Full time

[NicoleRenee]

Today I did a major step in my transition. As of today I will be Nicole full time with a few exceptions. Until I get my name changed I won't dress at work and for certain appointments between now and then I will show up as male but will tell them next time I will be Nicole. I am so excited for this step and all future steps. It is a relief that I am becoming my true self. So so excited. Next Thursday I will be seeing a new doctor to start HRT. There has been some disappointment along the way finding a doctor but I now have one. One thing I have learned from that. Never give up. I was at a point of giving up and my wife stepped in a fought for me with the business manager at the practice. Found out there was a work around. Yay me!!!

[Teresa]

Nicole ,
I agree never give up , thinking about the alternative is what drives me on . I jumped in at the deep end and decided as soon as I moved I would be Teresa full time , OK I have to accept male mode just a few hours every so often but I'm almost there now . It's great your wife fought your corner with your business manager , I was on my own in that respect . The one thing that surprised me was how quickly people forget what the guy looked like , the bonus of that is some have told me they prefer me as Teresa , I can't believe next month it will have been three years for me and not a single regret .

I hope your HRT goes well , please keep us updated , best of luck .

[Lana Mae]

That is wonderful news! Thanks for sharing! Sounds like you should be cheering for your wife! Best wishes on your journey! Hugs Lana Mae

[DMichele]

Nicole,
Great news! Congratulations and kudos to your wife for her support.
Best wishes.

[Krisi]

That's great that your wife is supportive. Many of us don't have that support.

[NicoleRenee]

It's funny how people like you better as Teresa. My wife sees a change in me just from going full time. Others haven't seen it yet.

[Megan G]

Full time is 24hrs per day, 7 days per week....it is going to work, going to appointments, visits with family as your true self... dressed as your perceived gender. What you are describing is part time.... AND THAT IS OK!

But don?t water down what full time truly is, being full time means your out 110% of the day, no matter how uncomfortable the situation may be...it means not presenting as your birth gender ONCE.... not even to visit your mother/father/children..... or go to work which is 25% of your week.

I?m happy for you that your making progress in your life and i wish you the best.....

[Krisi]

I have to agree with Megan, "full time" is 24/7. You sleep as a woman, wake up as a woman, go to work as a woman and make love as a woman. It's hard to make that change after living for many years as a man, but if that is "you", you have to do it. It's a permanent change.

Best of luck to you.

[Jeri Ann]

I agree with Megan also. Full time means exactly what it says, 24/7/365, no safe place, no other identity, no escape clause. It is an exclusive female identity facing the world in every situation as a woman.

[Lana Mae]

I have to agree with Meghan, Krisi, and Jeri Ann! Full time is 24/7/365 period! Woman always with no escape to any other identity! Now on the other hand you can be part time and that is OK too! Just be you what ever that is, but be sure to define it correctly! Hugs Lana Mae

[Nadine Spirit]

After living for much of my life in a state of part-time, full-time is for sure different. There is no I am full-time except. If there is an "except" then there is no full time. There is nothing wrong with not being full-time, but don't diminish your own experience of when you will actually really be full-time.

[Teresa]

I see the question of full time as climbing a rickety step ladder , it's not always possible to keep your balance on the top step and sometimes you have to dip your toe on the next rung down to steady yourself .

I still accept for couple of hours possibly every six months I want to see my grandsons , so I have to be grandpa otherwise I wouldn't see them , it hurts too much to turn my back totally on my family , it's all I have , at my age I won't be getting another bite at that cherry !

Nicole is getting there , she is taking small steps that mean so much to her , how many of other members have taken one step forward and two steps back ?

[Jeri Ann]

It is ok to take as many steps in any direction you need to, it really is. No one is criticizing anyone's life style. Do what you must.

But, full time is different than what was discussed at the beginning of this thread.

Those who really are legally, socially, professionally and psychologically female who live 24/7/365 as female, with no guy outfit in the closet, know the difference. There are not two different presentations or identities. It is a completely different mindset.

And no, there are not different versions of full time. Be what you want, when you want. It is ok.

[NicoleRenee]

I guess I misspoke. Let me just say this...I have rethought things(steps) through. I have one dental appt this week that I will dress for. I am doing all the legal work for nicole at the end of the month, which is final step for me to be Nicole at work. Moved that up about 2 months. Everything else I am living full time as Nicole. I hear what all you are saying. Thank you.

[Krisi]

We all have to do what works for us. If you want to live full time as a woman and that's your goal, I wish you the best.

[Teresa]

Nicole,
I must admit I had concerns about my last appointment at the dentist because for so many years I'd been attending in male mode , the other problem was I retained my dentist in my old home town and it's also the same practice that my ex-wife and son uses . The receptionist didn't bat an eyelid in fact they were lovely , my dentist must like blonds as he didn't stop smiling at me , which he has never done before .

They are all steps we need to take to move forward if we want to accept living life as a woman .

[Devi SM]

The title of the thread is Full Time so I have to agree with those that disagree on the treatment of the concept because I do full time, in fact, few days ago I sent the remains of male clothes to my brother but it was a while that there was nothing male in my closet but the only thing that remains there is a leather jacket that my mom, with so much sacrifice, paid for me and is kind of androgenus because I can keep wearing and, as my wife said, looks great on me.

Nicole already clarify what she was trying to say that on the very near future will be full time.

For me, to go full time, was a last minute desicion. I was driving for Uber and have a therapist session. So I was dressed, at the end therapist ask me what I was going to do after, I answer I'm gonna change and keep driving, so he asked me why don't keep working as you? So I got the challenge, even though that first day, not just playing to dress as a woman but working as one, was a nervous day, I couldn't come back.

I had to face the problem of my driver license and other ones, so now I'm full time but I find it an irrelevant concept because the other was the fake. As many said, there's no full time, less than that is just playing, pretending, no exceptions, I did talked yesterday with my only grandson, he's 11 and half years old and after a short explanation, he told me had noticed way back and was happy because he had seen me happier and nicer with him, that's true.

I'm not longer a Christian pastor but one sentence sounds in my mind with a powerful sound, " and the truth shall set you free" you can't be part time truthful....

Devi

[Sarah Doepner]

NicoleRenee,

I'm happy for you, the progress you have made and the support you have. I didn't plan my transition very far in advance and mostly played it by ear. When the time was right to begin hormones, I got the appointment. When it seemed there was no longer a reason to deny I am transgender I started coming out and last spring during lockdown I just stopped being a guy. I did crossdress as him once to sign papers for my home refinance since my name change was in progress but not done, and even that was mostly femme.

I'm not suggesting I didn't think about these choice, I did and often worried about them to my own detriment. But when it was time I was able to move forward. We each have our own path and time schedule, so don't let other's definitions (even if they are correct) put you off. I'm happier now than I've been in years and I wish you the same kind of success.

[MarieTS]

I would like to add to Jeri Ann's succinct and accurate definition by saying, ... and once you get there (her description of full time) IT IS A RELIEF! You know have finally fully arrived and a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You no longer worry about full time, being made, etc. Instead, you embrace your status knowing you never have to go back. And just maybe a little smile upturns the corners of your lips as you recall the long ago sadness of having to switch back from drag to drab, or the fear of stepping out enfemme. Now all that is all behind you as your new life -- the one you were always destined to have -- has finally and fully arrived... forever.
That, is Full Time!

[Ann Louise]

If I may add, now that I and my spouse (both in our 60's) have been in covid self-isolation since early March, 2020, I have had little to no incentive to wear many of the nice clothes I've accumulated, mostly for vacations, and similarly for make-up, like, what's the point? These many months of no one but me and my mirror have given me an extended period of self-appraisal regarding just what does my feminity mean to me?

Now that the clothes and make-up have temporarily been rendered nearly irrelevant, the person looking me back in the mirror is very unforgiving of self-deception, and, under her stern gaze I seem to have undergone a second transition, further towards the essence of what womanhood truly means to me, rather than what it means to society.

Now, double facemasks have really stressed the importance of my eye make-up (lol), and the hope of the vaccine has me eyeing my summer clothes (and plane schedules, too), but I do not think I will soon forget that the true aspects of my feminity I have found in my heart, not the mirror, and how I should regard myself and others is with kindness and an open mind.

Stay safe everyone.