Partial crossdressing?

[ZenladyCD5]

I consider myself to be a "partial crossdresser". What I mean by that is that I like to crossdress, but I don't wear makeup, don't wear a wig, don't paint my nails, and a few other things. To me, it just seems so tedious, time consuming, expensive, etc. to do those things. Sorry, but that's just the way I am.
I guess I just like/enjoy wearing the clothes only, but don't want to go "all out" so to speak.
Is there anybody else who is the same way? Where you just want to enjoy the comfort/look of wearing the clothes only and nothing else? I can't possibly be the only one?

[GeorgeA]

Hello,

What you describe is very similar to what we call here a "MIAD"; man in a dress. I am a miad, I spend most of my time dressed in a skirt, nylons & lingerie. And that's it. I have no interest in presenting as a woman. I just enjoy wearing the clothing. No women's shoes, jewellery, makeup, wigs, etc. I only underdress when going out.

You joined the forum a couple of months after I did, so you must have seen numerous discussions on this subject. Yes, there are quite a few of us like that, here, so you are not alone.

Enjoy!

[Steph_CD_62]

ZenladyCD5

No you aren't the only one. I've only worn make-up a couple times, both done by my wife & ex-wife. I have no desire to wear a wig. I don't want to present myself as a woman out in public, but I do go out in public dressed but unless someone really looks they would never notice that I am wearing women's clothing. I do occasionally paint my toe nails, but I have never painted my fingernails.

I just enjoy the feeling of wearing women's clothing. To me the clothes are more comfortable, plus there is a wider selection of styles, colors and fabrics to choose from.

[DianeT]

You are sure not alone doing this. And I wouldn't call this partial crossdressing but simply crossdressing. It comes in all kinds of flavors. I did what you do for a very long time, even if I finally chose to go the "tedious" way as well, at least when I have the time, because that is what I prefer most.

[ZenladyCD5]

You joined the forum a couple of months after I did, so you must have seen numerous discussions on this subject. Yes, there are quite a few of us like that, here, so you are not alone.

Nope, haven't seen many discussions at all. I rarely visit the forums much. Been busy with other life issues.


I just enjoy the feeling of wearing women's clothing. To me the clothes are more comfortable, plus there is a wider selection of styles, colors and fabrics to choose from.

Yep. I totally agree.

[phili]

Hi Zenlady,
I'm another MIAD and advocate of not worrying about being male and wearing clothes normally 'reserved for' females. Many females are not all that keen on transformation dressing to try to match an idealization of female beauty, so we are not alone in that way either!

At first glance people are shocked, but then they see I am a male in a dress, and going about my business normally. People look for magic when a woman wears a dress, as it has deep sexual and social role associations. They feel no magic seeing me, although some young women have expressed a lot of friendly and sincere support- in a way which makes me feel that my liberation liberates them.

The more I go out, the more I feel that persistent public resistance to transformation crossdressing is more about resenting the confusing feelings generated when we are trying to pass, but don't, or trying to be treated 'like a woman' [which means different things to different people, so is an endless complication], than it is about wearing a dress.

I don't mind being a minority within a minority!

[SophyV]

You are definitely not alone. While I have gone full femme before. I am still finding my balance. Like you I find being full femme to be too much like work. As you read more here you will find there are CDers of all degrees. Many of the MIADs here are not as vocal but there are some who contribute and add another level of depth to the conversation.

Phili, I am not brave enough yet to wear a skirt in public in front of anyone I know but thanks for your courage. I think if more of us were that brave we could normalize any gender wearing anything they want.

[Jamie390]

You are definitely not alone. I am another MIAD. I really don't have any desire to wear a wig or makeup or present as a female. I do not own any women's shoes. I do regularly wear women's panties, and I have gone in hotel pools many times wearing a woman's bathing suit, but that is about the extent of my public appearances.

[Teresa]

Zenlady,
To wear the clothes of the opposite gender is still crossdressing but there is a wide spectrum that it covers , also there are no rules . What drives that basic need or want varies from one person to the next , to some it is sexual and a fetish , to others maybe a hobby but along the spectrum GD becomes more of a problem . Just to wear the clothes for some is all they need to satisfy their need , to me the clothes are a window showing my inner feelings , it's not a tedious ,time consuming wasted effort , to achieve a balance with my dysphoria I'm now full time . I'm on part of the spectrum where I've socially transitioned , dressing as a man now feels more like CDing .

I have no problem with your , " Partial crossdressing " but also consider the whole spectrum you are part of , to the RW now I appear as a woman not a crossdresser .

[docrobbysherry]

I have met a number of dressers who simply throw on a dress. With no foundation gear, forms, wig, or even heels!

Including one I met first here on cd.com! We met later at a trans dinner get together at a restaurant.

I must say I find them as interesting as dressers who go all the way, like myself.:hugs:

But, some of my T friends that nite treated her like she had the corona virus!:eek:

[Gillian Gigs]

I checked my crossdressing rule book, and you are safe. Rule number one says that there are no hard fast rules regarding crossdressing.

My CD'ing consists of lingerie, skirts and hosiery. So I'm lazy by some standards, rule number two says, there are no standards, but your own.

[Asew]

I see myself as non-binary, picking and choosing from the genders as I please. So on the femme side I like a lot about the clothes, jewlerly, and shoes, and I grew out my hair, but I don't use wigs, fake boobs, makeup, shave my legs, etc. My go to look is a skirt with a t-shirt or Hawaiian shirt.

[DanielleCD]

Majority of the time I'm just wearing feminine clothing. Tho I have tried makeup... it's hard to do well, and wig, I rarely wear them unless those rare moments come when I have a few days wife free. So we're right there with you... it's just CDing in one form or another.

[jacques]

hello Zenlady,
I am a "partial dresser" - wearing some women's clothing in public.
I am a MIAD in private with makeup and a beard.
stay healthy,
luv J

[Raychel]

Definitely not alone ZenLady

I firmly fit in that group, Never have owned any makeup.
Do own a few wigs, but NEVER wear them.

[Visitor]

I was looking at an LLBean catalogue last evening and lamented the fact most of the colors I love can only be found in women's sizes. My former wife with whom I remain good friends actually bought a women's turtleneck for me a couple of years ago because it was the perfect color. Unfortunately, the cut didn't much work with my broad shoulders, so it remains in the drawer.

I appreciate the many comments that make the simple case... how we do what we do is completely up to us. There is no one size fits all when it comes to crossdressing. There was a time when I experimented with makeup and I have to say my long eyelashes look delicious when my eyes are made up... but I've worn a beard longer than many folks on this website have been alive, and I'm not about to shave. I know Phili does his thing with a beard, but then I remember where he lives... I've attended Gay Pride events in San Fransisco and bending the gender is a regional sport. In fact, the first crossdressers I met were a group of men from San Francisco who attended a museum event I was at with my former wife... number 3 to be exact. Quite a shock to see a man with a full beard in an evening gown.

Trying to pass is not on my radar screen, nor is wearing women's clothes in public. Yes, a brassiere occasionally, but nothing more than that. I'm grateful there is so much freedom to express exactly as we feel inspired to do exists on this website... no pressure to transition or to do anything but enjoy ourselves without shame. I vote for that... I think Dogen would approve... :battingeyelashes:

[Sandra_Dodds]

Although I don't mind adopting a full female persona occasionally, it does take a lot of time and effort so I am content with being "partial" for the majority of the times I get to dress.

I've read all the comments below about being a MIAD but I'm more of a MIAS kind of crossdresser, i.e. a man in a skirt. I much prefer skirts to dresses.

[Jeanettew]

I would be very happy to wear a skirt, stockings and heels ever day where ever i went with male attire waist up, although I have owned Bra's, Blouses and Dress's I would live my life in a skirt, and I don't understand why society would frown if men started doing this

[Sashauk]

I'm sure there are countless numbers of crossdressers who do not do the 'whole thing' - I for one. I wear a bra and panties all the time, and at home indoors always a skirt and top, but if I'm going out it's always male attire.

I have tried using make-up a few times, but never had much success with it. I have poor eyesight so putting on eye make-up without my glasses it pretty much a disaster.

Like others here, I would love to be able to just wear a skirt or dress out in public without it being an issue but I have never had the confidence to do that.

[Liz Jones]

Dresses dont fall down --unlike my kecks (liverpool slang for trousers !)
Liz

[Kay J]

Just do what makes you happy that is what its all about. Who know what tomorrow will bring! I started out just like you! ;)

[Cacique82]

Zen
You definitely are not the only one. I would say I fall into this category. I wear lingerie, blouses/tops, dresses, jeans and heels. I don?t do wigs, makeup, forms. I?m not against any of it I just haven?t turned that corner and not sure I ever will. My wife accepts my current level fully and I?m very happy with where we are.

[Tracy Irving]

As you can see from the replies submitted, crossdressing has nothing to do with presenting as a woman. You found your own comfort level, your own happiness so take out the partial. You are a crossdresser.

[ZenladyCD5]

When it comes to crossdressing, this is about as far as I go. Just two examples of pics of me. Not the best pics to show, but it's all I have at the moment. As you can see, I do love tights. :)

315921
315922

[Mark B]

you are not alone, but there are a lot of us here. Just not as vocal as the "ladies" here. As mentioned there are several levels of what is considered crossdressing. I commute back and forth to work using public transportation wearing skirts and high heels. I've been wearing skirts and high heels for over 3 years now daily at work. I'll wear men's shirts and jackets, along with a tie when necessary. I act the same at work regardless of what I wear. I had a co-worker and he is also a friend tell me that some at work keep waiting for me to start acting more feminine but so far they cannot tell the difference in my actions. Its just clothes to me. I do shave my legs as I have for several decades now as an ex-semi pro bike rider. I have my toe nails painted as my nails are not pretty but I do enjoy wearing open toed heels. I do wear men's thongs under my hose and I don't tuck.

[Visitor]

I appreciate reading this how much dressing in women's garments is more for comfort than anything else, and I'm not talking about how wearing these garments are more comfortable on the body. It is rather an emotional comfort... a soothing that comes with putting on and wearing these garments. I know when I was young putting on lingerie was sexually arousing and my dressing had a very driven quality to it. Now there is still a bit of a sexual tinge to it, but wearing a brassiere for example, which I'm doing as I write this simply makes me feel good... at ease... comforted more than comfortable. The band and cups hold me. I imagine there is an element of that for each of us, regardless of the particular clothing items we're drawn to... dresses, stockings, skirts, blouses, nightgowns, panties. Presenting as a woman is a different thing, likely serving the same purpose... just different. Applying makeup does it for some as well. Whether it is for arousal or feeling comforted, it is all good... no shame in any of it. We do many things to comfort ourselves as humans... for a few of us one of those things is wearing women's clothes...

[Star01]

I'm in a dadt and have a hard time with shopping where I might be recognized and I'm about the furthest one could get from fashionable with my daily blue jeans and pocket t-shirts. I underdress with panties and have been shaved smooth all over for going on twenty years so that is usually the extent of my dressing. I was able to spend a couple nights by myself this week at a lake home and got dressed with makeup and wig. It felt good and I was able to take a few photos but I was thinking that it takes such a long time to get makeup applied and dressed. The lake place is near where the farms meet the northern forest so after getting all dressed up there is really nowhere to go up there. Bars are out of the question wearing a dress in red neck country so the only living creatures that saw me were the loons on the lake and geese by the dock.

[Amandagurl63]

I only dress from the waist down, I love wearing skirts and leggings, heels and sandals. I paint my toenails and with my awesome wife?s support we go out often so you are not alone . Stay thirsty

[Lacey New]

For the most part, I am happy just to be able to spend a day wearing nylon brief panties.

[Ececem]

When it comes to crossdressing, this is about as far as I go. Just two examples of pics of me. Not the best pics to show, but it's all I have at the moment. As you can see, I do love tights. :)



It's a great combination, dear.

[GretchenM]

As Gillian said, the first rule of this behavior is that the rules are like nailing Jello to the wall. We are all different and we all have different needs and different ways to express our feelings and needs to reach a comfortable spot where all the stars are aligned to our liking. Lately I have been dressing every evening but how far it goes varies wildly.

The other night I was feeling really good and I went almost to the max. After I was fully dressed with makeup I realized it wasn't me that evening, so I took everything off and went with a much more simple blend. I found I was much more comfortable that way. I rarely ever go further than about a 70% transformation because, and this may sound funny, it is too much feminine/female. I am usually about a 60% female-like and 40% male-like; sometimes it is the other way around and sometimes the female-like feelings really soar, but rarely does the male-like in me exceed about maybe 60%. And when it does I do not feel right at all.

As Asew put it, some of us are non-binary which, in some ways, is really not classical transgender but in other ways is. That describes me perfectly. We often find ourselves in an in between world and our expression is often mix and match. We can create nice looking outfits that blend the male-like and the female-like because that is the way we view ourselves. You might want to think about that and look deep inside yourself to see if that kind of a characterization fits you. Not that belonging to a class of CDs or TGs makes any difference in the real world, but it can clarify your self definition a bit and make you more comfortable. We all like to classify things into cubby holes even though in the real world there are no cubby holes. In the real world, you just are.

[Brenn]

I think there are a lot of us in that category here. I wear ballet flats (Tieks are my favorite) all the time along with women's jeans and shorts. I also wear tights, leggings and pantyhose depending on the season and situation. All of this completely open and not trying to "pass."

[Paulie Birmingham]

Another miad here, but I very rarely wear dresses. Most ly lingerie. No wn
Wigs, forms, makeup.

There are many here who message me, but rarely post.

[tooshytogoout]

I think you can make the argument that you ARE the crossdresser and those that wear makeup, wigs, etc are "transformers"?

[Visitor]

...We are all different and we all have different needs and different ways to express our feelings and needs to reach a comfortable spot where all the stars are aligned to our liking...

We often find ourselves in an in between world and our expression is often mix and match...

We all like to classify things into cubby holes even though in the real world there are no cubby holes. In the real world, you just are.

Like most of the men here, the first thing I seek is release from shame. I've been crossdressing intermittently for 66 years and the behavior has been always laden with shame and confusion. I'm so grateful that I found this place where men are stepping beyond shame and into acceptance. I need that. Thank you all. But I also am exploring my desire to use women's lingerie to understand what it is all about for me. This is one reason I find threads such as this so helpful. It reminds me I'm not alone in trying to understand what this is all about. That is why I quote the lines above. Thank you Gretchen.

Redirecting my attention from shame allows me to reflect on the roots of this behavior. I wrote this in a private message this morning.


I'm no longer trying to resist the fact I'm drawn to crossdressing, but the trauma work I've been doing is not finished and I'm not in a place simply to celebrate this behavior. I want to be respectful and I have no judgments about this behavior. I simply want to understand it. I'm inclined to believe that it was simply the unique circumstances we encountered when we were young that led each of us in our own unique way to this particular means of soothing ourselves. Though our sexuality is genetically determined, our gender expression is socially influenced and doubtless much affected by the environment in which we grow up. Our development psychologically is most intense during those early years so what we experience in the first years of our lives is invariably carried through the rest of our lives. We certainly can't change any of that, but if we're able to understand both how we come to this particular soothing behavior and have a clear sense of what we need to feel safe and secure in the world, I believe the more driven behaviors can be moderated. That crossdressing can lead to break up of families is less a marker for the need to express femininity than it is to the depth of the feelings that need to be soothed. Crossdressing is simply the means used by this person.

I won't dive into what I'm uncovering, but I have to say, without the experience of being here and allowing myself to wear a woman's garment, I would not have been able to ask these important questions for myself. There are no cubby holes... as Gretchen says, but that doesn't mean we have to go unconscious or act in ways that are destructive for ourselves or the people who love us.

[Jenny22]

I believe it to be an incorrect position ... partial crossdresser. If you wear any type of female clothing, including lingerie, you are a crossdresser!

[Paulie Birmingham]

Good post jenny22.

[Stefanie Taylor]

I always like these posts because I realise there are plenty of others in the same boat as me.

I've got zero chance of passing (unless it's very dark!), But I do have an overwhelming need/urge to wear women's clothes.

I love it that I can wear a skirt, tights and heels and that's all if I want.

You do get the odd funny look, but I think most people either don't notice or care.

Just my $0.02

P.S. I didn't mean JUST a skirt, tights & heels obviously. 😃

[Misty_cder]

For me, I'm clearly a MIAD. I love getting dressed up, have a wife who supports me, but do not dress in front of our children which limits my MIAD time, especially during these "work from home" days. I also underdress, meaning I wear panties all the time and a few other items that you cannot notice under normal men's clothing.

[Lacey]

Hi Zenlady, I too only wear the clothes. Just the other day I went shopping for about 5 hours . About 5 different stores with just women?s low rise flare jeans, a padded bra, long sleeve blouse and black keds. No one gave me a second look. No make up. No wig. With facial hair.

[erica2054]

hi same as me i enjoy dressing up once in a while i will put a wig on = but its more important me to just put on my fem clothes = makes me feel relaxed and happy

[Maria 60]

That's the way I was all my youth, all I had was pantyhose and slips and maybe wear my sisters or mothers skirt now and then. When I got married and found the courage to tell my wife about the dressing it was her who started handing me down her clothes. I remember when she gave me a bunch of her old bras and one day she came home with some panties for me. That was the first time I ever wore these items and never even considered them before. When I some how joined this community and spoke as Maria for the first time was when I considered being more complete and bought a wig, jewelry and make up.
The best thing about this community is that there's real life experiences here and I'm good to give you my experience of what happened to me. I found that once I take the step I can't step back. When I dress I just can't wear pantyhose and a slip now, I can't dress without my wig because it feel wierd now, it's almost all or nothing. I'm not saying I go all out all the time, I'm mostly in the closet I only go for drives once a week that involves mostly driving , putting in gas or air in a tire. When I dress at home I don't put on make up or go really out, but always with a wig but on the drive I want to look more complete in case something happens and I have to present myself as a women.
All I'm saying is try to stay like that ,we are not all the same but for me once I take that step forward it hard to step back.
I wish I could go back, I could tell you I would save a lot of time forsure.

[PetiteDuality]

Well, I'm a MIAD too. After all, who would believe I'm passable?

I did a professional transformation recently. I loved it! But I still don't pass. I'd be more than happy just blending. And no way I will ever acquire the skills of the wonderful makeup artist that worked on me for hours. Happy to do this once in a while. It's really fun!

To dress for myself in the closet (my regular CD activity), I'm happy with the regular MIAD that I get to be...

[Jeri Rene]

I am another that has a wig and forms but most of the time I do not wear. I just wear the clothes for the most part. My daily are non descript womens clothing, jeans tops etc.

[NancySue]

Being both retired and sequestered, I dress totally...daily. With my lovely supportive wife, I?m free to do and wear whatever I want. Because I wear hose, I do shave my legs, etc. Most days, I wear a touch of makeup, mostly eyebrows, eyes, blush and lipstick. Going out is another matter....small, nosey town. When I go out, I?m always underdressed...panties, bra, thigh highs. Bottom line...I?m very comfortable.

[darla_g]

That is the fun part of being a CD there are no rules!

People can underdress, or wear just one article of clothing if they wish be it a dress or a pair of heels
Do what you want.

For me i have go go all out clothing, shaving body, makeup , wig or it just doesn't do it for me. But i am going for my own personal goals

[Rochal Tukque]

Been a long time since I posted. But I couldn?t pass this one up. I found over the last two years of being out this is exactly where I?m at. Neither fish nor fowl, male or female. I found over all being in full femme was just as uncomfortable as full male dress. So my daily dress is a maxi skirt and a shelf bra camisole ? do have my own boobs? slip on guy shoes and sometimes a shirt. Got long hair so no wig or makeup I do have pierced ears. I go everywhere like that. Nobody has ever said anything to me. The girls once in a while will ask where I get my tie dye maxi skirts. LOL I own and am really comfortable in what I wear. So I don?t think most people notice or even care.

[JustineFallow]

In very rare circumstances I can just go with hosiery and panties or something, but I just don't feel as good unless I'm rocking the whole ensemble. For the same reason, maybe, that Bruce Wayne wears the whole shootin' match when he goes out as Batman!

[ellbee]

...I don't wear makeup, don't wear a wig, don't paint my nails, and a few other things. To me, it just seems so tedious, time consuming, expensive, etc. to do those things.

You sound like me! :roflmao:


I fully agree. And not only do plenty of others, but I bet even quite a few GG's! :heehee:


*Most* of the time, I'm like you. Or at least these past several years.

Woke up early today, threw on some panties, work-out leggings, athletic top, lightweight zip-up hoodie & some slip-on Skechers. Went for a navy (color) theme. And I'd be good to go for the rest of the day, like this. Do I look a bit femmy? Sure, especially given the print of the leggings. But as a femmy-looking *guy*. :)


Very comfortable, versatile & easy look. And yes, it can be worn in public, while in guy-mode, should one choose. Though I suppose it may depend on the colors/prints, your confidence, your environment, etc.


The rest of it? Bah! Too much of an expensive & time-consuming hassle. :p

Granted, my body-hair is shaved, but whatever. I tried growing it out not too long ago, but got to the point where I *really* couldn't stand it. Ugh! Off it went. :devil:



However, here's where I may differ a bit...

I have in my gender-expression tool-box, many of the goodies to help create the full-on feminine look, should the desire (or need, even) arise. I don't break out the wigs & war-paint all that often anymore, but I'm grateful that stuff is there at my disposal. Truly a blessing, for my mental & spiritual well-being.

And when I do get all dolled-up? I don't feel it's tedious one bit... At least at that time, anyway. Heck, I take *forever* when it comes to doing my make-up, these days. Part of it is intentional, part of it is just enjoying it all, and part of it is my self-diagnosed ADD, LOL.

Hey, what can I say? Sometimes the whole transformation is *fun!* :GD:


And yes, for the first time in a while, I'll be going full-femme later today. I miss it! This time is partly a need, and partly just a desire.

Plus, I bought a new wig a while back, yet haven't worn it while all gussied-up! Definitely want to see how that looks. :battingeyelashes:


So, I'm *mainly* a MIAL... Man In A (pair of) Leggings. :wave2:

However, I'm also quite aware of the importance of how all the traditionally-femmy stuff can play a vital role in my personal situation, as well.


But for the most part? Have fun with it all! There's a million & one ways to do the "guy-mode" dressing thing... Completely femme outfit, mix-&-match guy & girl clothes, etc. Heck, simply wear a pair of pink women's running shoes with an otherwise guy-outfit! :thumbsup:


All good, my brothers & sisters. :)

[Marianne S]

Hi Zenlady,

What you posted raised some interesting questions in my mind about MIADs in general.

Just because you don't wear makeup and a wig and all the other fripperies, I wouldn't personally consider what you've described on this thread to be "partial" crossdressing. At home I do much the same myself. Admittedly, I do normally slip on a wig, earrings and a couple of other items of jewelry. But they hardly take a moment, while makeup, nails, and shaving arms and legs (or bleaching them as I've often done) take time, so I usually skip those chores.

Many years ago in the old Tapestry magazine I recall an article titled "The Lazy Transvestite." It was about many crossdressers, usually older, who got a little tired of all the work involved in transforming themselves. Just like you and me. So they became minimalists.

More important, we're doing just as much as any woman might do on occasions when she was staying home and couldn't be bothered with all those extras. She wouldn't need makeup, shaving or a wig, because her face, skin and hair already look feminine without them. All she'd need is to slip on a bra and panties, a dress, or a skirt and blouse or sweater, pants and top or whatever--maybe tights just as you like, and a pair of shoes--and she's ready to go. Nobody could say she's not "fully dressed"!

Viewed that way, I certainly see what I do to be "full" crossdressing, not partial. The same goes for you. It's nice to think I only need to do what any woman might do: hook up a bra and slide into panties, a slip (I like to wear a slip), a skirt and blouse and so forth, and hey presto! I'm a woman "just like her"; I'm Marianne.

That leads me to the next issue. Although I'm primarily male and comfortable with being so, I've never counted myself a MIAD, because I do like to see myself as a woman when I crossdress, not as a man. I dress because I enjoy wearing female clothes, yes, but that's also part and parcel of the wish to experience and express a feminine gender identity. Female clothes support the expression of that feminine identity; or rather, that feminine part of my total identity that I'm expressing at a given time.

Conversely, when I'm in male mode I just wear male clothing. Unlike some, I prefer not to mix the two together. I don't "underdress" in panties for instance, as many do--some with a bra as well. I see myself as having "dual gender identities," switching between the two, but on the whole I prefer to keep them separate and distinct.

Now I do, in a literal sense, "partially" crossdress at times. That's to say, I'll just toss on a skirt and panties to wear around the house, and that's all. But that's only a "feminine version" of what I would otherwise be wearing in male mode: cargo shorts and Jockeys. (It gets hot here in Phoenix, and some of the time I'm walking around with nothing on at all.)

I also admit, as I'm sure Gretchen would do, that the question of "what gender am I right now?" is not necessarily in my head at all. Often, no matter what I'm wearing, I'm just "being me"--whoever "I" may be! As Sigmund Freud is alleged to have said: "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." In the same way, "sometimes clothes are just clothes" and nothing else. They're whatever we happen to feel like wearing at a given time, irrespective of gender considerations.

In spite of that, I must add that sometimes if I'm sitting around in just a skirt and panties, I "feel feminine" and start feeling the need for a bra as well. Naturally a blouse follows, and a couple of other items, and there I am fully crossdressed as a woman.

The reason I'm saying all this is that it wasn't entirely clear to me whether you would identify with the term "MIAD" or not. Do women's clothes have "gender significance" to you, or are they purely a matter of styles, colors and fabrics and nothing else?

The key question is whether, like me, you like to see yourself as a woman when you crossdress, or still as a man? A WIAD or a MIAD?

Despite what you said in your second post on this thread, one reason this wasn't clear to me was the apparent significance of your name.

We choose to call ourselves certain names here that were not our "given" names: literally, names that were "given" to us by our parents--whether we like them or not! For some like yourself, they're just "handles" we use for anonymity on a message board, which are quite different from any name we use in our private lives. In French, unlike English, people ask, not "What is your name?" but Comment vous appelez-vous?"--literally, "How do you call yourself? and the answer is "Je m'appelle Pierre" (or whatever). Literally, "I call myself 'Peter'!" (And I "rock"! Others may call me what they will, but that's what I call myself!) In the same way, what we "call ourselves" is a choice.

Most people here, like myself, have at least some degree of feminine gender identity, and have a "femme name" we've chosen for ourselves. It actually surprised me to discover that not everybody does this automatically--we're all very different here!--but when we do this, it's not usually because anyone "told" us we ought to. Rather, I'm sure the need occurs to most crossdressers quite spontaneously, as it did to me. If my dressing served the purpose of expressing feminine gender identity, it felt as incongruous to "wear" my male name as it would to wear steel-toed workboots along with nylons and a skirt! So of course I needed a female name to match the rest of my outfit.

So your own "handle" was one of two things that aroused my curiosity, because it's ambiguous in my mind. You "call yourself" "Zenlady." Does this imply some degree of feminine identification associated with your crossdressing? I wonder if you have a "secret" female name. If so, would you still call yourself a MIAD?

Not that it matters either way! We're all welcome here, no matter who we are. But it prompted one of two fundamental questions in my mind:


Does a MIAD have a "femme name"--or want one?

I imagine the answer is No! If anyone identifies exclusively as a male, regardless of what clothes he wears, what need would he have for a female name? Though I'd be interested to hear from anyone about this.

I do still think that certain clothes have an "essential" femininity, for reasons I won't explore here--though I could cite "delicate fabrics," "flow," and "display" among other qualities. Yet I can imagine how anyone might appreciate and enjoy these qualities in an abstract, "aesthetic" sense, devoid of any association with gender, sexuality, or fetishism--while remaining unalterably male. After all, any man might look at a woman and think "What a beautiful dress!"--even if it's on someone else and he doesn't want to wear it himself. I admit I myself see women wearing dresses--typically with wonderful, bold colors and patterns--and think "Wouldn't I love to wear that?" without automatically thinking "Would I have to be a woman to do so?"

Still, returning to the topic of names, I'm pretty sure we have at least one MIAD on this board who originally registered with a female-sounding name, seeming "appropriately" feminine for the site, and after feeling comfortable here subsequently changed it to a different name sounding less feminine. What need does a MIAD have for a female name?

My second fundamental question out of curiosity is


Does a MIAD wear a bra?

Again, I suspect the answer is No! I know more than one MIAD on this board has said he doesn't. And to me, as to many others, the bra is more "fundamentally feminine" than any other garment I can think of. A skirt or tights or frills may be symbolic of femininity in our present culture, but they have been worn by males in other times and places. Panties may be erotic and intimately sexual, but they're still only underwear. But the whole purpose of a bra is to accentuate the female figure, and for a crossdresser, to help transform his male body shape into that of a woman. If he wants to, that is. What need would a MIAD have for a bra, if he has no wish to see himself as a woman? Except possibly as an means to "pass" wearing a dress in public. Though again, I'd be interested to hear from anyone about this too.

In your photos, it looks as if you're wearing a bra. Although--I hope you'll forgive me--you might have naturally plump breasts. So again, I can't help wondering whether you really would identify as a MIAD, with no feminine identity--which is fine--or simply as a "lazy crossdresser" as in that old Tapestry magazine: still with a yen to be a woman at times, merely shirking the effort it takes.

It doesn't matter either way. But if my impertinent curiosity helps you or anyone else to "find themselves," I hope it serves a purpose. All the best to you!

[French]

I'd just love to be able to wear a soft comfy shirt, womens stretchy jeans, and a pair of flats. Just simple and comfy, that's all i want to do.

[Taylor186]

The vast majority of my crossdressing (98+%) today is partial dressing as you have described it. This was the only kind of dressing I did for the first forty years other that one-offs for Halloween. I didn't own a wig or makeup or have a female name, and didn't see the need until I joined a social/support group. Their rule was "all or nothing" dressing meaning no partial female presentations. I got with the program, bought a lot of clothing, accessories, makeup, etc. for a full presentation. I enjoyed my time in the group and met a lot of interesting people, but at some point I decided the extra hours of prep every month off-set the enjoyment. After a few years I dropped out and fell back to partial dressing, mostly. Once or twice a year I go out fully dressed, but that is all. I don't consider myself as a MIAD though, as I never wear a dress. If I'm out partially dressed today I'm only comfortable wearing something more stealth or non-binary and not something as obvious as a dress or skirt or bra with forms.

[Stephanie47]

From the responses it is obvious the comfort zones vary immensely. The question that arises in my mind is whether the partial dressing within the home would be carried outside the home? From postings I see there are some, but, it appears that is a very small minority.

[Breeheels]

I pretty much wear full lingerie under my boy cloths daily.

[Angie G]

I don't always wear makeup or nail polish. I need to go out to the store, walk the dog, have grandkid over so I can't always go all out. I do wear lipstick quite a bit.:hugs:
Angie

[Paulie Birmingham]

Does a miad have female name?

I had a rather dumb but sexy fwb who couldn't remember my name and used to call me paulie. So I adopted that name when I didn't want to use my real name

Does a miad wear a bra.

I am a very alpha Male in a mostly alpha mail job. I've negotiated a 60 million dollar deal wearing an expensive suit over very expensive panties and pantyhose. It can be a stressful life. I am.usually dominant in the bedroom with the ladies and wife. Sometimes, I just want to.be submissive and let my wife take over. I sometimes enjoy the submissive husband porn and sometimes they are dressed in bras. So sometimes (very rarly actually) I wear a bra to emulate the sissy crossdresser. Not sure why the crossdresser wear a bra, but for me it's not got anything to.do with wanting to be a lady. Now my wife will indulge me from time to time and dominate me, but I haven't worn a bra yet. She still thinks it's kind of weird. Lol. But I am.happy and life is still good.