Two things

[Di]

Do you underdress? I read on here many do. Sherlyn did not and always felt like her no matter what she wore.
So I only encountered it reading here , does it help when you can not fully dress?Nothing wrong with it I just have not experienced it so do not understand it why would it help? Do you not feel like you! Clothing changes how you feel ? Enlighten me.

2)It there a certain thing that when you put it on it makes you feel complete?

[Lululover]

I underdress every day. Panties and sports bra. I've been doing it for about 10 yrs. Nobody knows. I also wear women's Old Navy Jeans that pass as men's. I work in a all Male environment so I need to be careful.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I under dress every day in panties and hosiery.

Depending on what's going on at home I can be dressed as little as I want or a lot.

[Cacique82]

1 I underdress in panties
2 I don?t know about ?complete?, but when I put a silky nightgown at night on it feels right.

[GretchenM]

Di: Most of the time I may be a lot like Sherlyn. In terms of identity I am mostly Gretchen most of the time anymore. And what I am wearing doesn't make much of any difference. That said I am not exclusively female-like as there is large dollop of male-like in there as well. I wear panties about half the time; maybe a little more. That has little to do with expression and most everything to do with comfort. Men's underwear tend to be made with a rougher fabric that reminds me that it is there; women's underwear, cotton or synthetic, tend to vanish when I put them on. Much more pleasant. I do sometimes wear a nylon sports bra type garment from Hanes. While under the prostate cancer treatment I grew a nice small pair of boobs (gynecomastia from androgen suppression) and I really don't like the feel of those under my clothes or how they look - a little containment makes a big difference. Does that link to a strong female-like identity? Kind of but it does not really provide much of a booster shot to that identity. It is just a matter of dealing with an issue with my morphology and anatomy. To me, gynecomastia boobs flopping around in your shirt is not very attractive and makes you look really older than you are, and at 75 I really am not interested in looking 80. :D

In general I find women's casual wear to be much more comfortable than men's. Men's tend to be made of a harsher fabric while women's is often a softer fabric and perhaps better quality fibers.

To me, underdressing is insignificant compared to clothing color. Men's clothes are, well, drab, although that is changing a little bit. Bright and intense colors are not as common in men's clothes. So for casual wear I much prefer the brighter more intense colors and the softness of the stereotypical, so called feminine colors. Color is devoid of gender, but gender embraces color. For a very long time humans have used color to make statements (body painting, decoration, and clothing) as well for blending in like camouflage. That has not changed.

[Michelle1955]

Do you underdress?
Yes, daily.
Does it help when you can not fully dress?
Yes always.
Nothing wrong with it I just have not experienced it so do not understand it why would it help?
Undressing is what smooths out the internal need in my head.
I do not need to be fully dressed in female cloths to feel female. I am female internally in my head.

Clothing changes how you feel ?
No spending time to change in various outfits is a waste of my time. I dress casual and do my daily routine.

2)It there a certain thing that when you put it on it makes you feel complete?
After I put on my panties, the next thing is the bra that makes me complete and smooths out my internal needs.
My cloths can be just everyday work cloths for working around my garden, landscape, shop, and feeding the goats.

3) I currently do not require all the nice clothing to feel me / female. As I get older my needs are changing, but I am handling it for the most part. Would I go 24/7 if my internal feeling got worse - sure. Would I pass no.

It is about managing the internal need.

[sweetdreams]

I have in the past much more than today. For several years now I wear panties 24/7. It feels more authentic. If I look at a pair of panties and a pair of men's underwear, I know what I want to put on. Nylon is much more comfortable than men's cotton underwear and a whole lot more feminine.

Since I started going out in public fully dressed and presenting as female, underdressing has lost some of its appeal. I would rather put on a dress or blouse and skirt.

We do have grown children at home who don't know about this and it hampers my desires. As a hidden compromise, I will sometimes wear camisoles, garter belts and stockings, around the house and it does make me feel complete. If I'm going out in public, I'd much sooner get fully made up and present as female.

[CD Rachel]

Hi, your question is a good one and caused me to spend some time in introspection. When I was young (say 5 to 27) there was a thrill associated with crossdressing. Under dressing then was a way to maintain that feeling and a way of feeling like I was getting away with something that was taboo. I stopped crossdressing to accommodate my wife when I had come out to her and she freaked.

Later in life when my crossdressing had started again (around age 40) I did not under dress and that was the way it was up until 2020. More recently in the past few years (7 to 10) I have felt more and more uncertain about my gender identity and only recently have I come to accept that I am not who I thought I was. As I have come to accept that in myself my way of crossdressing has changed. I no longer feel like I need to dress up to the nines. Just dressing everyday female casual and I feel affirmed in who I am. During the past 6+ months I have been under dressing again just to keep a part of that feeling of affirmation. I have actually spent more time dressed female then male during this recent time (past 3 months) and am beginning to dread putting on the “boy” costume when I go to work or leave the house.

There is no one thing that I can wear that makes me feel complete, but anything that keeps me from being fully in "boy" mode helps alleviate the discomfort of not being able to express who I feel like on the inside.

My experience may or may not be typical and I am looking forward to reading the responses of others on this topic. I wonder are my feeling more like a crossdresser or more in line with a transgender?

But thank you for raising this question. I have learned something about myself and have a little better understanding of the Ray/Rachel that is me.

Rachel

[Alexis00]

Rachel - thoughtful post!

I underdressed to sign my divorce papers. Matching... But had no one to tell!

[Sporco]

I am trans and older with a family, friends and a good job. The personal cost to transition is a price I'm not willing to pay. When I was young transitioning was not an option in our society. So, when I have to be in public, it's only in drab. Underdressing helps this in that I can pretend I'm a girl in boys clothes for work or whatever I need to do. Women do this every day in many roles. I wear as much as I can safely get away with. To me its my standard every day thing. If I had to go back to mens wear it would cause a major increase in stress and depression from dysphoria, which I've learned to manage the way things are.

[Teresa]

Di,
I can't speak for everyone but for me it was pushing the boundaries , getting use to how the items felt while meeting other people . Wondering if they noticed and how they reacted . I gradually felt OK and more confident , mostly stepping stones to where I finally made it fully dressed and stepped out the door .

OK it was possibly slightly erotic at times but that passes with time .

After a while it's also a way of learning what is comfortable and what isn't , sexy underwear is lovely but it's doesn't work everyday , I like to be comfortable now .

Rachel,
I now feel it's not crossdressing , male mode feels more like that as I feel more uncomfortable and awkward .

[Jill_cd]

Rachel, great post. What you wrote encapsulates how I feel. I, too, wonder if my feelings are more in line with being a crossdresser or a transgendered person.
I do underdress. I was considering dressing as Jill (dressing and attempting to blend) today and going shopping, but COVID will keep me indoors. Besides, make up is too expensive to get dressed to the nines and only hang around the house.

[DanielleCD]

I will underdress on occasion... just panties and a bra. I'm a different person when I do this... part of my feminine aspect is soothed by this. Don't know why but I accept and enjoy it.

[CarlaWestin]

Really Di?

I come on to the site with the intention of combining two thoughts in one post and the first thing I see is your post.
Oh, I'm still going to do it. Trust me on that.

1) I wear panties exclusively and I really don't know why. It doesn't satisfy any need or anything. And men's soft cotton Y fronts are actually comfortable.
I just like wearing panties.

2) There's a mirror on a dresser in my closet. After dressing jewellery and makeup, I select a nice wig, put it on and then turn and look in that mirror.
Hello, Darling!

[Helen_Highwater]

H

There is no one thing that I can wear that makes me feel complete, but anything that keeps me from being fully in "boy" mode helps alleviate the discomfort of not being able to express who I feel like on the inside.


Di,

Most days I will be under dressed in tights/holdups (winter wear) and knickers. Like Rachel, it's simply a way of staying in touch with that femme part of me as well as not finding male underwear that inspiring.

[Cheryl T]

I used to but now 90% of my clothes are from the women's section so I don't consider it that any longer.
I've worn only panties for nearly 20 years, all my socks, jeans and slacks (except for 2 jeans for dirty work), 3/4 of my tops and 80% of my shoes and boots are all from the women's section. Now with Covid I'm dressed daily so underdressing isn't a thing for me any longer.

What one thing makes me feel complete?
That would be my hair. Granted they are wigs, but once on everything just feel right.

[April Rose]

Now that I am alone I am dressing femme, sans wig or makeup, every day that I don't have any kind of appointment.

I notice that, when I have to go out, but am reluctant to change, under dressing helps me get out the door. Sometimes I will just swap my skirt for a pair of slacks, put on an overcoat and out the door I go.

Sometimes I wear my maleness like a straight jacket, and anything that mitigates that will bring some relief. It might be clothes or doing embroidery or buying flowers. I guess that means that, while I have no intention of transitioning, I'm not just a crossdresser.

[Rachel05]

I underdress everyday to some extent, I wear panties every day and have for several years now and increasingly wear a bra under my male clothes, not everyday but it is increasing that is for sure

I love to fully dress but work in a male dominated industry and it definitely would not be well received, so under dressing works for me, it makes me feel good

I think the thing for me is, and always has been, wearing a bra, I feel at one with myself once I have one of my bra's on, but I feel complete when I have bra, panties, hold ups, dress and shoes / boots on that is what makes me feel at peace with myself, happy and content

[BobbiKay]

I underdress daily. Panties, at least. Many of my socks are from the women's section, either sheer-ish or knee socks that would look good under a skirt. About half of my jeans are women's. Sometimes a bra or camisole under my shirt. Sometimes a pastel undershirt visible under my work shirt. If it's cold, leggings under my jeans.

Why? At first it was a thrill, to get away with something. As I get more comfortable with myself, it's becoming an affirmation that I'm more complex than the manly man that the world expects and I have pretended to be for years.

A particular thing? Panties.

[docrobbysherry]

I tried underdressing when I first started dressing in my 50's. But, it was uncomfortable and soon became unsatisfying!:thumbsdn:

I dress all the way or not at all these days!:heehee:

[Sandi Beech]

Years ago I used to wear pantyhose under my clothes in winter, but since I am in a DADT relationship I do not bother any more. It is not worth attempting to wear something every day and get harassed over it when caught. I just have to dress up fully when the opportunity is available which for now is almost nonexistent.

Sandi

[NancySue]

Being sequestered, I dress every day and night. My favorites include panties and bra. When I go out, I?m always under dressed, as our small town wouldn?t understand or accept seeing me dressed.

[Stephanie47]

1) Some days I do wear panties; white or black. Those colors will compliment the men's jeans I wear' black, blue and brown. I do not wear panties every day. Because I read so many on this site underdress I gave it a try. I donned a bra, panty, camisole, hosiery (pantyhose or stockings with a garter girdle. It actually did nothing for me other than be a bother when out and needing to go to the bathroom. I ditched that level of underdressing.

Gretchen made a comment (#5) about men's clothing to be drab. Not so! That's the mindset of many males, especially in the business world. Look at any picture of the "power elite." Dull, boring and uniform in nature; white shirt and red tie. I worked in a governmental office for over thirty years. I was required to at least wear a dress shirt and tie. I did not wear a white shirt once. When I finally yanked it out of the closet it was tainted yellow from lack of use. Actually, tossed it in the garbage. To work I wore an assortment of solid color dress shirts that ranged from dark blues to light pastels. I also had a wide assortment of colorful ties with designs and sometimes cartoon characters which sometimes were selected to send a message. Now, as a retiree I wear graphic tee shirts and shirts with collars that have patterns. As to whether male clothing is less comfortable than female clothing is not born out by any visual observations I see. Men and women seem to wear the same jeans and shirts. Foot wear? All the same. I do agree a woman may feel more comfortable in the summer heat wearing a freely flowing sun dress after she tosses her bra. I think many women curse the crap out of a bra in summer heat. Same with the bikini top of a bathing suit all full of salt water and sand. :)

I do not ascribe to the idea there is some mental differences between male and females. I know many men who would be termed weak because they show compassion, etc. These are not womanly or manly traits. They are human traits. Only insecure male wimps choose to not show these qualities.

The clothing I wear as a male or as a woman are very similar; colorful and with patterns.

[Robertacd]

I think I can honestly say that all of my crossdressing, "underdressing" and all was self help dealing with my gender dysphoria before I came out.

Oh yeah, the one item that always made me feel complete was putting on a bra. Because throughout history men have worn some equivalent of pretty much every article of womans clothing except for a bra.

[Star01]

I used to read about it on here but had not been doing it. I started wearing panties and that has become my daily routine with the only exceptions being when I'm doing big projects where I am bending over and lifting a lot. I don't want anyone who shouldn't to see flashes of pink and lace. As far as bras go they are uncomfortable and impossible for a grab and pay shopper like myself to properly guess the right size. Even if the unexpected happened and I fully transitioned I'd be like my wife and want to "free the girls" every chance I got. I don't think of bras as a necessity to make women attractive and by extension would feel the same even if I needed one. I do understand the need to wear one with many types of clothing and may have to do that someday depending on where this all leads me.

[Brandi Christine]

When I was younger and was crossdressing I underdressed at times for work (retail/loss prevention) as it made me feel closer to who I wanted to be (or at least thought I wanted to be). I think the allure of also doing something daring, risky was there too. Then I stopped crossdressing for about fifteen years and didn?t underdress at all.

I started cross dressing again about three years ago, and have also been underdressing as it is the only outlet I have at home. I truly do not know where I am on the trans/crossdresser spectrum, but underdressing makes me feel feminine, and that feels good. And in a way it helps me express who I am, even if it is only to me, and even if I am only a confused crossdresser.

The one thing that really makes me feel complete is a wig. Once I have done my makeup and am all dressed up that completes the transformation for me, it makes it feel real, maybe not as a woman, but as me, for a time...

[Julie Slowinski]

1) No. I tried it for a few weeks a few years back and it was mostly uncomfortable and distracting.
2) Julie starts and ends with hip pads. I usually start my transformation with the first half of my makeup routine. But at a certain point I put on my hip pads. That?s when I feel like Julie has arrived. Taking them off at the end of the night is also the point at which ?Julie has left the building?.

[Sissy_Michelle]

Di,

Yes, I underdress all the time (bra and panties sometimes hose). Also yes, wearing something allows me to feel better about myself, even though I cannot full dress because of the environment that I work in, as much as they preach the ?diversity training? and I am sure no one would say a word to me because of ?Corporate policies?. I feel as if I would be alienated and left to myself.

If you haven?t experienced underdressing you should try it for about a month. Wear your bra and panties every day and see if you have a greater affection for the clothes you love to wear part time? For a lot of us we have to be able to take off ?Michelle? put her back into a box so we can be our male self because of family, work, or fear. . .

@?-}??
Michelle

[Di]

Thanks everyone for indulging this GG with her questions .
Appreciate the answers .

[Maria 60]

I myself underdress every day. I wear pantyhose and panties after work every day, I like to know I'm wearing something femine, my wife loves that she knows what I'm wearing under. She always ask when we go out what I'm wearing under. It's a part of me and I love feeling the feel of something femine.

[Geena75]

1) Occasionally, but rarely. There were a few occasions back in the 80's when I underdressed with pantyhose. Currently, I might underdress to bed is I plan to dress the next day.

2) The first feeling I got like that was a pair of heels. Then it was the wig. Now, it's the false eyelashes. Someday it may be lipstick. It usually represents the furthest I have gone to feminize.

[Brianne_bc]

I underdress daily for 11 years now. The last 2 years full lingerie pretty much Daily. Funny enough, when I started wearing sports bras ( 42A my natural size) the women really started noticing me probably due to a posture correction from the bra. To the point of getting hit on. I feel awesome when im underdressed, puts me in a much better space and has really helped with all this covid stuff the last year. My gf is fully supportive and loves to help me with my garters when i dress in the morning.

[suzanne]

Its my shoes, whichever ones I choose for the outfit I'm putting together. Many women with whom I've talked about clothes say the same thing. Very often, I've looked at myself in the mirror in the middle of dressing and I'm like "Meh", but then I put the right shoes and I'm like "Yes, that's it". Shoes complete the outfit.

[Kelli_cd]

Underdressing is the only option I have to express myself. Which is okay (mostly). However, reading about experiences here and seeing some wonderful makeup, I would like an opportunity to see myself with a professional makeover and wearing a complete outfit.

[CharlotteCD]

1. I underdress now and again, but the same thought always comes back to me: what's the point? Sure, I am wearing something femme, but it's not about just wearing something femme. I want to BE femme, present as femme and be accepted as femme. I'm not doing any of those if I'm outwardly presenting as a male.

2) I'm Charlotte the moment my wig is on. Sure, the makeup is what completes the look, but Charlotte is my long dark hair - it transforms me.

[Wen4cd]

1. I don't go out of my way to underdress, but I spent most of last year with painted toenails out of convenience. In winter, I often use tights as thermal underwear layers.

2. I'll spend hours in a mirror painting on my face, but I won't feel that "click" until the wig goes on and I trance myself into the looking glass.

[Leslie Mary S]

I rarely under dress. when I dress I go all the way except for maybe the shoes. I go barefooted if I am staying home (My norm since I am a 95% closet Queen.)
Then when I am doing a photo gig for Drag Queens, I tend to get heavy handed on everything including my makeup. It makes the DQ a little more comfortable.

[Amelia_Rose]

1) No, I don't have a need to dress everyday, so underdressing is not something I am interested in doing.

2) I would say the final piece of the puzzle is the hair for me. Once I've got the makeup on and I put on my hair, everything falls into place.

[Teri Ray]

I do underdress on weekends. Panties and bra. My underdressing ebbs and flows with what is going on in my life. For me it fills in the gap when I am not able to fully dress.

[BTWimRobin]

Hi Di,

I switch back and forth from panties to boxers quite regularly depending on my mood. Either one feels right. Wearing panties used to help when I couldn't dress. However, I've worn them so much they just feel like underwear. I've also noticed the same about clothing. On the rare opportunity I can dress for a few days, my girly clothes feel like, clothes. If I had to pick one set of clothes, I would go with ladies. They look, feel and fit better.

As far as complete goes.... Currently, it's having my nails done. That may change as my journey continues.

[SaraLin]

Do I underdress? In the outside world - yes, panties. They're nothing fancy, but not "granny panties" either.
I rarely wear men's underwear - doctor's visits and such.

does it help when I can not fully dress? Yes, it helps - but it's hard to explain why. About the best answer I can come up with is that I feel I'm being "truer" to myself.


Do you not feel like you! Clothing changes how you feel ? I like analogies, so here goes. Imagine yourself going to a concert wearing a nice dress over fishing waders. Nothing wrong with that, right? But you'd still feel that it was inappropriate and you'd be uncomfortable, wouldn't you?
For me, wearing men's things are the waders.
I wear mens clothes on top, because I need to. But underneath, I wear what feels "right" for me.

No, I don't normally wear a bra underneath. They're uncomfortable, and I don't have big enough boobs to need one.



2)It there a certain thing that when I put it on it makes me feel complete? Not exactly. It's not being "more complete", it's more "correct" I in the right wrapper (emotionally, mentally, whatever)

[Krisi]

I wear women's panties every day unless I have a doctor's appointment. Plain women's panties, no ruffles, no embellishments, just panties. I have grown to think of them as underwear and nothing special, but I do like the feeling better than the cotton tighty whiteites that I used to wear. There was a time when I would wear a bra but I no longer wear a bra unless I'm wearing my boobs and presenting as a female.

My jeans and jean shorts are from the women's section but look like male jeans except the fit better.

BTW: It's interesting that a few people mentioned putting their makeup on and then putting on their wig. I know it's a bit more difficult, but I always put my wig on first. I am much more comfortable putting on makeup as a woman than as a male (with short hair).

[Raychel]

Do I under dress?
For me not really I do wear ladies underwear but that's all what I'm dressed as a man I'm dressed as a man

Is there anything that I dress in that makes me feel complete?
In order for me to feel completely myself, is when I am fully dressed as a woman (hard to explain) from the neck down anyway. That would be full undergarments including bodybriefer pantyhose and a dress with forms. That is how I feel to be my true self I don't need a wig or makeup to feel that way. That is why I don't go out in public dressed because I don't know that the world would be accepting and not totally confused about my appearance.

[Taylor186]

Do you underdress? Yes, briefs/panties everyday.

Does it [underdressing] help when you can not fully dress? Daily underdressing reduces my need/urge/desire to fully dress.


[Edit] I will add that I am a basic crossdresser. I suffer no gender dysphoria and even when fully dressed and made up, I feel, on the inside, like a man wearing women's clothing.

[Julie MA]

1. I almost never underdress. I love panties, but they don't fit me comfortably without a gaff and tucking. So, I only wear panties when I dress fem. In fact, I find underdressing stressful as it is only a partial solution.

Any item of women's/CD clothing makes me feel differently. It removes some of my inhibitions to acting and moving more femininely.

2. I think the bra and forms, first, and the wig, second make me feel more complete. A nice dress is a close third.

[DianeT]

Hello Di,
1. I once or twice thought about wearing pantyhose under my male attire as a substitute for actual crossdressing, but decided it would prevent me to go through my day normally and genuinely interact with people. The idea of playing a game in front of people unaware of it seemed wrong somehow, hard to explain. Like, I can't be in an audio or video meetings with a shirt and male briefs, I need to be dressed properly with a trousers even if people don't see me. I totally dropped the idea.

2. The thing that I like most and that really makes me feel complete is when I put on a dress. It's like, tadaa! now I am the part. It always makes a strong impression on me and I feel classy and beautiful (even if a tad delusional). Note that I can feel that too when dressing in smart male attire.

[ClairFlair]

Starting 1/1/2020 I made the resolution to only wear panties going forward. I wear them full time, doctors included. I prefer feminine styles (hipsters and cheeky), and only wear patterns. Like others here I have a couple of pairs of boxer briefs left for landscaping projects.

I feel complete when I wear makeup (mascara, eyeliner, eyebrow fill, and lipstick) and my wig. I don’t like foundation, and since I’m trying to blend in in the daytime feel like less is more.

Thanks to Covid-19, haven’t had the opportunity to get fully dressed since March, but such is life ��

[kayegirl]

I do not possess any male underwear, so from that point of view, I underdress at all times. Over the last 4 or 5 years, I have had several medical examinations, and my undies have never been a problem. My painted toe nails on the other hand, did raise some comments.
Not sure about the second question, but puntying on myour make-up so the part.

[Katherine L.]

Yes, I underdress, mostly in a bra and panties. I have only fully dressed on a few occasions, so underdressing works for me.

[udcd]

I LOVE this thread! UnderDressing CrossDresser is my screen name! Underdressing is my crossdressing, my expression of my feminine side. Wearing a bra and panties every day makes me feel complete. When I put on my bra in the morning and look at myself in the mirror, I can feel a calming sensation. Even my wife has said she notices a difference in my demeanor when I’m wearing a bra compared to not. She prefers me to underdress! There are still some situations where a bra just isn’t practical - under thin t shirts on a hot summer day, family gatherings. I’ve recently ditched all men’s underwear, I just find panties are so much more “me”.

[TheHiddenMe]

1. Yes, on occasion I will wear panties under my male clothes. I have lots of panties and enjoy wearing them. Before I started going out dressed wearing panties was a bigger deal for me.

2. As to what makes it complete, the wig is 1A and lipstick 1B. I don't look "right" without either.

[Leslie Mary S]

I dress because I feel like it, some days or weeks I don't even open my closet or fiddle with the camera stuff set up in the room.

[DanielleDubois]

I tried underdressing a couple of times, panties and pantyhose, but it did nothing for me except make me stressful someone would see the pantyhose or panties peeking out under my pants and socks.

Danielle has resigned herself to being an all or nothing girl, a full transformation is necessary to reach my feminine bliss. I will only partial dress if I am trying on new purchases to see how they fit and what shoe, jewellery etc. combinations work.

For me, putting on the crowning glory of a wig is when I finally see the total Danielle in the mirror.

[candykowal]

Di...I was thinking about this and how do I convey why we underdress...I do, everyday I can without compromising my "husband first" mentality.
You see, for me, I grew up a lot like a girl.
I wore open bottom gowns frilly silky underwear, slips, Jumpers and bras as my breasts were larger than most girls my age.
My Mom allowed this but only at home, for school I had to wear cotton guy briefs, pants and school uniform shirt.
I was so happy to get home and wear my lingerie, so much softer and my breasts weren't flopping and exposed.
It became a ritual to dress after dinner and listen to records while being comfortable.

Today, those satiny clothes still feel so much better on my skin and a bra still keeps hugging me and keeping the girls in check.
So, let me ask you Di, if you were forced to wear guy clothes, no make-up, cotton shirts and jeans, no skirts, no capris, no high heels or cute shoes, no polyester, chanelle, silks, or satin's, no jewelry, to tights, no bra, no girdles or shapers, how would you feel? :battingeyelashes:

[nancy58]

I've been under-dressing frequently for work during the last month or so. The challenge I've given myself is to make wearing a bra and female underwear feel normal, instead of feeling like a sexual activity. Why? Because the fantasy I'm trying to fulfill is being a woman, and real women don't get all excited about their clothes. Sometimes I'll also wear women's pants and a nice tee, but I try to keep it androgynous because my wife and I are both working from home and she doesn't want to see me dressed up. On weekends I've been sticking to boy clothing because we spend more time together, and I may get "lucky" -- but definitely won't if she spots lingerie on me.

So, yes, under-dressing really helps when I cannot dress up fully. And I had a kind of nifty confirmation of how good it was for me last Monday. I was deeply stressed out because we had a plumber in the house replacing a sump pump in a flooded crawl space, and I couldn't get the worry about the cost out of my mind. When he left, I slipped on a bra, and the feeling was so reassuring.

[HollyGreene]

I wear panties every day and have done for about 30 years. It's very rare that I'll put on any male underwear.
I don't underdress with a bra because it seems pointless to wear one without breasts, plus the straps can show under some clothes. However, I do have some of those cotton/lycra pull-on bras, which lay flat against the body and don't generally show.

When it's cold, I often wear leggings or tights/pantie-hose under my trousers, and a camisole or bodyshaper (the type that looks like a leotard) under my shirt.

[josie_S]

this is such a great thread--I've loved reading all the responses here. We really are far from a monolithic group! Thanks Di!

1) I don't underdress, never have. Maybe not never--I have tried it, and like others found it stressful and uncomfortable. It was more of a reminder of what I *couldn't* do than what I could. And I was always so self-conscious about it. Plus, what I really like is the whole nine yards. The feeling when I look in the mirror after I am all dolled up is incredible. That's my motivation!

2) To get there, often what completes the look is of course the wig. But *I* feel complete, weirdly, when I have pretty nails, either press-ons or acrylics. That's my Shania Twain moment LOL

[Asew]

I just wanted to preface my answers in that I am non-binary, for me a mix of the aspects I like from the genders and clothing wise usually coming first to comfort then style.

1) Do you underdress?
No, I prefer boxers. I do have some women's sleep shorts and pettipants that I wear as boxers sometimes.
Does it help when you can not fully dress?
No, clothes people see and that I can see looking down or in a reflection are more important.
Nothing wrong with it I just have not experienced it so do not understand it why would it help?
I can see how it helps others, it just isn't for me.
Clothing changes how you feel ?
Yes, I hate pants and dislike shorts. Skirt and dresses are the most comfortable for me. Luckily I wear then most of the time now.

2)It there a certain thing that when you put it on it makes you feel complete?
Having a skirt or dress. Everything else is just gravy. A nice coordinating outfit is swell though :)

[jacques]

hello Di,
my wife understands and says "it's only clothes"; not everyone else understands why we need to crossdress.
luv J