Am I transitioning?

[Angela Marie]

Since I now identity as transgender I have a question on transitioning. I am not going to fully transition via SRS. But I am presenting more and more in the feminine mode even when not dressed, and affecting female mannerisms. I understand there are various levels of transitioning. Does mine qualify? Just a question for my own edification. Sometimes all the terms and when they can and cannot be used are confusing.

[Teresa]

Angela,
If you remember Marcelle ( Isha ) she called it social transition , it always stuck in my mind because at the moment that's how it is for me , if life is good what does it matter ?

Marcelle was a major in the Canadian army and was accepted as the female equivalent , sadly no longer visits the forum .

[Jean 103]

Teresa is right it is called social transitioning. It is something you're actually supposed to do before surgery, to prove that you can handle living as a woman.

Also what you have down there is nobody's business, that is unless you're dating.

The best piece of advice I would give is to be consistent. Don't go back and forth on people. Once you present female to someone , from then on always present female.

Yes if you are living as TG woman, presenting female you are.

[Angela Marie]

When I asked about transitioning I should have been more explicit regarding my situation. I do consider myself transgender. For now presenting as a woman mostly means continuing to wear my leggings and some feminine or gender neutral tops and hopefully wearing some nail polish to the gym soon. I have not come out to anyone, and am still trying to determine when and who I should tell; in consultation with my wife of course. I think accepting myself as transgender was an important first step. I feel in my mind that I am transitioning, albeit slowly. Hope I provided a bit more clarity.

[Teresa]

Angela,
Jean is right on two points , once you get on that road try not and turn back to male mode , I appreciate that is hard at times it's really finding the belief in you and sticking to it . It came home to me when I went out with my TS friend people don't know what you have or don't have down below , she they will give you the benefit of the doubt .

To a point forget about the clothes whether they are gender neutral or not as long as you wear what is appropriate , I held off for some weeks wearing a skirt to my art sessions but when I did no one noticed because it was appropriate .

My transition had to happen quicker because when I moved to my new home after I separated I'd already decided I was going to live my life as Teresa as much as possible ,very few people know me in male mode which make things much easier .

[Nadine Spirit]

There are those who say a gender transition must contain certain things. But what things are often debatable. Some will say you are only transitioning if you do ________, and that if you don't do ___________, then have not really transitioned. For example some will say that if you do not have GCS then you have not fully transitioned.

But I personally prefer to see "transition" as simply a change from how you once were to a new state of being. Whatever that new state of being is. Maybe it is mental, maybe it is physical. Some examples from my own life....... it was a transition for me to begin dressing fully as myself and telling my wife that I wanted to get out of the house. Prior to that I had only ever partially dressed as me and never anything outside of our house. But then I changed. And then much later, when I chose to begin seeing a therapist, admit I am transgender, and probably transsexual, and I changed my hormones, that was another transition. I hormonally transitioned, a physical thing, but I also mentally transitioned as I began to think of myself differently. A year later was when I decided to finally socially transition and I began presenting as me full time, which was another transition. But even now there are those who will say I have yet to "fully" transition, because I have yet to have my GCS. But I have transitioned, I have changed immensely, several times actually. And I will continue to transition.

[DMichele]

Angela,

I agree with the responses regarding what transition entails, but I really relate to Nadine's explanation that transition is a change. For me the biggest change was self-acceptance, which led to mental transition, and a can do attitude. My gender identity became clear and I was happier.

I dress as I want, only donning women's clothing, and go out with or without a wig. I feel confident and strive to be sociable.

In the end, I believe gender identity transition/change is a personal choice we all have to make. I hope this helps.

Michele

[Robertacd]

You know all we can really do is recite text book definitions and give you our opinions of what transition means to us...

But honestly only YOU can answer that question about yourself.

[Maid_Marion]

A huge factor in transitioning is the concept of medical necessity and insurance. Or, to put it bluntly, many people will opt for something if insurance will pay for it and decline if it won't. Insurance only pays for medical necessities.

Fact is, certain diagnosis in the right place will give you a "blank check." I see this with Autism. A kid gets a diagnosis and all the therapists want to get in on the "cash cow." The kid gets stressed out because he can't handle that much social interaction.

For transgenders, the right place is a high paying job that has excellent medical benefits. Having insurance pay for GRS isn't going to happen for most low paying jobs. Which means you need some sort of financial windfall.

I had speech therapy two decades ago because I was in the right place at the right time for it to happen. Turns out that it was just what I needed to push me over the edge and be identified as female on the phone.

Marion

[Jean 103]

Nadine Spirit

Is right , especially about people's attitude towards the word and how it is applied.

It doesn't matter in the real world. Simply find what works for you. I know a whole lot easier said than done, it's why some refer to it as a journey.

[Ressie]

My transition had to happen quicker because when I moved to my new home after I separated I'd already decided I was going to live my life as Teresa as much as possible ,very few people know me in male mode which make things much easier .

Teresa, what happened to the friends you had previously before moving to another town? It seems you would have to move quite far away to start a new life with completely new friends and acquaintances.

[docrobbysherry]

If u think u r transitioning, Angela, u r!

Remember the phrase, "I think therefore I am.":thumbsup:

[Teresa]

Ressie,
I now go back to my old town as Teresa so all my old friends at my art group accept me as everyone else has now , I built my confidence up in my new home town so I really didn't have a problem apart from my ex-wife but she's getting there . There's only twenty miles between the two towns .

Marion,
I wouldn't say insurance companies are the total problem even in the US , of course we don't have the same problem in the UK as we get most of our support through the NHS .

Nadine,
It's very nicely described I'm sure Marcelle saw it in those terms , I know it makes perfect sense to me .

[Aunt Kelly]

Transition has very little to do with what you wear. Period. And as Jean points out, it has nothing to do with what surgeries you've had. If you are living as the gender not AAB, legally and socially, you have transitioned. Yes, some choose to muddy the waters with the term "medical transition". I suppose it's as accurate as anything else, when it comes to describing the steps many of us take to align our bodies with our identity, but until you are living, full-time, as a woman, you have not transitioned.

[shae]

Once you present female to someone , from then on always present female.

Totally. I've been active in the local music scene here for a couple of decades as Shae, and when I had to hurry to a funeral after work without dressing up, got a LOT of my friends creeping out on me. But hey, on several other web zones, looking at another CD's pix is a bit jarring when they show up in male drab - whether looking like a hunk or a nebbish.

[LeslieSD]

Angela,
Marcelle was a major in the Canadian army and was accepted as the female equivalent , sadly no longer visits the forum .

Isha has been really courageous. She is an inspiration to me. I am also wondering what happened to her. She seems to have dropped out from this forum suddenly.

Social transitioning is very tough, not any less than the surgical procedures. While with SRS one has to endure the physical pain, social transition really tests one's resolution and courage. When we are younger, the physical appearance is a big deal, the curve, the skin, and the hair. When we ages, the importance of those factors fade a bit, but the true core issue emerges more clearly. It is the desire to be treated and respected as our true gender. To me, social transitioning is more important than medical treatments in my journey.

[Alexis00]

Dr. Z has some great videos my gf and I have found super helpful. Look around her channel, there may be others you find more appropriate.


https://youtu.be/Nv-AmKrD7fA

[Teresa]

Leslie,
That's where I feel having TS friends helps , I know what they went through and how they live their lives now , I've assessed my own life and considered where I want to be . Just being full time feels right , I find it really tough when I have to go back to male mode on the very few occasions .

Alexis,
Some very useful information on Dr, Zs website .

[Pumped]

Your two threads could be combined. It would clear up some of the thoughts on the other thread.

I have no answers for you, some of this is just up to you. Is the label important? we can not seem to decide where transitioning starts!