my changing life

[Stephanie205]

Hi Girls
I am just wondering if any of you have the same feelings as me. As I work from home the lockdown has not really changed my life that much. Up to 2014 when I was not so confident about who I was I would stop dressing for a while but then the urge to dress was over powering so I would dress en femme. As I grew more comfortable with myself my confidence grew and not worried about what society thought of me I dressed and went out more often. About 4 months ago I really thought about whom I am even more than usual and thought to hell with it embrace my feminine side fully and see what happens. I have been to the beach out dressed for diner, drinks and shopping and dressing regularly at home with make-up, nail polish and wig on nearly all the time. I have told a girl who is a friend about Stephanie and been out in public for bike rides with her basically dressed in male shorts and top but with earrings nail polish and make up on. So yesterday I went shopping all dressed up took in 2 shopping malls and other stores for 4 hours came back with even more cloths than planned shorts and camis but also looked other clothes. As I tried the clothes on I started to think I am more calm, less stressed and happy with myself when I am en femme. But lately have been thinking of living as a woman full time and trying to figure out all the implications of doing so. The journey continues.

Stephanie

[susan54]

With lockdown I have moved from being dressed a lot of the time to being dressed (i.e. in a dress) almost all the time. I don't wear make up or a wig, but everything else. You have to wear something, so why not clothes you enjoy? I do not imagine I am a woman so there is no question of wanting to go full-time. Apart from occasional forays as Susan (only once since lockdown) I still interact in person with the world as a man and that is the way I prefer it. I prefer being male - the clothes are the only aspect of being a woman I envy.

[Crissy 107]

Stephanie, Good for you, it is a big step but you seem to have thought it through, good luck with everything.

[GretchenM]

Congratulations, Stephanie, you have reached a major threshold in your journey into the world of gender reality. I am so happy for you. It is apparent that you have grown in ways that are more consistent with your foundational gender structure. When you achieve that you have a peace come over you because your brain is now "happy." You are living the real you that has formed as a result of billions of experiences, millions of things you have learned, and piles of things that you have realized. You weren't born that way - babies don't have gender identities - they develop them over the first 2 to 3 years of their life. And it continues to change throughout your life. It has all come together for you. Should you go full time? That is a decision only you can make, but, my dear, you have accomplished something really grand. Whatever decision you make, if you stay true to yourself it will work out really well.

[Krisi]

"Living as a woman full time" is a big decision. There's more to it than you may have thought of. Shaving your face is no longer an option, you must do it every day, possible more than once a day. You'll have to learn to talk like a woman. You will have to explain this to doctors and others. You'll have to get your ID and credit cards changed. And you'll have to explain this to your employer.

Personal relationships may be a problem. Will you start dating men or look for a woman who will accept you as a woman with a penis and fake breasts?

I don't mean to discourage you, but you can't easily decide to live as a woman and then change your mind at some point down the road. Give this some very serious though before making any changes.

[Teresa]

Stephanie,
I was going to say if you have few or no problems with acceptance in your close family living full time is as easy as falling off a log .

But I'm afraid I wouldn't be telling the whole truth . When I separated just over two years ago I vowed to give full time a try in my new home town . Straight away it raised a new set of problems , I had to discover how little makeup to wear what most GGs wear just to go about their everyday chores , dressing to the nines is far easier . Being confident with how you look has to be the key , you don't want to be faced with a sitaution where you lose it and run for cover . In the first week I'd registered as Terri at my GPs surgery and also with my blood donation centre , I'd shopped in every type of shop from supermarkets to DIY stores and builders merchants and finally last September rejoined my painting group as Terri . I also had my hearing aids fitted and visited my dentist for a check up . After two years I've finally dressed to walk the dog and all my dog walking friends have been lovely .

Just to take Krisi's points , I accept I have to full body shave everyday , it's an acceptable part of me now . My voice isn't proving too much of a problem , I still feel the first visual impression is how they will accpet you , what you sound like is secondary to that . Very quickly you have to lose the need to keep checking over your shoulder for reactions, if you don't look for them you won't get them . The biggest problem is trying to lose the thought of being a man , get into thinking how would a GG do this , I know I will have to stop referring to my wife , although people are quite happy to talk about children . I was in a conversation with a SA the other day she appeared to view me as their mother rather than their father .

It's taken me two years and I'm still learning , as like you I've spent 60+ years as a man , I will add I have no regrets , I'm far happier and contented .

One final comment , Krisi also mentions you can always change your mind , that is true but for me personally being full time has meant the man has more or less ceased to exist , my dysphoria hits me like a sledgehammer if and when I have to do male mode .

[kimdl93]

I think you have made a rather important discovery about yourself during these past few months. Clearly, you are comfortable and perhaps happier presenting yourself to the world as a woman than you might have once thought. While living full time as a woman is likely some time away, at least now you are now open to that possibility. That, in and of itself, is progress. Enjoy life as it reveals itself to you.

[Jenny22]

Stephani, there are pros and cons in your considering going full time, so I suggest you do this.

Make T chart. One side is pros, and the other, con. Start listing everything you can think of, and continue for several weeks until you feel you've exhausted all considerations. Then consider how you stand.

[Natalie5004]

Stephani, there are pros and cons in your considering going full time, so I suggest you do this.

Make T chart. One side is pros, and the other, con. Start listing everything you can think of, and continue for several weeks until you feel you've exhausted all considerations. Then consider how you stand.

Jenny are you an engineer? That is what I would have done.

[Stephanie205]

thank you girls for your insight it has given me more thinks to think about which is good. Jenny I have been doing a mental pros and cons for a week or so now and Natalie not sure if Jenny is an engineer but I was hence taking time to think and make a list. I think my first step that does not change anything is in NS Canada we can have no gender on our drivers lisc and medical card. The rest of the changes are for the future.

[docrobbysherry]

Good for u, Steff!:thumbsup:

Going out dressed to vanilla venues has the opposite effect on me. It makes me nervous, stressed, and uncomfortable! Because I can't pass at midnite in a black out I'm obviously a man in a dress. Plus, dressing to blend is like Kryptonite for me!:thumbsdn:

The result being I get a lot more attention than I need or want when out shopping, dining, etc.:sad:

When I go out presenting as an old man? I pass perfectly and go completely unnoticed. No stress or worries! So, I can accomplish the purpose(s) I went out for quickly and easily!:)

[Devi SM]

"Living as a woman full time" is a big decision. There's more to it than you may have thought of. Shaving your face is no longer an option, you must do it every day, possible more than once a day. You'll have to learn to talk like a woman. You will have to explain this to doctors and others. You'll have to get your ID and credit cards changed. And you'll have to explain this to your employer.

Personal relationships may be a problem. Will you start dating men or look for a woman who will accept you as a woman with a penis and fake breasts?

I don't mean to discourage you, but you can't easily decide to live as a woman and then change your mind at some point down the road. Give this some very serious though before making any changes.

For your knowledge I'm now almost 2 and half years on HRT, living full time as a woman, keep happily married with the same woman for 41 years, have orchi 3 months ago and things not necessarily are like Krisi and her negative way of seeing things are.
If you take that comment serious.you won't do anything.

I think we must be realistic but no overwhelm people with too much info based just in our personal limited experience.

I definitely see in you an inevitable future of a trans person but you need to be patience and get in counseling, therapy. Soon you'll discover that this is not about dressing but to face ice as a woman. We live in a world controlled for prejudices, bias, religious thoughts about sex and identity and we, trans people, are pioneers opening new roads for the people behind us. People like you is the only reason to stay here in this web.

We just come back from a vacation trip for 7 different states and met all kind of people
The experience was great but meet a counselor.
Be patience, time is in your side, soon I'll be 61 years old but life deserve to be live in an honest way, without fears and in freedom.
Good luck and count on me as a friend.

Ho

Devi

[rian]

This lock down at home gave us the feeling of dressing like a woman in a full extent ,,,is so lovely which made us less stressful