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Vicky_Scotland

03-31-2006, 03:46 AM

I suppose as spouses/partners are individuals, their opinions on crossdressing husbands/partners range from one end of the scale to the other. Some will be repulsed by it and leave but at the other end some will embrace it and this makes the relationship stronger and then there are those somewhere in the middle.

I am one of the lucky ones I would admit because my wife knows about Vicky and is very supportive and supports her 100%. There are guidelines and borders when it comes to my dressing and this is totally acceptable as I respect my wife and her wishes.

I can dress when i wish as long as the kids are away. I have my own wardrobe and make-up etc etc. She buys me lots of nice things. I am blessed having this woman as my wife.

I can never expect her to understand why I dress because I do not understand why I do but what i do know is that there is nothing I can do about it. IMO I was born a cd and had no choice in the matter like I had no choice in how tall I would grow, what colour eyes I would have, what colour hair I would have etc. This is who I am.

I do not know if this has any bearing on how my wife has accepted my other side but as well as being husband and wife we are also best friends. When I told that I xdressed and this was about into 10 years of marriage, after a lot of talking and tears, the usual questions like are you gay, is it something i have done she told me something wonderful. She said " if this is who you are thats fine, I love you for you". I think she was more annoyed that I had not told her years ago more rather than me being a xdresser.

I was risking everything, my marriage and my kid's but I got to a point where I was getting depressed because I was tired of sneaking around hiding who I really was. It was like having an affair but the other other woman was me. Covering my tracks and making sure things were put back properly etc.

Anyways I better get on now but again I will say this. I am very lucky to be in the position I am in and everyday I thank my lucky stars I have this wonderful human being as my wife and my best friend.

Luv :GE:

Vicky xx

Seven

03-31-2006, 04:13 AM

Sister I also am blessed with a most beloved Lady in my life, I am blessed having this lady in my life Sister your words. I have the best, so, so with me.
we have rules also, but she looks at it this way, she has got a better man, IE more melow nice to live with. Years ago I must give much thanks to a Grand Lady named janett Scott, Years ago Janett helped my wife and i come to understand whats going on. Some of you may have meet Janett http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/president.html I have a lot to thank her for (Janett Scott) and we are still friends to day. It is always hard to come out with new folks like yourselfs, bit at a time, My true name dressed is Diana and Janett, Jean thats my wife, have had some great Sundays at her home Luton UK, but that was a long time ago, and I have just come back after a long time. Anyway thats not what Sister is asking on this thred. I have a true a great wife she is the :yrtw: Sorry for going on, forgive me.

XXXXXXXXXX Seven

Lois82

03-31-2006, 06:22 AM

I am one of the unfortunate ones that has a wife that isn't supportive at all :sad: It is her loss trust me.

Joy Carter

03-31-2006, 06:26 AM

Raychel

03-31-2006, 07:52 AM

Janet loved the post please get on your soap box any time. There are so many intelegent people here I can't begin to hold a candle to them but Joy is so much happier being here and reading the posts I just wish I could get my true feeling into words.

AMEN to that. I am exactly the same in that respect. Not one of the most educated ones here. And definitly have a hard time getting my thoughts and words to push the right letters on the keyboard. Not being a very good typer doesn't help either.

Anyway. My wife knows about Raychel, and accepts both sides of me. She does go shopping with me at times. And even though she is acepting to this point she has no desire to see me dressed and will not participate in any way. Which is totally fine with me. She is a great woman in my mind for even accepting as much as she has. i love her very much and she says the she loves me too. I guess that must really be the case, becasue when I told her about Raychel, Although it was a very difficult time for both of us. We got thru it and she did not go running.

So as far as I am concerened any woman that accepts at all must be cherished and loved with all your heart. Pamper them all you can. They are the best.

Raychel

Seven

03-31-2006, 07:59 AM

So as far as I am concerened any woman that accepts at all must be cherished and loved with all your heart. Pamper them all you can. They are the best.

Raychel[/QUOTE]

So, So, So, Right Sister

Nikki Dee

03-31-2006, 08:03 AM

I'm a VERY lucky girl...my wife totally supports me...and I NEVER forget it.!!!!
Nikki. x

GypsyKaren

03-31-2006, 08:06 AM

Not only does Kat support Karen, she embraces her. I know I'm a very lucky girl, so I make sure she gets breakfast in bed all the time.

Karen

Cheery GG

03-31-2006, 08:14 AM

From a gg's point of view i would like to add something....i think any crossdresser who has a supportive partner, should ALWAY appreciate what they have. However....

Please bare in mind that just because we are supportive, we have our boundaries....we have our limits on what, when and how we can accept it.

Those who push the boundaries cant possibly understand how lucky they are in the first place.

For those without partners....keep looking cos the right one is out there....took me a long time to find Lisa, but oh boy it was worth the effort...

I would also like to add for a personal perpective that being with Lisa has taught me so much about myself, in a way that is very difficult to put into words. Maybe some other GG's could help out with that bit, im sure they know what i mean....

anyway, take care everyone and love to all....

cheery
xx

Helen MC

03-31-2006, 08:30 AM

I told my then girlfriend who became my wife, (now my ex-wife), that I was a CD and she accepted the fact, we would have split up if she had objected. She was quite at ease with my wearing panties instead of male underpants and indeed we shared our knickers as we took the same size and liked the same styles. Often we would go out wearing identical panties.

As regards my wearing skirts etc indoors I would say she "tolerated" this. A pleated or A line skirt was acceptable but she would have baulked at a pretty dress of the type worn by our US poster "Butterfly Bill" as case in point.

As a rule of thumb of the girlfriends I have had and who have accepted my CD side they have all accepted my wearing panties, and as regards any further CD activities have tolerated these as long as I didn't appear more feminine than them. As I am primarily a fetishistic crossdresser and not one who feels the need to accurately portray a woman, this is not too much of a problem.

Vicky_Scotland

03-31-2006, 11:12 AM

From a gg's point of view i would like to add something....i think any crossdresser who has a supportive partner, should ALWAY appreciate what they have. However....

Please bare in mind that just because we are supportive, we have our boundaries....we have our limits on what, when and how we can accept it.
Those who push the boundaries cant possibly understand how lucky they are in the first place.

For those without partners....keep looking cos the right one is out there....took me a long time to find Lisa, but oh boy it was worth the effort...

I would also like to add for a personal perpective that being with Lisa has taught me so much about myself, in a way that is very difficult to put into words. Maybe some other GG's could help out with that bit, im sure they know what i mean....

anyway, take care everyone and love to all....

cheery
xx

"I am one of the lucky ones I would admit because my wife knows about Vicky and is very supportive and supports her 100%. There are guidelines and borders when it comes to my dressing and this is totally acceptable as I respect my wife and her wishes".

^^^^^^^^^ Taken from my original post.

Leilani68

03-31-2006, 11:23 AM

I have a Very Supportive wife:
She has known about my Femme Side/Crossdressing since forever......
She does a lot of shopping for me, we do lot's of girl things together.
We are able to talk about things easier and argue much less than most couples.................:rose:

kaitlin

03-31-2006, 11:43 AM

Hello, My girlfriend supports me 100%, she says that I am a better person now that I am my true self, she also says that being fem has made me alot more understanding and a better lover!!!!! Luvs kaitlin

Stiletto

03-31-2006, 02:40 PM

I have a very supportive wife and I'm very thankful for that. I'll always ask if it's OK for me to dress and thank her afterwards for giving me some time. She doesn't want me to go out (which I'm fine with) or to pick a female name (again, I'm OK with that...I'm a dude in a skirt, not a woman in a mans body) but other than that she's fine with it. I hinted to her I'd like to have her take pictures sometime but she will when she's ready. I'm not about to cross any lines and ruin what we have. It's about respect on both sides for us.

Trinity_cat

03-31-2006, 03:01 PM

The short answer............NO NO NO.

Congradulations to all who have a supporting SO.
It shows in your posts that you are more than just thankful.

TGMarla

03-31-2006, 03:14 PM

Is your wife/partner supportive of your fem side?

Well, she knows, but nope, she's not supportive of it.

Josi

03-31-2006, 03:57 PM

My SO Annie is amazing.
Before we met just over a year ago, she had never encountered CD in her life.
She is brave, generous and kind. ... oh and open!

She has my respect and love for who she is - not just for what she does.

I am sooooo lucky .. I know that.

I will gush if I say anymore ..... I am beaming as I write, because I am sitting near her and looking at her feeling a love unknown to me before.

The man in me is so proud to be her SO. I like being her man.
My femme side is grateful for the opportunity to exist and be encouraged and supported in the real world.

I had better stop before you ask for the bucket .. ;)

BonnieJG

03-31-2006, 04:01 PM

I have a Very Supportive wife she knows and sometime she help me dress and she is starting to help me more and more as long as I keep in the house in our room

Shelly Preston

03-31-2006, 04:14 PM

robyn1114

03-31-2006, 04:53 PM

My wife accepts my CDing, but she's not real supportive

Rossie

03-31-2006, 04:59 PM

I thought that my wife supported to me, but soon when I presented in femme she rejected to me.No longer it supports me.

annekathleen

03-31-2006, 05:07 PM

The only way that she is (unknowingly supportive ) is by leaving her side of the closet unlocked, tee hee hee, and......
not caring if I've been through her underwear drawer,
( she thinks I'm putting her clean laundry away )
but actually, I have nicer panties than her!:rolleyes:

michellecd9999

03-31-2006, 05:42 PM

My wife does not know. If she did she probably would not leave me but she wouldn't be happy about it and I doubt she would want to see me or participate in any way. For those that have supporting SOs,Lucky you!
Michelle

ANA

03-31-2006, 06:10 PM

My wife knows but is not supportive she has allowed me to keep the cloths she know that i have but i still have more that she does not know about. she keeps telling i need to throw the cloths and shoes away but just can't do it. i am trying to respect her wishes but this is something i just don't know how to stop doing believe i have tried.

angelinamillar

03-31-2006, 06:21 PM

My girlfriend has known for 10 years, well since i met her, supportive? lol more chance of our troops being pulled out of Iraq tomoz. Quite simply she does not understand, she ends up looking at god knows what websites and thinks she understands and she don't. Oh well, like was mentioned earlier, her loss.

Hugs,

Angelina :p

Deidra Cowen

03-31-2006, 06:51 PM

My girlfriends knows and is supportive. Of course since I met her out at a nightclub while enfemme I expect thats no big surprise. :evil:

Mary Jane

03-31-2006, 08:33 PM

My wife knows but is not supportive. I guess she accepts the fact that I need to dress and I can dress when she is away from home. Usually once a month. It definitely could be worse.

Staci

03-31-2006, 09:47 PM

My wife is supportive. She helps me pick out clothes and make-up.

mskilmer

03-31-2006, 10:01 PM

My wife knows and loves it! Honestly ... it's brought us closer in some ways. She even buys me things :D
Actually I rarely dress en femme without her involved. We have a great time.

Melanie R

03-31-2006, 10:36 PM

My wife is very supportive and for the next 7 days will be sharing a complete feminine wardropbe with me as we begin our 27th crossdressing cruise this Sunday. I am taking no clothes for Mel so Melanie will have to be out among them meaning 2800 other passengers. There are 8 couples in our group for this cruise and without exception all the wives are 100% accepting of their husband's dressing. What makes these wives so unique in their acceptance as compared to many of your wives. I will ask each of them to give me a statement of why and how they came to acceptance and report back in 8-9 days.

Melanie

Rachel Morley

04-01-2006, 12:15 AM

Yes, my wife is very supportive. We met on a cd forum and she married me knowing everything. I know I am so fortunate to be allowed to express this part of me...but even more than that Marla actually participates in it. Crossdressing is not "my thing" it's "our thing".

Kordia

04-01-2006, 12:27 AM

I (had) a wife that found me out and I confessed everything in a desperate attempt of belated trust. WRONG!!! Even though she felt "relieved" that it was finally out in the open and she "understood" she began to treat me like a second hand wheel. Needless to say, that was about two months ago, before she left me..... I'm afraid that I'm going to be a very lonely Kordia when it comes to that area ..............

Bernice

04-01-2006, 03:49 AM

I insisted on telling her before we got engaged. She was initially pretty supportive, though never enthusiastic.

Certain external events after marriage (a violent peeping tom saw me through closed blinds) led her to be much less supportive. She would prefer that I never go outside enfemme; never go near a door or window enfemme; not wear prosthetics, makeup, or wig in her presence.

After 30 years, I don't question her love, and she doesn't question my crossdressing. But how supportive is that, really? Yes, obviously, to a degree. But not 100% or encouraging.

I accept my lot in life, and try not to be too envious.

Hugs,

Bernice

zoetv

04-01-2006, 09:44 AM

I am really lucky as i have a very supportive wife and i have no problems whatsoever if i wish to become Zoe . wel i do change most days ,it's great

melissacd

04-01-2006, 12:06 PM

Nine years ago my wife accidentally discovered my dressing after about 14 years together. At that time I was not very accepting of it within myself so needless to say in spite of answering all of her many questions and writing a heartfelt letter and finding things to educate her, she totally rejected it, threw out my stuff and told me to stop. I did.

Nine years later, the issue never resolved, our relationship felt like it was coming apart. Without saying the exact reason I suggested that we needed to see a relationship counselor. She agreed. I suggested that we see the counselor first each alone so that the counselor could get each person's story without the other interjecting. She agreed. I went to the first session and that night she asked what we talked about. I said that we should wait until our session together and she insisted that I say something.

I hemmed and hawed and debated with myself what to do. Then I thought, well the relationship feels like it is going down the toilet anyway so I decided to let her know about the relationship issues that I discussed including talking to the therapist about the cross dressing, how it has never gone away, how I was discovered and how upset my wife was, how this has never been resolved in all these years and how I felt that it was a discussion that had to be finished. We had an interesting discussion that night in bed.

A few months have passed since then, we have gone to counseling together, we have had many discussions, we have begun to relate to each other in a way that has been so much better than it has been in a long time. She has done some reading, I have shown her some pictures, she is now willing to see some movies about cross dressing to better understand. While she is still very uncomfortable with the topic, she at least accepts that it is a part of who I am, she is okay with me going to support groups, is okay with me rebuilding a wardrobe and has said she will work through this in baby steps.

Within a very short period of time we have regained our relationship, can see a future together and she is growing in her acceptance everyday. For my part , I do not push her, I take baby steps in my efforts to move this forward, I am honest with her about everything. To my happiness and amazement she has started asking me about this rather than me always having to bring the subject up, this shows me that she is processing all of this and is starting to come around.

I show her that I am still me, that I still retain my masculine components and that the feminine components were always there, she just never saw that before. I can see that I am growing from this experience and whereas a year ago I would have said that I was ready to leave, my love is growing deeper everyday with each touch, kiss, hug, conversation....everything. I know that this is a gradual process, however, I can now see that she will come around, in fact she is progressing through this so much faster than I expected after the reaction I got 9 years ago. I see now that love and caring and patience and respect will get us through this. I love her so much and I have gained a huge respect for her love and courage.

Is she supportive, yes, more and more each day. What more can one ask for...

Huggs
Melissa

EricaCD

04-01-2006, 01:01 PM

I'm with Marla - wife knows, not supportive but not overtly against. We are firmly back into "don't ask, don't tell, don't discuss mode." I'm aware that responses can run much worse, and the rest of our lives together are a joy. For me I wanted our relationship to remain on an honest footing. Once that was addressed, if she elects not to involve herself in this aspect of my life I will respect her wish.

Erica

PennieS

04-01-2006, 03:17 PM

Although i wear panties 24/7 and have had longer feminate style hair for most of our 30 years together, she does not know about my other clothing, she does not seem to supportive of CDing and I wish she knew how i feel. I have been on hormones for 6 months and she has told me that I need a bra and she plans on going out and buying me one. I have always had some breast developement, but now it is beginning to become even more apparent, She said I could use a bra and maybe a sports bra under some of my other clothes. I did not let her know that I already have several, I am hoping thinks work out better if and when she decides to go out and actually get them. She has even gone to the bother of measuring me to see what size I might be. I did not let her know that i already have a 40A and several 40b that I have been wearing occasionally. She did go out shopping today for a bunch of other things she was needing so I am hoping today may be the day that she decides to buy one. I can only hope that she realy meant it and pray for the best.

midwest GG

04-02-2006, 11:48 PM

AMEN to that!!!! I would much rather be supportive, and love him for who he/she is, than lose him/her all together. He is a wonderful father, spouse, and provider, and he too is my absolute best friend. I wouldn't have it any other way!!!

ginafaye

04-03-2006, 04:49 PM

my wife is very suportive........i get to sleep dressed almost every nite ......daytime activies are whatever family duties permit.......if were alone its all ok

Sally Jo

04-04-2006, 01:37 PM

As I just posted earlier, I to have a supportive wife, and I love every inch of her. Sally Jo.

Anita Mae GG

04-04-2006, 01:40 PM

I support my husband because Danielle is a part of him and I love ALL of him very much. Wouldn't change anything about him'her for the world........

Cutie

04-04-2006, 02:19 PM

I am very lucky because my wife fully supports me. You is happy about my dressing and does anything she can to help.
I have my own cupboards etc for my fem clothes. We share make-up, and always go out shopping together.
She has been a great help with make-up, giving me lessons on how to look more fem. She has also taken lots of pics for me and helps with how to walk and act fem.
We have been out together and been mistaken for girly friends and even sisters. We have the same dress size 10/12uk.

I realise I am very lucky to have such support at home..

Take care xxxx

Brandy_Marie

04-04-2006, 05:42 PM

I went back and looked because I had posted on a similar topic when I first joined this forum close to a year ago. This is what I found:

I remember when I first told my wife. I was absolutely terrified. We had already gone through one of the roughest trials and tribulations any marriage could undergo (almost entirely my fault), and here I was revealing one of the scariest secrets I could ever reveal to anyone. I fully expected her to completely freak out and hate me for turning her world upside down yet again.

She shocked me to my core by not only being as completely accepting as I think any GG could be, she seemed to actually be pleased by the turn of events. It surprised me more b/c when I revealed my secret to her, I told her that I was going to seek a Gender Dysphoria specialist, try to get started on treatments as soon as possible, and leave it to her whether I'd remain pre- or post-op. There was a cooling-off period of about a week where we didn't talk about it. Then, one day out of the blue, she came home from an unannounced shopping trip. She had gone out to purchase me some 'dainties' and had discovered that she absolutely loved shopping for me.

She immediately converted me to wearing women's underwear full-time that day. She didn't buy me any outerwear, which was fine with me at the time. I told her all of my desires, and she was fully supportive of all of them. She even bought me my first corset as a Valentine's Day gift.

After a while, I went through a period of rejecting Brandy, and packed everything away. I said not one word to my wife; I just stopped being Brandy. She accepted it without complaint and we tried to move on. Again, problems occurred in our marriage.

We finally went to a marriage counselor, and started working on our relationship as husband and wife. Brandy never entered into this at first. But, as time went on, and our relationship grew stronger, my desire to bring Brandy back returned full force.

I told my wife, except this time I was more cautious in my desires. I didn't want to go as far (CD'ing instead of sex-change operation) or as fast (as things feel comfortable instead of complete change in a year), and she supported me in that. She expressed that she was ecstaticly happy to see Brandy again.

Again, I turned against myself, and started accusing her of being a lesbian and trying to 'force' me to be a woman. She took it all in stride. We sat down, had a long conversation, and figured out exactly where Michael and Brandy stood with regards to our marriage.

She has decided that she is married to Brandy; Michael is a necessary evil that all who know Brandy tolerate because they have to right now. I think they all wish for the day when he'll be gone forever. Right now, I don't ever see that happening, but who knows. As it is, at every holiday she makes sure that both Michael and Brandy receive cards and gifts.

For the most part, it all still holds true. I have not rejected myself since that time, although I have had questions. Since then, I had my first public outing on Halloween (with my wife by my side). I have also come to realize that I cannot be one or the other; I will always be both Michael and Brandy, with all of their strengths and their flaws. I am trying to find a way to blend the strengths and overcome the flaws. I could not have the life I have now, one which grows richer with each passing day, if it wasn't for the love and support of my amazing wife.

Brandy Marie Devereaux

PS, I do most of my own shopping now and have built up quite a wardrobe, but she did buy me my first purse recently.

CharlaineCadence

04-04-2006, 06:01 PM

I have to say my female friend ( can really call her girlfriend) supports me as does some of my best friends. It was her guidence and advice that really alowed me the currage to dress 8 years after i stoped. now i'm happier and in the transistion to not only full time but a new life as a woman.

size7satin

04-04-2006, 06:14 PM

When my wife was here she was not supportive at all.

Joanie

04-04-2006, 08:30 PM

Might as well add my two cents worth....I started CDing two years into our marriage (actually not true--wore my mother's lipstick when she was away as an early teen) when she was out of town. I felt so freaked out about it that I confessed when she came back. She said no big deal. In the next year or so, she agreed that I could wear panties and hose while in bed, even gave me a manicure. Once, I lent her hose when all of hers had runs.
The older we get, it seems that she is a little less accepting. I asked her a year or two back to give me a makeover but instead she gave me some of her older cosmetics, which is fine. I respect her not wanting to see me in a skirt and blouse as this wasn't something she knew about (neither did I, for that matter) when we wed.

Occasionally, I like to say things to her like..if you want to see a bunch of crossdressers, go to the mall, meaning all the women there in jeans! Anyway, this double standard in Western society is slowly changing, what with spas opening their doors for men, MACs giving us makeovers, etc.

MaylinJane

04-04-2006, 09:24 PM

My wife is very supportive too. When I came out she was more accepting of me than I was.

May

suchacutie

04-04-2006, 11:13 PM

Tina would never have existed without my wife's encouragement. She helps Tina at every step, is her fashion consultant and beauty guide, and Tina's close girlfriend. My love for her knows no bounds!

tina.

HaleyPink2000

04-05-2006, 03:27 AM

I'm going to Hell and that's it in Her mind. You know what I think of that idea from Her? It's Crap. I'm not going to Hell for this, maybe other things, but not this. Also She will not go to my Support Group meetings to meet people I am friends with. She won't read much about this and won't do anything that could make Her out as a person that might be in anyway involved with this. She says that if She helps me it's as much of a sin as doing it.

So my question to Her is this??? So if She wears jeans and a shirt, She's in sin also, HUH?

HMMM? But also I do dress at home when I want to, as long as the Grand kids are not around. My Daughter that is 31 also knows about my dressing and is supportive, where my Wife is not. I go to bed dressed, and She don't like it. But as for Sex, that is something She has little use for anyway. So who gives a rat's you know what about Her withholding back Sex. It's not there anyway.

Oh yeah, maybe a few times a year, " you want me to help you do the M thing". So what, I'm 55 and I just don't give a crap. Don't get me wrong, I love Her with all my heart. But this is me and will be from now on.

My first Day retired I got up, got dressed and walked around the house. Then took the truck for a drive for about two hours. Fully dressed enfemme.
Drove around and felt good about doing it. Just me, the windows down, music up, and loving it.

So as I'd say, NO She's not excepting at all! But at this point I care only little.

To let you in on this even more. I have tried everything, from every book, from every person here etc. Even Had the GG's here E-mail here. That got Her to read this site. That did help the most. But She's through, She's right and everybody else is wrong. She does this same kinda thing all the time to me. I'm wrong and She's always right.

Ok, She can be right. :) I'm wrong, HUH?

Sedona

04-05-2006, 08:55 PM

My GF is probably a 3 out of 10 on the acceptance scale. Since I told her six months ago, she hasn't seen me dressed except for panties. I'd been wearing them five or six days a week, and she recently told me to back off on that.

I suppose I'm fortunate in that my CDing is largely fetishistic, and have no desire to go out (which would HORRIFY her). I'm a big burly type of guy (don't be fooled by my avatar, I've had a photo class or three), who looks a little ridiculous in a dress (I actually laugh at myself sometimes).

I love my GF dearly, but since I told her, I've shaved/waxed my body once (she tolerated it, sort of), and she's bought me a couple of nice lotions, and some undies for Val' Day (but doesn't really want to see me in them).

I'm a fairly stubborn and pigheaded person as a rule, and part of me wants to say, "I'm out of here, I'll find someone who accepts all of me." But, I'm beginning to realize that I can't have it all, and I should hang onto the small amount of tolerance she affords me.