What does it mean to "feel like a woman"?

[Jodie_Lynn]

I keep seeing threads and posts where people say "doing such-and-such" or "wearing this-and-that" make me "feel like a woman".

So I am extremely curious as to what that actually means to different individuals. AND what it is that makes the various posters think that they know what a woman feels and thinks.

Is it projection? Some intuitive knowledge? Is it wishful thinking/fantasy? Or is it some form of societal conditioning that enables someone to "know" how the opposite gender thinks. feels, and reacts to situations?

What is it that makes an AMAB think they know what being a woman is all about?

[Robertacd]

How I feel being TG is hard to explain. I believe feel like a woman all the time, but from discussing this with my wife, I don't really know how a GG feels.

Probably the closest I have ever felt is the time I had some unwanted advances from a GM, I felt vulnerable and afraid. I was lucky my GG friends were paying attention and chased him off while I was using the ladies room.

[Leslie Mary S]

To "feel like a woman" to me means that I am getting the sensation that, in my simple mind, is what I think a woman feels.

[Helen_Highwater]

We can never know as CD's what is like to truly feel as a woman would. What we can experience is partly the temporary loss of being macho, a change in our behaviours such as mannerisms, walk etc and feeling that we're the person we truly are.

[Teresa]

Jodie,
As I said in Sherry's thread we can't possibly know what it's like to be any other person irrespective of gender .

Look at it from a different angle and ask what does a uniform do for a person , they adopt the behaviour expected of them and the training they have received to do the job designated by that uniform . They may look like a soldier , they are still the same person but they know what it feels like to be a soldier , nowdays of course women also experience that .

I'm not suggesting female clothes are a uniform , we all wear them for slightly different reasons depending how our brain is wired which is the difference to wearing a uniform as part of a job .

The bottom line is the clothes satisfy something in our brains , we feel more female , we hopefully look more female but we can't know what it's like to be a woman only how it feels to wear womens items . I can only speak from a personal perspective as a TG , the answer I'm sure would be totally different from a post op TS .

[Cheryl T]

I have no idea what it "feels like to be a woman".
I only know that nearly all the time I feel feminine and I don't know that I can even explain that. But I feel that way and I'm most comfortable with myself and with the world when what I wear matches that feeling. It doesn't mean I'm in dresses and skirts all the time because I'm not.
I was out with my wife once and she suddenly made the comment "you act very feminine". I just as quickly replied "I'm not acting".

[CharlotteCD]

I think that the expression feeling like a "woman" is actually feeling totally feminine. A big difference, as we can't truly know what it is like to feel like a woman, but we can feel totally feminine as per societies definition.

[CynthiaD]

As I said in another thread, I’m female all the time. It’s not really a feeling so much as an intellectual acknowledgement.

I don’t know what it means to feel like a woman, but I know what it means to feel feminine:

Work boots and bib overalls — NOT feminine,

Champagne-colored evening gown with sequins and nude heels — VERY feminine.

I own just one of these outfits. Guess which one.

[Paulie Birmingham]

There is a broad range of gg women's personalities, traits, behaviors, looks, etc. I would imagine that they dont all feel the same about anything.

[Jodie_Lynn]

@Teresa has nailed it ( somewhat ) we hopefully look more female but we can't know what it's like to be a woman only how it feels to wear womens items

YOU ( general, generic 'you' ), as a crossdresser, can claim to feel feminine in your frills. and lace; BUT, how many GG's either wear their underwear as a matter of course, or actually HATE having to wear restrictive, tight garments that society states they should wear?

I have to say, as a trans-woman, living 24/7, the first thing I do when I get home from work, is to take off my bra!

So, if we ignore the clothing, what is it that makes you folk "feel like a woman"? And why?

[AngelaYVR]

Let’s, for a moment, turn this question around. What does it feel like to be a man? I honestly can’t answer that. To me, it’s just existing. I can tell you what it’s like when I’m being especially masculine. And in the same vein, I can tell you when I’m feeling especially feminine. I think the majority of members mean feminine when they say they feel like a woman but either way, I think most people implicitly understand what they are trying to communicate.

Wives, however, always know what men [their husbands] are thinking so they have an advantage.

[mbmeen12]

What does it feel like to be a man? The man is in the window, whistling at the pretty woman walking down the street.


What does it mean to "feel like a woman" The woman is secretly thinking "hmm nice butt".

In closing, follow the science....

[SaraLin]

So, if we ignore the clothing, what is it that makes you folk "feel like a woman"? And why?

To shamelessly mutilate Descartes' famous phrase: I feel, therefore I dress.

With me, the sense of gender is rooted in my soul. The outward behavior is a reflection of that truth.

[Teresa]

Jodie,
Good point about ignoring the clothing . I had to rush down to my builder's merchant , I had a black rather scruffy V neck Tshirt on and a pair of women's black work trousers , also women's work boots , light makeup and my old wig . Despite what I looked like I got called " Madam " twice by two different SAs , all they saw was blond hair and boobs and put 2 + 2 together and came up with female , lets put it this way I felt more of a woman than a man !

[Crissy 107]

Interesting question, since most of us were born GM’s there would be no true way to “feel like a woman” in the exact sense. I do think we can feel feminine and that can vary from member to member. Some of us can dress to the nines anytime they please but others for whatever reason cannot and are content with whatever amount of feminine clothing, makeup, going out dressed, participating in predominantly female things like knitting or sewing etc. that they can.
So my answer is no to ever feeling like a woman since we started different and are different but we can definitely feel feminine and each of us can use their own imagination.

[KimberlyJean]

Feeling is the sense of touch, pantyhose on my shaved legs "feels" exactly like it does on anyone else's shaved legs. Feelings as emotions are unique to each individual person male or female.

[kimdl93]

As Chrissy said, its not really possible for person born and probably raised as a male to literally feel like a woman. In my case, when I present as a woman (no matter what anyone else sees) I feel that my appearance conforms more closely with my gender identity. A glance in the mirror, and there I am.

SaraLin put a nice literary spin on the concept :) Thank goodness, I didn’t wake up this morning feeling like a cockroach!

[Becoming Brianna]

I really don't think we as AMAB people truly "know" what it's like to be a woman or what it is to "feel like" a woman. I've even heard a good number trans people say it and it messes with my head as I near making a decision on HRT. One of the questions I ask myself is "Do I feel enough like a woman to medically transition?" My headspace is very feminine. The way I interact with and perceive the world seems more in keeping with women. I feel that I am a woman and I identify as such. But is that enough? With such a big decision I find myself waiting to be 100% sure I'm ready and I just can't seem to bring myself there and I'm just not sure why. I'm working through it with my therapist but I think the answer is that I just feel inadequate next to cisgender women. I know I'm not the same as them and that makes me feel like I'm not and will never truly be a real woman. My therapist says that I need to figure out how to get past that and see myself for the woman I am but I'm just not sure how.

[GretchenM]

I largely agree with Teresa's way of characterizing this sense of feeling like a woman. I add that women very likely do not feel alike in any specific way - they, like men, are individuals and generalizing it is nothing more than stereotyping. There probably are some feelings that are in common to all women as there probably is for all men. But if one cannot actually sense or measure the intangibility of feelings, how would one ever know that is true or false? That is an assumption that cannot be proven.

Each of us just "IS" whoever we are. We can get a general sense of what someone else feels like and that allows such things as sympathy and empathy to exist, but that sense of their feeling is actually a recognition that most all people feel about things in a somewhat similar way. That is also just a generalization based on how you would feel in the same situation. That is not the same thing as knowing how someone else actually feels. When we say, "I know how you feel" what we are actually saying is "Under the same circumstances, what I would feel might be similar to what you are feeling because we are each humans and we have similar behavior and thought patterns, but I really can't KNOW exactly how you feel. Nevertheless, we can emotionally connect to at least some extent. We are all unique, but we still have commonalities that allow us to feel GENERALLY similar in some ways." Just refrain from thinking that similarity is fact.

[NancySue]

My wife and I have talked about this, more or less comparing notes. Bottom line, I don?t have a clue. Likewise, neither does she have any understanding how or why wearing women?s clothes would make me feel like a female. I look forward to shaving my legs to slip on some nylons. She hasn?t worn hose for a long time. To her, they?re a nuisance and certainly don?t make her feel feminine. Same with underwire bras. I love them. She hates them. Having read the book Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, which I recommend, we think almost totally differently.

[Tracy Irving]

I don't think putting on women's clothing makes me feel any more a woman than a woman taking off her clothes feels any less.

[Visitor]

Appreciate this conversation as I'm exploring the inside of this experience, trying to understand how it all unfolds in me. My exploration is a bit inspired by the fact I'm living with gynecomastia that with time has produced breasts that actually fill the C cup of my brassiere. I'm not fantasizing about having breasts, I actually have them. And I like them. This whole self-acceptance experience leads to both behaviors and thoughts I'd not entertained during my crossdressing experiences. First of all, I'm not trying to be a woman. I know I'm a man and I also know I have breasts that in the past were a source of embarrassment for me. Without the shame, I can simply be who I am. There are many layers to that experience, some erotic, some comforting. I wonder if this is what folks who identify as non-binary experience... not being bound my genital apparatus, not needing to change anything... but rather allowing it all to be without judgment. It is liberating in one way because I don't need to know what it is like to be a woman. I only need to honor who I am, how I am, how I express myself in the world. My two cents for this fine conversation.

[Aunt Kelly]

I know I'm not the same as them and that makes me feel like I'm not and will never truly be a real woman. My therapist says that I need to figure out how to get past that and see myself for the woman I am but I'm just not sure how.
Oh, dear... Perhaps this should be it's own thread, but I'll risk it. :)
Brianna, you are the same as them where it counts the most, and for that reason alone, you deserve to be able to live authentically, as the woman you are. All the things we might do, or not do, to align our bodies with our sense of self don't change that identity. CIS women who have battled cancer to a draw, for example, don't become less of a woman because of the loss of a uterus or breast, even though such feelings are often associated with such outcomes. They are still women. By the same token, those of us born with the wrong set of chromosomes aren't any less the woman for it. If you want medical intervention to correct that, why should you deny yourself that?

[IamWren]

Work boots and bib overalls ? NOT feminine,
I?m not sure I would necessarily agree with that.
These workboots and overalls are looking pretty feminine to me.
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Oh, dear... Perhaps this should be it's own thread, but I'll risk it. :)
Brianna, you are the same as them where it counts the most, and for that reason alone, you deserve to be able to live authentically, as the woman you are. All the things we might do, or not do, to align our bodies with our sense of self don't change that identity. CIS women who have battled cancer to a draw, for example, don't become less of a woman because of the loss of a uterus or breast, even though such feelings are often associated with such outcomes. They are still women. By the same token, those of us born with the wrong set of chromosomes aren't any less the woman for it. If you want medical intervention to correct that, why should you deny yourself that?
I see your previous touche Kelly with a toosh. :)
As I was reading the comments I thought the same thing about women who have lost body parts to cancer or other reasons that removed them. I’m sure all here would agree that doesn’t make them any less a woman.

And although, my response above with the overalls is posted somewhat in jest, there is truth in it. I wore a modified tuxedo to a formal dinner last year and was surprised at the number of compliments I received (four from cis-women) on how bold the choice was to wear a tuxedo yet was able to look quite feminine in it.

I am a transfemme enby and despite being on HRT for a few months, I don’t know what it means to be a woman (or a man for that matter) but there is a... for lack of a better term, “feminine energy” I connect with... that I feel. And as I cultivate that and allow myself to feel it instead of repress it I notice my way of thinking is a little different? I don’t know how to explain it. I’m still me but different... but feminine.

Even if I’m wearing overalls and workboots or a women’s cut tuxedo.

[lingerieLiz]

Over time I've learned that I'm unable to know how women feel. I've sat and talked to women about what they feel that is different than I thought. I've dressed for a night out in front of a few women who shared comments about being sexy as we put on our nylons, and slips. I've had a girl slide her hand along my*nylons and garters as I reciprocated with her. We both realized that while excitement was great she and I felt different desires as we progressed.

[VtVicky]

I once had a consultation with a woman who said her 5 yro boy told her that he felt that he was in a costume but couldn't find the zipper. That was probably 25 years ago and I still haven't figured it out.

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

Since the first time I wore panties and a bra, I had a very pleasant and beautiful feeling. There is a whole spectrum, a rainbow, of feelings that GG have toward their feminine feelings; thus, it is not possible to define what the characteristics are of the "feminine" feeling. After my first experience I began to study women who were well dressed, beautifully shaped, had gentle manners and gentle personalities. I modeled myself after these women. When I change my attire from a man to this female, I immediately have this beautiful feeling. I see myself as one of them with their personality and attractiveness. It is unimportant to me that I feel "female" or any other name, but I do feel the way that I imagine my model woman feels. It is a psychological game, but the results are beautiful.

[Stephanie47]

Since I was born with male genitalia and raised as a societal boy I really do not know what it means to "feel like a woman." I suppose I cannot explain what it "feel like a man" means also. Maybe the closest anyone is going to get is expressing how a person feels like an individual. Maybe this illusion to appear as a woman has a lot to do with why so many wives and women in general are not appreciative of cross dressers. While many cross dressers feel emulating a woman is a positive affirmation of who women are perhaps women feel it is really downgrading women. We're invading their exclusive territory in the same way many men feel a woman should be "making babies" and "staying in the kitchen."

I had to chuckle a little at Helen's comment (#4) of "temporary loss of being macho!" Define "macho."

I've said numerous times on this forum that I do not know why I do what I do. I can say how I feel when I am en femme, which does not confer I know what it feels to be a woman, if a woman feels any differently than a man.

[Lorna]

This question has appeared several times previously. My own answer hasn't changed. Rightly or wrongly my CDing started in my youth when I saw and admired the girls around me and, in particular, what they wore. I was intrigued by their clothing and wondered what it felt like to wear such clothes. Of course, in those days women's clothes meant, almost exclusively, skirts and dresses, stockings, slips, bras, girdles, etc. There was only one way to find out what it felt like and that was to try it for myself. Over the years I have tried many different styles and types of female attire and I do have quite a good idea of the different feeling engendered by different garments. I feel I know, for example, something of how a woman feels when wearing a tight skirt or a long dress or heels or a firm girdle...but I certainly don't know what it is like to be a woman wearing those clothes.

[StephanieM]

I suppose technically we can't say we feel like a woman because we aren't one, however I do feel comfortable and like myself when dressed as one, so maybe we can say kind of.

[Jenny22]

No man can ever know what it feels like to be a woman.To do so you have to have all of the experiences of being a FEMALE!! That involves the going thru a totally different puberty, watching your breasts grow, the monthly nemesis, sex as a female, child bearing, etc..If you've not experienced same, you cannot feel like a woman, but you can present as one in many ways.

[Ineke Vashon]

To paraphrase an old tv show: I am not a woman but I can play one on TV.

Ineke :battingeyelashes:

[DianeT]

I suppose I will feel like a woman the day I have a vagina. Until then I feel more like a man wearing female clothes. It's cool in its own right too.

[Jodie_Lynn]

No man can ever know what it feels like to be a woman. To do so you have to have all of the experiences of being a FEMALE!! That involves the going thru a totally different puberty, watching your breasts grow, the monthly nemesis, sex as a female, child bearing, etc..If you've not experienced same, you cannot feel like a woman, but you can present as one in many ways.

Thank you! :)

[SophyV]

There are different ideas being equivocated here. Many have said they cannot know what it is like to feel like a woman due to biology and social conditioning. At the same time we also talk about feeling feminine. If any discussion highlighted the gender versus sex difference, this one does. No, we cannot know what it is like to feel like a GG. However, we can know what it is like to feel a sense of self that is different than the masculine caused by the wearing of female cloths. This is what it is to feel like a woman, to feel feminine. Just as when I put on a nice suit I feel more masculine, putting on a dress helps me feel more feminine. A GG might feel pretty and feminine when dressed to the nines, but not so much when dressed in everyday casual attire. I feel like the opposite gender though I cannot know how the opposite sex feels. For me, someone who does not suffer from real gender dysphasia, the cloths make the man, the masculine, or the woman, the feminine

[Jane G]

Boxes and yet more boxes. I long ago stopped worrying about whether I had, did or ever could feel like a woman. Just be who you are and try to except the way you feel at different points in your life. It makes things much simpler.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I can understand how many can feel feminine, when dressed in frocks and frills, it's kind of a no brainer. If you are attired in feminine finery, with make up, nail varnish, and a wig full of locks and curls, then yes, you will feel feminine.

But there is a difference between feeling feminine, and "feeling like a woman".

Ignoring the physiological issues such as periods or pregnancy, and focusing on attitudes, state of mind, and behaviours, lets discuss.

For those who venture out dressed, how do you leave a well lit mall, to walk to your car? Do you scan the parking lot? Watch for wandering men? Scan the shadows to see who might be lurking? Clutch your purse? Have your keys in your hand?

Or do you saunter casually along, confident in your ability, as a MAN to deal with any issues?

Sometime last year, I was at a nightclub and ran out of cigarettes, "no big deal", I thought, I'll just walk down the block to a bodega and get another pack. When I got there, there were 5 or 6 guys out front, sitting, chatting and drinking. Inside the store, there were 10 or 12 guys watching a soccer game on the TV. Suddenly I felt very vulnerable, turned on my heels and went back to the club. The store was NOT a safe place for me, I felt.

Women, and Transwomen, have to be aware, at all times, of their surroundings, and the dangers that may be present. Transwomen face potential violence; GG's face that, and worse. So please, don't presume to "feel like a woman", until you've literally walked a mile in a woman's world.

[CharlotteCD]

Its enough to boil the blood when somebody uses pregnancy as a reason why you can feel like a woman.

Guess what? Some genetic women can't get pregnant. Should we go and tell them that they can't feel like a woman?

Shaking my head at the double standards I see in here sometimes...

[SaraLin]

For those who venture out dressed, how do you leave a well lit mall, to walk to your car? Do you scan the parking lot? Watch for wandering men? Scan the shadows to see who might be lurking? Clutch your purse? Have your keys in your hand?


THIS! Very much THIS!
I also tried to not be alone if I could help it. If possible, I'd travel with a "wing girl" - especially if going anywhere that served alcohol.

(I haven't been out in years - house rules. But when I did, I always had that background fear of being a potential target)

[SophyV]

Without any context we could argue different facets of the phrase forever. To address Charlotte and SaraLin, fear of dangerous situations is universal. One can be subject to violence for any reason such as being a woman, cross dresser, trans, minority, foreigner, a member of a particular religion. The list can go on. Fear is not unique to women genetic or trans.

[jacques]

hello Jodie,
What does it mean to "feel like a crossdresser"? - this forum is always trying to answer that question
stay healthy!
luv J

[Lois Lane]

Being dressed from hairdo to heels. Heels clicking.

[Teresa]

Jodie,
The simple answer is pick your venues , I will also admit the walk across a badly lit car park can feel intimidating , I have my keys in my hand , I walk with my head held up so I can take in any movement or problems . I have to admit being full time I don't feel in anymore danger than I did as a man .

Charlotte ,
I agree , the comment is pretty hard on women who can't give birth for whatever reason and also for women who survived cancer but have to resort to implants or forms and possibly a wig . We should consider how they feel as women before we try and give a definitive answer !

[Brandi Christine]

If feeling feminine is the feeling you get when dressed & made up (I surely do) then could part of "Feeling like a woman" maybe be the response you get from others, specifically men?

[Krisi]

If I put my hand on my boob or butt, I "feel" like a woman. with the hair on my wig touching my neck, I "feel" like a woman.

Mentally, of course, I cannot feel like a woman. And I'm not sure all women feel the same. Or men, for that matter.

[Mezzanine]

I'm genderfluid and frequently feel feminine and like a woman. It's hard to explain, but it is very different than feeling like a man. When I feel like a woman, I feel feminine, I feel soft, delicate, I want to feel and be pretty. How I think, feel, and act changes. Also, as someone who is bi and fluid, I have a femininized brain and way of thinking, feeling, and acting in the world. I don't pretend to come to my femininity the same as other women, though I would think, too, that not every woman comes to their femininity the same, either. My coming to my femininity is filtered through my experiences being socialized as a man and having a male body, and I don't discount my male privilege, though it coexists with my femininity and having my femininity oppressed. So, my femininity is a combination of both man and woman, in different ways, at different times, and to differing degrees.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jodi Lynn :hugs:, Seeing the pretty lady in the mirror is a great feeling, >Orchid **O:daydreaming:O**