My dad saw.....

[Kimberly A.]

Hey y'all! :)

Well first of all, today is my birthday, I'm 37! WOO HOO!! LOL Anyway, my dad came over just little bit ago to wish me happy birthday and hand me a birthday card and Walmart gift card..... Although I wasn't really expecting him to come over, I was still in full "male mode", but my dad saw my pierced ears, (I still have the starter studs in, because it's only been a little over 3 weeks since I got my ears pierced) and he goes, "Wth?!" Then of course, in his judgmental mind, he assumed that I turned gay, which is NOT true..... Smh. But please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying at all that there's anything wrong with people who are gay, I'm just not. My dad is VERY judgmental and bigoted and I'm glad I'm not that way. He knows I'm not gay, but he'll still assume that, for some reason. He would really think that I am if he knew that I'm a CD'er and that's why I have to keep it hidden from family

Just thought I would share this with y'all. :)

[Angie G]

My dad did a little dressing so i think it would not have bothered him knowing.:hugs:
Angie

[Stephanie47]

I think there has been progress in this country towards acceptance of sexual identity and sexual orientation, but, not as much as people think. I have seen a lot of "political correctness." When people mingling among like minded individuals that is when their truth feelings are displayed.

I am a child of the 1960's. Back then it was assumed any man who wore women's clothing was a homosexual. Homosexuality was not accepted. My parents were homophobic. I know they suspected I wore my mother's clothing and tried to catch me in the act. If I had been caught I am fairly sure I would have been thrown out of the house. I graduated high school when I was still seventeen. Early military service would have been in my future.

Kimberly, what do you think your dad's reaction would be if he found out you are a cross dresser?

[Kimberly A.]

Stephanie, I was born 37 years ago today, in 1983, my parents are in their 60s and of course, they were raised like you were..... To be homophobic and not accepting of anything even remotely homosexual, such as men wearing women's clothes and vice-versa and that's what is drilled into my dad's mind. But if my dad brings up my ears being pierced again, I'll ask him, "Are you not a fan of classic rock, more specifically Aerosmith? And even Steven Tyler has earrings and he's not gay". LOL

But to answer your question..... If my dad found out that I'm a crossdresser, he would for sure call me the "Q" or "F" word, (I hope you know what I mean, I will not type those words here) and he would probably never speak to me again.

[Amy Lynn3]

As a father myself if any of my children wanted to share that type information with me, I feel my mindset would be, to assure them it it an honor they shared that with me. Most importantly I would want them to know it changes nothing and my love is just as strong as ever for them.

Kim, put the ball back in Dad's corner. Next time it he has a snarky remark about your ears, ask him does that mean you don't love me any more ? That might adjust his thinking ... who knows ?

[DianeT]

Happy birthday Kimberly!

[Jenny22]

Happy Birthday, Kimberly!! I can only wish you the best!

[Visitor]

Happy birthday from another Libran. The board needs every Libran it can get... we're BALANCED... :tongueout

[char GG]

I guess he would have seen sooner or later, Kim.

Happy birthday:bw:

[Judy-Somthing]

My mother, brothers, and sisters knew I liked to dress up but I don't know if my farther ever knew.

My mother said it was just a phase! Little dose she know the phase hasn't ended.

[Dutchess]

Happy Birthday Kimberly ,, you share one with ....me !! Yes thats right lol .. Except I debuted in 1962 ..
I had my first child in 1983 though . Time sure does fly , That son and the ones born in 86 , 87 ad 93 all have pierced ears . They are no where NEAR gay and dont dress as far as I know . I wont even go out with anyone that does not at least have one pierced ear so ... you're cool .

Have a great birthday !

[xam]

Happy birthday :bday:

[Shely]

Happy Birthday Kimberly, hope you get something nice, maybe a lace bra. Mine is Sunday, there must be something strange with the month of October. I have both ears pierced and I am sure some friends wonder what's up, but I do notice other guys here and there with both ears pierced. I really do love the feel of dangling earrings. I doubt my dad would have been too keen on it, but he was really old school. Anyway that's my $.02

[Tammy P.]

If I read this correctly we should be saying Happy Birthday to both Kimberly and Dutchess.
Happy Birthday

[Di]

Happy Birthday Kimberly :)
Kimberly you over think things .....pierced ears are common on guys ....you worry too much .
Hope you had a great bday

Dutchess Happy Birthday!
Hope is was grand :)

[Frannie7]

Happy Birthday, Kimberly. Oh to be 37 again.

[richelle52]

Happy Birthday Kimberly 🎂🍻👄🙋*♀️

[bridget thronton]

Happy birthday

[rachel_rachel]

First time my dad saw my ears pierced he did say something.. I told my parents that if my two boys got their left ears done I’d do both mine.. so I did. Plus I wanted to wear big hoops without them being clip ons

[Robbin_Sinclair]

I wonder how many non-gay Cders might be feel better just lying to a person like dear old dad and say that he was gay. It would allow people to pigeonhole the person to something understandable and be done with it. Or maybe it would be easier to just accept that some of us don’t really give a ... if it is called gay, bi, cd or something else.

I saw a documentary produced by an English company that examined the men fighting in the two world wars who had sexual encounters with men. The gist of it was to examine the lengths gay men had to go to live in Britain during the Oscar Wilde period and afterwards. The conclusion was that men had no trouble with being with a man, sometimes for money and sometimes just because. Moreover, a conclusion was this psychological identification of gay, straight and possibly something else is not necessarily the way to look at life. History of all cultures shows otherwise, for sure.

“Life is a banquet and most poor beggars are starving.” Auntie Mame

[Kimberly A.]

Kim, put the ball back in Dad's corner. Next time it he has a snarky remark about your ears, ask him does that mean you don't love me any more ? That might adjust his thinking ... who knows ?

I totally understand that, Amy..... Yeah, I might try saying that to him the next time he says something about my ears. Or, I can say that Steven Tyler has earrings and wears makeup on stage, but he's not gay. LOL
I just Google'd "rock stars with earrings" and guess whose pic was one of the first to pop up? Steven Tyler's pics. LOL Well, my dad is a fan of classic rock as well as Aerosmith. LOL

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Thank you all SO much for the birthday wishes, it means a lot! :) This really is a great group of people we have here!

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Thank you, Visitor for the birthday wishes but I don't follow my Zodiac sign or horoscope at all..... I could really care less about that. LOL

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My mother said it was just a phase! Little dose she know the phase hasn't ended.

LOL Cool, Judy! :)

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That's cool, Dutchess and thank you! :)

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Thank you, Shely. :) I totally understand that, my dad doesn't seem too keen on me having my ears pierced but oh well, it's not his ears. LOL
Also, I needed a new wallet for male mode, so I bought a wallet with my gift card..... I still have some money left on it, but I don't know what else I'll buy with it. LOL

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Happy Birthday Kimberly :)
Kimberly you over think things .....pierced ears are common on guys ....you worry too much .

Thank you, Di. :) Yes, I suppose you're right about that. LOL

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That's very cool, Rachel. :)

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I totally agree, Robbin and that's very interesting. :)

[docrobbysherry]

Happy BDay, Kim! You're older than my daughter. But, just barely!:heehee:

[Kimberly A.]

Thank you, Doc! :) Oh, that's cool.

[CharlotteCD]

I will normally let things pass as I type on a phone and make a million errors, but it's "Couldn't care less" btw, and not could care less. The latter implies you do care. The former is that you don't, and it's the last thing in the world you'd care about :)

Back to topic though, I would love to get my ears done. I wanted it when I was about 13/14 but I couldn't get up the courage to ask my parents. It would seem a bit odd to do it now.

[suzanne]

You're thirty seven years old. You've been an adult for sixteen years. Beyond saying a few nasty things, what can the bigoted SOB do to you? Ok, ive been liberated from my bigoted SOB for over 40 years, it might not be so easy for you. But I think you're not answerable to him or anyone else.

[Rileyaz]

I can see it now. "Dad, I'm a crossdresser." Dad responds "Thank God. I thought you were gay!"

[Vickie_CDTV]

First, don't take the studs out. I had mine done 6 months ago, took one out and then it closed up almost immediately. So now I am stuck with one earring for now.

Personally, I don't like questions. I usually put my hair down to hide them from family members. I know my father would give me grief about it (he don't see each other much anymore and we don't like each other much anyway.) Yes other men have earrings, but they are usually either young, old and did it decades ago and people are used to it, or they are rock stars. Might seem odd for a middle aged man to have it suddenly done.

[CynthiaD]

My dad did a little dressing so i think it would not have bothered him knowing.:hugs:
Angie

I found my dad?s stash once. I was about 12. He made some lame excuse, but even then I knew it was a lie. And then a couple of weeks later I got caught with my mother?s slip ... (Nothing was ever said about it.)

[Virgin1A]

Strangely, I was prepared for my Dad to see that I had pierced my ears but couldn't face my Mum. I waited until she had passed away before taking this much, longed-for step. Back in the wild 80s I had my hair permed a few times. Mum ascribed this "behaviour" to a temporary mental breakdown. I'm pretty sure that neither of them knew that I was a CD before they passed but definitely thought I was a little odd.

[cindylouho]

Happy Birthday Kimberly! Only 37 huh? You lucky girl you, so much time left to explore and discover. I wish you joy and love on your journey.

[Bea_]

Funny now, but my forty-something son asked to get his ears pierced at sixteen because a girlfriend liked the idea. I didn't dress back then and really had no opinion on the matter. But, my wife was very much against the idea of a man having his ears pierced.

Since he was not yet an adult, and in deference to my wife, my joking response was "Fine, as long as I get to pierce them." I then explained that he could do what he wanted when he turned 18 and only had a year and a half to go. He did get one or both pierced, I don't remember, right after his eighteenth birthday and wore it/them for a short while before letting the holes close off and never looked back.

I haven't really considered having my ears pierced and I'd guess my wife would still be against it. I'm kinda ambivalent about the idea so it's not worth the hassle to fight for something I really am not sure about. I think everyone I know would notice at first and then just let it go. Since my hair is down to my shoulder blades, it wouldn't be much of a step for most people to adjust. Who knows.

I was thirty-nine years old, with teenagers of my own, when my father passed in 1995. I went through the disapproval of my hair after I graduated high school in 1974. I got married that year and let it grow down to the middle of my back and my dad adjusted. That was the hippie days of the seventies and not a 'feminine' thing to do at all. I never really considered whether he'd like it or not. He didn't. But, he didn't pay my bills and I was always independent. That was at eighteen. In my thirties, my dad and I had a good relationship and he never really questioned much of anything I did. We had a mutual respect for each other.

I'd say that as long as you are respectful of your father in everything else, getting your ears pierced is a non-issue. In fact, I can see that he may eventually respect your more if you maintain your own standards rather than worrying about his opinion.

I don't know what my opinion is worth, but that's pretty much it... Best of everything to you.

ps... You could always use the Morgan Freeman excuse...

Freeman also answers a question he gets asked all the time: what’s the story behind the two gold hoop earrings he wears? The actor writes: “The truth is, these are worth just enough for someone to buy me a coffin if I die in a strange place. That’s why sailors used to wear them and that’s why I do.” (https://2paragraphs.com/2019/05/morgan-freeman-reveals-why-he-wears-2-gold-hoop-earrings/)

[Alice Torn]

If my late father had found out, it wouldnot have been nice after it! If my bigoted brothers or my sister found out now, it would be hell for me, too. I thinkmy brother thinks i may be gay for decades, because i am quiet and gentle mostly,and i have never had a girlfriend , in his thinking, but i have had many dates, when i lived 2000 miles from here, but no dates here in this small town midwest, the bachelors graveyard, i have had no dating life. If he found out I cd, i could never be around him ever again.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I Back to topic though, I would love to get my ears done. I wanted it when I was about 13/14 but I couldn't get up the courage to ask my parents. It would seem a bit odd to do it now.

The only time I really want my ears pierced is after a long day wearing painful clip-ons. But, I have the excuse all ready, "I'm having a )late) mid-life crisis."



Happy BDay, Kim! You're older than my daughter. But, just barely!

My daughter is actually older than than both your daughters, but just by a hair. She's actually a Halloween baby.

[Michelle_G]

Happy Birthday!

[suzanne]

You're 37. You're an adult and at a distinct advantage if your dad wants to physically assault you. What do you have to worry about? You can, at any time, respond to his hate rhetoric by saying something like, "You need to stop, and if you don't, you're not welcome in my home any more. Respect for me is my price for continuing this relationship."

Blood relative or not, some people are negatives in your life and you are better off without them. My father was verbally and emotionally abusive to me, so I left over 40 years ago, and that's without my crossdressing having been revealed. If he knew about that, our relationship would be even worse, if you can even imagine how it goes below zero. But when I did live with him, he believed that his children owed him for raising them, because he owed his father although he resented him. He has been lied to, and I'm breaking that cycle. If your father is toxic to you, he doesn't deserve to be in your life.