Continuing the journey

[Angela Marie]

As I have posted perviously I have begun to come to grips with my femininity; specifically acknowledging my transsexuality. My feminine side comes through whether dressed fully or not. Yesterday I had to go to the Apple store. I slipped on a pair of Hanes jeggings and a nice feminine shirt. Previously I would have felt very self conscious; always looking around for a reaction. Not any more. Now I simply feel a sense of contentment that I am able to honestly express myself. Has anyone else experienced something similar?

[GretchenM]

That is wonderful, Angela. And the best part is that it has become so comfortable and natural. That clearly says that you have a combination where most everything is in sync and you have found a place where your brain is saying, "Now you are really you."

[GwenHerself]

I was really worried about painting my nails at first. I stuck with a color that could be "manly". After a while though, I recognized how happy it made me and how insignificant the act was. I mean, who is going to attack me for having paint on my nails? If anything, they'll just think I'm eccentric! Now I have sparkly purple nails. I feel more comfortable and more Gwen.

Now I just need to work up my courage to dress fully.

[Helen_Highwater]

Angela,

I think I know what you mean.

I'd been to the cinema and it was I think the last film to finish that evening so the cinema foyer was quiet as I left. Stepping outside and walking to the car I was then aware of just how natural and normal it felt. This was me, out for the evening just going about my business. I'm usually fairly relaxed and confident while dressed anyway but this was something different. Difficult to put fully into words but inescapably different.

When going out I'd try to channel that feeling as I went out the door as it was something that was a milestone in my journey. So pleased for you to find your place.

[Lana Mae]

It is the feeling of contentment from you just being you! Doesn't it feel wonderful? Best wishes on your journey! Hugs Lana Mae

[DMichele]

Angela,

I too feel comfortable in my presentation, which I strive to use choose appropriate attire for the occasion.

[cindylouho]

Congratulations on making the next step Angela, I so look forward to getting there myself.

[Felicia M]

So awesome Angela! ❤️ ❤️

[AngelaYVR]

I bought my last phone at the Apple Store all dressed up. It is an odd materialistic sensation that completing a transaction also completes a part of ourselves.

[docrobbysherry]

Congrats, Angela! I have gone out dressed to vanilla venues often but never enjoyed the experience.:sad:

I don't enjoy just throwing on a few fem things or dressing to blend. That's not me.
And, when I go out fully dressed I don't enjoy the attention, positive or negative, which distracts from the reason I went out in the 1st place.

Or, how nervous and stressed I feel!:doh:

[adelinapa]

I'm in tights or women's jeans and a fem top most days, so i get it.

You being comfortable with you is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.

[Jillcder]

I am out of town for business this afternoon after checking in to my hotel I showered shaved my legs carefully applied my makeup put on my wig dressed in a cute skirt and boots and headed out for a coffee without any hesitation. Just came back to my room walked in the front door through the lobby in the past I always came in a back door my comfort level has increased tremendously during my journey. Also the lady at the front desk gave me a knowing smile.

[sometimes_miss]

My feminine side comes through whether dressed fully or not.
That's because it's not 'a side'. It's you.
Lots of CD'ers feel the need to distance themselves from anything feminine, so they talk of their female feelings/behavior as 'a side', or even in third person as if it's someone else, anything to avoid facing that they aren't 'all male, all the time'. It's understandable; from the moment we're self aware, we're told that being girly in any way, is the worst possible thing we can be. And it's reinforced by both sexes; female pronouns are routinely used as insults to us, by other people both male and female, teachers, coaches, military commanders, girlfriends, wives, etc.. Sissy, or the 'p' word which I can't use here, aae the worst insults that others think they can used when they want to insult us. The phrase 'man up' is used against us to imply that we aren't behaving as males, and that it's unacceptable. So it's no wonder at all, why so many feel the need to do this.
But we can't progress, until we face that it's us, it's all us. The female feelings, the desires, the hopes, the dreams, the satisfied, relaxed, comfortable feeling we have when we feel we are finally wearing what we feel we're supposed too wear. All of it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Angela :hugs:, Sounds like you are starting to live the Dream, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Angela Marie]

That's because it's not 'a side'. It's you.
Lots of CD'ers feel the need to distance themselves from anything feminine, so they talk of their female feelings/behavior as 'a side', or even in third person as if it's someone else, anything to avoid facing that they aren't 'all male, all the time'. It's understandable; from the moment we're self aware, we're told that being girly in any way, is the worst possible thing we can be. And it's reinforced by both sexes; female pronouns are routinely used as insults to us, by other people both male and female, teachers, coaches, military commanders, girlfriends, wives, etc.. Sissy, or the 'p' word which I can't use here, aae the worst insults that others think they can used when they want to insult us. The phrase 'man up' is used against us to imply that we aren't behaving as males, and that it's unacceptable. So it's no wonder at all, why so many feel the need to do this.
But we can't progress, until we face that it's us, it's all us. The female feelings, the desires, the hopes, the dreams, the satisfied, relaxed, comfortable feeling we have when we feel we are finally wearing what we feel we're supposed too wear. All of it.


Everyone I think agrees that we all have varying degrees of masculinity and femininity. I do understand your point though. When I was growing up, i'm 66, those stereotypes you mention were in full force. For instance I wanted to take ballet. I'll let you guess what the comments were. So yes I do have a male side, and will always have one. But my original point was that I have accepted the part of me that I truly identify with intrinsically. I appreciate your comment. I always love to hear others thoughts on our journey.

[Cheshire girl]

Yes I agree there are sometimes everyday things you do when dressed that are a big step forward. Interacting with people in shops is a typical example. Just filling up the car and going to pay was a major step for me as was shopping in a supermarket. It doesn?t have to be the girlie things that are important though having nails done or buying makeup when dressed is great too.