Finally understanding myself

[Gia]

Hi all.
I wanted to share something that recently happened to me and made me feel a lot better around my crossdressing.
A bit of context for those who do not remember my introductory post. I am a closet CD, 27, married to a wonderful wife ( bisexual and the most open mindend person I ever met) and I live in Germany.
So that is what happened. I was talking to my wife during one of my ? guilt trip? moments. I still do not fully accept the fact that I like so much to look like a woman sometimes.
She is really into all the psychology behind sexuality and gender. At some point she asked me ? Have you ever asked yourself whether you might be genderfluid/bigender or not ??.
A new world opened to me. I did not know anything about bigender people and I really find myself in this category. Individuals who have two genders ( non biologically) in them and who like to switch between them.
That would explain a lot why sometimes I want to pass as a very masculine man and other times as a very feminine woman.
It might seems stupid but finding a ? label ? which describes me made me feel more confident in who I am.
In near future we have plans to explore more this new identity of myself; or better the identity I was not aware of.
She does not care at all about which gender I decide to display and that made the happiest man on Earth.
I hope this thread could help somebody else in my situation.
Have a wonderful day and sorry for typos!

[bridget thronton]

You have a smart and insightful wife

[Helen_Highwater]

Gia,

Wonderful that you've been able to gain such insight. Being better able to understand ourselves is an important step. Your wife is a clever person and to be treasured.

[Crissy 107]

Gia, Wonderful to have found that out and at such a young age. Your wife is a keeper for sure!

[Star01]

The more I learn and the more therapy sessions I have the less I understand myself and my fixation on gender. You are very fortunate if you had an ah ha moment and that answered all your questions. This can be a very confusing process for a lot of members myself included. One size as they say does not fit all.

[Stephanie Julianna]

Self acceptance is the first step to self appreciation and love. Your wife sounds like a very insightful and loving person. I was 30 years old before I embraced my femininity. Until then I lived with self destructive guilt. I was raised Catholic and guilt is their go to tool for controlling their congregation. So when I realized that I was truly not a bad peson because of my gender fluidity I finally achieved a level of contentment and happiness that I had never known up to that point. That feeling is marred by my wife's inability to accept that position so I will never know the feeling that you are experiencing with your incredible wife. I am so happy for you.

[kimdl93]

Don?t sweat the typos and forgive my iPad for ? taking the place of apostrophes! It sounds as though your wife has a very good handle on gender variation and an welcome willingness to help you explore and enjoy your discoveries.

[Micki_Finn]

It is sad that people do not know about the existence of this concept. It’s a symptom of western/European society imposing its values around the world. Native Americans called them “Two-Spirit”. In Mexico they were Muxe. In India Hijra. In the Samoas they’re called Faʻafafine. In these ancient cultures, these people were looked on with reverence and respect, and had special roles to fill in the culture and society.

So if you ever have someone tell you they don’t like all these “new” genders you can tell them that bigender people have ALWAYS existed.

[Gia]

Imagine I used to be a quite sexist person.
Now I can not stand this kind of people but I still have to play the part of the 100% alpha male with my family.