Making Friends

[Liz Jones]

Hi,
The thought has crossed my mind quite a few times after reading someones blog about going out/meeting friends--how do you make fiends?I have the view that this could be a risky thing to undertake--have been told not to aproach someone if "read"&having looked at the web for local groups &noted their blogs gave me the feeling-not for me!
So having noted a number of people on here making comments regarding meeting others--how?
Not that i am thinking of dashing out (of the closet) but it might be of help if practical sugestions were made.......
Liz

[Alexis00]

Just rejoined a local support club called The Tiffany Club. There might be something similar in your area.

[Robertacd]

Well how do you make friends when you are not dressed? Have you tried that... :doh:

The best suggestion would be to try to find a local CD/TG support group or CD/TG social club that has events in your area.

Honestly I have made most of my local TG friends just going to LGBTQ friendly bars and clubs.

[Lana Mae]

Find someone here who lives close to you and suggest a shopping trip or getting a coffee! Go in male mode if that makes you comfortable, but only the first time! Just PM them first and make the arrangements! I met one of the girls on here and got my first helicopter ride! We had lunch at an airport restaurant! Yes, she is here in NC but a good ways away! I also took a trip to Texas for a GNO(girls night out!) My first time out was a drive and showed me no one really cares if you are dressed or how you are dressed! I passed 2 police officers and road construction with a flag man! A few butterflies but all was fine! You need a Big Sister to take you out when you are ready! Maybe some one reading this will notify you! Best wishes with this! Hugs Lana Mae

[Samm]

Just rejoined a local support club called The Tiffany Club. There might be something similar in your area.
I've been to TCNE a few times, and met a few ladies from here each time. It is an invaluable resource for our area.
Alexis, pm me any time. I'm always looking to meet new friends!

See how easy that was....? :D

[Stephanie47]

Decades ago when my wife and I had "The Talk" she told me it was alright with her if I found a support group. That was the early 1980's. There was none at the time and I suspect there are none in my immediate area that would fit my age group. There is a youth oriented support group/social group, but, being in my 70's it would not be a good fit. And, those kids are just finding their way. I am totally comfortable within myself. It took some time to get there. Perhaps, I was my own therapist and also adopted coping skills learned in PTSD counseling or self examinations. Another issue that always crops up in my mind is what else would I have in common. Sometimes it seems easier to have a brief encounter based on some commonality rather than developing a deep friendship.

[docrobbysherry]

Liz, almost all groups communicate on line. Most thru Face Book! While I came out in public because of a national event lots of CD.comers attended 13 years ago?

All my local group connections came thru my Sherry, trans Face Book, page! U can find T groups near u that way, too!:hugs:

[jamiesnj]

I would kill to meet people in my area but I’m very nervous

[Robertacd]

Decades ago when my wife and I had "The Talk" she told me it was alright with her if I found a support group. That was the early 1980's. There was none at the time and I suspect there are none in my immediate area that would fit my age group.

Well honey if you are still looking I would recommend the Washington Gender Alliance (http://washingtongenderalliance.com/), we have people of all ages in the group and are doing group meetings on Zoom every Wednesday and Thursday.

I usually attend the Wednesday meeting and would love to see you. Drop me a PM if you want as I don't go by Robertacd in the WGA.


There is a youth oriented support group/social group, but, being in my 70's it would not be a good fit.

Try the The Emerald City Social Club (https://www.theemeraldcity.org/), you will find people in your age group.


And, those kids are just finding their way. I am totally comfortable within myself. It took some time to get there.

You know younger people could benefit from your experiences and would appreciate your advice.


Perhaps, I was my own therapist and also adopted coping skills learned in PTSD counseling or self examinations.

Frankly me too, most of my life I had nobody to turn to but myself...

[Aunt Kelly]

Support/social groups are the way to go. Until we're able to gather in meat space once again, there's lots of time to find one or more groups that might be a good fit.

[Blynda52]

Hi Liz, We are trying to get somewhat of an organized zoom meeting setup here, its a work in progress.

[Teresa]

Liz,
I assume you mean dressed as Liz ?

Social groups when they reopen are a good safe way of meeting others , most will allow you to attend in male mode and most offer changing facillities . My group always meet in a hotel which can be daunting for some but a good way of coming out to the general public . This is how I managed to build my confidence to go full time as Teresa .

I should also mention wives/partners are welcome to most groups , we estimate 25% attend with them .

[Sandi Beech]

Hi Liz,

I am kind of like Robertacd in that I mostly met people in LBGTQ friendly bars and clubs, and I have been to a lot of them. I am a little concerned that as I age it may be a little more difficult to meet up with the younger crowd, but some clubs will have folks who are a little older. I was in a Denver club called Blush n Blue one time and it was a little more lesbian oriented as I recall, and the women were still very very friendly to me. Covid really stopped my outings for now, but hopefully someday I will get to go back to having a little fun. I never was really exited about meetups with other CDs. I have hung out with some in bars, but the point was to go out and meet people, not to go hide in the corner. I have found it to be far easier to meet people in clubs than anywhere else. That is just my experience so I do not really have any need for support groups. I just like to share my experiences with others hopefully to encourage some who want to go out but have difficulty with getting over the fear. I sure do understand the initial fear. 30 years ago, just wearing pantyhose into a store when buying something would have me so rattled I could not pay for something without my hands literally shaking. I have come a long way since then. What has made the difference for me is the number of accepting people I have met. I would not trade that experience for anything.

Sandi

[Liz Jones]

While i had myself in mind it was posts like Jamiesnj (seepost8) that made me wonder if it was possable for folks to give their idea's.To those who have responded -thanks!
Liz

[Sandi Beech]

Hey Liz,

I just thought I would mention that I am starting to avoid recommending what people should do because I do not want to give bad advice. Only you can know what?s right for you. I just try to share what has worked for me in hopes that it might help some in the evaluation of options which are out there. I wish you well in your endeavors. Take care.

Sandi

[Sometimes Steffi]

There must be 50 ways to meet a CD

1. I started meeting girls from here, sometimes in boy mode, sometimes in girl mode, but always in a public place first. I usually meet first in a restaurant for lunch or dinner. It's always good to agree on some ground rules in advance, like this is social, not for play (sex). I usually do recon on the meeting place before the meetup.

2. Once I met some girls from here, they introduced me to their friends, who introduced me to their friends, etc. There are several social groups in the DC area, and we met regularly until COVID. I hung out at vanilla bars with groups of CD/TG girls, and many Halloween and Christmas outings.

3. Some girls in my social group convinced me to come to the Keystone CD/TG conference. Often arranged to meet girls from here at Keystone. I had been to 8 consecutive Keystone Conferences until they were cancelled in 2020 and 2021 due to COVID.

4. Arranged to meet girls from here when I would travel. Once I rode in a CDs car (which would normally be a gross violation of my safety protocol) to a restaurant and shopping event in Denver, but only after I had checked her out with a CD friend who had moved to Denver.

5. Sometimes met girls from here when the were travelling to DC.

6. Arranged to get several makeovers at out of town locations.

I try to pay it forward, and there are several girls who are full time now that I helped somewhere along the way.

If anyone is interested in more details, PM me. I've met about 1/3 of the girls on my friends list FtF.

[Karren H]

Took me years of getting to know local crossdressers online first before actually meeting them in public. I have done that a number of times and developed some good friendships. But I always questioned their ulterior motives, assuming they had any, besides just friendship. A couple did want more than just friendship and hey... if that is what you want then go for it. But I just was looking for friends who shared the same interests. Have gone out for lunch and dinner with a few friends and have had a couple dressing get togethers which were a lot of fun. Especially when one friend had an amazing beaded wedding dress that fit me like a glove!!

[Liz Jones]

Hi,
Thanks to all who responded, quite apart from myself theirs a number of people who would benefit from makeing friends. Hopefully your posts will help those who for whatever reason feel alone BUT as they say in Scotland -cae canny(go carefully !)
Liz