I feel like I'm at a crossroads

[StaceyJane]

Things have gotten tougher in my journey. I have been on HRT for several years and have loved the changes. I'm married to my my best friend friend and really love her despite the changes I have gone through. The problem is She has become very religious in the past few years and has gone from accepting me to trying to get me to stop. She bought me a book written by a person who converted from gay to straight and wanted me to read it. I didn't do that but I have tried to keep things together. I stopped dressing and when my HRT doctor closed her practiced I stopped taking the hormones. Unfortunatly stopping the hormones has made me feel really terrible. The rising testosterone is not how I want to feel about myself. This morning everyone was gone from the house and I got out on of my favorite outfits put on a little makeup and even a spray of my favorite perfume ( it's my favorite because my daughter bought it for me). I felt so wonderful and I really wished that I could just go on living as a woman. I don't really feel I need SRS. Just the hormones plus the ability to live as a woman would be enough.
Now. I have to decide if I want to go back to dressing secretly or try to change my marriage. It's not an easy decision because I still love her and really don't want to leave her.

Stacey

[GaleWarning]

SJ, as the real problem seems to be your wife's religious objections to your new way of life, I cannot offer advice on this thread here. To do so would run counter to the forum rules. Please send me a PM and I will do my best to help you and your wife.
Feel for the two of you!

[Lana Mae]

Sounds to me like there needs to be some clear communication here! Why did she suddenly turn religious? I am a "trans"woman And I am "religious"! Depends on what she has chosen to believe and with that that part ends as no religion on this forum! I think you both need to lay your cards down and talk this out! I am sure others will share their advise as well!Best wishes with all of this! Hugs Lana Mae

[Nadine Spirit]

Sorry to read of your difficulties, that super sucks! I unfortunately have no idea at all what you should do. I know what I would not do, stop HRT. After about 6 months I knew I never wanted to operate on T anymore and made the decision permanent with an orchi in June of 2019. Now at least if there were an apocalypse and I lose access to E, the small amount of T I produce will not be an issue. I could not imagine stopping what I know that my body has to have to please another woman. I know marriages are important, but I think it is important to understand that we can't give up who we are to try and please someone else. All it will really do is to grow bitterness in the marriage. That is not good for anybody. I wish more people could see that nobody is saving a marriage by agreeing to be miserable within it.

[Teresa]

Stacey,
I guess we have to be careful with comments on the religious aspect .

Ok I admit I'm not the most religious person but no matter the important point is to put the love for someone close before anything else . Maybe it poses the question did your wife turn to it to find answers to your domestic situation ? It also appears she's getting some messages wrong by giving you that book , being TG or GAY is not a disease we can find a cure for . Words on a piece of paper do not solve dysphoria needs , you know what it takes but are being denied it , is she being fair ?

Going back to secrecy is a bad alternative , who needs the lies and deceit that can go with it , you health and wellbeing are important , I know what it's like to cease to function , when we no longer serve any useful part in daily life and become a burden , no one wants that .

[Dutchess]

I was born and raised in Waco , Stacey , I totally get it . I wish I had advice but as a cis woman who's lived an alt lifestyle most of her life I left that area right after high school almost 40 years ago . I know the people and that culture all too well .
i know you don't want to break up after everything you have invested . Those conversion books are terrible , try not to pay much attn to it . You two have to have a talk . Seriously .

[Jenny22]

Stacy, get back on your hormones! If she will talk, ask her why (becoming religious) did she change? You need to talk. Your daughter is supportive, so ask her to be with you to lend support when you do. Good luck!