybe that is what it is...I don't know. Owned and operated like a business???

I'm not sure if that really makes a difference to me personally but I don't really see a benefit to being a part of it other than recruiting through their website....advertisement. My wife and I plan to retire in a year or two and if I was to start a group I would be giving it up as we plan to travel the country when we retire.

So at this time we are moving real slow in consideration of this adventure. We talk about it often and my wife says she has my back with whatever I decide to do. I do want to be more involved with a crossdressing group so at this time I am looking into that a little too.

There still is a group that meets (BC (before COVID)) in Kissimmee at the LGBTQ facility once a month (again BC) and I'm part of that group. We are doing Zoom meetings every two weeks on average. This is the group that used to be Tri Ess for this area. However they are not affiliated with Tri Ess any longer because of membership drop and wanting to include trans-gendered members. Tri Ess excludes those and focus on CD's and those who are gender confused (don't know where they fit in the gender scope).

As it is I've not decided to do it....but I haven't completely ruled it out just yet. If someone else wanted to take the lead I will jump in for sure to assist. But to go it alone with just my wife and I ... most likely we'd be spreading ourselves a bit thin as we're also running a business.

Any takers?
Joyce

[Vickie_CDTV]

Barbra, I was a member of the Buffalo group for many years back 15-20 years ago (maybe you remember me?) I joined just after the split from Tri-Ess, and was still a member of Tri-Ess at the time. I am sad to hear the group has folded, I have many fond memories of going there years ago.

Groups started to fold about 10 years ago, after a boom when most people first got online. Getting a group together nowadays is almost impossible.

[Lana Mae]

All I know is I tried when I really needed them and they never replied to me! I tried numerous times! I figured that they were either shutting down or were too inclusive! Yes, when I considered myself as a CD! I wish you the best going forward! Hugs Lana Mae

[Kandi Robbins]

What I am about to say is my direct personal experience and not meant to generalize. I have repeatedly tried to form support groups, organize outings and dinners or shopping trips. I get zero interest or very tepid interest. Our community is not really a community. I understand the shame and secrecy associated with it is predominantly the issue, but I cannot understand the complete lack of interest. My suggestion is you allow something to grow organically. If you have one person, then have a regular get together, advertise it, hope others slowly come and keep your expectations very low.

[Di]

What I am about to say is my direct personal experience and not meant to generalize. I have repeatedly tried to form support groups, organize outings and dinners or shopping trips. I get zero interest or very tepid interest. Our community is not really a community. I understand the shame and secrecy associated with it is predominantly the issue. My suggestion is you allow something to grow organically. If you have one person, then have a regular get together, advertise it, hope others slowly come and keep your expectations very low.

I have to agree that was Sherlyn and my experience as well. Many are closeted and although they at the time want to their fear of being caught and just generally fear they are no shows. Another friend and her hubby also tried this in their area , shopping trips and dinners and they would hire a babysitter, go into the city and no shows and ghosted.
We just made friends that we hung out with and something we wanted to do anyways and mostly other couples seemed to work out the best . But as far as single CDs go if they showed great if not it was their loss. . No money put out or organized.
It?s wonderful wanting others to be safe and enjoy what you enjoy and hopefully you will not have the experience we did.

[atlflygirl]

It's strange that Tri-Ess still won't allow gay crossdressers. And I mean crossdressers, not drag queens. Huge difference. If the organization is dying out, why not create a bigger tent and open your doors to all sexualities? After all, LGBTQ is LGBTQ.