Busted

[MonicaPVD]

Last March, right before all the pandemonium hit, I was driving through a nearby town returning from a wonderful evening with a friend. It was late and I was dressed in a tiny, very revealing dress and had all my gear on. I was listening to music and my mind was on another planet when, suddenly, I saw a cop car behind me, lights flashing. I pulled over and waited for the cop to do their usual terrified/badass strut to my window. Low and behold, the cop who pulled me over was the adult son of a lifelong friend who was a fresh rookie on that police force. He recognized me immediately but, to his credit, played it straight and was very professional. So professional, in fact, that he gave me a 10 mph over the limit speeding ticket, which was ridiculous and terrible but what could I do. Well, I spent a couple of months fretting over whether or not he would tell his parents that he had pulled me over all dolled up. In the months since, I have had multiple interactions with his father, who never mentioned anything. This past weekend, I decided to get together with my friend and another for drinks at a favorite nearby restaurant after months of isolation. Wouldn't you know that, after knocking back a couple of beers, he turns to me and says, I heard you have great legs! I played dumb and kept talking with the other friend present. Friend #1 followed up, snickering, yeah, my son told me you looked kind of hot when he pulled you over. He couldn't control himself at this point and just started laughing. Friend #2 asked what was going on, he didn't understand. Friend #1 told him the entire story about his cop son pulling me over late one night. Friend #2 was somewhere between shocked and embarrassed. I just sat there, trying to smile and wishing that I could climb under a rock. When friend #1 finished telling the story, friend #2 immediately changed the subject to sports. The conversation continued for another half hour or so until we left. On the way out, friend #2 said, I'm sorry this guy embarrassed you like that. You do you. Don't worry about it. This was one of the first times ever that my two lives have crashed into each other. It was surreal. Needless to say, I'm not particularly pleased with friend #1. This is the life we chose, I guess.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

Monica Friend #1 is not a friend and his son was very unprofessional and you should report the incident to his superiors.
Friend # 2 is a genuine friend

[Krisi]

We run risks when we deviate from the norm. It was an unlikely event that led to this, but as they say "Sh*t Happens".

In reality, the cop shouldn't have told his father. That was unprofessional.

[Jillcder]

Not cool I would have a serious discussion with that jerk! Friend number 2 sounds like true friend. I have done. Multiple 150 mile drives completely dressed and always worried about being pulled over but after reading all the positive comments on this forum about police interactions I no longer worry about it. Stay strong Monica.

[MonicaPVD]

Thanks, Jill. I have never worried about being out and about while dressed. This was just a freak occurrence while driving through a small town with a tiny police force that happens to include someone I know. It's almost statistically impossible to repeat. I'm more offended by my friend's attitude than I am concerned about being outed at this point.

[Geena75]

A 'friend' who looks to ridicule you in front of others is always offensive, even more so on what is a sensitive situation. A one on one conversation would have been appropriate. Maybe he thought it was friendly teasing, but not in public on this issue. You are totally right and mature in your reaction.

He was right about one thing -- you do look kind of hot.

[MonicaPVD]

Hah! Thank you, Geena.

[Crissy 107]

Monica, I agree about the father not being a friend, if you called him on it later he most likely would have said it was just a joke. Yeah right

[MonicaPVD]

Kim, I'll just ignore him for now. If he brings up the matter at some point, I will let him know that I am disappointed in his adolescent approach. I don't plan on hanging around with him any more.

[Janet Devon]

Monica,
I think you would be wise to just stay away , I would just wait. He might decide on his own that he made a major mistake and apologize but if not, he isn't a real friend anyway.

[Julie MA]

Scary, and a little funny. Sounds like you took it all well. As beautiful as you are, maybe jerko was jealous.

Some people are so far in the closet, all they can do is hate.

[MonicaPVD]

Thank you, Julie. I'd like to believe that his inhibitions were down due to the drinks. However, I have no tolerance for a person who might continue to ridicule me or hold this over my head. This episode hasade me think a lot about being more open regarding Monica. I have successfully compartmentalized my life for a long time, but that can be exhausting.

[DianeT]

Monica, I suppose that friend #1 had one too many and obviously skipped the class about subtlety and tact. Friend #2 is clearly a keeper.

[Stephanie47]

You can make a complaint against the officer for unprofessional conduct. If he were to be fired, then the question would arise; Why? Then, the entire story may become public. You can lose control over the situation. Kick father and son to the curb.

[Sandi Beech]

Monica

Gee what are the odds of that. That is crazy and unfortunate. I guess you can see their true personalities. Seems like friend 2 understood how it would have made you uncomfortable and hence explains his discomfort at the situation.

I am not sure I would want to maintain a friendship with number 1. Only time will tell if number 2 is a true friend. Hopefully that friendship remains intact. So sorry.

Sandi

[Meghan4now]

Monica,

Of course this is too late now, but just as a thought, what if you did the unexpected? Embrace the conversation? Basically answer back, "Why, yes I DO clean up well. Your son said I was hot?? Really?? I hope he isn't planning on asking me out on a date or anything. Come to think of it, it seems as if YOU'RE quite intrigued as well. Is there something you're not telling us?"

It's an old Tai Chi strategy, use their force against them. When they push add a little energy in the same direction, and they overcommit and fall off balance. Essentially you flip it on them, and then they have to defend themselves.

Just a thought

[MonicaPVD]

That's a great point Meghan. I prefer not to imagine where that rabbit hole could have led. Lol. I'll just keep my distance for now and let time tell.

[docrobbysherry]

I have been out countless times, Monica. But, not wanting to experience what u did, never near home!
Of course, I could always be pulled over driving to or from an event. But, I don't drink and drive so I'm not worried.:thumbsup:

I live in a county with 4 million people. So I have better chance of being hit by a meteor than being pulled over by someone who knows me!:heehee:

[CarlaWestin]

This is the life we chose, I guess.

When I was your age I was in the mind set of trying to still figure out why I was doing this until the truth hit. This life chose me. This is who I am. Even in DADT where my outward presentation is stereotypical male, I'm still lovely Carla.

Hon, sorry to hear about what happened. You do know that alleged friend #1 was bolstering his bravado fuelled by alcohol, right? This is what insecure people do. And the waiting for a moment to intimidate instead of being accepting and curious like a true friend is unforgivable.

[jamienoir]

That's a truly ugly thing to do, especially in front of another person and then re-state the incident. Deep, deep, deep down in this person's sub-conscious he probably wants to see you dressed (or is interested).

[Natalie5004]

Totally not cool at all. My instincts would be to say that right to his face. That could have been a private conversation if it was needed.

[LIKETODRESS2]

Sorry to hear that, If that was my friend not sure i would be able to talk to him anymore

[josie_S]

[QUOTE=jamienoir;4498277]Deep, deep, deep down in this person's sub-conscious he probably wants to see you dressed (or is interested).[/QUOTE

This was my reaction as well. I wouldn't be all that surprised if he brings it up again, maybe in a one-on-one setting, before you ever do, Monica. He might have been subconsciously testing the waters, so to speak...

[Molly Wells]

Very timely post Monica;
Just today I was under dressed with bra and forms working in my shop and around the house. The weather is in the 40's today so I was layered in a long sleeve pullover and a sweatshirt. The sweatshirt is kind of baggy and my breast are not very noticeable, although you can tell if you take a closer look. I am dadt and am usually very careful when I leave the house in any level of femme mode. But today, I needed to go to the storage unit for some items. I got in my truck with forms still in and stopped at the convenience store for a drink. I figured nobody would notice and to my knowledge I was correct. I did the same thing at the storage unit, had to go into the office for a minute, then spent time at the unit loading items in my truck. All while wearing my forms. In retrospect, it was a real roll of the dice because I could easily have encountered someone who knows me. Probably not the smartest decision.
Also, more along the lines of your experience, through my work and network I have several friends and acquaintances that are law enforcement. I have often wondered what would be the result of getting stopped while out enfemme on one of my outings if the word got around that I had gotten stopped while dressed. Fortunately it has never happened but always a roll of the dice.
I think like others, I would likely stay away from friend #1 and hope the story died.

Molly

[mbmeen12]

he probably wants to see you dressed (or is interested

There it is....and or just so ignorant....

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Monica :hugs:, That is the chance that we take when we go out dressed,

Agree that #1 should not have outed you in front of #2, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[JennyMay]

Monica, first, what a great person friend 2 is. They deserve a thank-you.
Second, friend one is way out of line as was his son. My suggestion is that you say something like this to friend 1 -

‘I feel I have to tell you that your behaviour towards me was unacceptable. It seems to me that, if you got the information about me from your son, disclosing that information to you was completely unprofessional on his part and would damage his career if I complained to his employer. Because we are friends it is not my intention to complain, but I want you to understand that your behaviour was not only unkind to me but put your sons career and livelihood at risk.’

[Renihoward]

Monica, Friend #1 is a Bully. They never change. They are small people and it makes them feel better about themselves to bully others. I?d walk away from that friendship.

[MonicaPVD]

Update: Friend #1 called me this morning. I was on a Zoom meeting, so he left a VM. Apologized for being inappropriate, said he respected me and had no problem with any of it, and *drum roll please* offered to be available to meet up for coffee or lunch with me dressed, as a good faith gesture. Lol. Yes, ladies, those of you who speculated about his motives were onto something. 😂🤣😂

[Sandi Beech]

Monica,

That is an interesting development, and maybe it is ok and good, but I would be wary about taking him up on it. All you need is for him to take a bunch of pictures with his phone and spread it around to the world. If you give it some time you will know if it is ok or not depending on further spreading it or not. Still it sounds good.

I hope it works out just fine.

Later

Sandi

[MonicaPVD]

Sandi, I have no interest in feeding his kinky curiosity. This is a man I have known for decades with whom I have a lot of shared acquaintances, not some random person. Presenting as Monica to him could open up a can of worms. So far all he has is a third-person account. I plan on keeping it that way.

[jamienoir]

Update: Friend #1 called me this morning. I was on a Zoom meeting, so he left a VM. Apologized for being inappropriate, said he respected me and had no problem with any of it, and *drum roll please* offered to be available to meet up for coffee or lunch with me dressed, as a good faith gesture. Lol. Yes, ladies, those of you who speculated about his motives were onto something. 😂🤣😂

GOTDANGIT!!!! I swear I logged in to give further details to my prior comment. That he would probably call you in a few weeks (contact you) and apologize blah blah - and then leave it at that. Then he would probably follow-up with another call/contact to talk more about.

I was almost right. He got right to the point, DANG. This is interesting.

[MonicaPVD]

Yes, indeed, Jamie. You were right. I guess he will have to satisfy his curiosity with someone else. I have never played close to home and don't intend to start doing so any time soon.

[ShelbyDawn]

Monica,

Since he is a shared acquaintance with several others, I would offer this;

When my ex and I divorced, I am positive she outed me to at least a dozen of our friends. I was a scout master at the time and several relationships became strained for reasons unknown to me. I kept doing what I do and being who I was, singing up for camp outs and teaching merit badge classes, after a while, most of the people must have decided that it either didn't matter or that my ex was lying out of spite. Point is, true or not, it was a third party rumor and I did absolutely nothing to address it, letting it have it's own life. With no corroboration, I am sure some still believe it and others don't, but that I will never acknowledge or address it either way.

Keep the high road.

[Crissy 107]

Monica, Interesting that he called you but I would still dump this loser, he is no friend

[Pumped]

So, now he wants to go on a date?

Makes me wonder his motives!

[DianeT]

And suddenly all becomes clear. If you go to this meeting dressed, you will soon discover that f(r)iend #1 did too and invited the unsuspecting you to a GNO, hoping to get advices on his wardrobe and tips for smoky eyes done right.
"Uncle Bob, can you rewind the tape and enhance sound like they do pictures in these police movies."
"Sure, inspector Fanny."
- Clock! - zwiiizwiiiwiiwiiwiiwii - clock! -
F(r)iend #1: "I heard you have great legs!"
(To himself) "How does he achieve that. He's moisturizing every day for sure. Darn. If only I could find out the cosmetic brand he is using. Mine are dry and itchy in pantyhose."
- Click! - zweeezweeezayzay - clack! -
F(r)iend #1: "Yeah, my son told me you looked kind of hot when he pulled you over. Mwuhahahaha!"
(To himself) "How does he pull this off? I'd love to look like an atomic bombshell but when I'm wrapped in my bodycon dress I look more like an overstuffed hoagie than Marilyn Monroe singing for Kennedy. I definitely need the address of his tailor - Aw, friend #2 changed the subject to sports. Pfff here we go more talk about greasy hairy sweating bipeds with no clue about color matching and floral patterns..."
- Clock! -

[Suzie Petersen]

Monica,
You already know his true personality!
One thing would be if he had made fun of you, butnit is a totally different spitefull thing to make fun and out you to another friend. There is no excuse for that.

[josie_S]

So, now he wants to go on a date?

Makes me wonder his motives!

It doesn't make me wonder about his motives at all! LOL

[MonicaPVD]

Diane,
This is hilarious! I don't doubt it. All the more reason to stay far away. You might be surprised at the number of men, who I have met over the years, who come on strong only to reveal their lifelong closeted desire to be CD or trans. If I had a Bitcoin for every alpha-looking guy who eventually took a sharp turn into "I love to wear panties/pantyhose/etc", I would be a multimillionaire. 😂

[candykowal]

Thanks for posting your experience in this matter, the thread caused me to visualize what I would do.
I could see the same scenario as I know a few local men and women officers who have friended my wife thru volunteer work.
And mine situation would be a bit more of a sticky wicket than yours.
I also would take the high road though, I might have said something during the initial stop like, "lets keep this professional and keep it to yourself please!"

I also have a TG I.D. card I use along with my license to bring that point across....
my address and license numbers are faked to show the message of the I. D.
318558

I got it a my local TG salon, they made it while I waited, for $10 but if you have a laminating machine, you could make your own!
I had to use it when trying to get around a out of town tourist, the police officer was very professional and knew a can of worm when he saw my I.D.:heehee:
It leaves no doubt in a court room and also conveys you respect them. No ticket, just a verbal warning...PHEW! :rolleyes:

[MonicaPVD]

Candice, that's very cool. Not sure if it would have changed anything in this very freak scenario, but definitely worth pursuing for the future. I have been pulled over before while dressed, mostly because I'm a terrible driver, and have never ever had any issues. There's a first time for everything!

[Rogina B]

As a TGwoman that has been out to the world for 15 years,I suggest you take control of the narrative. Meet the guy for a coffee and a talk. Dress mainstream,exude confidence in your right to be you. Thank him for volunteering to be your publicity agent,but you would rather tell your own story. Ask him if he has questions or fearsand let him know that you aren't ready to come out,if that is in your future. And let him know that he is trusted in your inner circle or you wouldn't be there. I bet he will shut up if that is what you wish...

[Pumped]

.....and be wary of his hand on your knee!:lol2:

[JennyMay]

I think I would still refer you to my previous answer. He has shown himself to be untrustworthy and immature. Take control. I would not go along with his voyeurism.

[SaraLin]

Candace,

Please, PLEASE - tell me that this isn't your real drivers' license number!
That isn't something you should be sharing with the world at large.


And to Monica:
I'm sorry, but if it were me, I'd tell #1 that he has shown himself to be un-trustworthy and he's going to have to earn back the friendship that he's damaged so badly. Then see what happens...

About the son, I'm not sure, but I think a "you should know about this" letter to his superiors might be in order.
Since he's new to the force, now is the time to set him straight. He needs to know that this is not OK.

[Leslie Mary S]

Monica,

Of course this is too late now, but just as a thought, what if you did the unexpected? Embrace the conversation? Basically answer back, "Why, yes I DO clean up well. Your son said I was hot?? Really?? I hope he isn't planning on asking me out on a date or anything. Come to think of it, it seems as if YOU'RE quite intrigued as well. Is there something you're not telling us?"

It's an old Tai Chi strategy, use their force against them. When they push add a little energy in the same direction, and they over-commit and fall off balance. Essentially you flip it on them, and then they have to defend themselves.

Just a thought

I really like the way You (Megan4Now) advised. Be ready to turn the table.

And I have had a few barflies try to hit on me. They, like myself, were near "Older than the Hills" age. grin

[MonicaPVD]

Thank you all for the feedback, suggestions and laughs. I ❤️ you!

[Meghan4now]

Just another note, while the son telling the story to dad was not very cool, it's to be expected. A police officer is not a priest or a doctor, and is not bound to a code of secrecy in their dealings with the public. They gossip as much, if not more than, anyone else. Going to the department is likely to not do anything. He treated you professionally in the field. Even if the department is large enough to have an LBGTQ liaison officer, this is a mild bending of conduct rules at best.

I would just leave it alone for now, and just ask friend #1 if he and the son just forget about the incident for the sake of the friendship.

Candace, I didn't know Rory was still doing the license thing. I always thought that would be cool, and that it should be two sided. I hope the number on there is not you DL #. You need to redact that, as that is a very dangerous sec ops foul.

[Sandi Beech]

Monica

You know what is kind of funny. If some of these clowns like friend number one got to hang out with some of the very pretty young women who I have been with just by being dressed up, they would probably be saying this - give me some lipstick honey.

And I am not joking , but it is funny.

Sandi

[candykowal]

Candace,

Please, PLEASE - tell me that this isn't your real drivers' license number!
That isn't something you should be sharing with the world at large.

...Candace, I didn't know Rory was still doing the license thing. I hope the number on there is not you DL #. You need to redact that, as that is a very dangerous sec ops foul.

No., read the fine print above the picture...all retouched...thanks.
Yes, Rori was as of 2018...I am sure she still can...but it is appointment only because of Covid and cleaning up from a fire upstairs this past spring...see the website or call the store number for more info!

[Leslie Mary S]

I almost got busted in my home. I was fully dressed, makeup and all. DarkAnGGel was cooking dinner and one of the pans started to smoke and set off the fire alarm. Though I got the alarm turned of, the security service had already called the fire department and they came quicker than blazes. I just had time to get back to my closet. DarkAnGGel has a fear of strangers and didn't want to answer the door.
As the Firemen where coming into the house they cot the all clear call from my security service so they turned around and left.

I am capable to make some of those cards.
318639
I will be laminating one similar to this one, but with my real driving permit number and weight.

[Alexis00]

Not cool I would have a serious discussion with that jerk! Friend number 2 sounds like true friend. I have done. Multiple 150 mile drives completely dressed and always worried about being pulled over but after reading all the positive comments on this forum about police interactions I no longer worry about it. Stay strong Monica.I was pulled over in a DUI roadblock. The state trooper asked me if I?d been drinking, said no, and was on my way.

[MonicaPVD]

UPDATE:

Last night, after a prolonged struggle with the fog, I went out looking all sexy for a drink and a distraction. Headed to a favorite restaurant in a city that's about 15 miles from home - just far enough. Well, that drink turned into more drinks, had a lovely conversation with a lonely old man sitting nearby who actually bought me a few drinks, and then I did what I promised myself never to do. I texted friend #1.

Yes, I'm an idiot. Completely. But the curiosity and risk of it all, along with a few strong drinks, got the best of me. So, friend #1 responded right away and we texted for a bit. I told him where I was and, sure enough, he showed up about a half hour later.

Lets just say that his jaw was on the floor for the first few minutes, and then his eyes were on my chest for a long while. He apologized over and over and then asked me a lot of questions about my alter ego. It was like being quizzed. After that, he relaxed a little bit and we hung out, watched a game on the TV, and basically had our normal conversation and banter. That is, until I made this really stupid and tacky joke and we started laughing and laughing. Next thing you know, yup, he laid his hand on my bare leg. I stopped laughing, looked down and said, hey man, what's that about? He moved his hand away and apologized. The game wrapped up shortly after that, we didn't talk much and then it was time for me to go. He wanted to walk me to my car but I told him that I was good. He looked quite disappointed and embarrassed. It was a fun night.

[Sandi Beech]

Monica,

Wow that is freaky. I guess those who suggested he might have some interest in you were correct. Even so, it might not have been a good idea to invite him, but seeing how I have some slip ups after a few drinks it is completely understandable. I guess you should have snapped a pic of your leg with his hand on it and told him you could turn the tables on him if he was not respectful of outing you to more people . Two can play at the outing game.

I hope you took an Uber or something home. That is what I do exclusively when drinking.

Keep us posted with future developments.

; )

Sandi

[Lisa516]

We run risks when we deviate from the norm.

How true!!
I was busted once but not in front of friends in a situation like that. How awful an close minded most people are, it was a one on one with the neighbor downstairs.

[MonicaPVD]

Monica,

Wow that is freaky. I guess those who suggested he might have some interest in you were correct. Even so, it might not have been a good idea to invite him, but seeing how I have some slip ups after a few drinks it is completely understandable. I guess you should have snapped a pic of your leg with his hand on it and told him you could turn the tables on him if he was not respectful of outing you to more people . Two can play at the outing game.

I hope you took an Uber or something home. That is what I do exclusively when drinking.

Keep us posted with future developments.

; )

Sandi

It was dumb if me but it turned out OK. I think there was a part of me that was hoping that it would go south, thus outing me to my acquaintances and forcing me to come to terms with this part of my life. That did not happen, but the possibility is constant.

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Monica,
First of all, thank you for sharing! Wow! What Sandy said! You be careful, stay safe, and take Uber home.
Brenda

[alwayshave]

Monica, I'm so sorry that this happened to you. At least friend #2 ended up being a real friend.

[Genifer Teal]

No one commented about the ticket? A long time friend of his dad and he couldn't give you a warning? That was the first bad sign.

[Pumped]

Monica, at least now if he gives you any crap about your dressing you can ask him who had his hand on your leg and looked disappointed when you shut him down!

[Sallee]

Here is my two cents. The cop was wrong to tell his father but I am not surprised and his father was wrong to bring it up. But that is water under the bridge now. But with that being said if he wants see you dressed and go to lunch that might be fun just spell it out to him when it happens. That this is your thing and you enjoy it and have friends that you see that also enjoy and there is nothing sexual in it.
I have been stopped while dressed and got a ticket. I immediately told the cop while I pulled out my license that I was crossdressed and was just visiting friends, more than he needed to know. I had not been drinking. He was very professional and said nothing about me being dressed. I was stopped in the gay neighborhood in SAn Diego and had to go to traffic school. My crime was that I went straight in a left hand turn lane. AT traffic school everyone got a laugh out of that considering the area of town.

[Beverley Sims]

Do you still associate with friend #1?

At least it was played down a bit.

Get's a little embarrassing doesn't it? :-)

[jamienoir]

This is interesting. Is this like a childhood friend?

[KateClarkRN]

I think Friend #2 handled it well considering the circumstances he was put in during that conversation.

[Geena75]

The plot has definitely thickened. On a positive note: with the goal of presenting convincingly as a woman, mission accomplished. The guy seemed to forget who you are and reacted as he would with an attractive woman, including offering to walk you to the car. Downside: random touching, attraction? I've become leery of being touched unless by mutual consent -- so I find that pretty creepy. You would know better than I, but I wonder what kind of guy he is, particularly in his regard for women. Could he be a "wolf in cheap clothing?"

[Kiwi Primrose]

Let's hope the young cop matures into his job and learns manners and how to be professional. His father chose to stick it to you instead of his son so there isn't much chance though. Both have a smart and boorish approach to life and No.2 is your true friend.

[MonicaPVD]

Thanks for the feedback! Friend #1 is someone I have known for more than a decade. We used to work together and, during that time, spent a lot of time hanging out with each others extended family. I think he let his curiosity get the best of him during our recent encounter, but I'm not too worried about it. I took a risk showing up as Monica and it worked out in the end.

[Rogina B]

I took a risk showing up as Monica and it worked out in the end. If I recall,my suggestion was to dress mainstream,meet for cofee,and explain yourself. You aren't really out to these people you consider friends as you haven't really explained yourself. If your intention is to transition in any way,then you need formulate a discussion of what being accepted as Monica means to you. Obviously,just my opinion,but worth thinking about.

[MonicaPVD]

Update #2:

On Friday afternoon, I received an unexpected call from my repentant and curious friend. He asked me if I had any evening plans. When I said no, he asked if I'd like to meet up for a drink around 8pm. The local authorities have started relaxing regulations around bars this past week so I was eager to experience a bit of normalcy. I said, sure. Well, he paused for a moment and then asked, should I expect you or Monica?" I asked him who he would prefer and he replied," I'm sure you know the answer to that question."

So, Friday night we met at a restaurant and hung out for a couple of hours. He complimented me on my looks and, TBH, I did look pretty hot. It was funny and odd to see how the conversation evolved over the course of the evening. We started out as two buddies talking nonsense, work and grievances but, as the drinks flowed, he steadily moved into male suitor mode.

I managed the situation well but, honestly, I'm a total sucker for male attention. After a couple of hours, I remembered that had to get home so I said my goodbyes and proceeded to leave. He asked to walk me to my car and I obliged. When we got to my car, he gave me a hug and before I knew it, he gently pulled down my face mask and we kissed. Fortunately, there was no social distancing cop nearby. I got in the car and drove off. It was a good night.

[Sandi Beech]

Wow

Sandi

[Jacke]

Wow is right, Sandi

[Valerie Louise]

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said a spider to a fly; ..."
From The Spider and the Fly, a poem by Mary Howitt

[jamienoir]

To quote the wise words of Grady from Sandford and Son, "Good Goobly Goo!"

[ellbee]

Sooo...

Unless I'm mistaken by your posts elsewhere, it sounds like you're married.


Is he, as well?


:thinking:

[Sometimes Steffi]

Monica

Now this is very interesting. He knows you're a guy, he's friends with you as a guy. But, he clearly wants to be friends with you as a girl!!! Very curious!!!

You go girl. You can have fun with this this multiple ways.

Be a tease and lead him on.

Give into his desires and see where it goes. Oh, then rat him out to his dad.

Drop him like a hot tamale.




"Will you walk into my parlour?" said a spider to a fly; ..."

From The Spider and the Fly, a poem by Mary Howitt


Rikki

Who's the spider and who's the fly in this case? It could work either way.

[MonicaPVD]

Ellbee, he is married to a very nice woman. I, too, am married to a very nice woman who does not accept anything about Monica. I also occasionally date men. It's terrible but it works for me.

- - - Updated - - -

Steffi,

Thanks. We shall see where this leads. I enjoy the attention and the chase, but I have no interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone besides my SO. Besides, playing this kind of game with a newbie never ends well. They just aren't prepared for the flood of conflicting emotions and either flee or become a real pain. Been there before.

[Rogina B]

You are so right about the "confliction" ! That kiss has started it !

[jessica33]

Your friend #1 is a cd admire?

[MonicaPVD]

Jessica, I don't think he is. As far as I can tell and from what he has told me, he's been a boring hetero married guy for the longest time. I think he is just intrigued and turned on by the fact that his friend has this secret alternative identity that he finds attractive. As I mentioned earlier, going down this path with a newbie admirer never ends well. They can't handle it well. I prefer to deal with more experienced admirers who are comfortable with themselves.

[Sherrii]

The cop might have been OK with telling the story but should NEVER have mentioned who it was he was talking about. You can do nothing. Or you could talk with him and let him know you know what he did and if he ever does anything like that again you will report him. Or you could just report him. Sherrii

[MonicaPVD]

I would agree with you, Sherri, but cops aren't attorneys or health care professionals, so there's no expectation of privilege when it comes to disclosing stuff like this.

[ellbee]

Ellbee, he is married to a very nice woman. I, too, am married to a very nice woman who does not accept anything about Monica. I also occasionally date men. It's terrible but it works for me.

Forgive me for not knowing your back-story, but...


Is your wife aware of this "extracurricular activity"?

If so, how does she feel about it?



Anyway, I get it. Some of us, including me, found "being the woman" in a romantic/sexual relationship with a man to be interesting, eye-opening, exciting & quite enjoyable on a variety of levels.

And as a "former mistress," I'm also familiar that some couples might be generally "okay" with one or both partners having safe occasional flings (or more!), and how the dynamics of such an open LTR/marriage may work, along with the reasoning behind it.


IOW? I ain't trying to bash you or anything, hon.

Just curious, is all. :)

[MonicaPVD]

Ellbee, I'd like to think that she is unaware, as it's something that I keep entirely separate from our life together. However, she is very bright and insightful. It's more likely that she chooses to navigate that river in Egypt.

[Valerie Louise]

Oh Monica is definitely the spider here. The guy started out clueless and somewhat the bully, and ended caught up in it ... just like flies.

[DianeT]

I enjoy the attention and the chase, but I have no interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone besides my SO
Monica, pardon me for saying, but you are already in a physical relationship with your friend, touching and kissing. Also, in these times of COVID, it seems to me that you are putting your wife to a great risk by kissing someone outside of the household and not telling her.

[MonicaPVD]

Diane,

Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Feel free to add this to the list of terrible yet fun things that I do. You may find a Google docs spreadsheet useful for the endeavor.

[jessica33]

This is so exciting. I can't wait to hear more about you and your friend #1 future outing.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Monica, pardon me for saying, but you are already in a physical relationship with your friend, touching and kissing.


Monica

Don't worry yet. You were a "good girl" and only let him get to first base.

He, on the other hand kissed a very pretty woman that he has a strong reason to believe may be a man. He must be breathing the pink fog now.

So, I'm not into men. I'll take a good woman any time, whether dressed or not, However, I have not problem with you liking men. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm a little "man curious" and just haven't found anyone cute enough,

So, "Lola", if you like male attention, go for it. Just be prepared for monumental blowback from your wife if this happens. He's already told someone, so we know he can't keep a secret. If you run in the same social circles, he could accidentally or deliberately out you to your wife on two "offences".

[MonicaPVD]

Thanks Steffi. Just to clarify, he has known me as a guy for many years. There's no gray area there. We shall see where this all goes. Life is risk.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Monica

I understood that he knew that you were male. I was just being cute with my wording.

I'm still trying to figure out what he is:
Gay or bisexual
Admirer

I don't know what I would have done i I had been in you place. I think that I would have totally froze.

[Sandi Beech]

Monica,

It seems likely you might get a call for a follow up date seeing how the last meet up went. I am curious how long it will take. I bet he does not last a week before calling again. Keep us posted : )

Sandi

[Geena75]

Monica,

As I'm sure you are aware, many of us are from your parent's generation and that would shade opinions on your social choices. i.e. for me a kiss on the lips is a major thing (I've only kissed my spouse like that for the past 33 years, and only one other person about 8 years before that). But, my personal standards are for me, alone, and I won't cross that line.

One curiosity, though. Is this friend someone you ever socialize with including spouses? I could see an intensely awkward situation. Regardless, I wonder if your relationship with this friend has become extremely complicated.

[MonicaPVD]

Geena,
I embrace the fact that I am not a good person. I completely understand your point of view, and I would not challenge it. However, this is who I am and it's what I do. To answer your question, he has been over my house a few times to watch games in the past, along with other friends, but no interaction as couples.

[Geena75]

Monica, I wouldn't say you are not a good person (all in all, you seem pretty cool). Perhaps the phrase "free spirit" would better describe you. Like in so many things, I lean toward caution. But, I wish you well on this -- it does sound pretty exciting.

[DianeT]

As I'm sure you are aware, many of us are from your parent's generation and that would shade opinions on your social choices. i.e. for me a kiss on the lips is a major thing (I've only kissed my spouse like that for the past 33 years, and only one other person about 8 years before that). But, my personal standards are for me, alone, and I won't cross that line.
Geena, in case my post is being discussed here without being explicitly quoted, at 53 I could hardly be Monica's father, yet arranging multiple meetings with physical contacts is still a relationship of sort, or the beginning of one, in my book. I didn't agree with Monica's statement and said so politely. I also had concerns about COVID. There was no judgments on my part. Thanks for not interpreting my words further. I have the answers to my questions and will leave it there.

[Stiletto Gurl]

FWIW, I think Friend #1 woke up sober, realized he had blabbed something his police officer son had told him not to discuss because he?d be in trouble. Then police officer son and dad get plan together to pacify you. How many other people has this officer told in your small community?

[Maria in heels]

As many have said Monica, he really isn't a friend. The son was being unprofessional, but with family, that can happen many times unfortunately. However, your friend bringing it up while out was just sheer stupidity, and we know that you can't fix stupid. You know better now, and #1 isn't worth your time and just let him fade away

[Sandi Beech]

Of course Monica?s last comment describing the night says: It was a good night. Sounds to me Monica had fun.

Just a thought

Sandi

[stefaniec]

I've also had a run-in with the law while dressed up, but my encounter was much more short-lived and did not develop the intrigue your experience has!

I got pulled over by a cop the very first night I went out dressed up. Basically I wasn't getting any responses to my craigslist post and was bored and feeling bold. So I decided to go out for a harmless drive. As they say, nothing good happens after midnight. That's when I realized I was by a public lake park, that I knew from another site to be a semi-discreet outdoor hookup area for guys. As I'm driving down the road towards it, I see a car pulling out of the parking lot onto the road and think nothing of it. Sure enough I pull in and bam, there's a police cruiser sitting there. He flashes his brights at me and I stop and roll my window down. I was like oh boy I am so screwed, as he shined his bright af flashlight right in my face. He paused for a minute and I couldn't see anything with that light right in my face, after what felt like a lifetime he was like "park's closed now" and I don't even remember what little noise I made when he handed me my ID back. Needless to say I got out of there in a hurry!

But for your experience, I am never surprised when a guy is interested in a cd/ts. Having been on a few other sites and just from my interactions online back in the CL days, I know so many guys are into it they just wouldn't admit for the most part. But present them with the situation and they'll usually go for it.

As for cops in general, I can somewhat empathize with them. I have a brother who does highway patrol, every few months I speak to him. It seems to be like a very stressful job and he doesn't get paid enough to deal with what he has. His only outlet is just trying to talk about what he sees on the job as a form of stress relief. However I will say just pulling over a cd for speeding isn't a stressful event and the officer doesn't really need to go telling anyone about it.