Whats A Gurl To Do

[Joy Carter]

So this is the big question, Am I nuts or what ? I'm hardly a fashion plate at six foot two hundred and fifteen pounds. There is no way Tonto that this masked man will ever pass. So why do I do it why do I love it so It's not the thrill any more it's just like I feel it's my identity the real me is being held back.

[Kimberley]

Hi Joy

So enjoy!! Lots of us cant pass for even an amazon but we still love who we are.

Hugs
Kimberley

[Bernice]

It's not the thrill any more it's just like I feel it's my identity the real me is being held back.

I think you just answered your own question. Dress for success, happiness, and comfort, and never mind the bigots. It's harmless, and it makes you feel better. Be at peace with yourself.

Hugs,

Bernice

[Crisack]

One of the things I've picked up on this forum about passing...who cares? Unless your goal IS to pass, that is. For myself, I've always liked my masculine arms. It's always clashed with a feminine illusion but it certainly doesn't change how I feel about dressing. I dont' think you're nuts at all. It's probably just who you are, I know it is for me. Now who was talking about a girl body builder fantasy?...

[joannejoanne]

WE are what we are and if it feels right and makes you glow, let THEM do the worrying not you.:happy:

[Seven]

LOTS CAN NOT PASS, I AM ONE, BUT I ENJOY WHAT I DO, So please Sis just make the best of it, and enjoy each moment, I find great help here, and understanding, Sisters. This is a part of my enjoyment just chating with the girls.

All my Love Sis

XXXXXXSeven

[Eric/a]

Most of us probably have a limit as to what we can wear en femme and still pass. (Well...if there are any of us who don't, I'm jealous!) We might be able to wear dresses, or even mini skirts, with high heels and so on, but laying out by the pool in a bikini might be a different story! I couldn't pass for a woman in one of those, but I could still FEEL like one, and that's about 90% of the thrill for me. Whenever I wear fem things, I like to think of myself as the woman who might have owned it - might even be wearing it at that moment, come to think of it - if I hadn't bought it before she could. I feel like I'm "taking her place" in a sense. I've often thought CDing is something where you have to let fantasy more or less take over once you reach the limits of reality.

[Julie Avery]

Joy, I'd love it if I could pass, but I can't, it's just something I've had to accept, like accepting that I'm never going to be a millionaire or an astronaut...I'm reminded of the line in "Circle Game" - "his dreams have lost a lot of grandeur, coming true". And for me, crossdressing is still "a dream come true". I feel as though I'm nearer to being "all of what I am" when I'm as feminine as I can be, and it's one of the greatest feelings on earth, even though I know that in some ways I just look like a man in a dress. Heck, that's what I am!

[DanaJ]

So this is the big question, Am I nuts or what ? I'm hardly a fashion plate at six foot two hundred and fifteen pounds. My dimensions exactly!

[steffie39]

I think we are at times all fixated on passing to one degree or another. What I have leaned during the brief time I have gone out en-femme is even when you don't appear to pass, you can still look pretty. Getting compliments that you look pretty can give you such a warm and wonderful feeling, even though the "pretty girl" is really "a guy in a dress." I think over time. though if you internalize you are a woman when dressed (i.e., mannerisms of women come through in your femmme personality), this wil come through and help make you even prettier. If you physically pass but don't feel pretty (possible for some), that is not as good as feeling pretty. You always want to be pretty on the inside and if so, you will definitely be pretty outside. :)

Steffie

[Jennaie]

So this is the big question, Am I nuts or what ? I'm hardly a fashion plate at six foot two hundred and fifteen pounds. There is no way Tonto that this masked man will ever pass. So why do I do it why do I love it so It's not the thrill any more it's just like I feel it's my identity the real me is being held back.


Joy:

You answered your own question.

Jennaie :be:

[Marla S]

So this is the big question, Am I nuts or what ? I'm hardly a fashion plate at six foot two hundred and fifteen pounds. There is no way Tonto that this masked man will ever pass. So why do I do it why do I love it so It's not the thrill any more it's just like I feel it's my identity the real me is being held back.
Passing might make it more easy and is a good justification, because you fit in the "standard esthetics", but that's not the point IMO.
I had to learn this, but there is a "men in dress esthetics" too.
Browsing through the Gallery you will find quite a few "men in dress" pictures. A lot of them just look good and beautiful, especially those where you can see the self-acceptance and inner beauty. That's a point every CD can reach. So, try to find your style, be yourself, even if you will never be able to pass (like me).

[sparks]

Joy! Passing is not even in my thoughts! But I still often feel crazy for wanting to dress! I suppress the desires and go about my drab life! Yes it hurts and wonder why it is always in my thoughts from morning til night! It is part of me who am genetically? perhaps, mentally for sure!
I love my life generally and my wife and my little nose goblins! They all get me through the days!
Does this answer your question? Probably not! But those are the answers I seek too.

[Joy Carter]

I really appreciate the answers and advice I have so richly received from this forum. I appreciate the friends who have thoughtfully sent messages of encouragement and mostly to the one who has been kind enough to lend an ear. Thank you one and all.

Joy :D :D :D :D

[trannie T]

The thrill is in the dressing. If one is able to pass that's nice but most of us don't.

[Bev06 GG]

Stop worrying.

My partner would be rumbled if someone took a good look at her, but for me and for her thats not the issue. When I go out with her on my arm I dont care Im still dead proud of her. Infact, if they say
"Hey thats a guy dressed as a woman, but hell he's done a good job"
Id be as pleased as punch.

I do makeovers for CDs and I have to tell you there are a only a tiny minority of guys who's pass without a question. They are usually in their teens or early twenties, hardly any facial hair, have great skin, bloody good legs, and quite frankly they make me sick. (Only kiddin).

You have a great attitude to it all so dont give up. I wish more of you took it more in your stride. We can all take ourselves too seriously sometimes so its really refreshing to meet someone like you.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[Rikkicn]

The "real you" is being held back. Now you just have to figure out who is doing the "holding back" and tell them to stop it! It's your life, mind and body and you can do what ever you want with it. So there!

[Danielle/Mo]

Joy--I am about the same size as you and don't completly pass either. I have kind of come to realize that there is a difference between passing and looking presentable. The few times that I have been out I received compliments even though people knew what I was. Passing is a tricky thing and no one is going to pass all of the time. Other things come into play besides looks such as your voice, the way that you walk,etc. I have decided that I am going to try to do the best that I could ( try to carry myself better,learn more about makeup,etc) and just have fun with this.

[Bev06 GG]

Joy-- I have decided that I am going to try to do the best that I could ( try to carry myself better,learn more about makeup,etc) and just have fun with this.
Way to go Danielle, and with an attitude as healthy as that you'de probably get away with a hell of a lot more than if you took life too seriously.
Take care
BEVxxxx

[paulaN]

Just have fun with it. that's what it's all about. life is to short.

[Joy Carter]

Thanks everyone for posting !

JOY