Where You Fall on the Spectrum

[GwenHerself]

Someone mentioned that crossdressing is like a spectrum. I hadn't really considered that it might be different for everyone. What scratches your "itch"? Do you just want to wear feminine clothes? Do you want to have a feminine body shape? Feminine walk? Act like a woman? Would you be satisfied wearing male clothes with traditionally feminine patterns and fabrics?

Just curious...

[Confucius]

I am a heterosexual crossdresser, who crossdresses almost daily, but keeps it limited.
I'm not very masculine and I never felt a need to develop a feminine alter-ego.
While I crossdress on most days, I don't do it in public. It's very private for me. No one but my wife knows I crossdress.
While I would like to pass as a woman, that isn't physically possible.
I keep my crossdressing limited to my wife's tolerances. She respects my needs, and I respect hers.
Currently, my wardrobe is limited to skirts, dresses, slips, and nightgowns - my style is feminine sophisticated/classy (not sexy).
When I crossdress my personality doesn't change. I really don't change at all.

[Pumped]

No interest in transitioning, I just enjoy wearing women's clothing and trying, but failing to look as feminine as possible. I pad and compress, wearing shapers, bras with forms and do what I can to get this old guy body looking like it belongs in a dress. I dress any where from fairly "normal" dresses that a woman might wear out to a social function, to bodycon dresses, tight skirts, bright colors and faux leather that most women would not wear. I like to play dress up. I don't venture out of the house. Extremely happily married, I have a very forgiving and about 95% accepting wife so I dress as I please and when I please. Once in a while she askes if I can be her hubby and skip the dressing, and I do. Gotta keep mama happy too! A very little part I can do to help her put up with her crazy hubby! I love her so much I just want to squish her!

[Teresa]

Gwen,
I've travelled across the spectrum to accepting I'm TG who has socially transitioned which means I go out comfortably as Teresa full time , I've yet to finally decide if I have the need to go further along the spectrum .

I could turn your descriptions around and say I no longer wish to crossdress as a man .

[Stephanie47]

I am a plain vanilla cross dresser. I do not wear hip or butt padding. I wear a bra with home made forms, i.e, water balloons. I recognize I have a male form and wear dresses that do not accentuate a lack of an hour glass (Barbie doll) shape. I do not own or wear any jeans/pants made for women. If I want to wear jeans, it's male jeans. I feel comfortable as a male, and, make into a nice sloppy comfortable guy. When it's Stephanie time, it's Stephanie time and not some half way mix. No desire to be a woman, although if I was a woman that would be fine with me.

[JeanTG]

When I figure it out I'll let you all know ;)

[Brianne_bc]

Aspergers
Hypertactile and sensory processing difficulties.

[IleneD]

I had to scratch myself raw (in your 'itch' analogy) before I figured it out.
Transgender.
I'm dedicated now. One year HRT, and there's no going back.
I fall on the Must Transition end of the CD spectrum. This isn't just dressing up (which I love). This is life.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I crossdress, always including clothes, and makeup, breast forms and a wig when going out.

I'm heterosexual, in that I'm only attracted to women, when either male mode or female mode. I have to admit that I find many crossdressers and Mtf transexuals very attractive, but I recognize that many of them are still dudes under their clothes.

I go out and about, sometimes alone, but mostly in groups. I have a lot of CD friends. I've met about 1/3 of my friends here FtF.

When I'm out and about en femme, I try to be the most convincing girl that I can be. I won't go out as a MIAD. I cross my legs at the ankle and place my hands on my lap. Some girls here have only a few similar wigs. I have many wigs ranging in color from dark blonde to brown to auburn to red. Most of my wigs are longer, say from my shoulders to about half way does the back.

Except for socks, I have more of every kind of women's clothing than she does, including dresses, skirts, evening gowns, wedding gowns, shoes, you name it.

Honestly, I consider myself gender fluid. Boy me is an introvert, and Steffi is an extrovert. Whenever i do anything extroverted, it's Steffi, not boy me.

[Jacke]

I am a latecomer to the scene. It started with a party we had plans to attend. But I have found I enjoy dressing. It feels good, though I am not passable and I am comfortable with that. My wife is accepting and helpful. Right now she is the only one who knows. I do not believe it will go any farther, but who knows, the party might be rescheduled after Covid is controlled.

[Stephanie_V]

Lately, the only time I'm in full male mode is at work (I wear panties though). As soon as I get home, it's out of work clothes and into hip pads, some body shaping wear and into female clothes. I've been growing my hair out for the last few years and have my ears pierced.
I do most of my errands in girl mode. Quick makeup, maybe a few rolls of the curling iron. Put on a pair of jeggings, grab the purse and out the door I go :)

[Lacey New]

I?m very much on the male end of the spectrum. I?ve never had a wig, breast forms, shoes or any other feminine accessories such as purses, jewelry or make up. Only a few times I have ?borrowed? lipstick and eyeliner when my wife has been gone. While I have underdressed quite frequently outside of the house, my dressing at home has been limited to on rare occasions, wearing a dress with all of the associated lingerie underneath. Never had the urge to transition nor have I had any interest in intimacy with another male. However, I have wanted to go to go to a transformation studio just to see how femme I could get.

[Ressie]

I think you're referring to the spectrum under the transgender umbrella rather than cross dressing. 50 years ago there were transexuals and transvestites. Everything fit into those two little categories. Now days, the TG spectrum includes everything in between with many possibilities.

Me:
Doing anything to make my appearance more fem has always been sexually arousing to me. The look and feel of women's clothes is most of it, yet it's also the makeup, wigs and jewelry. I don't feel that I'm trapped in a male's body per se, but sometimes I feel like transitioning and dressing en femme 24/7. From decades of self diagnosis, I guess I'm AGP.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

at age 65 i am slowly but surely drifting into the transsexual phase but to actually go all the way is almost impossible

[CharlotteCD]

I've moved along over time.

When I was 4-7 I was convinced I should have been a girl. I would have started the process there and then if I'd had supportive parents who suggested it.

When I was in my teens is became sexual, as everything can be at that age.

In my 20s it became about passing and sexual.

In my thirties I've accepted that I'm actually on the border of wanting to transition, and want to present as a female whenever possible.

[Lana Mae]

Started out as a crossdresser! Now 24/7 transwoman! My only advise is be the best "you" you can be, whatever that may be! Hugs Lana Mae

[Deedee_tv]

It started out simple enough 50 years ago, I just wanted a pair of girls shoes. Today, I live my gender fluidity out in the open. Most days I wear women’s clothes, head to toe. My body is shaved, I’ve grown my hair for a year and wear a very feminine hair cut/color/style. I’ve had 5 sessions of laser hair removal on my face. I wear women’s glasses. My ears are pierced. Im openly bisexual but never want to be in a serious relationship again, 26 years of marriage was enough for me. I frequently have a manicure and pedicure all in front of my adult kids and close friends and everyone just knows it’s me. I may eventually start HRT but I would never have any gender surgeries.

[Angela Marie]

I started when I was about 10, wearing my mothers tights; what would be called leggings today. I always loved the feel, and as a runner was in heaven when running tights were first introduced. There was always something inside me that said 'female". Until I separated from my wife and lived alone I never took the plunge into fully dressing. I had my first makeover about 14 years ago and something clicked. I knew my dressing was more than just a fetish. I'm 66 now and circumstances rule out a transition. My current wife knows and is supportive; but would prefer others not know. I'm fine with that. I appreciate her tolerance. I go out fully dressed often. I have a petite frame, 5ft 6 135, so I really don't need any enhancements. I do wear leggings around the house and out to the grocery store. I would love to wear them out all the time but thats not in the stars at this time.

[Kimberly A.]

Hi, Gwen. :) I fall under the "just a crossdresser spectrum". I'm a straight man, I just love CD'ing from time to time. I do go out CD'd, I wear makeup, a bra with breast forms, dresses, skirts, blouses, wigs, pantyhose, leggings or jeggings and women's shoes, but no hip padding of any kind..... I do not have the desire to fully transition into a woman, but I do try to act feminine when I'm out en femme. I also do not consider myself to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Others here may disagree and that's fine, but I think that is a matter of personal choice. When I'm myself, or in "male mode", I act like myself and I try to act masculine.

I've been told once in my life that I act feminine by an ex-girlfriend and I never really noticed that about myself until she brought it up. After that, I made a conscience effort to try and act more masculine..... Didn't really work out. I honestly believe the reason that I act feminine and possibly the reason I have a strong feminine side, is because I was raised with all girls, I was the only boy in my family. I have four sisters, no brothers and three female cousins that I practically grew up with.

[Cheryl T]

If you asked me when I was 20 I would have said I was strictly a crossdresser.
If you asked me at 40 I would have said crossdresser with leanings.
If you asked me at 60 I would have said I would love to transition but there are so many things in the way.
If you ask me now, having lived nearly full time for the last 8 months I will say I'm confused and not sure. Some days I wake up and cry because I want to transition, I want to have breasts and be rid of the male parts. Some days I wake up and wonder just what I'm doing, who I am and where I'm going. All paths are still accessible right now but I haven't decided which is right for me.

[docrobbysherry]

I WANT IT ALL!:devil:

And, am willing go to extraordinary lengths to imitate the young women I see in my mind!:battingeyelashes:

However, that's just me. I've met 100's of dressers and I've never met one like me. But, I've found that they, u, are ALL the most amazing people!:hugs:

[Star01]

I discovered my late step mothers clothes in the attic at around 12 but was shipped off to live with grandparents when my father died. After losing both parents I was a mess eventually ending up married at 18. By the seventies I had three kids and a forth in the 80's. My wife did some part time work but the bulk of providing for everyone fell on me. I would sometimes think of dressing and in the mid 80's got into some bags of thrift store stuff and some sexy lingerie. I dismissed that as a one off kinky experience.

It would hit me hard about eighteen years ago. I grew out my hair, shaved my body, got my ears pierced and dieted to the point that people thought I was fighting an illness. I was just trying to look good in a dress.

Around that time my wife confronted me and laid down her dadt terms, we had never discussed my dressing so it hit me out of nowhere. I purged as a result and couldn't understand why I was attracted to dressing in women's clothing that but I kept shaving after purging. I got depressed, gained the weight I lost plus a bunch more and absorbed myself in an auto racing media opportunity nights and weekends after working all day at my regular job. In 2012 crossdressing came rushing back while my wife was out of town and I started buying things but was restricted by storage and logistics complications since then.

Our intimate life ended due to her health issues and I was given a hall pass (she was thinking women) but didn't expect to ever use it. My wife is very liberal about pretty much every issue so without going into our background I can only say that the hall pass came from a sincere place. I later discovered that I have a bi side that was limited to other CD's. That realization had not been a prominent part of my life but it is a factor that may affect my dressing in some ways.

I don't know what I am or where I fall in the spectrum. I think that my circumstances hold me back from truly knowing this part of myself. I was getting close to wanting to take it further, demanding freedom to dress and researching transition, and that scared me and hastened my decision to get therapy. I have a love hate relationship with crossdressing, I love the way I feel when dressed with wig and makeup but I hate how it complicates my life. When they put "clueless country bumpkin" in the dictionary they were using me as their example. I am so far out of touch with how I should behave and think of this due to my background and rural location that it borders on offending other members. Honestly, this is who I am and I welcome criticism if something I say is out of line or insensitive.

After making some progress and finally accepting that I have gender issues that need to be addressed along came Covid. That brought my progress to a standstill and it's hard to convey how strongly I feel about this in therapy when I am unable to act on it. This is the first thing I have experienced since the untimely deaths of my parents that I can't control. When I find the answers I'm looking for I will post the rest of my story.

[kimdl93]

I have been struggling to answer this question for decades and the best I can come up with is that I am somewhere on the gender identity spectrum...if you view gender as two polar extremes...a bit to the female side. Saying that, its not a static sense...some days I can function comfortable as a male and wonder if all this gender angst is just a delusion. At other times I can totally accept being transgender. I am not sure what causes the shifts, but I notice that when my overall mood is positive, I also feel more comfortable with my female self. When I am depressed, then I shift a bit towards male and denial.

[sara66]

I am a hetero crossdresser. I have never wanted to transition. I would like to get out and spend several days 24/7. However I like the boy side just as well as the girl side.
Sara

[RobynG]

After 45 years of "dressing", thanks to my sister moving out and leaving clothes behind that I had to try on and happened to fit, I have found that I have no intention of trying to pass myself off as anything else but what I am. I am a guy who enjoys wearing female clothing, mostly underwear but I do wear skirts or skinny jeans when no one is around. My wife knows that Robyn lives here, she might not how often Robyn shows up, but that's my problem. So where do I fall into the spectrum? I have no idea, I'm just a guy who is very comfortable wearing a bra and panties

[Ressie]

This turned out to be a good question because I like that there are posts from some long time members that haven't posted much. :battingeyelashes:

[GretchenM]

It is a good and very fair question with a lot of great responses that seems to span a good deal of the spectrum. I don't identify as male or female in terms of gender. Pure non-binary. But also could be called gender fluid. I am comfortable most everywhere on the spectrum, also a non-binary characteristic.

How does that work? Probably my neural networks associated with gender behavior may be an even blend of both male-like and female-like forms that also shift around a bit as a result of brain plasticity. Why does that happen? I have no idea, but it seems that I am configured that way which really isn't an answer to the why question. Been that way since forever.

[Ressie]

Do you just want to wear feminine clothes? There seems to be more to it than that

Do you want to have a feminine body shape? Yes, but the desire isn't strong enough to pursue modifications.

Feminine walk? I worked on this a few years ago without much success. I just try to walk less like a man when dressing in public.

Act like a woman? I don't wanna put on an act. Fem attributes and behavior may manifest without conscious effort.

Would you be satisfied wearing male clothes with traditionally feminine patterns and fabrics? No

[VivianNewkirk]

"Gender-fluid" is a good description for me. At work or out-and-about I'm usually in mostly male mode, but I underdress and wear jewelry regularly, including studs in my pierced ears. Once I'm home, and frequently while out shopping, I'm usually a woman. Vivian has completely taken over one of my two clothes closets and shows no signs of slowing that down!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Gwen :hugs:, I am just a strait Male who totally enjoys dressing
to look and act as feminine and lovely as I can,, >Orchid **O:daydreaming:O**

[Krisi]

I use silicone and foam to achieve aa "feminine shape". I wear a feminine wig and feminine clothing. I'm not sure I can act like a woman but I try. Same for the walk.

Bottom line; When I am dressed as a woman, I try to present as a woman to the best of my ability. It's like acting in a play or movie.

[Katie Lynn cd]

I am in my mid 50’s and have been dressing since I was about 11 years old, but I do think the desire has always been there. For me, I love dressing as a woman. Have no desire to become a woman, but I do absolutely love how I feel when it all comes together. It does need to be 100% and by this I mean heels, stockings, clothes, breastforms, makeup, nails and a wig. If I get to paint my toes...all the better. It has at least, in part, always been a sexual thing for me. However I do find that as I have aged I just want to spend more time dressed. I don’t need to do it every day, but it is always in my thoughts. I have come to the realization that this is who I am, and I am finally comfortable with that.

I hope that everyone here finds their happy place with this. Most people don’t understand this desire, including me at times.

[Asew]

I fall as non-binary on the spectrum. I like to pick and choose the aspects I like from both sides. Clothes wise this is female (skirts, dresses, cardigans, jewelry booties, like heels but impractical so don't wear often) and male (flip-flops, t-shirts, hoodies, boxers, socks, sneakers). Body wise I don't do fake boobs or shave my legs or makeup, but I did grow my hair out to shoulder length. I don't change the way I sit, talk, walk, etc as that feels fake for me. I don't want to be a female, but I don't really like masculinity.

[susanmichelle]

As of late me being 68 now and
Have been looking more and more feminine the older I get I?m leaning more towards transgender than anything now most of my friends know of my dressing and accept me fully and a few prefer me this way more than the male side. I?m single now and have been since 94 and don?t want to remarry especially after 3 divorces none due to the dressing though.

[Paulie Birmingham]

Masculine hetero miad who rarely wears a dress

[Alice Torn]

Krisi, That is a lot like me. But, as a lifetime single, and starved for seeing GGs around my age dressed classy, starved for female touch, and beauty. I put on classy dresses, hose, heels, pearls, broach, earrings, wig, perfume, and kind of become the tall, classy lady of my dreams. But, after several hours, am exhausted, and glad to to back to my guy mode.

[Raychel]

Just an old guy that like to dress in finer women's clothes.
No desire at all for the full makeup or passing in public

Just enjoy being me :)

[NancySue]

Yes, it is different for everyone. Past threads have discussed what was the first piece of female clothes that one tried on that flipped the switch. The answers were all over the spectrum...panties, hose, scarves, blouses, and the list goes on. With many, like me, my dressing was progressive, starting with hose. I?m a hetro male with a supportive wife. I have, so far, had no ?itch? to do anything else, but dress...sometimes only underneath, sometimes partially, sometimes completely.

[Elizabeth G]

I've been crossdressing for over 40 years. In my earliest times I always wished I would just go to sleep and wake up as a girl. In later years I used to consider myself "just a crossdresser". The desire would wax and wane over the years. When it came back about 5 years ago it came back with a vengeance. At one point when I really gave it some thought I realized that it wasn't just how the clothes felt or looked. It was about wanting to present as and be perceived as a woman to the best of my ability. I consider myself to be trans and if my situation were different I might consider transition but that is off the table for the foreseeable future.

[Samm]

I have been struggling to answer this question for decades and the best I can come up with is that I am somewhere on the gender identity spectrum...if you view gender as two polar extremes...a bit to the female side. Saying that, its not a static sense...some days I can function comfortable as a male and wonder if all this gender angst is just a delusion. At other times I can totally accept being transgender. I am not sure what causes the shifts, but I notice that when my overall mood is positive, I also feel more comfortable with my female self. When I am depressed, then I shift a bit towards male and denial.

Kim, you've pretty much described me!
I don't think I could choose one over the other, but the shifting back and forth can be a bit difficult to keep up with, to say the least. Some days it's non existent, others I suddenly find myself on the verge of tears. It definitely gets tiring sometimes. Keeping somewhat of a balance seems to be key for me.
So where am I on the spectrum? A little here.... a little there, but never in one place for too long.

[suzanne]

If I'm not wearing a dress or skirt, I look like an alpha male, and an intimidating one at that. No one who hasn't seen me dressed would ever guess that about me.

That said, I am at my best, most complete, confident, and happy when I can put on a skirt and heels and get out in the world. I never try to fool people into thinking I'm a woman. There is no makeup, wig, breast forms or voice alteration. I am a man in a dress and confident about it because I have had the benefit of personal style training by some very knowledgeable drpass as a womeness sales ladies. So that is my best presentation. If I attempted to pass as a woman I believe the result would be a tragic joke..

If you search the web for images of men in dresses, you will see a wide variety of presentations, good, bad and ugly. The best look amazingly comfortable and natural without makeup, wig or boobs and the comments they receive are overwhelmingly positive, as if they are crying out for more men to be so courageous. I think the world is ready to see men wearing dresses. Not as a joke, or a protest or some type of punishment or humiliation. But as a sincere statement that "This is me and I'm claiming my place in the world" And the world finally decides its Not A Big Deal.

Sometimes I feel like the members of this forum are actually hindering the acceptance of crossdressing by setting a standard for themselves that few can attain. They think they can't go out in public unless they can actually pass as a woman, perhaps out of fear of being found out and humiliated for it, or worse. A much more attainable goal is presentability. Get clothes that fit your figure properly, coordinate them with suitable accessories and act the way normal women do and You Will Be Accepted. Not as a woman, of course, but as a human being with an interesting wardrobe, courage and good taste. There's less out there to fear than you think

[Alana Westenra]

This is the best thread I've read on the site so far! Thanks for sharing. everyone!

It has taken me about 7 years to reach the point I'm at where I love being a straight man, and then occasionally get all pink-foggy and sieze an opportunity to go full-on Alana. It ends up being this like secret performance art project, with deep roots in who I've been all my life. At various points I really condemned my Alana self, and I thought 'if I heard someone saying the things I'm thinking about her, out loud, I'd be really pissed at that person. I'm getting pretty good at projecting the person she is, but I've never gone out as her.

[SaraLin]

(from the OP)

What scratches your "itch"? Do you just want to wear feminine clothes? Do you want to have a feminine body shape? Feminine walk? Act like a woman? Would you be satisfied wearing male clothes with traditionally feminine patterns and fabrics?

Ok, here goes...
It's more of an ache than an itch. The more feminine I can feel, the less discomfort.
Just feminine clothes? NO.
Feminine body shape? I WISH!
Feminine walk? SURE.
Act like a woman? MORE LIKE BE A WOMAN.
Male clothes with feminine patterns? WHY BOTHER?


Where do I fall on the spectrum? I don't feel like I exactly "fall" on it. Instead, I feel like I'm in a tug of war and being scraped across it.
At one end of the rope is the "inner" or "real" me, pulling me toward the GG end (or as close as possible)
At the other end of the rope are social expectations, my SO, finances, physical reality (my born-into body), etc.
It sometimes feels like I'm being torn in half, but I've managed to find a place somewhere in the middle where neither side feels the need to pull quite as hard. It's not exactly comfortable and it's not where I want to be. but at least I can breathe.

Sorry - feeling a bit dramatic this morning, I guess.

[CarlaWestin]

............and kind of become the tall, classy lady of my dreams. But, after several hours, am exhausted, and glad to to back to my guy mode.
Married DADT and IDW2SI. It started for me in my teens when I realised I could temporarily become the (buxom) woman of my dreams. Over the years, I've enjoyed every imaginable costume or character.
My adventure also has a lot to do with pictures and videos. There is quite the creative expression. I love the experience and I love going back to guy mode. It's generally more comfortable
and I'm good at it. As a sexy maid in heels or a uniformed housekeeper with proper foundation garments I can't get chores done as efficiently as I can in jeans and a t-shirt.

[fun4metoo2004]

Wow, good question. I consider myself a 60 year old crossdresser. I like the look and feel when I dress, and the very few times that I have had makeup on I like what I see in the mirror. I have been celibate by choice since my divorce, so no significant other to confer with or fight with. I do wish I had someone I could confide in that I am close/intimate with.

Sexuality wise, I consider myself bi-sexual. I have not had any encounters while dressed, and would prefer to dress more and perfect my makeup. Makeup for me is a slow and unforgiving thing for me. I seem to be all thumbs.

Currently, I am not dressing at all. My home is up for sale, all my items are packed away and living in my RV (Caravan for the UK people), so going thru some withdrawals here.

I am trying to lose some weight so that I can look better in the outfits I want to wear.

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

After many years of dressing and trying to perfect my look, feelings, shape, and mind, I clearly fall on the rainbow spectrum on the female side in every way with all of the female benefits and pleasures. However, any kind of surgery or hormones is not part of my well thought out decision. It is what it is and I hope everyone on the spectrum is confident and joyous about their decision. I am glad that all of us are where we want to be or are at least working to get there.

[Visitor]

For most of my life I associated my desire to wear a woman's undergarments, specifically a brassiere, as evidence of my being a pervert. That meant, of course, that every time I indulged in such behavior, which happened intermittently over the decades, I felt shame and eventually purged my stash of lingerie. I indulged a few fantasies through porn but for the last 20 years I haven't engaged with crossdressing in any form... that was until Covid arrived and I entertained the possibility of engaging with my fantasies with the intention of accepting rather than rejecting those feelings. It was that decision that led me to this website and a few others focusing on men with a fascination with their own breasts and wearing brassieres. I appreciate from being with kindred spirits... that is men fascinated with the feminine, not with respect to the women in our lives but within ourselves, that this topic is very complex and we each have our own unique way of engaging with our fantasies. I see that on this thread, for example.

I know I've never been a particularly masculine man. I've worked hard at times in my life to develop a more muscular, lean body, but it never happened. There has always been a bit of softness to my body. In retrospect I understand now that I developed gynecomastia in puberty that never resolved, as often happens when boys turn into men. I didn't have large breasts, but then I didn't have a flat chest either. I was a bit embarrassed by my body and tended to avoid situations in which it would be on display... like swimming, or spending time in gyms, locker rooms, shared showers.

I've been aware the last year that my breasts have been growing, which makes sense given that my libido has been much diminished. I've read that while women's hormones diminish with age, for men testosterone diminishes but estrogen continues to be produced. Add that piece of information with the fact treating some health problems associated with aging, such as BPH, can disrupt hormones even more... leading to breast growth. At this time in my life, my fascination with brassieres is being met with growing breasts that actually look pretty fine in an underwire brassiere without padding.

I know I'm a man and there is nothing in me that feels I need to transition, but then I'm definitely enjoying having breasts and occasionally wearing a brassiere. In fact, when I put on a brassiere I seem to slip into an altered state that fixes my attention on my breasts and nipples. I don't put on women's garments but I will put on a tight fitting tee shirt or turtleneck that shows off my very real bosom. I don't feel a need to pass, or for that matter to be seen with my breasts enhanced, but occasionally I will wear a brassiere when out and it invariably stirs my juices. In those moments I have a hard time keeping my hands off my breasts.

I've no idea what any of this means... if it means anything at all. But I'm still working with acceptance and allowing myself to indulge when and how I wish. Since I live alone I don't need to negotiate this with anyone else. I have told three friends, one of whom is my former wife. She is remarkably supportive of my intention to end shame and find a healthier relationship with these desires. I'm glad there is a place like this where such matters can be discussed. These are important conversations. Having support for our exploration is much appreciated.

[Kristyn_Lynne]

I need both halves of myself to be complete. They are almost separate personalities. I remember as a teen wishing somehow breasts could have zippers underneath so you could decide whether or not to slip in implants or leave it flat for being a man.

[Jillcder]

In the past putting on a dress and maybe pantyhose was enough but now dressing completely with shoes, padding, wig, accessories and full makeup scratches my crossdressing itch.

[JennasPanties]

I was always very content with cute panties and maybe a bra. But it seemed now instantly I needed stockings and garter. Then heels and skirts. Now dresses and full Make up

[fly2188]

My wife was asking me similar questions the other day.

I would like my body to be more feminine. I have no desire to outwardly present as a woman, but I do wish my breast were large enough that I couldn?t hide them. Maybe a fuller butt too.

[Brandi Christine]

I've been dressing on and off for years, and the more I do it, the more I want to, and when I do it is all the way, not too many curves but I'm reasonably skinny so no padding other than my breasts. And yes I try to present as much as I can as a woman in my very limited outings. As for female patterned male clothes, no.

[nancymo4242]

I've been dressing ever since I was 6.
Of course I didn't understand why I wanted to wear Mom's clothes, but it sure was exciting to try and not get caught by her!

But a few years ago, I started reading up on crossdressing and I knew right there and then that I didn't dress up just for the kicks. I did/do it because it's part of who I really am.

I secretly identify as a woman, even if I pretend to be a man in public. I would start transitioning, if it weren't for my family who could stop talking to me if they found out.

But I'm definitely gonna start going out as a woman next year, when this is all over and when spring starts.

Eventually, I will come out to everyone as Nancy, the real me.

Cheers!

[Natalie5004]

Suzanne,

I love your response. As a guy that has "wife issues" and has mentioned it multiple times, I see your point. I have been out as Natalie multiple times.
Natalie

[DebsUK]

Straight crossdresser (in abeyance, possibly for good). Avid wearer of (flamboyant women's) leggings at the gym where I love my girly classes and I'm almost always the only guy in the studio. I try (very feebly) to dress kind of androgynously. My casual clothing style I decribe as "lesbian skate punk", but anyone else would describe it as "middle-aged man trying to hold on to his youth" If I had the choice, I'd wear more feminine clothes and the odd slick of makeup. Hell, if my wife wouldn't freak out, even now I'd just shave my body hair and maybe wear the odd pair of female jeans, but her and the fact we have a young son mean it's just not on my radar at the moment

[Janet Devon]

Katie,
Welcome.I understand how you feel. I have been cross dressing since I was 12. I agree that sexuality seems to be a big part but as time goes on, for me, it becomes more how fully I can look like a cis woman. At 60, I have a manly face and although I keep myself reasonably fit, my body is still a man's body. My legs look pretty good. Anyway, I accept that I am a cross dresser and am addicted to buying and wearing women's clothing.

[Robyn n TN]

I consider myself a part time trans woman. I can't transition due to kids and work. So I am Robyn for 2 or more week nights and most of the time over the weekend. I go out as Robyn when dressed and have traveled as Robyn regularly. I am single and live alone so I don't have to worry about a spouse or SO. I never underdress and rarely dress unless I am going out.

[Jade P]

I accept that I am gender fluid. I started with pantyhose when I was 10. When older I would buy pantyhose and later feel guilty and throw them away. Hid this from everyone except wife knew and she didn?t approve. I made multiple promises to not wear them again. Occasionally have worn other women?s clothing and make up. Three years ago, 29 years into our marriage, I wrote letter to my wife about my issues and that I accept myself and cant and wont be able to stop. My issue has progressed into epilating body and leg hair. Wife will have no intimacy with me. I cant blame her she isn?t attracted to a feminine man. My issues with being gender fluid cause us to live as loney married friends.

[Amelia_Rose]

I'm content with being a part time woman. I have no desire to transition, and I've done much soul searching over the years on the topic. I've finally settled and accepted myself as a straight man, who just sometimes likes to experience life from the female perspective. I want to go all out in terms of appearance, so that means wigs, makeup, body-shape and voice, to see if I can achieve a believable female appearance that I could take out into public. Long term, I am happy switching back and forth between male and female appearance at will, but I see myself remaining a husband to my wife for life.