Making me feel good

[Angela Marie]

So I?m on vacation and decided to drop into a Starbucks before my run. I had on a pair of black leggings and a nice top. The woman at the counter said ? I saw you walk in with those leggings and I was admiring your legs? I told her I was transgender and she said “you definitely have the body”. I walked out on cloud 9.

[bridget thronton]

Always nice to get a compliment

[Teresa]

Angela,
Always nice to be noticed in a positive way .

Sorry to pose the question but why tell her you're TG ? Maybe try and leave it open and let them decide , some might think that's trying to fool them but I see it as gaining confidence and acceptance . Think of it more as being out as a woman and not as a TG , it works for me .

[Jean 103]

It is always nice to be noticed and complimented.

Please don't think I'm whatever but I'm with Teresa

Why do you feel you need to explain yourself?

I do understand , it is something that you will eventually get past in my opinion .

Good for you and enjoy your time off.

[docrobbysherry]

At least 99 out of every 100 T's don't need to tell anyone they're trans!:heehee:

[Angela Marie]

I was not dressed as a woman. Just had leggings and a neutral top. But I do see the points raised regarding telling the person I am transgendered. I guess the affirmation by others is a source of encouragement for me.

[Crissy 107]

Angela, I do not see anything wrong with what you said, you were there and in the moment so you said it. You left feeling good so that is great.

[AllieSF]

Angela,

You do you. Many of those real world people need to know that we exist. Not everyone is proud and courageous enough to reveal their gender identity. Each to their own, and I am like you in normally and eventually revealing my own identity.

Allie

[nvlady]

The more you tell people you're tg, the more acceptance we will all find.

[cindylouho]

Crissy said it all, enjoy the moment and tuck it away amongst your treasured memories.

[missjoann49]

Great compliment, don't you just love it

[Jean 103]

If you want to go forth and bing awareness. I say good for you. It is something that gets over looked sometimes.

With me it is pretty obvious maybe that's why I don't feel the need.

[nancy58]

Angel, you're a big girl, so you can say what you want. On the other hand, I can't help feeling that advice from my wife to me about my tendency to overshare is appropriate here: you don't owe anyone any explanations.

[Teresa]

Nvlady,
You can take that comment either way , at some point we reach the stage where we don't need to tell people , let them figure it out for themselves .

On the other side of the coin telling people does open the doors for others . I'm sure some TSs feel they have to move on and stop seeing the need to tell everyone about their past .

Personally I've stopped telling people not in anyway trying to fool them but more to do with losing the need to explain myself to people as if I need to apologise for being TG .

I also agree with Nancy , sometimes we must stop assuming everyone needs to know and talk about trans issues , we need to respect people for having to deal with their problems which they can't share with others .

Jean,
I agree but perhaps we should word it , " Hoping we don't feel the need " .

[docrobbysherry]

Teresa, thank u! I believe you've pretty much explained why I have no desire to go out dressed to vanilla venues.:thumbsup:

When I'm out shopping, it's to buy what I need/want and move on. To Denny's, to relax and eat lunch. Etc, etc! I find the fact that I'm an obvious man in a dress to be a constant distraction for me and the people I deal with when out running errands. And, I don't enjoy the obvious disapproval of some strangers, or the interested acceptance and curiosity of others. Out as an old man, I find everyone completely ignores me unless I need or want to begin a discussion with someone!:)

And, I LOVE that!:devil:

[Robertacd]

I am with Nacy on this one, I don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone. I take complements with a smile and a say "Thank you", and that's it.

Unless they ask I don't tell, and even if they do ask I might tell or I might tell them where to go, depending on how they ask.

[GretchenM]

There are so many variables involved in why we react the way we do it is next to impossible to develop any special rules or principles. Sometimes revealing the truth is fine; other times you really don't want to go there. Consequences differ with the situation. Nothing basically wrong with what you did, but I think you should make it a habit to be really aware of the environment before you speak. Not everyone will react favorably as this woman did. This event lifted you high; but it is also possible for a nasty comment to make you feel like a squashed bug. Once again, be yourself but don't let it form an expectation of favorable acknowledgement. Not everyone's concept of what transgender means is the same. In fact the term really doesn't mean anything clear all by itself. It is too vague to be of much use in explaining anything other than you are some kind of gender variant person. On the other hand, maybe that is all that is needed with most people and they don't want to know more.