Going out dressed with your wife (or SO)

[Misty_cder]

Hey ladies,

I have a question for those of you who have the ability to go out in public with your wives, or significant other. How did you approach her/him with the idea? My wife accepts my dressing but does not agree with me presenting in public. I know I am a MIAD and this is one of her reasons for not agreeing with the idea. I've approached the idea of wearing more unisex clothing as a starting point with her and did not get any resistance. Hopefully with more makeup training, I can get to a passible state and go out dressed.

[cindylouho]

I'm at the planning stage for that myself. I've nonchalantly discussed it with my wife, so it isn't a shock. I'd personally ask her to go out of town with me on a sexy little vacation where you would be there as Misty.

[Teresa]

Misty,
I appreciate it's a hard decision to make for a wife/partner . Do you go out as a couple of ladies or does she stop short and suggest you are a husband so it's MIAD mode or nothing .

Have you been out in public on your own if so how does she feel about it assuming she knows ?

A good way to break the ice is see if she will join you at a social group , that way you can chat to other CDers and she may want to chat with their wives , I know some wives enjoy the outings as much as their partners because it's a safer situation and less pressure if you don't get things right .

[Robertacd]

I don't think I ever "aproched" my wife about going out. She was always accepting and when I asked how she felt about going out she basically said "If you are comfortable going out in public, I am too.".

In fact she was a lot more comfortable than I was in the early days and would actually encourage me to dress.

[Micki_Finn]

Yeah, I don’t know that there’s a way to “convince” her. Women generally are either accepting in their SO, or they aren’t. My wife was open to it from the get-go, and even more so once I transitioned to Drag. Sorry, there’s no magic bullet. She may change her mind over time, but honestly there’s not really much you can do. If her main issue is that you’re a MIAD, then work on your presentation to make yourself more “passable”.

[Angela Marie]

My wife went out with me after my first makeover; we were in Vegas. I told her about my dressing on our second or third date and she was accepting. I don’t think, however, she realized how good I would look lol. I?m not trying to brag but I have a petite body and some nice feminine features. So we did go out to dinner but she was not really comfortable. No problem; I appreciate her support and respect her feelings. As an aside; after my makeover she had to get ready so I went to the hotel bar for a drink. I had a short skirt on. There were two couples at a table next to the bar. I heard one of the men say “I think she?s a hooker? ��

[Micki_Finn]

Are you taking the hooker comment as a positive?

[RADER]

Maybe the answer is not wear a dress or a skirt. Most "GGs" don't wear them today unless it is a semi-formal function.
So bite the bullet and go for a nice slack outfit. Whatever you wear, try to get wife's OK before going outside. Good Luck.
Rader

[AngelaYVR]

There was no convincing, my wife eventually made the decision that if she supported me then she would venture out with me, too. I was rather shocked at first but it really led to opening up her feelings about me dressed and we now have some pretty amazing times together. Sometimes all that is missing is enough time passing.

[Shely]

i dream of that but don't hold out any hope it will ever happem.

[docrobbysherry]

U mite try explaining if you're out with her? It's like a "get out of jail free" card in Monopoly!:thumbsup:

MIAD's alone r thot to be pervs by some. But, with your SO, they won't bat an eye!:daydreaming:

[Sherry Ann Evans]

I told my current GF that I'm bi and a CD, on the phone, before we even met. She was awesome about it. Now it's been two years and we have a great relationship! I was nervous the first time that we went out with me dressed (after we became a couple) because I feared that she would respect me less as the man underneath. That fear proved unfounded. Now when we go out with me dressed, we're both relaxed. Her only request, which is perfectly reasonable, is that "Sherry" is a once-in-a-while thing, not an all-the-time thing. I feel the same way so it's great. Lesson: be honest and if she's against it then move on.

[Sallee]

My wife wouldn't go for it now. There was a time maybe 30yrs ago went out a few times to support groups and a drag ball but since then she has changed I think the MIAD is the reason, understandable

[Rachelakld]

been out once with the wife, she thought everyone was staring at her and judging her.
So it's a no from my wife

[Bobbi46]

Being dressed 24/7 now, life for me feels so very normal, dressing in the morning is almost a subconcious thing because I dress every day. Now going out with my girlfriend, who has known about my dressing and is totally accepting, presents no problems between us whatsoever, or to any body that sees us together, even on my own, dressing and being outside amongst the populace is like any other normal day

[Teresa]

AngelaYVR,
From our angle we see very little wrong with being out as a couple , how you describe is really how it should be but possibly not as Angela1954 descibes it . No I wouldn't wear a miniskirt if it suggested being a hooker good figure or not , it wasn't fair on the wife .

Bobbi,
You make a good point about finding the comfort zone when it becomes full time , if the partner knows there isn't an alternative but I will add the comment I made about my daughter , she has to trust you not to let her down in public .

[Di]

Like others have said you cannot convince her. It is either something she would enjoy or not.
To force the issue would do more harm. She has to see it as a fun thing not something stressful.Untill she gets there the only thing I would do is just let her know someday you would like to do that. Untill then
You could start small maybe take a drive together and besides now during a pandemic there is not really not anywhere to go.

[Connie D50]

My wife and I have gone out and we have had some very nice times. Movies, dinner, shopping and even a plays. (This is not a weekly event) How did I ask, I told her how happy it would make me. The harder you push for it the less likely it happens. Now what to watch out for after you go out. (I have made many of these mistakes)
Of course dress for the occasion (dress like she does when she goes shopping)
I found out early that pictures not a good Idea. (think about it how many times do you see ladies taking picture in a mall)
You have to of course plan your day but I learned not to let her see how much planning it take for us to go out.
Go as far away from home so she feels comfortable not to run into someone she (we) might know.
My goal is to have fun however my bigger goal is that she has fun.
Good luck and have fun.

[char GG]

Lots of good advice here. I would add: don't expect your SO to be your personal photographer in public unless that's a role that she is comfortable with. Some malls have rules against taking pictures inside (don't know why, but we have been approached by security at one particular mall). Don't make a shopping trip all about finding items for just you. Relax, and just have fun as if it's a date.

[Teresa]

Connie,
While I haven't been out with my wife some of your comments are just as valid for the times when I go out with my daughter .

1) Still dress appropriately
2) Pictures , very true how many ladies do you see taking selfies when out shopping .
3) Have a basic plan and also have a plan B , my daughter has special dietry needs so I usually check if they have lactose free and gluten free items .
4) Distance has never been a problem although I did ask if it might create a problem if we bumped into some of her friends , simple reply , " Why should it ?"
5) Have fun , I agree otherwise why do it , I've been to comedy shows and pantomimes with her and her daughter and had a wonderful time .
6) Maybe add expect the unexpected , like the time we were crossing the car park to an out of town store and got caught in a downpour , the show must go on as they say !

Di makes the important point don't force them to do it , eventually they may surprise you with an offer you can't refuse .

[GretchenM]

Thank you Di and Char. It is most illuminating to hear the GG woman's perspective. There is a difference between a female's view and a male's view on this, not matter how you cut it. They can converge in a big way, but they can't merge. That very early childhood impact when girls and boys are treated differently has an oversize impact on us and those genetic differences also remain. Thanks again.

[Angela Marie]

I did not have a miniskirt on. It was a short dress. I?ll find the picture and post it here.

[kimdl93]

Rather than merely echoing the observations of others, I would like to ask a question. Have any of your SOs levels of acceptance evolved from DADT to willingly (as opposed to grudgingly) going out with you?

[Cheryl T]

After coming out to my wife and lots of discussion I told her that after all the years of being trapped in the closet I wanted to venture out into the world dressed.
She was apprehensive at first with worries of "what if a cop stops us". I said what if? We're not breaking any laws. Then I found support groups and asked that we try a meeting. Again she said "what if we see someone we know". I said what if? Will that person run to our friends and say "guess who I saw at our crossdressers meeting Saturday". I think not.
Then once at the group we were asked to go post-meeting to the local diner. There were 6 or 8 or us and we became part of that. It was amazing how the people at the diner treated us like stars. The manager would greet us warmly, the staff would almost argue over who's area we should sit in that night.
Anyway, we began going out frequently shopping and to dinner. My wife always said that she wanted to go "even if it's just to call 9-1-1 if something happened". I had to remind her she didn't have a cell phone at the time and mine would be in my purse so that would be problematic.
Now we just go everywhere.
At first I was shy and there were the usual side glances and giggles. People for the most part have a difficult time saying anything to your face. I found that if you just present yourself like you belong there, being confident and just going about your business few people really care. Hold your head up, dress for the venue and be proud.

[Misty_cder]

Thanks everyone for their input. To address a few questions:

- I have not gone out in public dress in full girl mode. I did go out once wearing women's jeans and heals to fill up the car with gas late one evening.
- I have not asked my wife directly if she would be willing to go out in a different town. Knowing her, that probably means taking a trip to Vegas if we were to do it. She's always concerned about running into someone we know.

I'm looking into support groups where wives attend but have not discussed this option with my wife yet.

[cindylouho]

Go somewhere where nobody knows your name, you can be you, and she can relax about being seen.

[Teresa]

Misty,
To some people the fear of running into people you know is a problem with a wife /partner , they may not know you but they will obviously know your wife .

Bumping into old friends alone usually means having to spell it out to them , it's happened so many times now to me .

[Taylor186]

My wife went with me a few times to a private CD support group meeting where wives were welcome. She soon became comfortable that the other CDs weren't monsters and stopped attending. Why? There was nothing in it her. I agreed with her thinking and was fine with it. These days, the once or twice a year I go out, I go solo. My choice. I'm not out locally and don't want to be outed by association.

[Joyce Swindell]

My wife knew before we were married. But I presented it to her explaining it being a part of who I am. I stressed to her there is not a gay or Bi part of me. Then she was curious and wanted to see my wardrobe and could obviously see I needed help in the area of fashion!

I love it when things work out

[AngelaYVR]

Have any of your SOs levels of acceptance evolved from DADT to willingly (as opposed to grudgingly) going out with you?

That is almost exactly what happened to me. One day she suggested going for a coffee! I asked if she was worried about bumping into people she knew (her previous fear) and she said she was no longer worried about it. From that point things just got even better.

[Krisi]

Misty,
To some people the fear of running into people you know is a problem with a wife /partner , they may not know you but they will obviously know your wife .
.

This is the real risk of going out in public with your wife or girl friend. While you may not be recognizable in your wig, boobs and big butt, your wife will not be so "disguised". Best case, she will introduce you as a friend or relative, you will nod and both be on your way. More likely, there will have to be a conversation and your cover will be blown. The person who knows your wife or the both of you will now know that your wife is married to a crossdresser or that you are a crossdresser. Your "secret" is now out of the bag.

Personally, I would so love to go out in public with my wife as friends. It would have to be away from home where the chance of running into someone she or we know is slim. Still, there's always that chance.

Sadly, I don't think it's going to happen for me.

BTW: It's best to remember that it's not going to be the thrill for her that it would be for you.

[Teresa]

Krisi,
I wouldn't expect anyone to accompany me in the family if it was for the thrill of it , I would want them to be comfortable and relaxed with me and that's what I love about my daughter . I've also been out with my daughter's mother in law when we've taken the granddaughter to a special riding center for autistic children , she just refers to me as Terri when she introduces me to anyone , I find it lovely to chat to other parents .

[kimdl93]

That is almost exactly what happened to me. One day she suggested going for a coffee! I asked if she was worried about bumping into people she knew (her previous fear) and she said she was no longer worried about it. From that point things just got even better.

Follow up question, Angela: That is a stunning and wonderful development. Any insights into how and why your wife’s attitude evolved so favorably?

[Jillian Faith]

My wife slowly warmed up to the idea of going out with me dressed enfemme. The first few times we attended a few local Tri Ess meetings, but it wasn't our thing. Later we made plans to attend a local Unity banquet, since I had nothing to wear (who knew) we went shopping and purchased a formal gown, a cute clutch and a gorgeous pair of 4" sandals, I even had a pedicure and had my toes done French. At the last minute she had second thoughts and we didn't go, later she had regret, it was too late to go to the fancy banquet, so she had me dress in a cute skirt, top and flip flops. With me carrying a borrowed purse she took me out for a quick shopping trip. We drove a little north and stopped a Payless Shoes, there was a mother with 2 teenage daughters in addition to myself and my wife in the small store, to say I was nervous was an understatement. We finally left Payless and walked a few doors down to a Target, being a larger store and not so crowded I relaxed a little and started to look at some jewelry until I looked up and couldn't see my wife. I had a mini panic attacked until I found her 20 feet away. We walked thru the store with her coaching me to walk slower and enjoy shopping which I attempted to do, we picked up a few household items and looked around a bit. We went to check out and I tried to inconspicuously look at a tabloid magazine while my wife paid for everything. The experience of being out in public dressed was both frightening and liberating at the same time. Once we got in the car to drive home, I told my wife that although scary I was not ready for the night to end so she pulled off the interstate and drove to a Kohl's. I had never been in a Kohl's before but relaxed a little when I realized it was less crowded than either the Payless or Target. We walked around browsing the selection of lady’s clothes (every time I passed a mirror, I quickly checked my appearance and smiled). We didn’t find much but I did follow my wife into the dressing room to try on a pair of Capri pants. They fit us both, so we checked out and went home to relax with a glass of wine on the patio in the afterglow of our first real public trip outside of the with me dressed.

Since then, we have gone out a few times since, to several malls shopping, eating in the food court or at times at an upscale bistro. My wife is my biggest supporter and understands my need to dress and yes to go out in public.

[AngelaYVR]

Follow up question, Angela: That is a stunning and wonderful development. Any insights into how and why your wife’s attitude evolved so favorably?

There were several factors involved. I believe the initial motivating factor was actually us bumping into one of my GG friends while out [in drab] one day together. My wife had always turned down the invitation to meet the friends I had made when out dressed. In a nutshell, my wife got jealous. This started the ball rolling.

From that point she confronted her own issues with regard to my dressing. First off, she was missing out on an important part of my life (there was no issue with her seeing me dressed at home, just the going out part). Secondly, she could finally admit out loud that she was attracted to me while dressed and clearing that hurdle smoothed out everything else.

Unfortunately no magic formula, just a confluence of events that made things work out!

[Robertacd]

Good luck finding a support group that also has spouses. Those are few and far between.

In fact at my TG support group spouses often complain that there is nothing for them.

[Teresa]

Roberta,
Two of my groups have a regular attendance of about 25% wives/partners , we find activities that everyone enjoys , some couples make a weekend of it because the hotel gives them a special deal .

[Robertacd]

A weekend of it? I thought we were talking about support groups, not social clubs.

I know a couple social clubs for CD/TG and spouses are always welcome at their meetings and events, but they are not support groups.

A weekly support group just for spouses of CD/TG is hard to find.

Allowing spouses to attend a CD/TG support group is just not the same thing. At least that's what I have heard said by actual spouses.

[Di]

A weekend of it? I thought we were talking about support groups, not social clubs.
.first off the OP just asked about going out.

Second
I think Teresa is talking about a support
group( they also have social events) I know of two such groups in Canada and friends of mine also stay over as it a few hrs away and a time away together .
Most of these groups are in bigger cities and would be a good option to look into after things open back up.

[Robertacd]

I know, I was replying to Teresa


Roberta,
Two of my groups have a regular attendance of about 25% wives/partners , we find activities that everyone enjoys , some couples make a weekend of it because the hotel gives them a special deal .

This is why I like to quote who I am replying to, but if I had done that I would have been scolded for quoting the post right before mine.

When I don't it leads to confusion like being scolding me for being off topic (I think?)

I can't win.


But back on topic, maybe the definition of a support group is in order.

To me a support group is basically a group therapy session with or without a mental health professional leading it.

Not just a group of like minded people getting together to chat and have fun.

In fact my TG support group even says it is not as dating service and NOT to talk to or even acknowledge other members of the group outside of the group because they may not be out.

The CD/TG Social Club I belong to has "We are not a support group" all over their website

So to me these are two distinctly different things.

[Taylor186]

Your support group definition is different than mine. The group I attended for four years used the Tri-Ess meeting template (education, social, support). We had many speakers, but never had a "mental health professional" lead any discussion.

"Tri-Ess is an educational, social and support group for heterosexual crossdressers, their partners, the spouses of married crossdressers and their families." https://www.tri-ess.org/docs/whatis.html

[Robertacd]

But what about the reluctant or outright non-supportive spouse? Where's their support group?

That's the hard question.

Also there is not even a Tri-Ess chapter in my state, so again spousal support groups are few and far between

[Sometimes Steffi]

There were several factors involved. I believe the initial motivating factor was actually us bumping into one of my GG friends while out [in drab] one day together. My wife had always turned down the invitation to meet the friends I had made when out dressed. In a nutshell, my wife got jealous. This started the ball rolling.

From that point she confronted her own issues with regard to my dressing. First off, she was missing out on an important part of my life (there was no issue with her seeing me dressed at home, just the going out part). Secondly, she could finally admit out loud that she was attracted to me while dressed and clearing that hurdle smoothed out everything else.

Unfortunately no magic formula, just a confluence of events that made things work out!

I would love to go out with my wife as girlfriends, but I don't expect it to happen.

But I will remember how it worked for you, and see if I can duplicate. I'll also play MegaBucks that day and see if I can win two at one time. LOL

My social group in DC has no problem with spouses coming. The just on't want admirers.

[Leslie Langford]

Right here, actually, Roberta.

It's a section of this Forum called F.A.B. (Female at Birth), and its Mission Statement is "The F.A.B. section exists to provide support for women who are in a relationship with a crossdresser or a transsexual. This forum is invite only for real F.A.B. members (Female at Birth). Non members or CD members cannot view any part of this additional forum."

[Cheryl T]

When we first joined our support group one piece of advice was that if you wish to go out, do so in a town at least 20 miles from yours.
That minimizes the chance that someone you know will be there and see either of you. Of course make sure none of your friends live there.

[Robertacd]

Actually Leslie, I recommended the FAB section here and this was the ONLY place a dozen Transwomen and two spouses on Zoom could come up with for a spouse to find any support.

Two months later that marriage ended.

[jacques]

hello Misty,
I have been out for walks dressed in public and to bars with my wife and I don't think she realised that I was totally crossdressed (wearing a bra, women's jeans, tights, hoody, scarf, jewelry - though not very femme). Who am I kidding? She must have realised, but did not say anything or object. Not exactly a MIAD in public, but probably the next best thing. I can even wear makeup now under my Covid face mask!
stay healthy,
luv J

[Asew]

My wife's biggest issue was fear of what others thought of her. It took baby steps such as wearing a jean skirt with hoodie and dress shirt and kilt, and time of seeing it most days at home. Now it isn't an issue if I am wearing something simple like a t-shirt and skirt. If I am wearing a dress I usually will change into a skirt before going out with her.

[NancySue]

My wife is totally supportive of my dressing, with the exception of going out....small nosy town, police, accidents, etc. Several years ago, she reluctantly agree to go out with me. I was ecstatic. We drove 20 miles to a mall for dinner and a movie. All went well until we saw a couple we knew...small world. We both freaked out. We weren?t seen, but that experience eliminated any future outings. My DADT is going out. I?ve ventured out occasionally, but am not comfortable. Someday, maybe.

[Krisi]

When we first joined our support group one piece of advice was that if you wish to go out, do so in a town at least 20 miles from yours.
That minimizes the chance that someone you know will be there and see either of you. Of course make sure none of your friends live there.

20 miles is nothing these days. Many folks drive further than that to work and back (at least in the USA). I would suggest 100 miles away or at least a two hour drive. Even that is no guarantee.

For me, and I suspect most folks, the hard part is just getting out of the house and neighborhood. You never know who might be looking out their window when you walk out of the house all doled up to get into the car. Worse yet is when you return home.

[Teresa]

Roberta,
Taylor describes the situation very well , to some it's more for support for others it's purely a social get together , the fact wives /partners also attend is wonderful again some are looking for support from other wives and others enjoy the chance to have dance and a meal on special occasions .

I lived with a reluctant wife who made my life very difficult , the damage was done when I first came out to her , there wasn't anyway back from that moment but it took time to realise it .


Some get together and make a weekend of it , usually the male will dress for the evening and then do male mode to do some sightseeing the next day .

Krisi ,
I guess I was lucky in that respect , my wife accepted me going to a social group so she would sit in her car a short distance down the road form our drive entrance and call me on the mobile phone when it was clear to leave , I usually arrived home after midnight so she was usually in bed . At that time my groups were about forty miles away .

[Robertacd]

Yeah, but as I have said a CD/TG support group that allows spouses to attend and even lets them participate is not the same thing as a support group strictly for spouses of CD/TG.

That's what spouses of CD/TG have actually said to me.

[ellbee]

To some people the fear of running into people you know is a problem with a wife /partner , they may not know you but they will obviously know your wife.


This is the real risk of going out in public with your wife or girl friend. While you may not be recognizable in your wig, boobs and big butt, your wife will not be so "disguised".

Imagine, if you will, that there is a perfect solution to this -- and a fun one, at that! :yippee:


You see, this is an awesome opportunity for your SO not only to get all dolled-up, too -- but also doing it as a "disguise." You know, for *her*. ;)

- Does she have short straight blonde hair? Throw on a longer wig & now she's a curly redhead.
- Does she not wear glasses? Now she does!
- Does she normally do her make-up in a certain way (if at all)? Do it differently, with different shades.
- Does she wear a certain style of clothing? Totally change it up with some new things purchased specifically for this!
- Does she typically wear flats? Some new shoes can change her height.
- Has she always wanted bigger boobs? Well, now's her chance! :heehee:
- Etc., etc.


Y'all need to give this a whirl. :D

Gotta make it fun for them, too, ya know (while putting their mind at ease)... :devil:

[Taylor186]

Yeah, but as I have said a CD/TG support group that allows spouses to attend and even lets them participate is not the same thing as a support group strictly for spouses of CD/TG.

Fair point but it has nothing to do with the original post. Misty wants ideas on how to get her wife to go out with her while dressed. A support group "strictly for spouses" doesn't achieve that.

As I mentioned in post #28 I convinced my wife to go out with me to a CD support group meeting that included partners/spouses. It solved several security concerns for us as it was 70 miles from our home town, a private location, limited to CDers and their partners/wives (20 to 30 on any given meeting night), and guest speakers. It i included a pot-luck meal, a short formal meeting and a support/education discussion.

[Teresa]

Taylor,
I do agree with you , as far as the thread question is concerned I don't see the point of splitting hairs over the difference of socialising or supporting . Consideration has to be given to the GGs present so the basic rules are no fetish wear and no dating . We do have some fun and at times run charity events to raise money for good causes . One group meets is an open hotel situation and the other in a private meeting room personally I prefer the hotel but some need the privacy of a meeting room .

[Krisi]

Imagine, if you will, that there is a perfect solution to this -- and a fun one, at that! :yippee:


You see, this is an awesome opportunity for your SO not only to get all dolled-up, too -- but also doing it as a "disguise." You know, for *her*. ;)

- Does she have short straight blonde hair? Throw on a longer wig & now she's a curly redhead.
- Does she not wear glasses? Now she does!
- Does she normally do her make-up in a certain way (if at all)? Do it differently, with different shades.
- Does she wear a certain style of clothing? Totally change it up with some new things purchased specifically for this!
- Does she typically wear flats? Some new shoes can change her height.
- Has she always wanted bigger boobs? Well, now's her chance! :heehee:
- Etc., etc.


Y'all need to give this a whirl. :D

Gotta make it fun for them, too, ya know (while putting their mind at ease)... :devil:

That would be fine if the wife was in to that sort of thing. Mine wouldn't be and I would think most wives wouldn't be.

Remember, it is you who gets a thrill out of going out in public pretending to be a woman, not your wife.

[Teresa]

Krisi,
I hope your comment only applies to your situation , I would not insult anyone by going out pretending to be a woman just for the thrill of it . My daughter wouldn't accept it , she trusts me not to give her any problems and I respect her trust .

[Jillcder]

I?m so envious of the ladies that have gone out with their wives I hope to some day venture out shopping or see a movie while dressed with my wife.

[CharlotteCD]

This is my worst nightmare - I really don't feel comfortable with how I look, and really don't want my wife to see me dressed.

[Alice_2014_B]

My wife has been out with me three times with me all dolled up.
Twice were for Halloween.
And one of those times was literally last night. I was TDY over Halloween so we made up for it last night at the mall.
You can see the details in the Picture Gallery "At Target".

My wife supports my dressing up for YouTube videos, Rocky Horror Shows, and doing stand-up (the latter two obviously on hold for obvious reasons).
I explained to her that such public outings can literally help me with stand-up material and ideas for YouTube videos.

I'm not sure if any of those reasons will help you.
When the weather is nice I like to wear a Utilikilt out and about; that gets a lot of looks but is super comfortable, it is just like wearing a skirt.

:)

[Samm]

We are our own worst critics sometimes.
I've gone out alone, met with friends, and have been out with my wife numerous times. All are usually both nerve wracking, as well as exiting and fun (for me, anyway) all at the same time.
Im not 'out' to anyone but her, but I can't deprive my(fem)self of a little bit of validation. I'm glad I shared all of this with her. She's pushed me to get out there, and to gain confidence.