Self Image

[Geena75]

I recently watched a video on Tedx by a person in drag making the point that what we wear represents the image we want others to see. Not a bad talk -- interesting. It got me wondering, though, how do we feel about our looks?

I don't want this to get all deep and heavy, but just for fun, on the chance it may be interesting. Just two questions.

1) How do you regard your appearance as a man? 1. Below average 2. Average 3. Better than average.

2) In comparison to your male appearance, how do you regard your feminine appearance? 1. Not as good. 2. Just as good. 3. Better.

Not a time for modesty. For those transitioning, probably meaningless. But it is more for those occasional cross dressers.

My answers: 1) I guess 3, based on what I've been told.
2) 1, but improving.

[Wen4cd]

I'm generally happy with my appearance in either presentation, but en femme I am more self conscious about perspective. I can go from gorgeous to hideous depending on a camera angle or from not consciously minding my poise.

[JenniferR771]

Shy and a bit skinny below average as a man. But with the right makeup and hair--at least average as a woman. Or would be, if I were 50 years younger.

[Rachelakld]

1) wife tells me I'm handsome, I just wish I had the same amount of hair as I had when I was 20 (body size is the same so that's a good thing)
2) My body is male, but happy with how it presents in female mode, not sure if I can make any significant improvements regardless of padding.

[Brandi Christine]

Like Rachel my wife also tells me I am handsome & sexy as a man, and I am in very good shape (at least physically...) so I will say at least average and possibly better then average as a male.

When presenting as female based on my perceptions and on the feedback I got from a site I am no longer on I would say I look better as a female, I definitely feel better.

[MarinaTwelve200]

As a man, better than average---save for my weight. As a Female, better than average too---Actually pretty in a way. Still my weight is a problem, but if I am careful with my photo angles . I look just fine. I think I have great legs. ;) Hwy most people don't believe I am 71---even in female mode.

[Angela Marie]

As a man I would say average. As a woman, oddly enough, I would say better. I have a petite frame for a guy, about 5ft 6, 135-140 so perhaps I just present better as a woman. My wife tell me no one would ever know; but I tend to be more self critical.

[Krisi]

I would say I'm a pretty good looking man, considering my age. And so, a pretty good looking woman, considering my age.

As a man, I would probably date me (as a woman). ;)

[CharlotteCD]

I'd say I'm a 7/10 man, a 3/10 female and an 8/10 crossdresser/transwoman.

I make the most out of my looks as a man, and I then try and hide all of those things as a woman.

[SherriePall]

I'll answer this with what a consultant at David's Bridal told me: that I shouldn't be offended, but that I made a better looking woman than man. I told her no offense taken and thank you.

[CarlaWestin]

I love these two thing posts. They seem to be all the rage at the moment.

Let me start with the number one rule of appearance evaluation:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

That being said,

I've often made the comment about some males shouldn't be allowed to be so handsome. You know who they are. The Hollywood types.
So I'm in the two category on that one although, my wife says that I do an eye contact thing that can make a heart skip a beat.
On the female side I can get done up extremely sexy and attractive. But not in context. In a female line up I'd be referred to as the guy with the big boobs.

[Cheryl T]

As a male I always felt Average or maybe below average when I would look in the mirror.
As a woman I feel attractive. I feel above average, not beautiful perhaps, but definitely above average. Perhaps that's just my perception, but that's what counts isn't it?

[Star01]

When the fairy god mother picked me out of the crowd to tap with her crossdressing wand she obviously had a sense of humor. She bestowed gender confusion onto one of the frumpiest out of style unfashionable country bumpkins she could find.

I am not to tall or big so the path to looking nice en femme is achievable but I need a style intervention. I have to accept myself for what I am. A lot of GG?s are not stylish and I see them in flannel and denim all the time where I live. I guess that is where I fit in. I am working on losing some weight as well. The treadmill delivers on Thursday.

[candykowal]

Definitely below average as a guy, my hair on my head is longing to be shoulder length like it was when I was a teen...didn't we all have long hair in our youth?
Today my hair is thinning, my eyes are going, and I carry a spare tire.
My female appearance is #3, much better than male mode and it really helps my self esteem...I do have fun and I am much more bubbly in girl mode!
I will never look as pretty as I did in my youth while presenting as Candice, but it is nice to get out in public, at my age, and be comfortable knowing I can still present and act in a accepting feminine way.

[docrobbysherry]

1. Average. But mostly? Just OLD!:sad:

2. Sherry is usually attractive, hot, and young! She needs to be. Because, I date her!:devil:

[BTWimRobin]

I've always been a bit insecure about my appearance as a Male considering myself either average or slightly below. Women, on the other hand consider me attractive. Go figure.

When I am dressed, looking in the mirror I see this average looking woman looking back. Then I snap a few pictures. Upon my review I realize below average would be a compliment.

[josie_S]

I guess I'd say I'm better than average looking as a man, but I don't always feel like I am. My insecurity has kept me from asking out many many women that I thought were out of my league.

As a woman, I feel pretty...I don't know if I am per se, although I like to think I am :)

[Karren H]

3 and 3!

[Alexis00]

Average or a little better as male, fit but not really handsome. My gf’s tended to be unglamorous with great bodies.

Average at best as a woman. Legs are above average. Of course makeup hair, boobs and clothes make a difference.

[Maid_Marion]

As a guy, definitely below average as I'm short, and it is really hard to buy clothes that fit properly.

Easily above average as a female, as my short hourglass figure makes it really easy to buy clothes that fit really well. Many GGs my age would love to have a 25 inch waistline.
I've been studying fashion to choose colors and styles that complement my body type and skin tone.
I've taken good care of myself for a long time. I've avoided ruining my skin with excessive sun exposure by wearing sun screen and a wide brimmed Tilley hat.
My long hair is thinning a bit, but it still looks very good for my age.

Marion

[Maggie3210]

1) Male appearance is average so 2
2) Female - not so good so 1 (0 from neck up, 1.5 from neck down)

[Star01]

My sister-in-law used to tell me that I look like Tom Cruise about 35# and a million gray hairs ago. Does that count for the male side?

[GracieRose]

If I'm honest with myself, I'd have to admit that I'm probably a bit below average on both counts. Reasonably attractive, but below average. Being somewhat thin and lacking rippling muscle counts against me as a man. The rougher skin and facial features from testosterone poisoning count against me as a woman.

[Jillcder]

Average as a man not handsome but I stay in shape physically. When I first started dressing i looked like a clown but now I have to say when dolled up I look better as a middle aged woman. Great question

[Stephanie47]

1) Better than average. Yes, I have male pattern baldness. I wish I had more hair, but look around. On the plus side I am six foot and 200 pounds. My waist line is 38, chest 42. I have many friends and acquaintances who cannot see their toes when they look down; old and sloppy. Totally out of shape. That does not mean their wives and family does not like them. It just means they could have taken better care of their health and physical appearance that is controllable.

2) There is not too much I can do with those distinguishing aging lines on my face. Forget the visual of someone six foot bare footed and 200 pounds..who is a woman. Totally out of the ordinary. En femme I only wear dresses, hosiery and heels. Presenting as a man or a woman I try to look my best. However, if I want to just 'let myself go for a day or two and end up looking totally 'comfortable' it will be in guy mode. The woman side just cannot see herself looking disheveled.

[Helen_Highwater]

Always difficult to know where you sit on the attractiveness scale so as for the male me I'm going to say average but I can "scrub up well" if I put my mind to it. A good head of hair and blue eyes probably helps.

Femme me I could once only judge by being able to blend into the crowd so that made me think well not too bad on the looks front. That change a little following conversations with other CD'ers who said things such as, " You should have no problems going out" which I took at face value as being honest compliments and not just kind words of flattery. Don't get me wrong, I know I don't pass up close but the magic a wig and a bit of slap can perform can make goddesses of any of us.

[MonicaPVD]

This is a fascinating thread. I have always been told that I am an attractive male. I think I look fairly good as a woman, too. However, I always had huge hangups over the fact that my body is obviously masc. I have wide shoulders, big hands, knobby knees and big feet. When I was younger, I was so hung up about these features that I now understand that it played a big role in deciding not to transition and opting to remain a closeted CD. I was terrified of looking like a sorry MIAD. Ironically, the older I got and the more I was likely to look like a MIAD as youth escaped, the more comfortable I have become with my self image. I will always have my male body characteristics, but that doesn't bother me any more. It certainly doesn't bother the people who are attracted to me. I had to grow old to understand that attitude is EVERYTHING.

[nancy58]

I figure I'm decent-enough looking for a 62-year-old man. I kind of quit caring about my looks after a few years of fatherhood. My femme appearance needs work. I was able to pass when I was going out 10 years ago, but I'm not sure how I'd get by today.

[Asew]

Average for a man.
Less so for a woman.
Better when doing my normal daily non-binary mixing of genders (pick the best parts of both genders).

[SaraLin]

Male mode: nondescript to the edge of invisible. (Nobody notices me much)

Female mode: point, stare and giggle. (based on the reactions I've gotten)

Of course there are exceptions, but these are how I usually see people reacting to me.

[jacques]

hello Geena,
1 - don't really care - try to look bland most times and occasionally eccentric
2 - it's my (private) fantasy world so I can dress however I please
does that make any sense?
luv J

[Tahoegurl]

This is an interesting conversation. Dressed masculine I am average+ but sometimes I am very insecure as I am pretty fem. Dressed feminine I am average+ as I have a good figure. Either way I am usually pretty comfortable with me and how I present. Some days are better than others but I think that is pretty normal. Cheers.

[sometimes_miss]

I recently watched a video on Tedx by a person in drag making the point that what we wear represents the image we want others to see.
So how does he explain those of us who never go out?
The rest:
1) Average, I suppose. Though, I'm not a good judge of how attractive men are, so maybe I can't tell. Besides, with men, the most important things aren't looks. It's: Power, status, assets, confidence, height, and looks are somewhere down the line.

2) At six foot four and over 250 pounds, with a forehead brow bar that gorillas would envy, giant hands and feet, a missing front tooth (was growing in 'snaggle', so mom just had it pulled out) so I have a single 'middle' front tooth instead, and a scar from an operation on my face, I shudder to think of what any woman would go through if she looked anything like me.

[Beverley Sims]

Always been below average as a man, as a woman I still do well these days. I was considered a bombshell when I was 20...... Sigh! :-)

[c2candice]

That has changed over time for sure!

Prior to me taking a serious gender exploration, I felt like my male mode was poor to mediocre. My female mode had not blossomed and only had a SERIOUS interest in clothes, but I had never fully dressed head-to-toe.

Now that I have explored my feminine gender expression I feel very positive about my male mode representation. I?m taking better care of my body which actually helps me feel good about the male AND female presentations of myself. Self esteem improvements in one gender expression lift all parts of me up!!