Which bathroom

[stefjones13]

I am going out this weekend and I have a question for all of you ladies. If you were at the mall and Had to use the restroom which one would you use%?

[bobbi1957]

if you are dressed use the ladies

[Stephanie47]

My mall has a family bathroom. Single occupancy. Changing table for infants. Privacy for a parent to take the opposite sex child into a bathroom to eliminate perverts. When en femme I make it a point to not need any bathroom facilities. I do agree with Bobbi.

[Helen_Highwater]

When shopping enfemme I will always use the ladies facilities. I tend to head for the toilets in larger department stores rather than the public ones in the mall. The store facilities can be a bit quieter, less busy and often free of parent and child.

Small eateries or coffee shops often have dual use facilities which does away with the dilemma.

[Suranne]

What Helen says, particularly when it comes to the smaller shops, cafes and such. Also, unisex accessible toilets can be a useful fallback if an otherwise bad choice presents itself.

[hosekid]

If you are transitioning, and view yourself as female, then use the women's room

If you identify as male, and are just crossdressing, use the men's room

If you are somewhere between the two, use a bottle (joke)

[Gia]

Good question. I have not been out yet but I think I would use the ladies bathroom.

[Teresa]

StefJones,
If you really are unsure and don't feel confident enough to use the ladies then consider using the disabled ones .

[Krisi]

Many malls have a "family" restroom for parents with kids or for people who need assistance. While not technically correct, that would be my choice.

Otherwise, if you are presenting as female and look reasonably female, I would choose the ladies restroom. If you're one of those who dresses half and half, the men's restroom would be the proper choice.

Be aware that in some areas, it's against the law to use the ladies restroom if you are not biologically female. Know before you go.

[Jillian Faith]

When out enfemme I always use the ladies room. I agree with Helen as I also find the ladies rooms in the larger department stores to be less crowded. Even in the busier mall food court bathrooms get in do your business, wash your hands, check your make-up and get out. You really shouldn't have a problem. Of course if you are still nervous or unsure you can always fall back to the single use unisex bathrooms.

[SheriM]

When dressed totally enfemme with wig and makeup, I used the ladies room. Even though I do not totally pass, I try to watch and not go into a very crowded restroom where there might be a line. Mind your own business, get into a cubical, do your thing, wash your hands, comb your hair and leave. I've used many rest stop restrooms when I can travel enfemme.

[Robertacd]

When I am presenting as a woman I use the Woman's restroom.

Check the laws in your state as in Washington State, the law is on our side.

People in Washington state are legally allowed to use the restroom of the gender they identify with.

Just remember to SIT DOWN.

[Davina Katherine]

Same here. When en femme (wig, makeup etc) I use the ladies.
And like Helen and many others, I prefer the big department stores, clean and quiet!

Funny-ish restroom story. My wife and I were having dinner with another couple with whom we normally have all girl outings.
But this time I couldn't go dressed :sad:. When I went to use the restroom, I had to keep checking myself to make sure I was heading for the right one (the men's). It felt VERY odd.

[suzanne]

As a MIAD, I'm not trying to fool anyone into thinking I'm a woman. So when i need to use the facilities, its the mens. But instead of a urinal, I go into a stall. Nobody wants to see my skirt getting pulled up while I use a urinal.

[Asew]

I present with a mix of male and female, so I use the men's room.

[CynthiaD]

I use the ladies room when dressed. In my home town I know of a few businesses that have non-gendered bathrooms, and I use those if I?m close. I also know the businesses that have single-user bathrooms and I use those if I can?t get to a non-gendered bathroom. I use the one reserved for women. And if push comes to shove, I?ll use the closest ladies room even if it?s a busy multi-user facility.

I just had to add this, once when I was traveling en femme I stopped at a rest stop and noticed that the men?s room was closed and locked. No problem since I was going to be using the ladies room. When I was seated in the ladies room I overheard a conversation between a man and woman just outside the door. He had an urgent need and was wondering if there was anyone in the ladies room. The lady said that her husband just went up into the trees, but the guy explained that his need wouldn?t allow that. So the lady said that yes, there was one lady in there (me) and as soon as she came out he could go in. She said she?d stand guard to make sure no other ladies went in until he came out. I came right out, looked at both of them and thought ?huh. How about that.?

[GaleWarning]

It's not unusual to find, at busy social events like pub quizzes or music evenings, that the lady's room is often very crowded and the men's room is not. On several occasions I have been present when a lady will ask to use the men's room because her need is urgent. I have never seen a man who has had any problem with a lady using the men's room.

Cynthia, it was heartening to read your post.

[Leslie Langford]

To pick up on Cynthia's comment...

A few years ago I was out shopping en femme - and as per my usual habit when doing so - went into the women's restroom to do my business when the need suddenly arose. No sooner was I seated in a stall when I heard a tap on the wall, followed by a GG's sheepish voice asking me if there was any toilet paper in my stall as there seemed to be none in hers. When I replied in the affirmative, she asked me if I would be kind enough to pass some over to her underneath the stall wall, and I happily complied. She thanked me profusely, and just before leaving, I asked her again if she was still O.K., which she said she was. Apparently, this type of thing is not uncommon in ladies' restrooms.

I just chuckled to myself afterwards, reflecting on the fact that there was now one GG who was probably very thankful to have had a crossdresser sharing the ladies' room with her, even if it was unbeknownst to her. Ah, the ironies of life! ;)

[susan54]

In the UK it is already legal for men to use the Ladies which makes the current fuss about gender identity a bit redundant as far as toilets are concerned. I do not identify as a woman but try to dress and act as one when out. In hundreds of excursions I have only had to use a toilet about four times. Always in hotels and apart from the last time I asked reception if I could use the Ladies. They always said yes and I was always alone in there. The last time was in a facility attached to a sort of leisure centre and I was with a GG who came with me. I don't feel comfortable using a Ladies without permission because I am not a lady, and for the same reason would not feel comfortable about using a disabled toilet. I am lucky that I hardly ever have to use a public toilet anyway so that I don't even have a mental list of establishments with small single user toilets that are used by all customers. Perhaps when I get older I will need to start a list of these!

[Val_Blackbird]

I may not have right to answer this, but I'll say something.

Insofar, I've primarily limited my outings to a gay bar in town as a safety measure. I always use the women's room, when I go there. Perhaps this is odd, but when I hear GGs come in, I just stay put in the stall until they leave (which sometimes can be a lengthy while). It might be a little paranoid, but I worry that they might be put off by a guy (and I'm certainly not fooling anyone) in the women's room with them, so I just get very quiet and give them their space. A few times, I've been doing a quick wig / makeup check before leaving and they've walked in. As of yet, no issues, but I still get a little tense. As I understand it, a lot of straight women go to gay bars because they're trying to avoid guys, so . . . . .

As to more normal locations, I have been out in the general public either four or five times now; I can't completely remember. Not often, and with everything going on recently, I'd say it probably won't be happening again for a very long time. It was a tourist area at night with a lot of people meandering about. To date, I have not used a restroom at all in this situation. I do have one selected as a good possibility, should it become absolutely needed, as I have a medical condition that does result in more frequent restroom runs than most people (sometimes). It's well out of the way, and the adjacent men's room has always been deserted when I was in there. That said, this location has, at times, been closed off for private functions, which would of course be a bit of a problem if I had a situation going on. So, not fully ideal, but it still seems to be the best option. I don't really want to risk using a restroom at all in a general population area while I'm en femme, if it can be avoided, simply because I feel like neither option is particularly welcoming. So, I just try not to at all.

[Stephanie Julianna]

Ladies room when I am a lady.

[bobbi1957]

when i 1st started dressing i was worried about using ladies, but i could never go into males room looking fem. . so about the third time i was in one a woman started a conversation with me. i couldnt ignore her so we chatted as i fixed my hair. it was a great .. i loved the feeliing of being accepted

[Leslie Mary S]

Can I make a suggestion. If you are going to dress enfemme you might make it a habit to always use a stall and sit in the stall. I have seen new CDers go into a woman's Loo and enter a stall and just hike up the hem and stand facing the john. This is a clue to other woman that you are a mail because they see the heel of your shoes. By always sitting when in the john regardless of how you are dressed you will get into the 'proper' way of a lady.
Woman do not spray or splash the seats either.

[susanmichelle]

When I am presenting as a woman I use the Woman's

Just remember to SIT DOWN.


No joke on the remembering to SIT DOWN. The first thing to give yourself away is the have your feet (heels) facing the wrong way. Definitely a give away as we all know you can see the feet of others in the stall next to you.

Every time I?ve gone out dressed even if I wasn?t super made up such as makeup etc. I?ve always gone into the restroom of how I?m dressed. I go in after watching closely from afar if possible and when I thought it was empty or at least one other was in and I knew it was a two or more stalls then I?d go ahead and enter. Get into the stall do your business and exit ASAP of course after washing your hands and checking your lipstick. Most of the time I?ve had the occasion to go I?ve usually been in a restaurant and usually one I?ve been in before so know their layout very well.

Plus the lipstick check is always necessary after eating. Food has a tendency to remove it even the everlast lip stains like I use. Their almost bulletproof until dining or having hot coffee or hot chocolate. My two cents later ladies.

[Sandi Beech]

Hi all,
Like some of you, I avoid going to the restroom when practical. A trip to the mall would likely not be all that long for me so that issue has not come up yet. When going to bars (lgbt) I will have to go because I would be drinking and staying for a long time. Oddly enough I have only used the men?s room. I guess my upbringing makes me uncomfortable going into the women?s room. Anyhow I have probably gone out maybe 50 or 60 times to the 20 bars I have been to around the country. No one has ever said anything. I do always use a stall and sit. My last trip was to Piranha in Vegas and there was a long line. I was wearing my black sequin wrap mini dress. There is no way I would use a urinal. Haha. It was kind of funny actually because when it was my turn I just pointed to the stall.

Sandi

[Krisi]

It has been mentioned, but I want to point it out specifically:

If you are dressed as a woman and using the women's restroom, turn around and sit to do your business. People can see your feet under most stall doors.

[BrendaPDX]

Like most others have said, if you are en femme use the women's restrooms and yes sit, don't stand, it is a different feeling. I like the advice about using the restrooms at the larger store and if they have unisex restrooms use those, that's what I do.

[Cheryl T]

If you are dressed and confident in your presentation use the ladies room.
If you are a little hesitant then use the handicap/family if one is available.
If you are neither then just use the mens room.

My philosophy was always that I'd rather risk the Ire of woman than the homophobia of a man.

I've had a few experiences in the ladies room with women and women with children and they have all been pleasant. But that's just me.

[Helen_Highwater]

One thing about using the ladies facilities is to not have the "I know I shouldn't be here" look. It's probably one of the most important situations where confidence matters. Act as normally as anyone else in there.

And yes, always sit down, and from experience, don't end up with your skirt tucked into the back of your knickers and walk out into a busy store.

[JeanTG]

True story, many years ago (probably around 30), I was at the international airport of my city at the start of a business trip, and needed to go; I was in male mode (I never went out in those days). I had to use a stall, so I sat down and did my business and happened to glance at the feet in the next stall. Nice lady-like feet in open-toe sandals with red polish on the toenails. I was suddenly hit by a wave of panic: oh heck, I've accidentally gone into the ladies'. After I was finished and pulled up my pants, I sat for a long while nervous as can be, looking through the crack in the door waiting for a lull in the washroom traffic to make a beeline for the exit. Finally there was a quiet moment and I flung open the stall door and got set to trot the heck out of there, when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the urinals... I was in the correct washroom all along. I have no idea if my stall neighbour was a cis woman who went to the wrong one, or a member of our sisterhood. But it was a pretty amusing incident once I figured out I was in the right place after all.

As for the topic at hand, I use the washroom that corresponds to my presentation (male or female), but will use the single-use family one if there is one when presenting female. Haven't been out in ages though. In fact haven't dressed in ages. Long story...

[Bruce64]

If you come to Yorkdale Mall in Toronto you can use the Family one, Uni sex one, Any Gender one, Female one, good luck.

[Leslie Langford]

True story, many years ago (probably around 30), I was at the international airport of my city at the start of a business trip, and needed to go; I was in male mode (I never went out in those days). I had to use a stall, so I sat down and did my business and happened to glance at the feet in the next stall. Nice lady-like feet in open-toe sandals with red polish on the toenails. I was suddenly hit by a wave of panic: oh heck, I've accidentally gone into the ladies'. After I was finished and pulled up my pants, I sat for a long while nervous as can be, looking through the crack in the door waiting for a lull in the washroom traffic to make a beeline for the exit. Finally there was a quiet moment and I flung open the stall door and got set to trot the heck out of there, when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the urinals... I was in the correct washroom all along. I have no idea if my stall neighbour was a cis woman who went to the wrong one, or a member of our sisterhood. But it was a pretty amusing incident once I figured out I was in the right place after all.

As for the topic at hand, I use the washroom that corresponds to my presentation (male or female), but will use the single-use family one if there is one when presenting female. Haven't been out in ages though. In fact haven't dressed in ages. Long story...

Great story, Jean. Hope you didn't miss your plane, though, what with the unexpected delay in exiting the (male) restroom as you were waiting for the coast to clear. ;)

[Cheryl T]

Additionally, if you use the ladies room Don't Linger.
Do your business, wash your hands and leave. Don't stay there brushing your hair, touching up your makeup and such especially if you are concerned with how good your appearance is.

[stefjones13]

Thanks for all the input. Was in winners shopping (Canadian equivalent of TJ Max) when the need came. Was in girl mode so used the ladies. Another lady came in just as I got into the stall but she was quick and was gone when I finished. Had an eventful first time out. A bra fitting shopping for a purse. Through a drive thru and the bathroom. A great day

[Amelie]

I haven't been to a mall in over 30 years.

The night clubs I went to anyone could use any bathroom they wanted, so it didn't matter which was used.

Some bars and clubs i went to the bathrooms were dangerous to enter. It was safer to leave the bar and go against a dumpster in the street.

When I was a teen I had an androgynous style of dress, think glitter rock. One day in winter while walking the streets in NYC I had to go badly. I went to Washington park and sat on a bench near the bathroom just to see if anyone went in or out. For ten minutes no one went in or out so I went in the men's room. Inside it was like a party going on. Men were at every stall and some hanging about. Some guy called out to me and I left. I went to the lower east side and peed in an abandoned lot near the burnt out buildings, a lot safer than the bathroom. Sometimes it's safer not to use a bathroom at all.

Nowadays I live in the woods.

[JeanTG]

Hope you didn't miss your plane, though, what with the unexpected delay in exiting the (male) restroom as you were waiting for the coast to clear. ;)

Thanks! Hah, no, I didn't miss my plane! I'm one of those types if I'm 10 minutes early, I consider that I'm late...

And today for the first time since April, I managed to get out to the supermarket and pick up something for supper, while dressed. Masks greatly reduce the required degree of effort to get ready as well as the anxiety when out and about! They're compulsory here and I had no qualms about complying today! Only a 10 minute drive though so I didn't get to use a WC... In fact with the pandemic it's become an issue. Many establishments reserve them for clients only and the supermarket I use, the one washroom (unisex) is now reserved for employees only. You can no longer duck into a restaurant to use the facilities unless you're very stealthy.

[Krisi]

Masks may reduce the anxiety of walking around town as a woman, but the sight of that strange woman walking out your front door, getting into your car and driving away won't be changed by a mask.

[Charlotte Haynes]

The Gents or the disabled. I'm quite strongly against men using the Ladies. If we get some grief from other users, so be it.

[NancySue]

I, mostly use the family facilities, but on a couple occasions, I was desperate. As others have said...get in, wash your hands, and get out..no eye contact, makeup, or smile. Worked for me.

[AngelaYVR]

Just a quick tip some might find useful: if you are using the loo and do not think it prudent to fix yourself up by the sink afterwards, use a compact mirror to do all that while still on the throne.

Up here in Canada it is perfectly legal for us to use whichever toilet but sometimes you have to read the room.

[JeanTG]

Masks may reduce the anxiety of walking around town as a woman, but the sight of that strange woman walking out your front door, getting into your car and driving away won't be changed by a mask.

Luckily, I live in a very rural area with my house set well back from the road and surrounded by forest, and our neighbour's as well. So I can generally get away quite stealthily, especially since I have an attached garage.

[Patience]

Most of my outings up to now have either been short enough that I didn't need to use the restroom or there was a gender neutral restroom in the premises. That's what I look for first.

I'll use the ladies' if there's nobody else there. I have used the men's too, preferably with no one else there.

[mbmeen12]

Which bathroom?
I looked in the search button for you and seen hundreds of posts on this topic so enjoy the reading and what year it was originally posted. The simple answer is; it is based on your country, state etc. Be careful and do your research.

[NicoleRenee]

Is it that way in Oregon too?

[JenniferWhenCD]

For me, using the women's restroom is one of the fun things of going out dressed.

The most nerve racking experience I have had was at a department store when I entered the bathroom only to realize there was a line. No one said anything, we all just stood and waited our turn.