First Signs to Others

[laurie103]

I got a little drunk with my wife a few nights ago and mentioned I might shave my legs. Immediate red flags - she looked very upset. Did not think she'd react like that. What experiences have you girls had?

[Megan Nicole]

Greetings Laurie and welcome! After thinking about it, have been shaving my legs for nearly 20 years. Geez! I did not realize it has been that long. Time flies I guess. Being an avid runner and cyclist, I somehow easily convinced her it was just the thing we do. I really didn?t get any blow-back as she just rolled with it. If I recall, I didn?t ask and just did it....I think she was a little shocked at first, but my leg hair was always light colored and fairly thin anyway. She seldom even mentions it, other than an occasional (your legs are smoother than mine,) or something to that effect. But, even that has been a while back. Just the norm now. Good luck! Shaved legs are great! -Meg

[Geena75]

About 7-8 years ago I shaved my legs, thighs and all. I hid it for a while, but came out and told the missus. I told her a half-truth: my legs, especially below the knee, get so dry and itch so bad in the winter that I shaved and applied a moisturizer to control it, and over did the shaving trying to balance out the legs. (true in that my legs do get dry and I'd scratch to the point of drawing blood, and I did keep working my way up shaving). Never touched the female aspect of it. She wasn't impressed (more like disgusted), and requested that I not shave my thighs again, saying it was so "unnatural." Don't shave above the knee anymore.

[Karren H]

Not a good first sign! Might be better to just do it and then jump out of the closet.... "surprise".... No beating around the bush... get it over with and see where the chips fall....

[Sandi Beech]

I would say that over the years shaving has gotten me in as much trouble as anything. While you can take pantyhose off, it takes a while for hair to grow back. My wife won?t let me wear shorts around anyone else when I am shaved so summertime can be really difficult as I live in a hot and humid part of the country. She just will not allow it so I mostly shave in winter months, then it takes a while before I get discovered. As of the last few years she did not really interrogate me about it. Just made me cover up, so I guess I made a tiny improvement. After 3 decades, I guess I am not going anywhere but I am DADT for sure.

Oh and yes, got to be careful when drinking too much. I spilled the beans about dressing at a company Xmas party a couple of years ago to a couple of the employees wife?s. Fortunately the ones I told were not the spouses of those who I work with directly. I was worried about it but it has been 2 years and no blow back so I was lucky.

Sandi

[candykowal]

About 7-8 years ago I shaved my legs, thighs and all.....my legs, especially below the knee, get so dry and itch so bad in the winter that I shaved and applied a moisturizer to control it......
I suppose I have a roadmap of first signs..... *giggle*:heehee:
Like Geena, my truth is I do get dry and itchy skin and my wife knows it. Because of this I epulate and moisturize.
She knows I inherited my mothers skin and that growing up I was pampered and coddled, so I am a bit sensitive as husbands go.
She buys me polyester satin full briefs and I am able to wear silky Dago T's that are very close to a camisole.
I also wear panty shapers do to a slight hernia condition....the shadow of the french cut shaper could be a tell if I am wearing huggers.
Another roadsign are my clear gloss long fingernails as I use to bite my nails.
In order to kick that nasty habit, she has bought me nail polish and allows me to keep my nails above the tips of my fingers.
I also wear a lot of unisex clothes and a few pairs of low heels that can pass for fashionable guy shoes.
My eyelashes are pretty long naturally and lastly, I have 38C pear shaped breasts that are prominent do to a childhood illness.
Ya, I have a few "little" signs.... *sigh* ....it is still a DADT relationship....

[Sometimes Steffi]

Once my wife discovered my "obsession", she made me throw away all my men's night shirts, which were really men's and looked like men's, because they looked too femme. I had to replace them with men's pajamas.

So, shaving my legs wouldn't set off red flags, but red sirens. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I think that I have Low T and the hair on my legs disappeared naturally. However, Low T may have other side effects that I may have to deal with.

[Stephanie47]

Ever since my wife has known me (1971) I have had no hair on my legs. No hair follicles on my calves or thighs and very very fine minimal hair on my shins. Also, no hair follicles at the underarms. Until the last ten years I had no chest hairs and what I have now is minimal. I suspect it is heredity because my father also lacked hair. I also have no feeling (neuropathy) on my calves. Several years ago my daughter was sitting across from me during the summer and asked if I shaved my legs. Nope. I went through the explanation and asked if that was the first time she noticed. I suffer from allodynia which causes abnormal pain from pressure put on the skin, so I am usually shedding clothes later in the day. I can understand a wife getting upset if all of a sudden you go from a hairy gorilla to clean shaven.

As to the lack of body hair my wife says "It is wasted on a guy." She grumbles when she shaves her legs and underarms.

Geena and anybody else who is aging and scratches your legs to almost drawing blood I would recommend getting tested for pre-diabetes. I did that for a long time before an a1c test suggested I was pre-diabetic. I'd scratched my lower legs to drawing blood.

[susanmichelle]

I?m so lucky in so many ways. 1. I have blond hair that?s very fine. 2. I?m not married anymore so no SO to complain and 3. Taking pain meds fir a ruptured disk and torn rotor cuff in right shoulder it caused swelling from the drugs and caused all of my hair on my legs and elsewhere to just go away. It?s fantastic for me dressing or even not as my legs are so silky it?s even more so than when I did shave before losing the hair. I only shave my arms and underarms now other than that. I do shave on occasion as I get around 25 stragglers on my chest.

I really admire what you all have to go through though as I had it tough myself with my last ex-wife even though she knew from the beginning that I cross dressed. Hopefully some day it?ll be okay with your spouses and be able to fulfill your desires to not only look but feel more feminine. Until then just enjoy what your able to and cherish the times you?ve had or will have.

[Paulie Birmingham]

My torso hairs turned grey and didn't match my hair or facial hair. My wife helps me shave it and armpits. I told wife once sparse forearm and leg hair goes grey, it's coming off too
I spend most of summer shirtless on my boat with friends. I'm sure wives noticed. Noone cares

[Teresa]

Laurie,
It's surprising what subjects can sober people up , at least you know how she feels , time to let the dust settle !

[Alexis00]

Guess I?ll be the one to state the obvious. If crossdressing is going to be part of your life, you have to let your wife know. It is very important to plan what you are going to say and when you are going to introduce the topic.

Many crossdressers started dressing before puberty and have been hiding it all their lives. But most women don?t know anything about crossdressing. When they find out on their own, they usually assume either 1. You are gay, or 2. You intend to transition to full-time female. But the number of married crossdressers who are gay or intend to transition is probably a couple of percent. Whereas my parents caught me crossdressing a few times and assumed I was gay for the rest of their lives.

There is an ?Ask a GG? thread here and sometimes saintly spouses speak up. But if your marriage is important to you, go slow, have a plan, and establish some communication.

I?ve been ?outing myself? since a dramatic breakup in my 20?s. My guesstimate/experience is that crossdressing is a dealbreaker for about 60% of women, 20-30% are tolerant within limits, one out of ten is completely accepting/enthusiastic. So be very careful with your marriage relationship!

[michellecd9999]

If you want to slowly move into this, buy an epilator. I bought one several years ago and started on my legs, arms, chest, etc. Blamed it all on growing older and losing testosterone. I have slowly removed most of the hair on my body. I also started having my back waxed, then my shoulders, then chest then stomach. She sees the hair gone. I have not waxed or shaved my legs and they are not totally hairless, but almost/ Legs and arms are the last to be hairless but I do epilate them so they are VERY thin now.

[Deborah G]

Laurie, It is amazing what sets someone off, when you least expect it! I, too, in the past, exercised my loose lips to my my wife, from too much drink. You would think that shaving is no big deal, as you see her do it all the time! But, I'm sure she is thinking you have somehow "changed" and she does not know what this means for your relationship. I don't know your exact standing or how close you are to your wife. You have two choices, in any case, I would let the dust settle a little first: 1. Shave anyway and better to ask forgiveness then permission, 2. Have a thoughtful discussion with your wife, about why you want to shave and what it means to you and the two of you. This is a bit of uncharted territory, as I said previously, so gauge her reaction as you go. As was said, better to live and fight another day then die on the battlefield that day.

For me personally, I chose the second and although not complete understanding achieved, at least toleration on her part. I will say that the things that were a big deal years ago, are now water under the bridge, thankfully.

[Natalie5004]

Crossdressing is part of my life. My wife knows it, so I am "out" to her. She says it is a big secret that she cannot talk about with anyone.
I shave my legs at least 2x a week. Shave all my body hair which is not much.
She has not purchased me any femm clothes. She does buy us lotions and creams and facial kits.

Maybe I will get a matching cute sleepwear set she has from Costco. I asked for one in a different color, in my size of course. She said she would get it for me. It is super soft.

[Star01]

I started shaving everything from beard to toes, got my ears pierced and a couple of tattoos while I was at it. I was in a fog and it was the early 2000?s so I did not have this resource to consult.

It creeped her out and she confronted me and said she doesn?t want to see me dressed or know about it. Since then we have gotten into our late 60?s and her health issues changed the dynamics of our relationship.

I am one of those people who discovered dressing in my early teens. In defense of not telling her all those years I like many others didn?t understand it and laughed it off as a passing kink I had grown out of. When it came back years later it blind sided me even though I admit to having hints over the years. With many of us it wasn?t like we knew at 5 but we woke up to our situations later in life which precluded telling our SO up front. Now we are trying to sort it out late in life.

[Krisi]

If shaving your legs bothers your wife, that's something that you should not do, at least for now.

I "trim" my body hair with a man's groomer (electric). I still have hair but it's shorter and not as obvious.

Not knowing your situation regarding crossdressing between you and your wife, I can't really offer much except to say that if you think you're going to dress in the same home as your wife lives in, it's not a matter of "if" you get caught, it's a matter of "when" you get caught.

Think about that.

[Star01]

laurie103, I will add one more comment on shaving one's legs. I don't know about everyone else but when I kicked that door down I must have ruined the hinges because it's not going back up. At least in my case I have dysphoria about shaving smooth and I soak in a hot bath and do it every other day minimum, sometimes every day. I did that since around 2004 and this past spring I gave in and shaved my hands and forearms. I sensed a few prolonged looks but nobody ever said a word and I wear shorts all summer. On the one hand I have never been out of the house dressed but I have been shaved smooth for at least sixteen years and took the final leap this spring.

If you're anything like me in regard to your shaving I'm just going to put it out there that once you do it you'll never want to grow it back. I still catch myself feeling good all over sometimes when a silky smooth leg brushes inside my pant leg. It's one of the most awesome feelings, I love it. Now if my hair wasn't so darn thin on top and I could grow it down to my butt like I had always wanted to. Funny that when I was in the service all I could think about was long straight hair down to my butt and I never made the connection but now I realize it was my inner female persona speaking about her hairstyle preference. Anyways, once you shave it's pretty hard to go back to being hairy.

[CrossKimmy]

I have been shaving my legs regularly for the last year or so and I think my DO has gotten used to it. She doesn?t necessarily like body hair so I?m lucky in that respect. Other than the occasional innocuous comments about how mine are smoother than hers lol. I?ve told her than I like the feeling and she?s just accepted it. She has told me that I?d she has to do it so do I and I?m more than happy to oblige 🤭

[Star01]

I think I coined a new phrase about shaving. "once you do it you'll never want to grow back". That is kind of catchy.

[Krisi]

In some cultures and social circles "manscaping" is the norm and men keep their entire bodies shaved.

Not mine though.

[WandaRae2009]

I actually started shaving my legs before I came out to my wife. I had wanted to but never had the nerve fearing her reaction. I was complaining that my legs were itchy from the hair. She commented that it bothered her in bed as well, and she said why don't you shave your legs. Well.... she didn't have to tell me twice. I shaved them that day, and that was like 15 years ago and have been clear of hair since. I slowly moved up to the rest of my body. She never has said anything. I thought that when I came out to her, she would make me grow the hair back, but that didn't happen. At this time I only have hair on my head.

[Star01]

I actually started shaving my legs before I came out to my wife.

Same here. As the saying goes "sometimes it's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission". Oddly enough my wife has no issues with me shaving and having pierced ears. I am at an age where I don't wear studs or earrings except when I crossdress and she doesn't want to see that. Our last talk was in 2004 and we sleep in separate rooms (age and no more blanket boogie due to her health issues so we both like it that way). Nothing is ever said so I can't complain as she is keeping up her end of her DADT demands. Anyways, I went the "ask for forgiveness" route with neutral results.

[Geena75]

I am fairly furry, and my spouse likes it that way. To clean off all the non-feminine hair would require a lot of time and assistance. And it would be very noticeable -- a sure sign. Also, I'm pretty comfortable with it, especially in the winter.

[Alexis00]

Years ago, came into work after a night out, and a week or more before Halloween. Was talking with one of my female coworkers and she said, “It looks like you have eyeshadow on?” I turned red as a beet. Made sure everything was removed from that day on and she definitely was looking....

[BTWimRobin]

The "bug" hit me later in life and I was already had 20+ years invested with my wife. There is no way I will let my CDing jepordise my marriage. When I came out to myself, I immediately came out to my wife. The first thin she asked me was if I planned to shave my legs. I said only if you don't have any issues with it. She said have at it and I never looked back. I wish she would have asked if I wanted to get my ears pierced...maybe one day.

[Geena75]

Years ago, came into work after a night out, and a week or more before Halloween. Was talking with one of my female coworkers and she said, ?It looks like you have eyeshadow on?? I turned red as a beet. Made sure everything was removed from that day on and she definitely was looking....

A few years ago, I experimented with eyeshadow (a dark green as I recall) but nothing else. When the missus got home, she asked "What happened to your eye?" I realized I hadn't washed it off! I quick took care of it, claiming it was some sort of dirt. It hit me later that I had run an errand to Aldi's in the interim. I wonder if anyone noticed, and what they thought?

[Alexis00]

A few years ago, I experimented with eyeshadow (a dark green as I recall) but nothing else. When the missus got home, she asked "What happened to your eye?" I realized I hadn't washed it off! I quick took care of it, claiming it was some sort of dirt. It hit me later that I had run an errand to Aldi's in the interim. I wonder if anyone noticed, and what they thought?The first adult crossdresser to take me under her wing said: “If you crossdress, you’re going to get caught. If you go out, you are going to get read.

Neither is in any way life threatening.”

[JennR]

It was shaving for me too.
As a young adult (early 20s) I was visiting my parents and wearing shorts and my mom noticed the lack of hair on my legs.
I kind of stumbled through a response - I had just started mountain biking and said it was easier to bandage / clean the inevitable wounds when I fell off the bike when my legs were free of hair.
I am sure she didn?t really believe it though as she had previously found a stash of my female clothes when I was 18 (while I was away for the summer) threw them out, but never spoke to me about finding them....
Jenn

[Vickie_CDTV]

I got a little drunk with my wife a few nights ago and mentioned I might shave my legs. Immediate red flags - she looked very upset. Did not think she'd react like that. What experiences have you girls had?

She obviously isn't happy about it and she will probably cause you major grief if you do. I'd reconsider doing it.

(Of course, if the shoe was on the other foot and a husband tells his wife she has to shave her legs when she doesn't want to, he'd be torn to pieces for it...)

[Jillcder]

This made me think 5 years ago I removed all facial hair I keep my chest smooth and shave my legs during the cooler months of the year maybe my wife knows more than I think. Your wife?s reaction is what scares me about having the big talk I love my wife and hate the thought of hurting her.

[CarlaWestin]

Once upon a time, a female coworker mentioned that it appeared that I was wearing clear nail polish.
When I said she was the only one that noticed I was told that everyone noticed, she's just the only one to say something about it.